Camy's diary

Hi Camy

I have just been catching up on what has been going on for you since I last visited.

I am pleased that the gigs in Germany went so well. You have been getting some great relationship advice from Wishes and Mal too. I am sorry to hear that all your friends have gone missing for a while. These things happen to us all - it is often a coincidence of busy people leading busy lives. I am sure that they will be back soon. One good reason why we can never have enough friends and it is worth always trying to be outgoing and pleasant with new people - you never know where the next great new friend will come from.

It is true that walking for 40 minutes does not burn as many calories as swimming for 40 minutes. But the issue is that you are not well enough to swim so the comparison is between the calories burnt by walking for 40 minutes or doing nothing. Possibly the biggest single benefit is that it maintains the momentum of having some form of exercise in your life every single day. Just as you can make new habits by doing something regularly you can stop them by regularly doing nothing.

I agree with Wishes - fruit is great and I eat tons of it. It is sweet too and so much healthier than an awful lot of sweet things.

Take care
Love
Margaret
 
Thanx Omega, yeah you are right, it is just that everytime I could walk in my head I think 40 minutes walking or 20 minutes by bus and 20 minutes of extra time studying...

Today I am going to take the kids to the zoo, so that will give me plenty of walking! It is nice and sunny and life feels a little bit better. Not massively so, but a little bit.

Yesterday we also shared popcorn, so yesterday definitely was a bad food day, but I am feeling the results on me now. My tummy aches a bit and I am bloated.
So I think now I can eat well for the rest of the week. Everyone has a weak day every now and then.

So today the plan is studying, then work from 12:30 to 6:30, then studying. I am not even going to see the man, for the purpose of more studying!
Camy
 
Record facts that you need to learn - then spending the walking time listening and getting them so that you remember them. Part of studying is reading new things - part is commiting to memory. Use the walking time productively.
 
Thanx Omega, I might do that! Fortunately I am not sick anymore and I will go to the gym tomorrow again! Yipii!!! However I am looking into increasing my walking at all times, so I will try to do that and if it is nice, like today, go for long walks, while I memorize stuff!

Food of the day:
Breakfast: banana and 30 grapes
Lunch: Ham and cucumber (I know this sounds odd, but I made a hamsandwich out of 2 slices of cucumber... it actually works and is quite yummy!), some dried mango (it was the most delicious thing I have ever tried)
Snack: 1 innocent fruit smoothie and half a plastic cup of banana-peanutbutter milkshake (with fat free milk)... I made that for my little boy and there was some left over so I drank it
Dinner: 1 tin of artichokes, veg and beef soup and a ww yoghurt.

I am quite happy with my food of the day!

Exercise: I took the kids to the park and we walked quite a lot. It was nice.

Mood: I feel pretty darn betrayed by my "best" friend. Apparently she has been in london for a few days already and never called. I was worried something might have happened to her, even called her sister... now I feel stupid and betrayed. People like her make me lose my faith in mankind. Why would you pretend you were someone's best friend just to forget her the moment you went back home. Why would you never call her even if you see she left over 10 messages on your phone?
And I feel so darn stupid as well... I always think the best from everyone, think if they don't call it must be they couldn't. If they don't text, they must be broke and have no credit on their phones...
I also studied absolute 0, but tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life. A life without a best friend who is crap, and a life in which I am active and study, I get good grades, and all is good and well!
Until then... Camy
 
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Camy said:
Thanx Omega, I might do that! Fortunately I am not sick anymore and I will go to the gym tomorrow again! Yipii!!! However I am looking into increasing my walking at all times, so I will try to do that and if it is nice, like today, go for long walks, while I memorize stuff!

Food of the day:
Breakfast: banana and 30 grapes
Lunch: Ham and cucumber (I know this sounds odd, but I made a hamsandwich out of 2 slices of cucumber... it actually works and is quite yummy!), some dried mango (it was the most delicious thing I have ever tried)
Snack: 1 innocent fruit smoothie and half a plastic cup of banana-peanutbutter milkshake (with fat free milk)... I made that for my little boy and there was some left over so I drank it
Dinner: 1 tin of artichokes, veg and beef soup and a ww yoghurt.

