When Your Fat Jeans Become Your Skinny Jeans

[Laura F]

Thank you all for your comments! I will respond nicely tomorrow when I am on the computer and not my phone. I am so tired and dove into bed the second I got home tonight, but wanted to share my 5K results from today. My goal was 30:55. Final time? 30:28! That is less than a ten minute mile, which was a mini-goal. I did not feel that great about it during the actual run... It was terribly windy and thus pretty cold. I was inappropriately wearing my normal t-shirt and capris. Oops. I also decided that the best dinner choice for last night to fuel up was four beers and a quarter plate of nachoes (that, I think, amounts to a FAIL for my final test). I didn't even run the whole race, because the last mile was head first into 20 mph wind and it was too much for me. So I took a little break, but it worked out ok!!

I had other stuff to write but I can't keep my eyes open. Goodnight, all!

 

[Laura F]

You're writing style is hilarious, thanks for the story, and my sis loves Dr Pepper you even made it taste good with the 23 flavors description Haha it made me laugh

Mmm, Dr. Pepper, it’s not hard to make that sound good! Glad you enjoyed my story, it was fun to write. I don’t generally feel proud of things I write but I was proud of that one!

I'll send you thoughts to get through your next two tests! Be strong!!!

I had a pop quiz around 3:30 that day… Cannolis and pastries in the kitchen! But I ran out very quickly and didn’t look back. Thanks for the support!

I totally get your gym experience. I made the same mistake 2 months back. I would usually hit the gym after college, but that one day, I was too tired and decided to go the next morning, epic fail! But hey, that's how we learn how we work and our body works
So keep going, and good that you passed your bagel test. Ultimately it is all about how we assign those food stuff in our diary. After a point of time (read losing some weight), we cease to think of them as tasty, unavoidable food, and instead merely count the calories and are happy not eating them. I am recounting this from my past experience at losing weight, and I am hoping that it would happen to you too

I used to be so great about going to the gym in the morning, but then I switched to gym at night and homework before work at the office. SO much better in so many ways. Now that I know how my body works, I just have to remember to follow through! And it is very interesting how we shift the way we think of food after not too long. You learn what you really do crave and what you eat just because it’s there. Or you start thinking of equivalents, like how I could make my own sandwich with wheat bread, egg, cheese, etc and STILL have it be less calories than that free bagel at the office. It’s quite enlightening!

Wow! Just reading the first 2 lines of your diary really struck me, just because you're situation is so similar to mine. From everything, height/weight (i'm currently 154 lbs), to the snacking and the running!!!!
But yea, I'm going through your diary, and I just want to say keep it up!!!!!

Thanks for dropping in! I’ll have to check out your diary, too, it’s always nice to see people with similar situations. Especially people who are into running, whether they’re just beginners or doing half marathons. Good luck with your goals!

Well it's my weekend ritual.... Watching Biggest Loser online and hanging out on the Forum. Gotta go on my 55 minute jog later. Did have a bagel today, but my other weekend ritual is coffee and a bagel with the boyfriend. I think one bagel a week is a good accomplishment, since sometimes I have them Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.

Weighed in yesterday after the 5K. 150.6. I was really hoping to hit 149, as I've been close to that for the past few weeks, but no such luck. Next week! Assuming I am successful with today's run, that means next week will be 1 hour, and I will weigh in after that. I was so happy with the end result of the 5K yesterday. If I improve as much in the next one as I have been, that means I will break the thirty minute mark next time.

I'm such a girl when it comes to getting emotional while watching tv.... I love it on Biggest Loser when the winners of challenges go back to help the loser finish it up. I get a little choked up every time, haha.

