nataliejo's diary: Moving, flowing, grooving forward... change is coming...
- Thread starter nataliejo
- Start date
misty22
Well-known member
Hey Nat,
I am glad to see you back. Depression is hard to deal with, I know, it consumes you. But remember that each and every day you have is precious and it is up to you to make the best of it. Don't let those negative feelings get the best of you- try to make yourself happy- because you deserve to be happy!!
Anyways, I'm super glad you are back, missed you around here. 2009 is soon approaching. Any big plans besides the wedding?
I am glad to see you back. Depression is hard to deal with, I know, it consumes you. But remember that each and every day you have is precious and it is up to you to make the best of it. Don't let those negative feelings get the best of you- try to make yourself happy- because you deserve to be happy!!
Anyways, I'm super glad you are back, missed you around here. 2009 is soon approaching. Any big plans besides the wedding?
nataliejo
New member
What a brilliant idea, exercising in your apartment complex! I hope you find your neighbors to be an encouragement to you. I can just picture you marching with your weights, chuckling to yourself and grinning at folks!
Cheers
ABBA
Thanks Janice!
It is kind of funny... The cat is actually losing weight lol. She walks with me through the complex. Its kind of silly. My cat is overweight. She used to weigh 20 pounds, now she weighs 16!
She is looking good. They had said if she didnt' lose weight, she might get diabeties. And than there would be insulin, which I can't afford. So I vowwed to myself that she and I would both lose weight. So far I have gained and she has lost considerable weight, but at least my cat will live a long life. Now it is my turn to gear up the metabolism. So I am going walking today after my appt with the arthritic doctor.
Ttylater hun
love yas
always
natalie jo
nataliejo
New member
Hey Misty,
thanks so much for your advice. Sometimes one needs to hear that, about the depression. I have let it rule my life this summer and winter. I bought a sun lamp, which is helping.
I plan to walk tomorrow. We are walking to the grocery store and going food shopping. We have nothing in the house, finally bought milk at the store at the corner yesterday. Now I can have my yogurt bran cereal... whoot whoot!!
but my plans are to lose weight. and keep on trecking. Time to listen to my own advice, u know?
anyway ttylater hun
love yas
always
natalie jo
nataliejo
New member
Hello all,
So I looked at the scale this morning. ITs a new start for 2009... a brand new year and another start to more weight loss, successful weight loss.
I weight 273.4 pounds. I am not going to cry over it anymore. I am going to do something about it.
I have been crying, been depressed over my weight gain, now its time for me to take some amount of control... the depression will be there, but the endorphins usually kick in when I go for a fast pace walk. It can be difficult to go out during a really cold day, when the wind kicks in your face. But I have scarfs and what not, so time to go out and work this body. And at night I will use the weight to get my arms and back, and my body back in shape..
love you all
natalie jo
misty22
Well-known member
NatalieJo,
Good for your for making a decision to NOT cry and DO something about moving yourself from "sad" to "happy". I'm with you. We can so do this. It is in us. If it weren't in us to do it we would have given up a long time ago. But that fact that you are here on this forum, and that you have the will and the courage to walk in the winter is a testament that YOU CAN LOSE THE WEIGHT!!!!
Give it your best shot!
Good for your for making a decision to NOT cry and DO something about moving yourself from "sad" to "happy". I'm with you. We can so do this. It is in us. If it weren't in us to do it we would have given up a long time ago. But that fact that you are here on this forum, and that you have the will and the courage to walk in the winter is a testament that YOU CAN LOSE THE WEIGHT!!!!
Give it your best shot!
nataliejo
New member
Thanks Misty!
I haven't been so good in getting out. I have a problem with my hands and ankles, mainly my feet. It happens to do with arthritis, my feet are blue most of the time, or very white, or very pink. Needless to say I am on 1000mg of Naproxen, which isn't sitting well with my stomach. So I am taking 1/3 the amount. Its a blood thinner.
I hope it works, otherwise I will be back on the gold. Gold might make me gain weight.
But I am going to go for a walk tomorrow. Going to go to the library tomorrow. and I am going to meet my man at the Walgreens down a ways. He will be coming home from work. So I will get some walking in and I might just walk to the commons and watch the snow fall! because I love winter.
ttylater hun
love yas
natalie jo
nataliejo
New member
Here's to a wonderful New Year, my friend! You are so wise in how you are approaching your depression. Those endorphins will be a tremendous help!
All the best in 2009
Janice
Hey Janice,
Thanks for your words of wisdom...
