Llama

Food was good today. Stuck to the plan. All delicious. Wraps weren´t quite filing enough this morning even though they had the same amount of calories as my normal bean/pea/pentil versions have and more protein. Not enough volume and fiber I guess, even though I tried stuffing a ton of greens into them. The rice thing and the lentil thing were super voluminous though. Body´s complaining a little bit about not being overfed anymore but it feels like transitional hunger pangs, not unbearable cravings.

Did my strength exercises: looks like the gyms will be closed again starting Monday so I´m extra grateful for our work strength room. Maybe I should get a new exercise band tomorrow before everything closes: my last one ripped during the last lockdown and I haven´t replaced it. Speaking of shopping: I need to get some groceries so I won´t have to visit two different markets tomorrow. Time for the store that has terrible produce but stocks the right pickles, beans, and cola-flavored beverage...
 
Plan for tomorrow:
- toasted ham&cheese baguette (greens on the side)
- pea mash/feta quesadilla (also with extra greens and probably cherry tomatoes)
- either lentil stew with puff pastry or 3 hot wings with airfried potatoes and whatever veggies
- protein pudding and fruit for snacks
 
Woke up too early and the reality of another dark, dreary winter with very limited socializing hit me like a ton of bricks. Unpleasant, oppressive dreams with lots of suffocation and decay imagery. It's hard to be positive right now and it's hard not to get angry. Better said: I am angry. I'm angry at the politicians who use this already hard, messy situation to further polarize society. And I'm mad at the people who knowingly spread lies. A planned, world-wide blackout? The CEO of Pfizer not being vaccinated? His wife having died after getting the vaccine? Those aren't innocent mistakes that take on a life of their own: they're easily checked, malicious lies meant to make us unhappy and distrustful of others. And I hate that people are doing this to others. I literally want to kick them. But I don't. I stay professional. And it's tearing me up.
 
LaMa, I think you are well within your rights to be angry. I’m trying hard not to be, but I am disgusted with conspiracy “theorists”, outright liars, violent “protestors” who say they are protesting for their freedom- :svengo:
I have had enough.
What has happened to logic?
 
Sadly humans have never been particularly logical. It's why we need the scientific method to keep things on track! One of my patients quoted someone as saying that regardless of population growth our collective iq seems to stay the same :p Silly, of course, but it made me smile on a tough day.

Woke up still feeling like crap but family exercise and chat helped a lot. Did my grocery shopping and walked for 2 hours in the sunshine. Had cheese/crackers/pickles for lunch and now I'm craving chocolate again. I was doing so well, too. But of course I can have protein pudding and fruit instead! The good grapes are back in stock so I should be fine.
 
I notice in myself that the whole covid crisis has made me go into survival mode. I don't think about it outside my automated habits of distancing and hygiene, I can't really see a future without covid anymore, or imagine how things will kick back when it comes to employment and all that. I just exist, like an animal. I can't even spare any anger on anxiety towards people who are using this to spread conspiracy theories or lies - I used to be so mad back in 2020 but now I just feel exhausted. When I completed my vaccinations I felt happy and hopeful for a while, but now... There was just news that there's only one ICU bed free in my municipality. ICU used to be a rarity, for traffic accident, violence, and stroke victims and such. Makes me feel so hopeless.

Sorry for the rant!
 
Same. Most of the time I´m fine-ish because I ignore all the crap and focus on the things that ARE possible but sometimes everything just sucks and I can feel my life slipping through my fingers, unlived. But you know what? Humans are a resilient bunch. We´ll get through this. As long as we keep supporting each other we will get out the other end. There´ll be cuts and bruises for all of us but we´ll get through.
Just watched this:
She makes some really good points. I personally think this whole series was scripted as Smith´s gift to all of us who became more sedentary during covid and who are harder on ourselves than we deserve. I´m not going to watch his series because I hate the Biggest Loser style but with Océane´s commentary I think it´s a very kind, helpful document.
 
Oh, I completely forgot: ate well-ish today. Had some extra salami - which adds up quickly - but did not go for the chocolate, which would've added up even more. Plan for tomorrow...
- Pitabread with salmon and green pea mash.
- Probably something hearty if I manage to make it out on a hike. Otherwise I'll just get sushi once more before they close for lockdown.
- Lentil stew.
- Protein pudding and fruit, nothing new there.
 
Took a while to get to sleep. I should really cut down on my caffeinated soda in the afternoon/evening. If only it didn´t taste so nice... Tea season has started though so I could finally try some of the herbal teas I bought months ago when I had the same plan. Maybe I could try cold-brew herbal tea? My problem with tea is generally that I´m a thirsty person and I don´t want to have to add another step before drinking. Or maybe I´m just lazy and don´t like extra steps. Because I could 100% drink a glass of water while making tea. I should probably just leave the soda bottle in the kitchen so refilling my water bottle isn´t more "work" than drinking Pepsi.
 
Well: I was lazy today. I did go for a run though* and I did have that sushi. I asked and the manager said they´re talking to their tax consultant tomorrow to see if they might find a way to stay open this lockdown. That´d be glorious and I´d go there twice a week just to support them. I also made "tea" with just cold water and a bag of apple/hibiscus tea. Think I let it sit for 4 hours or so and it was quite nice. Put another bottle into the fridge to steep overnight.

