Weight Loss Diary 2017 - Goal 1-0-5

Milanica

New member
I am sorry to hear that.
Hope you got a good rest!
 

misty22

Well-known member
I'm in a strange space, I've been worried about lining up interviews and need to take up a growth marketing course.

I asked the place that I volunteer if they'd consider taking me on paid PT - it would be nothing close to what I make in regular salary but may help put some $$ towards rent. If they say no, that frees up my time to job hunt and study and focus on making money PT some other way. There's always a silver lining I suppose.

I have enough in savings for about 5 more months...I don't want to blow it all though, it's my savings. So I am really praying something comes through in the next 2-3 months. I've been applying but I haven't been actively following up on applications.

Last week was a shit show with the event for the volunteer work, put in so many hours only to have it be a disaster. And I had three interviews in the week with the same healthcare company, on three separate days - I went through a total of five rounds with them and I think it's just a bust b/c I have not heard back yet. So my time and energy went into that. Sometimes I look back and I wonder what I have done for three and a half months of unemployment.

I've interviewed with 12 companies, mostly HR interviews where we both determined I am not a suitable fit. It's been difficult transitioning into a new industry, because half of those companies, I was applying to roles that weren't a fit for me. Then I had a talk with someone and I was more focused but I still have a skill set gap, but the only way to fill a skill set gap is to work...and if I don't have the experience...how can I address the skill set gap. I could take on another volunteer job...and then there's courses. And networking, of course. All that takes time. Argh.
 

misty22

Well-known member
I just heard from a friend of mine that she got a job - but she knew the hiring manager, so different when you know someone on the inside. I'm still waiting to hear back (either way) but have been applying to jobs, bought a couple of Growth Marketing courses that I will start to dig into today.

I haven't checked my weight, I binge ate yesterday. I mean yesterday wasn't as bad as the day before but I won't lie that I wake up feeling depressed mostly w/o employment. I know it's a matter of timing but this stretch feels difficult. And I feel pretty lonely as I go through it. Being alone in the health journey is one thing, being alone in another journey is just another stressor and then there is the pandemic isolation lol. Ugh.

I need to be more emotionally and mentally strong - hopefully I snap out of this mood soon and I get traction elsewhere.

The last two times I made it to a final round ...one was with Pfizer and I was absolutely crushed, years ago, they had three spots open and ended up cutting one and taking the other two candidates over me. And then last year with Tims...but I botched that final interview with the President lol. It wasn't for me. And then there is this role, where I feel me and the hiring manager didn't bond as much, and other people pushed me through to the final round...sigh, let's see. I will give it till the end of week for them to contact me. I am confused because the HR manager said they wanted to move fast, so I would assume they'd give me an answer either way by now. But if they're planning on saying, no, I guess they can take their sweet time.
 

Cate

Long-term member.
This must be such a frustrating time for you, Misty. Hang in there & keep on trying. It's a crazy world at the moment :grouphug:
 

misty22

Well-known member
Thanks Cate.

I cried a lot yesterday. I think also because I got my late period. I haven't ovulated since last year, looking at my period tracker. I felt very stressed. I cried a lot and I thought to myself, my worth can't be left in the hands of some skinny young kid (hiring manager was younger than me and clearly a bit inexperienced in what I do). So yeah, haven't heard back, don't expect to, to be honest. And like I know my worth and if someone can't recognize it, it is my duty to move on and kick ass elsewhere. I just wish sometimes I was emotionally disconnected from everything. It sucks being an empath and having emotions. Or being self reflective.

I also have an appointment with the doctor on Mon to ask for lab work for my hormones b/c I forgot about my pituitary tumour lol but it's been on my mind lately. I need to check if it's throwing anything off. It's small but it can grow or mess with my hormones by throwing them off.

Got asked out on a date - and sort of froze up and ...I don't know. My weight has me really conscious. I just feel the reason I keep getting ghosted is my weight. And I am frankly, tired of rejection. It would also be nice to get out and meet someone new. If only I were 9lbs lighter already.

But anyways, pity party aside, this is all on me and I will work my way through it.

CW: 114.4lbs
 

misty22

Well-known member
Yesterday I was so tired that I fell asleep at 9pm. Honestly, best thing I have done for myself in a while.

