nataliejo's diary: Moving, flowing, grooving forward... change is coming...

maleficent said:
wow you're getting married? congratulations... that's exciting.

30lbs in a year is absolutely do-able...
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I hope its do-able Mal... it seems like the scale likes to jump up lol instead of staying down.

I am a little depressed lately and have not been exercising the way I was, but I have dropped below the 270s, maybe I will make a mad stroll over to the commons, chill at the commons with my fiancee and than make a mad walk home to pump the heart to the max, in total its a thirty minute walk...

hmm good idea

Thanks for writing. I have actually missed you Mal lol I should stop into your diary...

always
your friend
natalie jo :cheers2:
 
It is most definitely do-able.
Just look back and see how great you've been going so far, to keep you motivated.
I think that walk sounds like an excellent idea!

Yay!
:) Annie
 
sunnydee said:
I didn't realize you were getting married either. Congratulations! You can absolutely reach your goal of another 30 lbs by then. We'll all be here to keep encouraging you on. :)
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Thanks Sunny... its nice to see you bout.... I have missed you as well and wondering how you have been, must jump into your diary as well lol

I think the thirty pounds is also possible, if I can just relax and get this anxiety down...

my older sister is yelling at my mom and swearing at her, because she blames all her own mistakes on my mother... its crazy mad ... ugh ..and the two of them are sparring ... and my sister came down yesterday when I was chosing fabric, beautiful fabric, for my gown and cape ... and she totally bummed me out .. so there is a feud, I just hope it doesn't ruin the mood at the wedding ..its a year from now ...we will see... ugh

ttylater hun
always
your friend
natalie jo :cheers2:
 
misty22 said:
Hey you,

You're getting married next year? No way! Congrats! How did that happen?

I agree with the others, 30 lbs in a year is very do-able. :)
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Hey Misty...
Well remember those two guys that came along after Alex and I broke up, Derek was one of them. Derek and I have fallen in love. Its magical in a way. I have a couple mental disorders and they have been a tad out of control and with getting my monthly back after losing weight, pms def is hard to handle with everything on my plate. The wedding plans are in the center now, with bills that I have acrued over the years. but he is so understanding, so sweet and love me for me. He loves me the way I am and has vowwed to be positive and help me lose the weight and he is helping, we take walks together. He is shorter than me, and I walk ahead of him, but he doesnt seem to mind ..

anyway its nice to have someone who understands and celebrates me and all my faults and plusses..

always
your friend
natalie jo :seeya:
 
Lilyofthevalley said:
It is most definitely do-able.
Just look back and see how great you've been going so far, to keep you motivated.
I think that walk sounds like an excellent idea!

Yay!
:) Annie
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Thanks Annie...
Your support is a plus. With all my anxiety, ugh ...

I will also have to drop myself off at your diary and Misty's as well ..

thanks so much for your positivity and belief in me :)

always
your friend
natalie jo :seeya:
 
maleficent said:
If you're keeping track of calories in any online program - make note of the vitamin B and Magnesium as nutrients -both of those can help to regulate the symptoms of pms..
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Hiya Mal,
Thanks for the suggestion. Definitely will look into it. I am going to walk to Walgreens tomorrow and
I will talk to them about the Vit B and the magnesium.

I am already having symptoms. My gland in my left arm is swollen, which means in two weeks I will be on the rag. And the weight is already starting to pack on. Its like this back and forth situation. Taking a short, but fast walk today... its 4:03am here. Cant sleep, too much stress. ... u know

ttylater
always
your friend
natalie jo
 
Hello everyone,
Well I am excited I have such a wonderful and understanding fiancee. But my mother and older sister are feuding and I am starting the old habit out of eating from anxiety. I can't handle much right now. and I was so happy with my picking out fabric for my dress and cape...and than my sister came to visit and I felt her hostility and saddness and since than I have been depressed ...

any suggestion peeps. I know we have all been through this, but this thing between my sister and my mother is getting ridiculous. Its actually all my sister. My little sister and I talked, we have forgiven our mother. She has changed over the past two decades of our lives. She is a different person than she was back than. The woman was going through menopause and had borderline. So I can understand fully. She used to manipulate us to the point of driving us crazy. But lizzy and I have found our paths and we are doing, but I guess Joanna is way back there, and still resentful. but my mom is my rock! Sometimes just talking with her makes me feel better. She is my bright and shining star now. I dont know, she has changed into a beautiful mother and my little sister and I, see that Joanna doesnt see that. Joanna hasnt seen mom or knows mom for who she is today and its sad, because she would be developing a beautiful mother/daughter relationship, if only she could open up her eyes and listen to us.