Endorphins do help with the seasonal depression, and I need to get to some more walking every day. I haven't been very positive either. I have been very negative toward myself. I am feeling a little better tonight. If I really go to the commons tomorrow, I will have made my day!!
love yas
always
natalie jo
nataliejo
New member
Hello everyone,
So I went to the arthritic doctor. And my feet were ice cold and blue as ever. My diabeties has gotten worse, but due to the last few days of change in diet, I have gotten a webit better. No ice crystals coming out of my eyes, etc.
But I kind of get it now. If I don't do this now, I never will. And I am just counting down the days until I die. Wasting away with suger happy stuff, dieing. Literally letting myself die.
But I am taking a walk tomorrow to the commons, fast paced, or as fast as I can with snow flying. I went for a tiny walk today, but not speed of walking. Wrong speed. I just take my time when
I walk, but I am going to be by myself tomorrow and I am going to go walking during the day. Yesterday was odd. It snowed while the sun shinned lol. It was fing awesome. I was enjoying the beautiful sun.
Today I stopped on our way home and I watched the sun high in the sky and just thought how lucky I am. To have this life. But I only get one chance to live it. And I want to be healthy and live it the way I have always dreamed to. I don't want to be a twig.
I was thinking of reaching my goal and putting my pic in for this site called Domai. It takes real women and puts them in artful poses. Yes its nude, but maybe I can do this. They have had girls with ripples under there arms. Etc. So they don't play exclusive to thin women. They have women with stomachs, etc.
Its a nice goal. We will see, but I am wanting to look good naked lol my beautiful man thinks I look good naked, but everyday I look in the mirror I see the weight I have gained back and just want to cry. But I figure the best way not to go stir crazy in this house, and not to die so early in time, is to move. So tomorrow, the commons and than at 7pm, meeting my wonderful man at the
Walgreens up the streets and that will be a good walk all together. And than we walk my little pudgy cat, who has lost more weight than I have since this summer. She was a 20 pound cat, and now is a 16 pound cat. But she still looks big, because of the hanging skin. but she is getting more coordination, friskier and doing much better, now I need to follow suit. But I do walk down the halls some odd days with my two pound weights.
so I am definitely in this for real!!
love yas
always
natalie jo
So I went to the arthritic doctor. And my feet were ice cold and blue as ever. My diabeties has gotten worse, but due to the last few days of change in diet, I have gotten a webit better. No ice crystals coming out of my eyes, etc.
But I kind of get it now. If I don't do this now, I never will. And I am just counting down the days until I die. Wasting away with suger happy stuff, dieing. Literally letting myself die.
But I am taking a walk tomorrow to the commons, fast paced, or as fast as I can with snow flying. I went for a tiny walk today, but not speed of walking. Wrong speed. I just take my time when
I walk, but I am going to be by myself tomorrow and I am going to go walking during the day. Yesterday was odd. It snowed while the sun shinned lol. It was fing awesome. I was enjoying the beautiful sun.
Today I stopped on our way home and I watched the sun high in the sky and just thought how lucky I am. To have this life. But I only get one chance to live it. And I want to be healthy and live it the way I have always dreamed to. I don't want to be a twig.
I was thinking of reaching my goal and putting my pic in for this site called Domai. It takes real women and puts them in artful poses. Yes its nude, but maybe I can do this. They have had girls with ripples under there arms. Etc. So they don't play exclusive to thin women. They have women with stomachs, etc.
Its a nice goal. We will see, but I am wanting to look good naked lol my beautiful man thinks I look good naked, but everyday I look in the mirror I see the weight I have gained back and just want to cry. But I figure the best way not to go stir crazy in this house, and not to die so early in time, is to move. So tomorrow, the commons and than at 7pm, meeting my wonderful man at the
Walgreens up the streets and that will be a good walk all together. And than we walk my little pudgy cat, who has lost more weight than I have since this summer. She was a 20 pound cat, and now is a 16 pound cat. But she still looks big, because of the hanging skin. but she is getting more coordination, friskier and doing much better, now I need to follow suit. But I do walk down the halls some odd days with my two pound weights.
so I am definitely in this for real!!
love yas
always
natalie jo
Happychubette
Banned
Hi Natalie Jo, just saw your name in the diary section and I'm popping in to say hi. Its that time of year when its easy to become destabilized but you are doing all the right things. I have bp as well as you, remember? Don't punish yourself if the weather isn't conducive to good walking. It sounds pretty cold there. Typically I burn myself out TRYING to lose weight and exercise like a fool this time of year and end up getting sick, but so far so good... Take care and eat your veggies! Kelly
misty22
Well-known member
Hey Nat,
I hope you begin to feel better soon, blue hands and feet sounds horrible.
The best way to go about it is to take it a day at a time. That is what I have been doing and I think it's one of the things that works well.
Keep up the good work Nat! You are a trooper! Love you~
- Misty
I hope you begin to feel better soon, blue hands and feet sounds horrible.
