I felt really down yesterday, my first interview (with a higher pay scale) did not go well, they said I have an experience gap, which I will get over the next month or two through my volunteer work. For the second, the hours are in PST and it's a smaller company, they even asked me if I wanted to work PT - who which my response was what...no I need something FT lol
I have a couple other interview requests in my mailbox but one doesn't pay as much and the other is in cannabis - I am getting the strangest opps. Nothing feels like a fit and I wonder how long I have to hold out for paid work, and work that pays what I am worth.
Anyways, the upside of feeling like absolute crap was not eating that much and weighing in at 111.4lbs this morning. Six more lbs to go.
I was thinking about the dad of three and how he said I looked 8 - 12lbs heavier than my dating profile pics. Well now I am almost 8lbs lighter than when I met him. At 110lbs, I will have been 8lbs lighter. I don't want to see him again, there was no physical chemistry and I did not appreciate the ghosting, but yeah, kind of want to say like, take that, man.
I had a video call with someone yesterday - dad of one - dads are interesting. They are grounded...and boring. Single men tend to be way more exciting. Anyways, he was very good looking, approachable and educated and I just did not feel a connection with him. I think it was the same for him, I don't think he liked me visually. But like....geez, I am not ugly but I am no model either. In fact, he was too good looking for me. I just need a regular nerdy, quirky guy, not someone who looks modelesque. I don't think I could keep up with someone that looks perfect. It's just a different league. And leagues exist.
I'm trying not to let rejection get to me. Like job-wise or guy-wise. I don't know what the universe is preparing me for, but repeated heartbreak must be making me better in some way. I don't think it necessarily hurts less, I think it just makes you more weary of the world around you,