Ranting.....
FUCK!!!
....so this whole past week, I kept on reading about how EVERYONE else is in such a GREAT MOOD and LOSING 20 million lbs a WEEK....

D...
YES I EXAGGERATE)...anyway....then it started allowing for NEGATIVE thoughts to creep into my head...like "MAN, what if THEY ALL LOSE their weight, and I'm STILL here STRUGGLING FOREVER....

"....and I think mainly those thoughts were creeping into my head, cause a lot of people are losing SOOOO FAST

and I'm not.....

.....
I'm PIST at myself...I could have EASILY been in the 140's by now...but since MY DUMB ASS....decided that "NA....I'm just gonna eat all December

....I'm paying for it, cause this weight is being a YO-YO with me!!! ....
....Yeah, I cheated ONE DAY last week member.....and I didn't exercise AS MUCH or as hard as I wanted...and "
I WAS FEARING THE WEIGH IN TODAY, and YUP I ATTRACTED WEIGHT GAIN".........
I gained almost 2 LBS this past week!!!!......
WTFFFFF?!?!?!?!!!!!!!!!!!.......
I am SO ANNOYED with the scale, and will be soooooo GLAD when I don't have to weigh in ANYMORE......it freakin annoys me.......
FOR EXAMPLE, I was feeling GREAT about myself, I feel stronger, my resistance is up, I have been TRYING to eat healthier, and I notice less back fat, and today I tried on my bathing suit from last summer (with the tag on it still) and it FIT

and looked purty GOOD (cause the hot springs member)....and I've been doing my exercises, logging it in...and
DOING THE DAMN THING right......
TODAY I FIT INTO MY SIZE 4 EXPRESS PANTS AGAIN
& I tried on these LEVI stretch jeans for the HELL OF IT, that are SIZE 3...and THEY BUTTONED and had a little muffin top, BUT THEY BUTTONED.....?!?!?!
.....and then I step on the SCALE and it says
I GAINED 2 lbs!!!
....I don't get it....how can I get smaller and fit into smaller sizes and STILL GAIN?!?!?!?
WTF!?!?! can I really build muscle in a week??!!
COME ON....I'm, not buying it....!!!....regardless....I think I haven't been eating enough....
....so I'm getting real tempted to throw ALL THE LOW CARB out the window, and FEAST on those mugs...........WHOLE GRAINS.........and change it......
....but then I don't want it to be like "
THE SECRET" ya know....
THE LAW OF ATTRACTION, that I beleive beleive....keep doing it , keep doing it, and JUST when the RESULTS were coming around the corner....I QUIT watering the SEED, so my results disapper and die.....NO FLOURISHING....!!!
....so I guess, TRY HARDER, and "COUNT" the MUTHA FUCKN CARBS now.....not just mental eyeball track it.....PSH!!!!!!!!
...on TOP OF IT ALL....
I BETTER get better today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!