I am quite happy with my food of the day!

Exercise: I took the kids to the park and we walked quite a lot. It was nice.

Mood: I feel pretty darn betrayed by my "best" friend. Apparently she has been in london for a few days already and never called. I was worried something might have happened to her, even called her sister... now I feel stupid and betrayed. People like her make me lose my faith in mankind. Why would you pretend you were someone's best friend just to forget her the moment you went back home. Why would you never call her even if you see she left over 10 messages on your phone?
And I feel so darn stupid as well... I always think the best from everyone, think if they don't call it must be they couldn't. If they don't text, they must be broke and have no credit on their phones...
I also studied absolute 0, but tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life. A life without a best friend who is crap, and a life in which I am active and study, I get good grades, and all is good and well!
Until then... Camy
Click to expand...

Camy,
I am sorry your friend did that.. I can kind of understand .. my ex best friend wrote :return to sender" on my letter I sent to her. It was opened, but that was it. WE have had a troubled friendship. So it was bound to happen. It just hurt so much! and I am sure you hurt so much, but you will muddle through this. You will find new friends and what not. Its not the end of the world, just a new chapter in your life with out this friend. Just dont get down as much as you might, she isnt worth it. Take care


always
natalie jo
 
Thanx Natjo,
the first day of the rest of my life is not as wonderful as I thought... I am stil down, this morning I even wondered if I could have a bit of depression going on. I feel hollow and sad, all I want to do is sleep... I feel like everything is not right. Even though most things are right, I feel that nothing is. I also feel lonely and the man is not happy with this because he is here with me, but a girl can't just have a boyfriend and nothing else. A girl needs friends and people around her... I a tryong to book myself on this trip to brussles for a 3 day jazz festival. The people I would go with (10 people from my band) have booked and paid ages ago, but I never knew of this, so I am trying to find myself a space on it. That would really cheer me up! (ETA: I just got an email saying that that break is unavailable, there are no more spaces and I won't be able to go... I just want to cry now!)

So far I have eaten an ok breakfast, an ok lunch and I even resisted a bounty (I was at the cash register about to pay for it and then backed dwn and put it back, had some sugar free chewing gum instead). I have studied 2 topics (have 2 more to go) and will go to the gym.
At least uniwise I am inching forward, and the gym will help me refresh my brains! I am going to try to do the whole nine yards (I have no clue what that means, I am guessing something football) and do elliptical, stretches and sit ups and swim.
But first I need to at least do 1 more topic!
Camy
 
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Food for the day:
Breakfast: banana and 1 nut bar
Lunch: sushi
Snacks: blueberries (50 cals), and much later a rice triangle
Dinner: 8 swedish meatballs (they were really small, the man ate about 30), cucumber and cabbage and carrot salad

Exercise:
25 minutes elliptical, first 5 minutes level 7, then the rest level 5, burned around 250 cals (that is what the machine said)
100 sit ups
20 lanes of swimming

I have new goals and new motivation:
1.) in april I would like to lose 8 pounds! I need some movement on those scales... I am having enough grief with my friend situation, I need something to look forward to and my weekly weigh in will be exactly that! Also in exactly 1 month I may be going home to see my parents. I would love to weigh 10 kg or a bit more less than last time they saw me! That would be wonderful! And my mom loves to shop so I would get new clothes!

2.) my endgoal is now 3rd of august... I mean I won't be too gutted if I don't get there in that time, but that day we are going for the latin carnival in london and I would love to show off my lovely new bod, and dance salsa without feeling people judge me.

But I need a kick in the butt and this is exactly what the new goals will be! A bit of a kick in the behind!

