misty22
Well-known member
Oh, honey
Can you just go for a pleasant walk & not think about anything at all?
Thanks Cate xoxo yeah I need to take a break
Weight Loss Diary 2017 - Goal 1-0-5
- Thread starter misty22
- Start date
Thanks Cate xoxo yeah I need to take a break
misty22
Well-known member
I'm in a strange space, I've been worried about lining up interviews and need to take up a growth marketing course.
I asked the place that I volunteer if they'd consider taking me on paid PT - it would be nothing close to what I make in regular salary but may help put some $$ towards rent. If they say no, that frees up my time to job hunt and study and focus on making money PT some other way. There's always a silver lining I suppose.
I have enough in savings for about 5 more months...I don't want to blow it all though, it's my savings. So I am really praying something comes through in the next 2-3 months. I've been applying but I haven't been actively following up on applications.
Last week was a shit show with the event for the volunteer work, put in so many hours only to have it be a disaster. And I had three interviews in the week with the same healthcare company, on three separate days - I went through a total of five rounds with them and I think it's just a bust b/c I have not heard back yet. So my time and energy went into that. Sometimes I look back and I wonder what I have done for three and a half months of unemployment.
I've interviewed with 12 companies, mostly HR interviews where we both determined I am not a suitable fit. It's been difficult transitioning into a new industry, because half of those companies, I was applying to roles that weren't a fit for me. Then I had a talk with someone and I was more focused but I still have a skill set gap, but the only way to fill a skill set gap is to work...and if I don't have the experience...how can I address the skill set gap. I could take on another volunteer job...and then there's courses. And networking, of course. All that takes time. Argh.
I asked the place that I volunteer if they'd consider taking me on paid PT - it would be nothing close to what I make in regular salary but may help put some $$ towards rent. If they say no, that frees up my time to job hunt and study and focus on making money PT some other way. There's always a silver lining I suppose.
I have enough in savings for about 5 more months...I don't want to blow it all though, it's my savings. So I am really praying something comes through in the next 2-3 months. I've been applying but I haven't been actively following up on applications.
Last week was a shit show with the event for the volunteer work, put in so many hours only to have it be a disaster. And I had three interviews in the week with the same healthcare company, on three separate days - I went through a total of five rounds with them and I think it's just a bust b/c I have not heard back yet. So my time and energy went into that. Sometimes I look back and I wonder what I have done for three and a half months of unemployment.
I've interviewed with 12 companies, mostly HR interviews where we both determined I am not a suitable fit. It's been difficult transitioning into a new industry, because half of those companies, I was applying to roles that weren't a fit for me. Then I had a talk with someone and I was more focused but I still have a skill set gap, but the only way to fill a skill set gap is to work...and if I don't have the experience...how can I address the skill set gap. I could take on another volunteer job...and then there's courses. And networking, of course. All that takes time. Argh.
misty22
Well-known member
I just heard from a friend of mine that she got a job - but she knew the hiring manager, so different when you know someone on the inside. I'm still waiting to hear back (either way) but have been applying to jobs, bought a couple of Growth Marketing courses that I will start to dig into today.
I haven't checked my weight, I binge ate yesterday. I mean yesterday wasn't as bad as the day before but I won't lie that I wake up feeling depressed mostly w/o employment. I know it's a matter of timing but this stretch feels difficult. And I feel pretty lonely as I go through it. Being alone in the health journey is one thing, being alone in another journey is just another stressor and then there is the pandemic isolation lol. Ugh.
I need to be more emotionally and mentally strong - hopefully I snap out of this mood soon and I get traction elsewhere.
The last two times I made it to a final round ...one was with Pfizer and I was absolutely crushed, years ago, they had three spots open and ended up cutting one and taking the other two candidates over me. And then last year with Tims...but I botched that final interview with the President lol. It wasn't for me. And then there is this role, where I feel me and the hiring manager didn't bond as much, and other people pushed me through to the final round...sigh, let's see. I will give it till the end of week for them to contact me. I am confused because the HR manager said they wanted to move fast, so I would assume they'd give me an answer either way by now. But if they're planning on saying, no, I guess they can take their sweet time.
I haven't checked my weight, I binge ate yesterday. I mean yesterday wasn't as bad as the day before but I won't lie that I wake up feeling depressed mostly w/o employment. I know it's a matter of timing but this stretch feels difficult. And I feel pretty lonely as I go through it. Being alone in the health journey is one thing, being alone in another journey is just another stressor and then there is the pandemic isolation lol. Ugh.