My mind is in a few places right now and want to jot it all on here:

Job Stuff:
- Growth courses I bought are a good start - and I can leverage them in my volunteer work and update my resume, which is a good start
- There are a couple job roles that have come out where I need to update my resume and apply

Cash now:
- Thinking of starting dropshipping and seeing how it goes to make some cash
- Thinking if starting back up with my student coaching business but will see

CW: 114lbs
 

misty22

Well-known member
CW: 113.4lbs

My period has been rough, as has been my hair loss.

I have an appointment with Amanda on Mon to go over my gut test. What I think is happening is that my progesterone deficiency is causing my thyroid to go whack. I haven't ovulated at all this year so I have a progesterone deficiency for sure. I can't seem to stop the cycle but maybe improving my digestion will help.

I'm trying to stress less - I'm trying to emotionally detach.

I have a headache today and I am out of pain medication and I just ordered a coffee. I know I said no coffee and I keep going back like an addict but I have a heavy bleed today and thought I'd cut myself a bit of slack and start over when I feel better. I did have some celery juice this morning and chose an apple over a bagel. So made some healthy choices.

I'm choosing to focus on losing the 5lbs to get to where I was pre-pandemic and then losing the extra 3lbs after.
 
Last edited:

Cate

Long-term member.
I'm so sorry that you are having a rough day & a particularly rough period :grouphug:
Yes, please to cutting yourself some slack. Try to have a nurturing day :grouphug:
I don't know how many times I have looked up what you weigh & converted it to kilos. Tell me again what height you are, please. It seems so low to me.
 

misty22

Well-known member
I'm so sorry that you are having a rough day & a particularly rough period :grouphug:
Yes, please to cutting yourself some slack. Try to have a nurturing day :grouphug:
I don't know how many times I have looked up what you weigh & converted it to kilos. Tell me again what height you are, please. It seems so low to me.

Hi Cate, thanks, sorry, I don't mean to be looking for attention lol I love all your care, but I also just use here to voice my internal thoughts and sometimes I think they come out so messed up. So don't mind me sometimes...it's just the hair loss has picked up and I am not quite sure what to do. It messes with my head.

I am 5ft tall, currently 51kg and want to get to 47kg.
So according to BMI, the lowest I can go and not be underweight is 43kg.

Ive been at that weight before and don't look underweight...but i understand your concern...I have like broad shoulders and a wide frame so I'd never look underweight at 105lbs and it wouldn't be that way with the BMI scale either.
 

misty22

Well-known member
CW: I'm still in the 113s....

Today I was looking at my thunder thighs...ugh. Anyways, I am thankful to be at this weight regardless. I just need to keep going consistently and manage my calories and exercise and hoping to get down to 110llbs by end of next week. I may go out for a walk to sort of get my head together, it's been a while. I've been indoors for the most part. When I don't feel good about my weight and hair I don't want 'to be seen'.

Today i need to work on:
- resume
- getting three apps out
- 1 to 2 hours of online studying

CW: 113lbs
TW: 110lbs
 

misty22

Well-known member
I'm having some anxiety around everything today, particularly jobs. I don't enjoy any of this but maybe I should make a game of it. I'm probably going to get out for a walk. I got asked out so I will probably go out, dude isn't really my type but friendly. I don't know what I am doing anymore, with anything.

CW: 112.4lbs

TW: 110lbs by EOW
 

Cate

Long-term member.
Most of us don't really know what we're doing, hon. Just keep on keeping on & try to have some fun. A new friend would be nice xoxo
 

misty22

Well-known member
Most of us don't really know what we're doing, hon. Just keep on keeping on & try to have some fun. A new friend would be nice xoxo

Thanks Cate, you're right...I'll let you know how it goes, going out on Wed. Things have started opening up so we may be able to hit a patio.

I put on a summer dress today and I looked...too big. I don't know how else to say it, I looked fat. Anyways, I have 7 more lbs to go in total. It's going to be ok.
 

misty22

Well-known member
CW: 111.6lbs

Aiming for 110lbs by EOW, which would be great.

Today I plan to get job apps out.
 
Top