 

[Laura F]

So I'm on the treadmill tonight. Plan was 55 minutes at 5.5 mph. I generally don't watch TV but someone else was at the gym already and the football game was on, so I had that in front of me. I'm chugging away easily. 25 minutes in I bump it up a tiny bit to 5.6. With ten minutes left I bump it up a tiny bit more to 5.7. Then with five minutes left I begin my usual increase of .2 every minute. I hit 5.9, 6.1, 6.3, and finally 6.5. About 15 seconds into my FINAL minute, the treadmill jumps down to 4.5 mph and my incline goes to 0 (it was only at .5, but still...) I have zero clue what happened. Either the treadmill is programmed to cool down at 1 hour (I do 5-ish minutes of walking to warm-up) or if I somehow managed to hit the cool down button without realizing it... Either way it was an annoying way to end the run. It was an awesome run other than that! Felt pretty good, other than the usual blisters. I'm in the market for some new shoes, and just got a 15% off coupon for the place that I was planning to go, so the new shoes will happen sooner rather than later. Hopefully the blisters will stop then.

Anyway, just wanted to whine a little. Shower time for me! Back to the grind.... sleep, homework, work, run, repeat.

 

[xorie]

I bet the treadmill has an auto slowdown when the time limit comes up. At the YMCA, they are all on half hour limits because of how many people use the Y, and they do the same thing. I bet there is a way around it.

Anyway, keep up the great work!

 

[Laura F]

I bet the treadmill has an auto slowdown when the time limit comes up. At the YMCA, they are all on half hour limits because of how many people use the Y, and they do the same thing. I bet there is a way around it.

Anyway, keep up the great work!

Ahh, glad someone else knew that was "normal." I thought I was at the gym for more than an hour during my last long run but I just double-checked and I stopped at 1 hour exactly. I really hope I can figure something out, guess I'll check with the leasing office (since the gym is in my apartment building). I wouldn't ever stay on that long if I knew people were waiting, but in the three years I've lived there I have seen someone have to wait a grand total of once. And I got off the treadmill for him once I realized!

 

[BikiniBound2011]

So almost in the 140s! I bet you're feeling great about that. I love Biggest Loser too. I find it very inspiring. I have been watching it since Season 8. So far this season I'm not liking how much the contestants are game-players, but I guess it makes for more entertaining TV. Do you have any faves this season? I don't really have one yet, but so far the two that stand out for me are Aaron and Ada.

 

[Laura F]

So almost in the 140s! I bet you're feeling great about that. I love Biggest Loser too. I find it very inspiring. I have been watching it since Season 8. So far this season I'm not liking how much the contestants are game-players, but I guess it makes for more entertaining TV. Do you have any faves this season? I don't really have one yet, but so far the two that stand out for me are Aaron and Ada.

I cheated and looked at the scale today (I NEVER go a whole week without looking at it!) and saw 149 and it was surprisingly much less exciting than that first time I looked at the scale and saw 151. I remember being ecstatic that day. Very weird. I think this is actually the first season of Biggest Loser I've watched, and I only watch it on the computer. I don't even know when it comes on normally! I started out watching last season's on the computer, too, but only watched the first few episodes. I remember crying during the season premiere, though.... when they had to bike a marathon and that lady couldn't finish?? So sad. Aaron is my favorite, too... one of them made me cry during this year's season premiere (I'm very much not a girl in most ways, but when it comes to getting emotional I most certainly am!) and I thought it was him but can't remember.... that's what happens when I've got the show on one half of the screen and I'm doing stuff on the other side, I can only remember things partially. I like Brendan, too, but that may only be because he's from Boston!!

I was going to write more but now it is time to work... I got distracted by looking up races online.

 

[Jesais]

Hey Laura! That's fantastic on your 5k time! Congrats!! I can't wait till I hit the 140's!!! Way to go! I just registered for a half marathon in May 2011. It's quite an aggressive goal but I reeeaallyy hope I get there! Reading entries like yours keeps me motivated!! Thanks

 

[Laura F]

Hey Laura! That's fantastic on your 5k time! Congrats!! I can't wait till I hit the 140's!!! Way to go! I just registered for a half marathon in May 2011. It's quite an aggressive goal but I reeeaallyy hope I get there! Reading entries like yours keeps me motivated!! Thanks