I am pretty sure I put on some weight this week, but it doesn't matter I am back on the exercise train... tomorrow I may go and do some elliptical again... we will see how the day goes!
Camy
 
Well, first of all the mystery of the missing girlfriend has been solved. She is angry at me (oh well, I thought so) because apparently I talked shit about her behind her back. Now I cannot swear that I didn't, but I can only remember once having said to one person that she tended to steal stuff (which she does and she never made a secret out of it either, she steals in supermarkets) and that because of that I preferred not to give her my bosses keys when I had to have someone walk their dog (and I even said that it wasn't because I was afraid she would steal in there, but she would probably be curious and go through their house and I preferred someone who would just do the job and leave again).
Other than that I cannot remember ever talking bad about her, in fact I love that girl, I think she is awesome and beautiful and ... oh well, she just txted me "I can't believe someone I considered one of my best friends would talk so much shit about me behind my back" and nothing else, so I don't even know if she is referring to that one incident or if I have said other things about her... but I honestly don't think so.
I have to say here that I talk a lot and I do talk about my friends a lot, good things and bad things, so I cannot swear I did not say negative things about her, but I really can't remember. I txted back asking for an explanation, but I am pretty sure she won't give me one... I have seen how she was when her boyfriend may or may not have had an affair (she believed the guy who told her a mio times over her boyfriend even though the guy was a known liar), so I am not expecting her to forgive me any time soon. I don't really think we will be friends again, ever, and this hurts. When I was the angry one I had the control, I could have forgiven, but she is different. She won't forgive!
I know this is totally off topic, but this is my diary right? I do not have many friends left so I had nowhere else to talk this out.
I feel pretty sick about this all... I was hungry before I got her text and now I just feel sick to my stomach. She gave me tons of support and was my gym buddy (well only for a month, but it was the month I lost most of this weight) and somehow I spoiled it. And I don't even know when and where and why!

OK I will give a full food story etc... later.
Camy
 
Not a good food and/or exercise day... I tried to feel better through food and failed miserably...
Breakfast: soft boiled egg, 1 ricecake, strawberries and kiwi
Lunch: roast chicken, peas and chips with gravy (I already got the diarrhoea from the gravy...)
Dinner: sushi (we had a sushi party), peppermint tea

Wasn't too bad, but not amazing either, I had a lot of sushi and I feel uncomfortably full!
No exercise of course, not even a lot of studying!
Camy
 
Today was my weigh in day and I am still at 145 pounds (really it is 145.5), but that is good since yesterday I weighed a pound more than today... I will never fully comprehend the logic of weight loss!

I feel much more cheerful, if my friend gets upset so quickly she can't have been that much of a friend in first place and if she was, then she will come and talk it out and we will solve it. If it had to happen it will happen, if it was not meant to happen it won't! My philosophy for this topic.

My tummy ached at night (as expected) and I had no breakfast. Won't do much sports today but I will tidy up my house (I haven't tidied for months I am ashamed to say, and it will be hard work). My room needs at least 2 or 3 hours of work on it, and then maybe the living room and the kitchen... will be a long day!! I studied until now so that is good.

I am going for dinner with 1 friend tomorrow, then to the cinema with 2 other friends on wednesday... this way I hope I won't miss H. too badly!
Camy
 
your friend sounds like an ass, maybe time to forget her. If you'r friend is dishonest enough to steal at all - be it shops or not, then you SHOULD have some serious doubts about her honesty in other areas also.
 
Food of the day:
Breakfast: nil
Lunch: french omelette with maize in it
Snack: 1 apple
Dinner: salmon, cucumber salad and normal salad, for dessert grapes and a gf cereal bar

Camy
 
Hmm... I am back to sicker... not badly sick but sicker than I was yesterday. It could be allergy related, since we cleaned and a lot of crap came into my nose and stuff. Still I am upset because I wanted to go and exercise and that won't happen now!
The man says I should go to the Dr. but they will tell me I have just a bad cold and send me away again. So unless I get a fever or so, I will just selfmedicate and try to heal myself.

Food of the day:
Breakfast: 1 apple, 5 grapes (wasn't feeling great)
Lunch: Risotto with peas and mushrooms,
Snack: peppermint tea, 1 gf shortbread cookie (trying to make me happier)
Dinner (still to be eaten): salad, maybe a fancy one, with ham and artichokes... we will see!

Tired and lazy, studied a bit but not nearly enough, bought a new book which seems to be amazing but I only allowed myself to read 1 chapter and then studied some more.
If I finally shake this constant sickness, I will study hard and I will exercise hard. I just really need to get over it! It has been a month since I haven't felt fully in shape healthwise... argh!
Camy
 
go buy some antihistamines, i tell you i almost live on them.