Anyway as far as weight, I am back up to 273... I ate tonight out of stress. And the indigestion is mad crazy. I took some zantac, but still the indigestion is bugging me. I can't sleep, because I am so stressed. I don't know what to do. Maybe I should just wear myself out until I fall into a slumber. I feel bad, because I think I am keeping my fiancee up .. oy vey ..

anyway tomorrow I am walking for thirty minutes, high powered walk, get the heart going. Doing this early in the morning. Get the metabolism going early, around ten am. Can't get my bf out any earlier and I enjoy walking with him. He is taking time off from karate to spend time with me and help me get through everything that is going on in my life right now.

well ttylater lovies

always
your friend
natalie jo :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:
 
hey! When did he ask you??? This is the first metion we get!

anyway, sending you love and hugs, as I have no advice for stress eating, been doing it myself since moving out 1 week ago... Just keep trying I guess!

Mwhaa!
 
Ankebuzz said:
hey! When did he ask you??? This is the first metion we get!

anyway, sending you love and hugs, as I have no advice for stress eating, been doing it myself since moving out 1 week ago... Just keep trying I guess!

Mwhaa!
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Hiya Anke,

I am finally getting control over the eating at night once again. I only ate a banana last night and the rest of the night I chewed on my mouth gaurd. We will have to get a new mouth gaurd for me, because I am doing some major damage to it. At least I can sleep now, but it is getting so damaged, that even with the gaurd on, it hurts. So a new gaurd is in order. I will just have to mold it as my mouth piece.

Which its actually very simple to do.



ttylater and thanks for dropping in ..
always
and hugs and love
natalie jo :party:
 
I've been bad!

Hello everyone,
I have been bad!! Touching chocolate milk, and making it into hot cocoa, bad me!! but the cocoa is gone just about and I am giving it to my soon to be hubby...I think he needs it more than I do. He comes from Kentucky and wants an electric blanket on lol .. I am not going to let him put one on, unless I am freezing my bippy off lol

But onto exercise. We walked the peach, plum and apple fields. Went picking with my mom. Wow do I have a lot of good fruit. The plums are fresh and taste so good, ate a couple off the vine, yummy!!!!!!!!!!

and the peaches are delicious. So they keep, we are putting them in the freezer and will pour boiling water over them to crack the peel and eat it that way. I guess thats how you freeze peaches. My grandmother told my mother and therefore it came to me lol

Anyway today I am taking a walk with my fiance and than we are going to snuggle up and read.

I am reading the Weatzie Bat books and he is reading the Faire Wars ..
I will be reading the Fairie wars too, but first Weetzie Bat. We read a lot, especially him. He is such a fast reader. There were four or are four books to the Fairie books and he has two more books to go and he is done ...lol...

oh well

well ttylater everyone
love yas
always
your friend
natalie jo :driving:
 
Ah, we're all bad sometimes, hon, I tend to think of it not as cheating on your diet, but rather, assuring your sanity.

I have that book, Faerie wars, somewhere. I haven't read it. I got it before vacation and didn't do much reading at the beach. :p

I hope things are going well otherwise for you! I would also like to know like, when he asked and stuff :)

Exciting stuff!

<3 Annie
 
It's really nice to see you happy Nat Jo :)

Don't worry about the binges, just think, now I gotta do the best I can to make this weight loss commitment come through. Look forward, not back.
 
Lilyofthevalley said:
Ah, we're all bad sometimes, hon, I tend to think of it not as cheating on your diet, but rather, assuring your sanity.

I have that book, Faerie wars, somewhere. I haven't read it. I got it before vacation and didn't do much reading at the beach. :p

I hope things are going well otherwise for you! I would also like to know like, when he asked and stuff :)

Exciting stuff!

<3 Annie
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Hiya Annie,
We were both staring into each others eyes on the bed. And I just felt this incredible feeling of belonging instantly, like he did. It was incredible. And he told me I was a root to him. He doesnt have much family. He has the dojo as his family, and they are all invited to the wedding, because they pretty much raised him. His mother died early and his father didn't respond very well to him. His sister is mean, I mean she is terrible. She even asked me "Why are you with him? What do you see in him?"

And she asked it in front of him and so abruptly.