Thanks, I was pleasantly surprised when I saw my final time! I’m hoping to break thirty next time, whenever that may be…. Probably Halloween. But that will depend on the weather; it could be snowing or something for all I know. Congrats on registering for the half marathon, that’s exciting! Having a goal like that will keep you motivated. I’m doing a relay race in May, which is my current motivation. We haven’t gotten our running assignments yet, but the total distances range from 11.6 to 19.7 miles. That’s broken out into three legs over a 24 hour period. Gosh, I hope I don’t get stuck doing 19.7! I’m sure one of the more experienced runners will get that one, especially considering it’s not only the longest distance but also the hardest. One leg is listed as “moderate”, the other two as “very hard.” But I digress. I agree that reading about other runners is so incredibly helpful. You’ll see people who are just getting into the running routine and others who are already doing half-marathons, so no matter what your level is there’ll be people you can get inspiration from. Good luck on the training, and I’ll make sure to keep tabs on you, haha.
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I’ve been keeping track of my food intake for about two months now. I have been counting calories for a month. And yes, it has paid off; I am eating better and losing weight. But I’ve got to tell you guys, there are some days that I just hate it. I have been throwing little internal hissy fits this week, like when I’m eating the chocolate that the marketing department at my firm handed out on Monday morning and I just want to be able to eat two mini Reese’s peanut butter cups and one mini Twix and not have to think about how many calories each one is and then go online to find out. Or like ten minutes ago when I was eating chicken Florentine with penne and a roll from a delicious little Italian eatery that does not have ANY nutritional information available. As I have mentioned, I give myself one day a week where I keep track of what I’m eating but not the calories in it, and that’s a nice relief. However, that relief is very short-lived. I think the excitement over the food scale and the fun excel file has officially worn off. Anyone else who’s counting calories get like this now and then?

 

[Jesais]

Thanks, I was pleasantly surprised when I saw my final time! I?m hoping to break thirty next time, whenever that may be?. Probably Halloween. But that will depend on the weather; it could be snowing or something for all I know. Congrats on registering for the half marathon, that?s exciting! Having a goal like that will keep you motivated. I?m doing a relay race in May, which is my current motivation. We haven?t gotten our running assignments yet, but the total distances range from 11.6 to 19.7 miles. That?s broken out into three legs over a 24 hour period. Gosh, I hope I don?t get stuck doing 19.7! I?m sure one of the more experienced runners will get that one, especially considering it?s not only the longest distance but also the hardest. One leg is listed as ?moderate?, the other two as ?very hard.? But I digress. I agree that reading about other runners is so incredibly helpful. You?ll see people who are just getting into the running routine and others who are already doing half-marathons, so no matter what your level is there?ll be people you can get inspiration from. Good luck on the training, and I?ll make sure to keep tabs on you, haha.
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I?ve been keeping track of my food intake for about two months now. I have been counting calories for a month. And yes, it has paid off; I am eating better and losing weight. But I?ve got to tell you guys, there are some days that I just hate it. I have been throwing little internal hissy fits this week, like when I?m eating the chocolate that the marketing department at my firm handed out on Monday morning and I just want to be able to eat two mini Reese?s peanut butter cups and one mini Twix and not have to think about how many calories each one is and then go online to find out. Or like ten minutes ago when I was eating chicken Florentine with penne and a roll from a delicious little Italian eatery that does not have ANY nutritional information available. As I have mentioned, I give myself one day a week where I keep track of what I?m eating but not the calories in it, and that?s a nice relief. However, that relief is very short-lived. I think the excitement over the food scale and the fun excel file has officially worn off. Anyone else who?s counting calories get like this now and then?

Lol uh oh keeping tabs on me!?! Darn...guess that means no slacking for me! I guess that's a good thing!!

Thanks Laura

 

[Laura F]

