Weight Loss Diary 2017 - Goal 1-0-5

118.2lbs - I had a warm breakfast today with egg and a bagel, I was just craving it. I'm at 350 calories so far by lunch time, just need to balance out the rest of the day. I miss days where I could work this off at the gym. This pandemic feels endless...
 
I'm frustrated with my weight, I have been stuck in the same range for a while and I've picked up the exercise. Anyways, just frustrated, maybe today I take a self-care day.

CW: 118.4lbs
 
That sounds like a very good idea. :grouphug: from me.

Thank you, Cate. I totally didn't do much yesterday. I went out and did like a 15K step walk (approx 12km).

I'm feeling frustrated with my weight, it looks like I'm getting tighter (likely muscle) but I'm 119.4lbs today. It's so frustrating with PCOS. Anyways, just venting.

Need more structure with food. I think I'm just going to stick with a meal plan - 3 meals a day and a celery juice or detox smoothie at least once a day.

This is what I had today for breakfast and lunch:

1 celery juice. 10 cals
1/2 banana 50 cals

Carrots and hummus 180 cals
1/2 coffee 15 cals
1 cup of yogurt 90 cals

Total: 345 calories

Will have a smoothie and a chicken salad for dinner. I'm going to cut off eating by 7pm tonight.

Edit: Looking at this list, I'm doing a lot of high-sugar foods...so maybe lower sugar veggies and fruit.
 
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I was SO stressed about gaining weight and the job that I overate yesterday and weighed in at 121lbs today. Even I cannot believe myself.
And that's how easy it is to gain weight on PCOS, I gained 3lbs in a day. Argh.

Okay so now that I am mad and so over myself, I am going to work harder to shed these crummy 16lbs off.
 
119.2lbs...will keep chugging. I'm cleaning up my diet, which is good. My fridge is looking more like it used to pre-pandemic, withe more of the good stuff.

I've started celery juicing and today I had a detox smoothie, which didn't taste bad.

I'm still struggling with the coffee - it's been a coping mechanism for me for so long and being unemployed it's like a source of happiness and comfort (it's weird to say). I have tried various substitutions and none of them compare...green tea, black tea, decaf coffee, some more I can't remember...what do I do. It is an addiction...maybe hypnosis?
 
CW: 118.8lbs

Only a 2lb loss this month...but on my way. Going to keep going.

I've had my bad days and good days. Since last week, my depression has been on the rise. I haven't been putting in the time at my volunteer job, I feel lost in the job search, and my body is still out of whack in a pandemic that is so isolating. One of my friends who I chatted with regularly has found work and that is keeping her busy and the friend I normally take walks with, it's raining for two weeks straight so I haven't seen her. I got off all the dating apps because I didn't feel like talking to strange men who are only after sex.

I'll be seeing family next week for a bit but even that's stressful b/c the situation at home always is. Have a couple phone interviews lined up but they're smaller companies and I doubt they'd match what I was making two jobs ago. I may take up a bridge job, I really don't know. I feel a bit down and zoned out, I don't know how else to describe it.

Anyways, I must keep going, because if I don't ...this unemployment phase will only be stretched out and longer.

Target weight next week: 116lbs
 
I hope you get a job soon, Misty & will keep my fingers crossed for you xoxo

Thanks so much, I need all the prayers I can get!

I've been thinking a lot about 40. It's coming up in a few years. And I'm trying to leverage it to start major life goals and to be more fearless. It scares the shit out of me though, you know, thought I'd have reached a certain level in my career with a family, kids and all. Didn't anticipate getting chronically ill for 4 years, having PCOS and didn't anticipate a pandemic. The scary thing is it could get so much worse from here. So I am thankful for what I have, even it's not where I want to be right now.

But like I said, sort of letting the cloud of turning 40 push me into pushing aside fear and doing things I need to do. I am pushing myself to put myself out there in the job search. I have a lot of fears around money and they seem to be manifesting and I need to get a handle on it. My girlfriend keeps talking about retirement and every time I'm with her, it scares me. Retirement scares me. Being alone scares me. Not having children scares me. And yet I hate the fear. I hate that it hangs over me. So I'm trying to leverage it to take action vs being paralyzed by it. I'm ok with things happening later for me, as long as they happen.
 