The best way to go about it is to take it a day at a time. That is what I have been doing and I think it's one of the things that works well.
Keep up the good work Nat! You are a trooper! Love you~
- Misty
nataliejo
New member
Thanks Kelly...
I walked to the library, which takes all of ten minutes lol I met my man and we walked around. But mainly the work out was at night. Went up and down the three flights of stairs using two pound weights.
Tomorrow I hope to go on a thirty minute walk alone. I hope.. lol
ttylater
thanks for stopping in
always
love yas
natalie jo
nataliejo
New member
Hiya Misty,
Well the blue feet aren't so blue after exercise and plenty of hard circulation. There is also two pairs of socks that keep my feet nice and whitish pink. Healthy. I wear them during sleep and around the house. Sometimes I wear them going out. They are mainly slippers, but they work.
My main problem is I haven't had any circulation going through my body really. I haven't been walking fast when I do walk, I just stroll... strolling won't get the blood really pumping through these arteries and veins. So tomorrow I am hoping, either with man or not, I will be walking, speed wise, ten minutes of fast heart rate... I know I can do it, I just hope I do it lol
Need to think positive, when I have let myself down so much, but like you said, one day at a time!
love yas
natalie jo
nataliejo
New member
Ive heard "Today is the Day!"
but to you who read this, is Today really the day. It wasnt mine lmao, but I did some weight dancing. Ok I used a step aerobic pad and used two pound weights per arm. I have this social anxiety now. I don't really know what is up. I know I am annoyyed with the people of Rochester, which is where I live now, in New Hampshire... people can be really mean, the insults just hit me below the belt, but I have finally reached the moment of many moments where I can say "f' them all!"'
I just read today is the day on a thread in the new forum, from someone I think that was here before. In a book I read, that is "all or nothing thinking", which is obviously not quite a good thing, because we all know we fall of the wagon a points, mostly plateau points... humph...
but seriously Today is a moment of many days, that we will make choices... many choices and whether you make the right ones, is all up to you. Right?
I made some bad choices last night. I can't sleep unless I stuff myself. I tried all night long to just ignore the pain in my stomach, but it was like the food was calling me, and I have no clue how to stop this "need", that shouldn't be a need... I don't know how to stop it!
Does anyone know how to stop binging and night eating? if anyone has an inkling, please write? because every afternoon I wake up wishing I could be wonder woman, she had the hips! lol, and not eat and not have eaten at night. The diabetic book said to have many small portioned out meals. Like five I think. I have no idea where to start with that, my day is so erratic, I guess like my life. Its a mess.
but I did finally let Derek go to black belt night. I have kept him from his karate for two whole months and other months inbetween. He says I am more important, but I should let him have his time off from me, as I should be free to do what I wish...
but I guess I dont know what I wish to do. And I cant afford much of anything, but I am investing in some eight pound weights. Good stuff and maybe some walking weights, the ones that go around your ankle. I have to beat this weight, this diabeties, this arthritis. I have finally gone to the doctor and now we are putting me on meds to make the pain in control, so I wont have so much inflamation in the joints. Maybe my leg won't be a heavy rock to lift, because it hurts too much to stand on. Yesterday I was walking kind of on one leg, just dragging the other and lifting it up and leaning on my left. I was much saddenned by my dilemma, but the doctor now believes I have arthritis, my sed rate was up. She checked out the x- rays. I will refuse steroids. I will not gain the weight back. I might become sensitive to the sun, many of these meds do that. So I shall have to wear something on my head to keep the sun away from my eyes and face. I will have to wear darker short sleave shirts on sunny days in spring and summer. I will have to beware of the sun. Even more so than others, but as long as I can treck along and be happy that I can move and not limp along because of this damn disease, the happier I will be...
So it didn't start today, I guess it started this summer when I decided somehow I was going to pick up my health once again after fifteen years. pick it up fast, before I die. I want to evolve into a strong person. Remember what Darwin said ... hmm yea Darwin ... it goes way back to that long ago ..lol
ttylater all
love yas
natalie jo
but to you who read this, is Today really the day. It wasnt mine lmao, but I did some weight dancing. Ok I used a step aerobic pad and used two pound weights per arm. I have this social anxiety now. I don't really know what is up. I know I am annoyyed with the people of Rochester, which is where I live now, in New Hampshire... people can be really mean, the insults just hit me below the belt, but I have finally reached the moment of many moments where I can say "f' them all!"'
I just read today is the day on a thread in the new forum, from someone I think that was here before. In a book I read, that is "all or nothing thinking", which is obviously not quite a good thing, because we all know we fall of the wagon a points, mostly plateau points... humph...
but seriously Today is a moment of many days, that we will make choices... many choices and whether you make the right ones, is all up to you. Right?