Well yesterday wasn’t so great. I was pretty hungry to start out the day. Had my usual oatmeal and coffee for breakfast, and then snacked on two clementines, a yogurt, and a light string cheese before lunch. I needed some fresh air so I went for a walk at lunch. Unfortunately I also had a mad craving for grilled cheese with bacon, and since I was already out (I usually eat at my desk) I found my way to the little deli to satisfy this. They put so much cheese on that thing it’s ridiculous, as is the amount of butter they must use to grill it. But MY OH MY is it delicious. I was discussing it with boss later and apparently he also has a fondness for grilled cheese and bacon, so his mouth was watering. He was very disappointed in his turkey sandwich after hearing what I had. And then I was supposed to go to a Halloween party at my CFOs house after work…. I had to drive there, and I am a very nervous driver in the best of situations, so at night, in unfamiliar territory, things got ugly. I have a bit of an anxiety problem, and things snowballed quickly. End result was me finding a highway that I recognized and just heading home. Not the best idea considering I am still new at my job, and people expected me to be there, but I knew that I was just going to be a mess by the time I showed up (very late, of course) and would rather not show up then embarrass myself amongst all of my co-workers. The boyfriend was not home when I got there, and this is precisely the situation that causes me to eat anything and everything in sight….. anxiety + no witnesses. The first thing I did was call up my dad and chat with him, which kept me sane for a little longer. After I hung up with him I made myself two burritos (refried beans, salsa con queso, lettuce, and wheat wraps) without measuring out a single thing or even thinking about calories. Thankfully I could not have done much damage there; the refried beans are fat free. I only had time to get through half a skinny cow ice cream cup before the boyfriend got home. Thank goodness. He knows how I am, and admitted later after hearing what I ate that he was expecting to come home and have there be nothing left in the kitchen. He was pleasantly surprised. All in all could have been MUCH worse, but I know that if he hadn’t come home so soon, it would have been.

 

[Laura F]

On a positive note, I was too busy avoiding people this morning to even think about stepping foot into the kitchen. That means no bagel for me! Or fruit or oatmeal, for that matter... I did get a Starbucks beverage, though.

 

[adeon]

Hey there your still kicking butt. I have an anxiety problem too. And we are our own worst enemy when it comes to attacks. I only get anxiety driving when I'm stoned. But I can understand where your coming from with having anxiety and then trying to be social. It just doesnt work. I am very blunt and would explain to my co-workers on monday that I have anxiety and I was having a bad attack. But thats just me. They never laugh but they never take it as seriously as I do (but no one ever does right?). Anyways you are still rocking keep up the good work. And if you think about it, those bad eats you had probably just brought you up to the amount of calories you should eat in a day to maintain your weight. No biggie. Take care!

 

[Laura F]

Aww, thanks Adeon, you made me feel better! People without anxiety issues have no idea how bad things can get. I think they tend to see how irrational we get on the surface but (rightfully so) can't quite understand how we really have no control. You are exactly right, we are definitely our own worst enemy. When I am in the midst of an attack I feel incredibly embarrassed and stupid, but once I am past it I am able to recognize that it's just how my brain works and I can be honest about it with people. Thankfully I'm pretty close with my boss, and explained the situation to him. He was super nice about it, and I just sort of brushed off the question to other people who asked. Everyone just wanted to make sure I was ok. I only knew one person's phone number so I texted him so he'd know I wasn't coming, but he didn't tell anyone else. I forgot I could e-mail my boss... I don't check my work e-mail outside of work hours but forget that the higher-ups have blackberries. I showed up to work yesterday with an e-mail from the boss from the night before asking if I was ok, a post-it with his number on my desk, and thirty seconds later a visit from him making sure I was ok. Glad to know someone is looking out for me!

 

[Laura F]

Anyone remember when Devon Sawa was hot stuff? I'm channel surfing and saw him on Final Destination. I don't think he's attractive at all! But I know that I did way back in the day.

 

[BikiniBound2011]

I don't get anxiety attacks, but I hate driving to an unfamiliar place by myself, especially at night. I have a very poor sense of direction. I'm glad you got through it okay. At least it's nice to know your boss was so concerned about you.

 

[Laura F]

I don't get anxiety attacks, but I hate driving to an unfamiliar place by myself, especially at night. I have a very poor sense of direction. I'm glad you got through it okay. At least it's nice to know your boss was so concerned about you.

Be glad that you don't - they suck! I didn't recognize them for what they were for a very long time, so at least now they have a name. They're embarrassing to have in public, ugh. That was the main reason for my recent job change. I was doing taxes at a public accounting firm and getting anxiety attacks from the stress (thank goodness I didn’t decide to become a doctor or something, if I get that stressed over taxes!) I had to leave to work somewhere where I could bring my stress level DOWN. I am so happy I got home without getting into an accident, and I do feel much closer with my boss now, which is a nice positive spin to put on the incident.

