Weight Loss Diary 2017 - Goal 1-0-5

alligatorob

Respected Member
Glad your date went well, and I am sure he was not concerned about your weight! Online dating must be interesting, I am too old to have had the opportunity to experience it.
Our beaches aren't real beaches, of course, just sand and a bit of water.
Sounds like a real beach to me! Water and sand is about all you need.
 

misty22

Well-known member
I'm glad your date went well & I hope you see him again.
Look at that 114.8. :)

Thanks so much, Cate - what you said really hit me and I decided to go vs cancel. You said a few extra lbs shouldn't matter to a good guy. I don't know if he's going to call and ask me out again, but it was a pleasant date.
 

Cate

Long-term member.
Thanks so much, Cate - what you said really hit me and I decided to go vs cancel. You said a few extra lbs shouldn't matter to a good guy. I don't know if he's going to call and ask me out again, but it was a pleasant date.
I’m glad. It certainly should not matter to a good guy :grouphug;
 

misty22

Well-known member
Glad your date went well, and I am sure he was not concerned about your weight! Online dating must be interesting, I am too old to have had the opportunity to experience it.
Sounds like a real beach to me! Water and sand is about all you need.

Haha yes sand and water is technically a beach. Online dating is frustrating. I actually prefer meeting someone organically and having things grow at a good pace. Online, there are multiple men and women to choose from, so people move from one person to the next even if it's been a good date because there is the illusion of something better or they actually do click with someone else better. Too much choice.
 

misty22

Well-known member
I had a lightbulb moment yesterday, I felt so different, the feeling has faded a bit today but sentiment holds.

But anyways, it started because I couldn't sleep until 4am two days ago, I was thinking of everything, being unemployed, being single, being sick and just not being where I wanted to be in life financially. And I cried and I prayed to God. And yesterday, I had this overwhelming feeling that I can get through this. That I have constantly been criticized by family, employers, 'friends', boys and that I don't deserve to criticize and make myself feel small anymore. I am not perfect, by any means (I mean look at my life lol) but I have to be my own cheerleader, have to care less, have to do more things in an action-oriented way (which, by the way, I am SUPER uncomfortable with), but I need to have a 'IDGAF' mentality and accept rejection with open arms, whether its an employer or a love interest. I have been so critical of myself in my head for years and I am tired. I am tired of listening to broken people, toxic companies, toxic managers telling me what's wrong with me, telling me what I am worth. I want to be in my own corner.

I don't know how long this feeling will last, but it needs to become a mantra. I feel I've hit a ceiling and I am breaking through somehow. I'm in this for me.

I came across a video yesterday asking 'how bad do you want it' - and I want to be employed. So I have been messaging hiring managers. I don't ever want to be in the position and the pain that I am in today. There is a lot of mental anguish and pain with my weight even and I am trying to fix it. It really hurt when that overweight dad of three said I was 8 - 12lbs heavier than he thought I looked in my pics eventhough they're all taken near around where I am right now. He was definitely a piece of trash but regardless, I've never had a stranger say that to my face. And I am trying to leverage this hurt and this pain into something positive.
 

misty22

Well-known member
Ugh, I hate that my hair is still shedding. I am coming off of eggs and dairy as sensitivities.

I'm doing another GI test - have been having a lot of acid reflux.

These are the things I am doing to curb this:
- Celery Juice (tastes awful but lots of success stories)
- ACV
- Enzymes
- Bitters

This feels like a really long road ahead. I'm tired. But no choice.

I am also supplementing with progesterone from day 14 - 28, only concern is that this causes weight gain :(
 
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misty22

Well-known member
I'm feeling depressed today. I've applied to tons of places and am not getting call backs. But instead of stressing out, I have to remind myself that I can only manage what I can control.

CW: 114.6lbs
GW: 112 lbs (May 31/ June 1)
 

misty22

Well-known member
I got vaccinated yesterday and my arm is somewhat sore. Not the worst thing to happen to me though.

I'm struggling with the hair loss, I am sending in another GI MAP test today. But i will need to work on bringing up my stomach acid and supporting my adrenals. I've also been bleeding outside the norm, I assume it's a hormonal fluctuation. I found this article helpful: Curing Hair Loss, A Functional Medicine Approach – Functional Medicine | Chiropractic | Phoenix | Dr.Darrell Kilcup |

Things to focus on:
- Minerals
- Absorption
- Detoxification (liver)
- Adrenal health

Anyways, all I can do is get on a healthier diet, I've recently cut out dairy. But coffee has been super hard to give up. It is the last thing left to nix. I don't even like the taste of coffee, I just need something to wake me up. But I can try an electrolyte powder for that for a couple of days.

CW: 113.4lbs
End of June goal: 108lbs
End of July goal: 105lbs
 

misty22

Well-known member
CW: 113lbs

The crazy part of me thinks I can get down to 105lbs by the end of the month. 10X goals?