* Ran a little over 3 km. It was so hard! My quads were a little sore from yesterday´s squats and stairwork but I hadn´t expected them to react so strongly. Still: I plan to run twice a week over this 3-week lockdown and 3 times a week once it gets easier (which it will if I keep at it...). If I can up the distance by one street corner twice a week I should be at 6 km in 10 weeks. And I have no desire to run more than that, ever. The third run, once I get that far, can be for sprint intervals.
 
The running plan sounds good. It's surprising how sometimes one's legs just really feel it. i get that even when I haven't done any strengthening and have had my rest days from running.
I hope your sushi place can stay open during lockdown. This whole covid thing is really making it hard on businesses!
 
Thanks Liza, it's reassuring to hear real runners can have the same problem! Thankfully my legs feel better this morning, rather than worse. I was a bit scared I might not be able to get down the ladder. Will be doing extra family exercise to get through lockdown (adding Mondays back in) so between that and walking to work I'll be good for activity today.

This morning's cold brew tea contains actual tea and it's nicer than I'd expected. This may become a habit.

I should probably eat something, or at least make sure I have something ready as soon as we're done with exercise, but my body doesn't seem to be awake yet. Maybe I'll go for a walk first.
 
LaMaria said:
his morning's cold brew tea contains actual tea and it's nicer than I'd expected. This may become a habit.
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I can't imagne cold brew teas in this chilly weather. I love my morning hot coffees and afternoon hot teas! But that is good if it's breaking the soda habit.

LaMaria said:
Will be doing extra family exercise to get through lockdown (adding Mondays back in) so between that and walking to work I'll be good for activity today
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I guess you are getting used to going between lockdown and openings now so that's good you have a plan already in place to get your exercise in despite gyms being closed.
 
Hi LaMa, it's so good to hear how you are doing so well! I really feel you about the lockdowns and people's weird reactions to them. I really worry about how people are not willing to sacrifice for everyone's safety, and hope altruism comes back into style again. I haven't been running, but packing every day is strange because I can be really sore from just a little packing one day and fine the next from seriously hauling a ton of boxes onto a moving van. I really don't understand muscle recovery.

Anyway, I love your motto of slow and steady and I think you are doing great with all your healthy substitutes and I'm really inspired by how you get in great exercise even with the lockdowns. I hope you find a nice exercise band and get good time in your work's weight room!

Have you looked into getting one of those carbonation machines? I think I'd get one if I weren't living in a shoe box now!
 
liza said:
I can't imagne cold brew teas in this chilly weather. I love my morning hot coffees and afternoon hot teas! But that is good if it's breaking the soda habit.
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:) I like my baths warm and my drinks hot. Added a touch of sweetener (the equivalent of a teaspoon of sugar to half a liter of water) and it was really nice. Put another bottle in the fridge for tomorrow morning (different flavor).
Marsia said:
I really don't understand muscle recovery.
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Hey, it's my job and I don't always understand either, so...
Marsia said:
Have you looked into getting one of those carbonation machines? I think I'd get one if I weren't living in a shoe box now!
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As a fellow showbox-dweller I have to be very picky about what I bring in but that's definitely one I'm considering. Sometimes I just want bubbles.
 
Took a long time for my brain to calm down yesterday. Sleeping by 9:30 when I get home after 8 may just be difficult. Will continue to try and keep my caffeine intake low though. Maybe it'll get easier then.

I'm not as warm today as I usually am, possibly because I've been in a deficit for almost a week now while I was in a pretty heavy surplus for a couple of weeks before. Quads are a lot less sore than yesterday but my hammies are still feeling it.
 
Why do you want to get to sleep by 9:30? (Sorry, I haven't had time yet to read many of the pages of your diary I missed.). Glad the soreness is dissipating, and I am always impressed how you can turn around your diet so fast and you are even good at cutting back on caffeine! When you have willpower, wow, do you have it!
 
I wonder if cutting back on food could be affecting your sleep too? It always does me.
Although, yeah, I don't think I could ever go to sleep at 930, and all the moreso if I was busy until 8. I seem to need at least a few hours of winding down.
 
Marsia said:
Why do you want to get to sleep by 9:30?
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Because my alarm rings at 5:35 so I can start my shift at 6:40 and I need my 8 hours to be fully functional. It´s usually not a problem but lately I´ve struggled to turn off my phone (and my brain) in time.
Marsia said:
When you have willpower, wow, do you have it!
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:D Thank you. I don´t feel like I have a lot of willpower though? I just try to make healthy substitutions that are still pleasant.
liza said:
Although, yeah, I don't think I could ever go to sleep at 930, and all the moreso if I was busy until 8. I seem to need at least a few hours of winding down.
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Yeah, that´s my problem when I have a late shift one day and an early one the next...

Was going to visit a friend who hurt her arm (it´s pretty much impossible to get a therapy appointment on short notice atm) but came home with a sore throat and a big headache so I messaged to ask if we could figure things out over videochat instead. Felt bad about it but it turns out she wasn´t feeling great either so it was better for her this way as well. Did cancel my call with my dad because if I had talked another hour there´s no way my throat would be better by tomorrow and I need to be fit if I want to get my third shot.
 
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