Well yesterday was a good eating day. It’s nice that I can have those when I am spending most of the day by myself… that’s a recent change!

Breakfast: Coffee and a blueberry donut. Hadn’t had one in AGES, and it was much less calories than the bagel and cream cheese I usually get, so I did not feel even the slightest bit guilty about it. It was so stinkin’ good.

Lunch: Tuna salad wrap, with one can of tuna, lettuce, one serving each of relish and light miracle whip, all on a wheat wrap.

Snack: 3 clementines

Dinner: Lean Cuisine Shanghai-Style Shrimp, followed by a Skinny Cow ice cream bar and (upon realizing I had only 1175 calories for the day) an individual bag of baked potato chips.

Total Calories: 1,315

Also, I had an awesome run on the treadmill! Ran for an hour, and got in about 5.7 miles. Up until now I have been entirely focused on adding time on the treadmill, but now that I have discovered I can only go on the treadmill for an hour before it automatically cools down on me, I may shift my focus to adding distance on my long runs by increasing my speed each week. I mean, I could take a thirty second walk break in the middle of a run, stop the machine and restart it, but for now I think running an hour should be acceptable. Come spring I will absolutely need to add more time, since the minimum number of miles I will be responsible for during my relay race is 11.6. And even that includes a 5.8 mile “hard” run. My treadmill run at an incline of .5 will NOT compare to outdoor running, in mountains, possibly in the middle of the night. But the Boston winters are coming, and unless I shell out a ton of money on good cold-weather running gear, I can’t imagine getting myself out there in January to be doing 2 hour runs. But hey, who knows, one can dream about being that dedicated, right??

 

[Jesais]

I'm amazed!! I'm so impressed that you run on the treadmill for an HOUR!! Congrats Laura! I hate the treadmill I feel sooo bored on it and can never last more than like 15 minutes. I'm always impressed by ppl who can stick it out so long.

Btw sorry to hear about your panic attack. I would have turned around too. I get terrible anxiety and it just makes an already stressful situation that much worse. Glad to hear you're ok

 

[Laura F]

I'm amazed!! I'm so impressed that you run on the treadmill for an HOUR!! Congrats Laura! I hate the treadmill I feel sooo bored on it and can never last more than like 15 minutes. I'm always impressed by ppl who can stick it out so long.

Btw sorry to hear about your panic attack. I would have turned around too. I get terrible anxiety and it just makes an already stressful situation that much worse. Glad to hear you're ok

Us treadmill runners are impressed by those who can motivate themselves to run outdoors! I'm scared of having to run an hour outside, but on a treadmill I find it easy... no TV or anything I don't get outdoors as often as I should, mostly just races every month or so and the one time a week I run with my buddy. So never more than a 5k distance. It's nice to hear from people who can relate to my anxiety issues... they're tough to deal with but it's so nice to know I'm not alone!

Food today was good. Sundays usually are.

Breakfast - Coffee with an english muffin and a banana.
Snacks - More coffee, and yogurt with banana and pecans. SO delicious, have to remember this snack for later... I had to use lowfat yogurt instead of my usual fat-free though, since I bought that one on accident. It will be even healthier next time! Should bring it down to under 300 calories.
Dinner - Beef with gravy over a slice of wheat bread, mashed potatoes, and half of a big cucumber.

All in all, 1,396 calories so far. I will treat myself to a delicious skinny cow bar after the gym tonight, so grand total will be 1,496. I am happy with that!

 

[Laura F]

Despite the fact that I did not have any reason to treat myself today, I did, and am now almost done with a can of delicious Dr. Pepper. I don't think I've had one in months! I'm a little burpy right now

My kitty is headed off to a vet appointment tonight... we think she has some sort of urinary tract infection. She hasn't seemed to be in any pain or discomfort because of it, so that's been good, but we want to get that taken care of ASAP. For both her and us, her litter box is never pleasant but even less so now, UGH.