I have an interview tomorrow that I PRAY is going to go well. I just need to be myself and showcase my best qualities, that's all. I'm feeling nervous about it, sigh. I don't even know why. I have such a wealth of experience and I know I have leadership qualities. My friend said that whatever is meant for me, will not pass me by. I pray that I do well, regardless.

Also this week, post-interview, I will need to pick up my aggressive job search, including networking as I have been soft on that for about two weeks. I had a bad slump week last week but feel more energized this week...

Also, have date #2 with the guy (T) from a couple weeks ago. I'm not sure how sold I am on him. He kept texting here and there and then I asked him out to stop the breadcrumbing (yes, it's an online dating term...it's when someone texts you juuust enough to keep in touch but no real conversation). I find that someone who isn't serious, when asked out, automatically deflects or declines. Surprisingly T said yes. I'm excited to be getting out of isolation. How much I like him and how compatible he is, is yet to be seen.
 

Cate

Long-term member.
Fingers crossed for your interview. Go into it thinking this-
I have such a wealth of experience and I know I have leadership qualities.
I hope the date is enjoyable. I can't imagine getting to know someone on the first date. G had second thoughts about dating me after the first date, but luckily changed his mind & here we are happy together still.
Go in there tomorrow, head held high & confident xoxo
 

misty22

Well-known member
Fingers crossed for your interview. Go into it thinking this-

I hope the date is enjoyable. I can't imagine getting to know someone on the first date. G had second thoughts about dating me after the first date, but luckily changed his mind & here we are happy together still.
Go in there tomorrow, head held high & confident xoxo

Thanks so much Cate, will let you know how both go xoxo
Hahaha I can't believe G had second thoughts about you, good thing he didn't miss out on a catch ;)

CW: 112.6lbs
 

Cate

Long-term member.
I do remind him of it occasionally.
Looking forward to hearing about the job interview & the second date xo
 

misty22

Well-known member
The job interview was rushed, the hiring manager only had a 30min slot and rushed to the next interview after mine...I loved the role, I think it's such a good fit but I may miss out on the account I don't have a healthcare background as the job was in that industry. I'm trying not to fall in love with the role, even though it checked a lot of my boxes, which is rare for a job. I have to keep looking for good opportunities this week and next...as we are into summer and I am still jobless lol

Date went well, I like him, but I am not crazy about him. I think the feeling is the same on the other end. In my past relationships, the feeling has been intense and consistent up to a point. Over here it feels like there isn't a huge spark but a mutual liking. The problem with online dating is that it tends to fizzle out quickly and I am wondering if that's what will happen here. He's very nice, handsome, has a very cute cat. His communication is a bit inconsistent, he comes across as a bit awkward, and our interests are different. I also think once I get a job, I have the potential to make more income than him, which I don't know why, but that worries me. I'm very traditional in that I've always expected my partner to make more than me and that's what has happened in previous relationships, it's strange thinking of myself as a breadwinner. But that has been playing on my mind a lot, I didn't grow up rich, lower middle class I would say so money is a touchy topic for me.
 
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misty22

Well-known member
CW: 112.2lbs

Sorry to add to above post, I don't know if he has the ambition and drive that I am looking for in a partner, I feel someone needs to light a fire underneath me a lot of time, push me to do things outside of my comfort zone, encourage me, and I have come to expect that from my partner based on my previous relationships.
 
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misty22

Well-known member
I met my friend S. yesterday, it was sooooo nice interacting with another human.

T has been hot and cold in terms of communication, so I am taking a mini break from dating to focus on my health and my weight. It's emotionally exhausting moving from one person to another, so I tend to take breaks in between. I was reading online that date #3 is where it's at. Date #1 is when you meet the person, date #2 you get to know them better and then date #3 is when you're really "in" with the other person. This makes sense as most of the men I meet, either they or I cut it off at date #1 or #2.

Coffee journey has been on and off. I got away without coffee for the past two days but back on today. Slowly weaning myself off as I need my stomach to heal. I drink it because the job hunting is stressing me and when I need to work on applications, I need a bit. I did get some rose tea from my friend so wondering if that can be a replacement next week.

I'm hoping my GI MAP results come back soon so I can see what's going on with my digestion. All I am doing different is trying to incorporate celery juice everyday and then also a detox smoothie - both of them taste gross but at this point I am willing to do anything to get my body back to health.


CW: 113.6lbs
GW June: 108lbs
 

Cate

Long-term member.
Online dating sounds very stressful to me, but there aren't many alternatives these days. I would have so much trouble giving up my morning coffee. I have no intentions of doing so. I drink mostly peppermint tea for the rest of the day. Teabags don't cut it though. It has to be loose tea.
 

misty22

Well-known member
And in true online dating style, I've been ghosted again, lol. Oh well, was upset yesterday but so aware of this ridiculousness.

I'm taking a bit of a break to focus on me. Goal for this week is to get down to 110 lbs by end of the week (Sun).

CW: 112.6lbs
GW: 108lbs
 
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