I need to be more emotionally and mentally strong - hopefully I snap out of this mood soon and I get traction elsewhere.
The last two times I made it to a final round ...one was with Pfizer and I was absolutely crushed, years ago, they had three spots open and ended up cutting one and taking the other two candidates over me. And then last year with Tims...but I botched that final interview with the President lol. It wasn't for me. And then there is this role, where I feel me and the hiring manager didn't bond as much, and other people pushed me through to the final round...sigh, let's see. I will give it till the end of week for them to contact me. I am confused because the HR manager said they wanted to move fast, so I would assume they'd give me an answer either way by now. But if they're planning on saying, no, I guess they can take their sweet time.
misty22
Well-known member
Thanks Cate.
I cried a lot yesterday. I think also because I got my late period. I haven't ovulated since last year, looking at my period tracker. I felt very stressed. I cried a lot and I thought to myself, my worth can't be left in the hands of some skinny young kid (hiring manager was younger than me and clearly a bit inexperienced in what I do). So yeah, haven't heard back, don't expect to, to be honest. And like I know my worth and if someone can't recognize it, it is my duty to move on and kick ass elsewhere. I just wish sometimes I was emotionally disconnected from everything. It sucks being an empath and having emotions. Or being self reflective.
I also have an appointment with the doctor on Mon to ask for lab work for my hormones b/c I forgot about my pituitary tumour lol but it's been on my mind lately. I need to check if it's throwing anything off. It's small but it can grow or mess with my hormones by throwing them off.
Got asked out on a date - and sort of froze up and ...I don't know. My weight has me really conscious. I just feel the reason I keep getting ghosted is my weight. And I am frankly, tired of rejection. It would also be nice to get out and meet someone new. If only I were 9lbs lighter already.
But anyways, pity party aside, this is all on me and I will work my way through it.
CW: 114.4lbs
I cried a lot yesterday. I think also because I got my late period. I haven't ovulated since last year, looking at my period tracker. I felt very stressed. I cried a lot and I thought to myself, my worth can't be left in the hands of some skinny young kid (hiring manager was younger than me and clearly a bit inexperienced in what I do). So yeah, haven't heard back, don't expect to, to be honest. And like I know my worth and if someone can't recognize it, it is my duty to move on and kick ass elsewhere. I just wish sometimes I was emotionally disconnected from everything. It sucks being an empath and having emotions. Or being self reflective.
I also have an appointment with the doctor on Mon to ask for lab work for my hormones b/c I forgot about my pituitary tumour lol but it's been on my mind lately. I need to check if it's throwing anything off. It's small but it can grow or mess with my hormones by throwing them off.
Got asked out on a date - and sort of froze up and ...I don't know. My weight has me really conscious. I just feel the reason I keep getting ghosted is my weight. And I am frankly, tired of rejection. It would also be nice to get out and meet someone new. If only I were 9lbs lighter already.
But anyways, pity party aside, this is all on me and I will work my way through it.
CW: 114.4lbs
Cate
Forum auntie
misty22
Well-known member
I LOVE your hugs. HUGGGGGGGGGG tyI'm hearing you!
& another one, just because
misty22
Well-known member
Yesterday I was so tired that I fell asleep at 9pm. Honestly, best thing I have done for myself in a while.
My mind is in a few places right now and want to jot it all on here:
Job Stuff:
- Growth courses I bought are a good start - and I can leverage them in my volunteer work and update my resume, which is a good start
- There are a couple job roles that have come out where I need to update my resume and apply
Cash now:
- Thinking of starting dropshipping and seeing how it goes to make some cash
- Thinking if starting back up with my student coaching business but will see
CW: 114lbs
My mind is in a few places right now and want to jot it all on here:
Job Stuff:
- Growth courses I bought are a good start - and I can leverage them in my volunteer work and update my resume, which is a good start
- There are a couple job roles that have come out where I need to update my resume and apply
Cash now:
- Thinking of starting dropshipping and seeing how it goes to make some cash
- Thinking if starting back up with my student coaching business but will see
CW: 114lbs
misty22
Well-known member
CW: 113.4lbs
My period has been rough, as has been my hair loss.
I have an appointment with Amanda on Mon to go over my gut test. What I think is happening is that my progesterone deficiency is causing my thyroid to go whack. I haven't ovulated at all this year so I have a progesterone deficiency for sure. I can't seem to stop the cycle but maybe improving my digestion will help.