I made some bad choices last night. I can't sleep unless I stuff myself. I tried all night long to just ignore the pain in my stomach, but it was like the food was calling me, and I have no clue how to stop this "need", that shouldn't be a need... I don't know how to stop it!
Does anyone know how to stop binging and night eating? if anyone has an inkling, please write? because every afternoon I wake up wishing I could be wonder woman, she had the hips! lol, and not eat and not have eaten at night. The diabetic book said to have many small portioned out meals. Like five I think. I have no idea where to start with that, my day is so erratic, I guess like my life. Its a mess.
but I did finally let Derek go to black belt night. I have kept him from his karate for two whole months and other months inbetween. He says I am more important, but I should let him have his time off from me, as I should be free to do what I wish...
but I guess I dont know what I wish to do. And I cant afford much of anything, but I am investing in some eight pound weights. Good stuff and maybe some walking weights, the ones that go around your ankle. I have to beat this weight, this diabeties, this arthritis. I have finally gone to the doctor and now we are putting me on meds to make the pain in control, so I wont have so much inflamation in the joints. Maybe my leg won't be a heavy rock to lift, because it hurts too much to stand on. Yesterday I was walking kind of on one leg, just dragging the other and lifting it up and leaning on my left. I was much saddenned by my dilemma, but the doctor now believes I have arthritis, my sed rate was up. She checked out the x- rays. I will refuse steroids. I will not gain the weight back. I might become sensitive to the sun, many of these meds do that. So I shall have to wear something on my head to keep the sun away from my eyes and face. I will have to wear darker short sleave shirts on sunny days in spring and summer. I will have to beware of the sun. Even more so than others, but as long as I can treck along and be happy that I can move and not limp along because of this damn disease, the happier I will be...
So it didn't start today, I guess it started this summer when I decided somehow I was going to pick up my health once again after fifteen years. pick it up fast, before I die. I want to evolve into a strong person. Remember what Darwin said ... hmm yea Darwin ... it goes way back to that long ago ..lol
ttylater all
love yas
natalie jo
Last edited:
Ankebuzz
Well-known member
Hey Nat!
Sounds like your head's screwed on right now!
The 5 meals a day thing: Breakfast, morning snack, lunch, afternoon snack, supper, evening snack (have this right before bed... toast with peanutbutter is substantial enough to curb my night binging cravings...)
Try go for a walk everytime Derek goes to karate... and don't go more than one day without the walking!
Here's to a healthier and healthier year!
Sounds like your head's screwed on right now!
The 5 meals a day thing: Breakfast, morning snack, lunch, afternoon snack, supper, evening snack (have this right before bed... toast with peanutbutter is substantial enough to curb my night binging cravings...)
Try go for a walk everytime Derek goes to karate... and don't go more than one day without the walking!
Here's to a healthier and healthier year!
misty22
Well-known member
Hey Nat,
Late night binges are not great and I think most of us have done them at one point or another. My late night binge was day before yesterday- and it's because I kept myself hungry during the day- big no-no.
My best advice is to try to keep full so you don't end up feeling too hungry when bed time comes by...and to keep lots of liquids close by- whether its soup or tea or water.
Or just try and go to bed early. Personally, I have a snack at 6/7pm and I'm good for the night. A cup of tea after is good for me.
Hope this helps!
Late night binges are not great and I think most of us have done them at one point or another. My late night binge was day before yesterday- and it's because I kept myself hungry during the day- big no-no.
My best advice is to try to keep full so you don't end up feeling too hungry when bed time comes by...and to keep lots of liquids close by- whether its soup or tea or water.
Or just try and go to bed early. Personally, I have a snack at 6/7pm and I'm good for the night. A cup of tea after is good for me.
Hope this helps!
L
Lilyofthevalley
Guest
Hey Natalie Jo.
I don't have much advice to offer, but I just wanted to swing by and say hello. I know you'll beat this whole weight thing, complete with diabetes and arthritis. You are a fighter- you CAN do this!
Here's my sorry attempt at advice--
Try to keep a routine going, walk every day, or every other day, do the weights on days you don't walk.
I hope you feel better about yourself soon- You really are an extraordinary person. Derek is a lucky man.
<3 Annie
I don't have much advice to offer, but I just wanted to swing by and say hello. I know you'll beat this whole weight thing, complete with diabetes and arthritis. You are a fighter- you CAN do this!
Here's my sorry attempt at advice--
Try to keep a routine going, walk every day, or every other day, do the weights on days you don't walk.
I hope you feel better about yourself soon- You really are an extraordinary person. Derek is a lucky man.
<3 Annie