Weight has been sticking at 119/120 lbs - it could be water retention and I've had a few high sodium foods.
Let's see how I pan out by the weekend, my exercise has been consistent so I need to focus on food intake.
 
I don't know why but I've not been regular the past two days, it is weird. I ate eggs...which i haven't in a long time, I wonder if that's it?
Anyways, TMI but I'm at 119.2lbs but feel I'm probably lower. Need to get more fibre in.
 
I think I'm at 117lbs still, hard to tell with the analog scale I have at the moment...

The job search is frustrating me. I'm getting interviews at smaller companies but the pay is also smaller. Like 50% less than what I was making almost, and that is too low for an expensive city like Toronto. Switching industries is always so tough. I'm debating taking a bridge job but also thinking maybe I need to approach the job search differently than how I have been...
 
117.8lbs

I've decided to cut myself some slack with the coffee. As long as I don't go over a cup I feel I'm ok. I am also thinking of getting a keurig vs wasting money on buying coffee from outside. That way I can buy non dairy milks and use them easily too. Options are limited at my local cafe.

I'm hoping to lose 3-4 lbs more this month. I think I could hit 113lbs if I tried. That would bring me to my weight at the start of quarantine, around 112/ 113. I also look heavy at anything above 112. It's annoying being short.
 
117.2lbs

Potentially have a date on Thurs - not too keen on the gentleman, feel we are different people but one walk is ok. Worried about my weight when I meet people, I fluctuate in weight so much that I have pics up ranging from 112lbs to 117lbs. I think people anticipate I am slimmer in real life.

I have pretty much given up on giving up coffee. I allow myself one 1/2 to one cup a day. I'm going to start incorporating more celery juice today. Thinking of a two-day juice cleanse.

I'll need new pics, I'm thinking that when I hit 108lbs (9 lbs to go) - I will take new pics and use them for my dating profile. 9lbs seems so far away when I seem to be losing 1lb/ 2 weeks.
 
A walking date? Now, that sounds interesting. I like the idea. If a few pounds makes a difference to someone then that someone is not worth worrying about. I'm sure you're lovely just as you are. I hope he's nice.
 
A walking date? Now, that sounds interesting. I like the idea. If a few pounds makes a difference to someone then that someone is not worth worrying about. I'm sure you're lovely just as you are. I hope he's nice.

Thanks for the reminder, Cate! It's true. Yes because we are in lockdown and restaurants and coffee shops only do takeaway, most people are doing walking dates, if they're not comfortable having someone over. I've had a few, they can be pleasant, but gets a bit boring sometimes too. I like planning dates but limited options now.

CW: 116.8lbs

8 more lbs to go...
 
115.4lbs through calorie deficit and exercise. I wonder how I'm going to maintain this, I went to bed hungry yesterday. Ugh, just need this date on Friday to be over with, I'm stressed over it. I didn't want to cancel because I've met this person before from back in the day and thought it would be rude. He could turn out to be a complete douche though, no guarantee, don't know him that well.

Anyways, I hope I can hit 112lbs for the month but I want to do it the healthy way so I'll ease up a bit on the calorie restriction. I'm also on my period so I am not sure how much water weight I am holding.

CW: 115.4lbs
End of May goal: 112lbs
End of June goal: 108lbs
End of July goal: 105lbs
 
Date actually went ok! Dude was cool. We went to a nearby beach, and the environment was great. Our beaches aren't real beaches, of course, just sand and a bit of water. But it was nice, there weren't a lot of people, we got a quiet spot, saw some fireworks, there was music, some people had bonfires going, took a nice stroll in the summer night, got a bit of PDA in and got whistled at in the process by someone riding a bike past us, lol.

Of course, this is online dating so people are seeing multiple people at the same time so no expectations. He was much older than I expected though. Like 8 - 9 years older. I asked him because he said in his profile he wasn't really 42. Also he's not a tech person, most people I date are usually in that sector.

CW: 114.8lbs
 
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