I'm trying to stress less - I'm trying to emotionally detach.
I have a headache today and I am out of pain medication and I just ordered a coffee. I know I said no coffee and I keep going back like an addict but I have a heavy bleed today and thought I'd cut myself a bit of slack and start over when I feel better. I did have some celery juice this morning and chose an apple over a bagel. So made some healthy choices.
I'm choosing to focus on losing the 5lbs to get to where I was pre-pandemic and then losing the extra 3lbs after.
My period has been rough, as has been my hair loss.
I have an appointment with Amanda on Mon to go over my gut test. What I think is happening is that my progesterone deficiency is causing my thyroid to go whack. I haven't ovulated at all this year so I have a progesterone deficiency for sure. I can't seem to stop the cycle but maybe improving my digestion will help.
I'm trying to stress less - I'm trying to emotionally detach.
I have a headache today and I am out of pain medication and I just ordered a coffee. I know I said no coffee and I keep going back like an addict but I have a heavy bleed today and thought I'd cut myself a bit of slack and start over when I feel better. I did have some celery juice this morning and chose an apple over a bagel. So made some healthy choices.
I'm choosing to focus on losing the 5lbs to get to where I was pre-pandemic and then losing the extra 3lbs after.
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Cate
Forum auntie
I'm so sorry that you are having a rough day & a particularly rough period
Yes, please to cutting yourself some slack. Try to have a nurturing day
I don't know how many times I have looked up what you weigh & converted it to kilos. Tell me again what height you are, please. It seems so low to me.
Yes, please to cutting yourself some slack. Try to have a nurturing day
I don't know how many times I have looked up what you weigh & converted it to kilos. Tell me again what height you are, please. It seems so low to me.
misty22
Well-known member
I'm so sorry that you are having a rough day & a particularly rough period
Yes, please to cutting yourself some slack. Try to have a nurturing day
I don't know how many times I have looked up what you weigh & converted it to kilos. Tell me again what height you are, please. It seems so low to me.
Hi Cate, thanks, sorry, I don't mean to be looking for attention lol I love all your care, but I also just use here to voice my internal thoughts and sometimes I think they come out so messed up. So don't mind me sometimes...it's just the hair loss has picked up and I am not quite sure what to do. It messes with my head.
I am 5ft tall, currently 51kg and want to get to 47kg.
So according to BMI, the lowest I can go and not be underweight is 43kg.
Ive been at that weight before and don't look underweight...but i understand your concern...I have like broad shoulders and a wide frame so I'd never look underweight at 105lbs and it wouldn't be that way with the BMI scale either.
misty22
Well-known member
CW: I'm still in the 113s....
Today I was looking at my thunder thighs...ugh. Anyways, I am thankful to be at this weight regardless. I just need to keep going consistently and manage my calories and exercise and hoping to get down to 110llbs by end of next week. I may go out for a walk to sort of get my head together, it's been a while. I've been indoors for the most part. When I don't feel good about my weight and hair I don't want 'to be seen'.
Today i need to work on:
- resume
- getting three apps out
- 1 to 2 hours of online studying
CW: 113lbs
TW: 110lbs
Today I was looking at my thunder thighs...ugh. Anyways, I am thankful to be at this weight regardless. I just need to keep going consistently and manage my calories and exercise and hoping to get down to 110llbs by end of next week. I may go out for a walk to sort of get my head together, it's been a while. I've been indoors for the most part. When I don't feel good about my weight and hair I don't want 'to be seen'.
Today i need to work on:
- resume
- getting three apps out
- 1 to 2 hours of online studying
CW: 113lbs
TW: 110lbs
misty22
Well-known member
I did! It was a good break, hope you're well Cate xoxo
Cate
Forum auntie
I’m glad you went. I’m good thanks xo
misty22
Well-known member
I'm having some anxiety around everything today, particularly jobs. I don't enjoy any of this but maybe I should make a game of it. I'm probably going to get out for a walk. I got asked out so I will probably go out, dude isn't really my type but friendly. I don't know what I am doing anymore, with anything.
CW: 112.4lbs
TW: 110lbs by EOW
CW: 112.4lbs
TW: 110lbs by EOW
misty22
Well-known member
Thanks Cate, you're right...I'll let you know how it goes, going out on Wed. Things have started opening up so we may be able to hit a patio.
I put on a summer dress today and I looked...too big. I don't know how else to say it, I looked fat. Anyways, I have 7 more lbs to go in total. It's going to be ok.