Saves the whole 'waking up in the morning feeling like shit' thing going on from the allergy to dust :)
 
Hi Camy

I am sorry that you have had so much trouble with your former friend.

We all come to our own conclusions about what is important and what is not important about people and we are all flawed to a greater or lesser extent. If it is not important to you that a person has a major flaw e.g. is a thief - then I think that the best course of action is not to discuss that in what could be viewed as a negative way. None of us like attention being brought to our flaws

If however that major flaw is important to you - I suggest that instead of discussing that with anyone - you seriously consider whether you should consider them to be one of your friends.

I personally would have difficulty in trusting someone that I knew to be a thief. I would therefore not consider them to be a close friend. I accept that this is biased and judgemental of me - but that is just the way that I am.

I think that an 8 pound loss is a tall order. I would not set such an aggressive target as that for myself. I often see mentioned 1.5 to 2 pounds per week - which I am sure is what you have seen and done 4 * 2 = 8. However - I also often see people say "1% of your weight per week". This calculation would give nearer 5.5 pounds. I would hate you to set a goal for yourself that you could not achieve and get demoralised by not getting there. I am currently hoping for an average of between 1 and 1.5 pounds per week for myself. Naturally I would be delighted if I got more than that though.

Take care
Love
Margaret
 
Thank you wishes and Omega,
yeah 8 pounds was just a maximal wishing goal. I don't get too frustrated when I don't get there, so don't worry.

Well my friend and I have been emailing and apparently I said many terrible things about her. I know I didn't but have neither the energy nor the will to try to find out why I am accused of this. If she believes other people before me, well then she can just do that, I am happy with the friends I have who believe me. We were only friends for a few months and I can live perfectly fine without her, It hurt in the beginning but now I am fine!

I do not remember yesterday's food (sad huh?) but I walked over 5 miles (with my lil boy, poor darilng, he was so tired), and I feel I ate the right things, so I am very happy.

Today foodwise:
Breakfast: 1/2 banana, 1/2 kiwi and 1 apple
Lunch: 1/4 cucumber and 2 bites of lamb
Snack: 150 cal icecream (which I shared with the baby)
Dinner: sushi

Exercise: walked tons through the zoo pushing 3 children in a buggy! Great arm and leg workout!!
100 sit ups
10 push ups (I am starting with them today... hopefully the number will go up)
stretching

I am quite happy with today, gotta go and study now to make it a perfect day!
Camy
 
Yeah don't want to... I think! It wasn't like terrible, I had cheese and ham for breakfast, the remainders of a happy meal (half a hamburger patty (without bread) and about 3/4 of the french fries (children's portion)) and salad for dinner. So nothing awful, but not really healthconscious either!

Today my plan was to get soooo much studying done, which I have clearly failed doing. I still have 2 hours and I will try to use them well... but I know myself, I probably won't!
The food so far has been fine, the dinner will be at a friends, I just called him and warned him that I can't eat breaded things and pasta, so he said he would boil me some potatoes... sounds yummy enough!
I have even failed to do my exercise, albeit I can still go and get that done... I might actually do, go and run for 30 minutes on the lliptical and feel better with my body if not with my soul...

Met the friend in the library and she hugged me and we talked (not about anything concerning the "fight", just normal talk) and we have decided to go for lunch on monday. it was a bit bizarre because I thought she was really angry and now I am starting to think how much was real and how much really just happened in my head. I only had 1 txt from her and 1 email and they were both not that explicit... so I may have brain-warped it and made it bigger than it actually was. I dunno... in any case I am not going to be best friends with her anymore, but it is nice to talk to her...
Food-exercise-diary will be updated later!
Camy
 
OK quick yesterday's food:
Breakfast: 1 banana, 1 kiwi
Midmorning snack: 1 nut bar
Lunch: thai red tofu curry
Dinner: a roly poly thing made of turkey, ham and cheese and salad, some pringles and 2 glasses of diet coke (predinner)
Late night: 1 tea

Not too bad... but today I will just keep to salad I think!
That is all folks! Camy
 
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