He is so sweet. He says if he had all the money in the world he would spend it all on me. What he does have he ends up spending it on me. When I self harm myself or try to, he stops me. Last time I did harm, he held my arm and my blood ended up on his chest, my honey bear chest and he said I was the root to him and every time I do self harm, he feels every cut...

that was an incredible night

anyway a couple days later, we were just staring into each others eyes and I just knew he was the one. So corageous, so beautiful, so caring, so adamant in motivating me to live my life to the fullest, helping me along my travels, include the ugly times. Vowing to always be near, we just stared into each others eyes and I asked him if I he would marry me and he said yes. So a couple days later, we picked up the engagement ring. And I have had it on my finger since and he kisses my hand and kisses the ring. I haven't cut for a week. Its been incredible. I feel so comfy with me. He has me swooning lol

and he is real. He is definitely real. Everytime a relationship has ended I would say.. "I thought he was real" but never felt it, but with Derek, I feel it and know it with all my heart and all my soul, he is definitely real and all mine lol

The books are good Derek told me. You may want to read it when time is available... are you in school?

or do you have the summer off?

love yas
always
your friend
natalie jo :cheers2:
 
misty22 said:
It's really nice to see you happy Nat Jo :)

Don't worry about the binges, just think, now I gotta do the best I can to make this weight loss commitment come through. Look forward, not back.
Click to expand...

Misty,
You are right. I need to look forward, instead of backward. The past is the past, can't be redone, but I can take control and hit the pavement and do my dance aerobics.

btw I love your quote!! Its so true!!

love yas hun
always
your friend
natalie jo :cheers2:
 
Later today...

Later today I plan on going for a small walk. I seem to take my time. But I love the fall and will enjoy it quite a bit.

I will try to get to diaries soon!

love yas all
always
your friend
natalie jo :cheers2:
 
Hello Everyone,
Well Derek and I went for a thirty minute walk and I sped walk. My back hurt, lower back, the muscles and the muscles in my upper thighs and hip and my upper back hurt from swinging my arms so high. I feel refreshed. Right now Derek is making Starbucks black tea in an arizona container and in another the Starbucks Refresh Mint Caffiene free tea. So black tea and Mint are on there way and they are very refreshing .. yum!! I am drinking more ice water, Which is a definite good choice.

Derek bought me a fleetwood mac disc, best hits, you know the double disc.

and our song, which is wierd, is the new Jason Mraz song.

He was thinking of me when he heard it and I would think of him. And we showed each other the song and realized it was the same song. So that will be our first wedding dance for the bride and groom. Yea!! We have our song.

We are doing a contume party for our wedding. I am dressing up as a maiden from the medieval times and we are making him a tufted shirt with clips in the front ... He will be my druid prince and I will be his Maiden. And than we are going to have hopefully Peter do the ceremony. Thats Derek's best man. And Lizzy and Joanna are going to be my maid of honors. It will be neat!! Its actually happening Oct. 24th, 2009. That is a definite date as far as we know. Jackolaterns, candy goody bags. My mom and I are preparing it. It will be neat. We are getting wed in the gazeebo in the park, on the side of the park. I will walk up the stairs by myself. No one will be giving me away. And I plan to walk up to my beautiful prince and marry him. He calls me his princess and I call him my "honey teddy bear" and he calls me his "pudgy little bumble bee" lmao

I love it!!

ttylater folks ..
love yas
always
your friend
natalie jo :cheers2:
 
Actually Sunny, um... we kind of changed our minds. It would be too cold for a party at night at the gazeebo. It would be held outside. So we are going with September 20th, 2009..

and it will be during the morning hours at the Gazeebo.
And we will have Peter be the best man and the man who will command the ceremony. Derek knows Peter from karate... he has known him I think for twenty years. Long time.

I will be wearing a lovely medieval dress and Derek will still be wearing his medieval shirt ...and we will both be wearing capes. The capes are picked out already, we just need to buy the material...

I love my engagement ring. Its absolutely beautiful...

I feel good...
we took a small walk to the library, it ended up being rather warm...
I am reading the Weetzie Bat book: Dangerous Angels

its a really good book ...

well ttylater Sunny!
ttylater everyone!
love yas
always
your friend
natalie jo :seeya:
 
I think it would still be rather glorious!

Good for you, reading and walking and such! I hope you have many more walks with your "honey teddy bear" in the future. :)

Good luck with the wedding. I know it'll be great! Be sure to post a picture of you and Derek in wedding attire, I'd love to see you two!

:D
Annie:waving:
 
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