Cate's Diary

LaMaria said:
Why's the room so dusty all of a sudden? Nono, just got something in my eye...
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Sorry, LaMa. I read that last night & felt very teary & didn't reply. Thanks, hon. You're a sweetie xoxo

Rebel- I think you are right about him being off in a hospital. He needs to be in a safe environment & be closely monitored & supported. You have given me much food for thought. I'm not sure what the options are here, but I will investigate. I just looked up the different meds & different treatments & found a new site that I hadn't seen before. I think finding the right mental health practitioner will be the best start.
I think I'll get in touch with a couple of his friends who work vaguely in that field & see if they have any ideas.

Had a good day today really. We had a dog groomer coming for the 1st time so I had to be home by 2 pm. I got home at 12 in case she was able to get here early. She didn't get here until 2.45 & was here for ages. I got heaps of housework done which was good. The house looks much better & it was a good distraction. Our little dog also looks much better. The woman took lots of care.

OK. Time for another cuppa xoxo Cate
 
Having done lots of housework is much more satisfying than doing it ;) Also yay for people who take pride in their jobs and take good care of their charges.
 
Re your mention in my new thread - I dug up the following. It's a poem I find solace in when language fails:

The Meaning of Existence

Everything except language
knows the meaning of existence.
Trees, planets, rivers, time
know nothing else. They express it
moment by moment as the universe.

Even this fool of a body
lives it in part, and would
have full dignity within it
but for the ignorant freedom
of my talking mind.


By Les Murry (Australian Poet) from Poems the Size of Photographs, 2002
_________________________________________________________

Hope things settle soon.
~ Dave.
 
Thanks, Dave. I love poetry & I love Les Murray's poems.
I read an article in the Melbourne Age, by Tony Wright, talking about Ireland & John Clarke's wake & he mentioned this poem. I looked it up & listened to the poet actually reading it. It took me away to that place & I thought it was beautiful.
Here is the poem-
Postscript by Seamus Heaney
And some time make the time to drive out west
Into County Clare, along the Flaggy Shore,
In September or October, when the wind
And the light are working off each other
So that the ocean on one side is wild
With foam and glitter, and inland among stones
The surface of a slate-grey lake is lit
By the earthed lightening of flock of swans,
Their feathers roughed and ruffling, white on white,
Their fully-grown headstrong-looking heads
Tucked or cresting or busy underwater.
Useless to think you'll park or capture it
More thoroughly. You are neither here nor there,
A hurry through which known and strange things pass
As big soft buffetings come at the car sideways
And catch the heart off guard and blow it open

& here is the link to the poet reading it out-
I think it's very melancholy as well as being beautiful.

Not having the best of days. I came home from golf after 9 holes as I started crying. I thought golf would take my mind off R, but it didn't.
I have been on the phone to our Telco for 1.5 hours, trying to sort out an issue I am having. I got conned into a contract. I didn't think I was gullible, but I got ear-bashed into something I kept saying I didn't want & I caved in. I had kept saying "but I'm better off with this....." & the guy kept saying "trust me". I shouldn't have! He lied. I will take this to the Ombudsman if they don't cancel this without penalty. It is so frustrating & I have been very angry, which is just not good for me at all. They are meant to be ringing me back.
 
Sorry to hear about your telecom companies lies. Although I was sad to lose my last post when the outsourcing company I was working for lost its contract with a MAJOR british telecoms company. I am in some small way glad on the basis of the amount of miss selling that went on by the sales teams a lot of customers getting products they did not need.
 
Thanks, Geordie. I had a job in a call centre once & left when it felt like I was losing my soul. Souls are sacred & so is personal integrity. I am usually a very patient & polite person when I am on the phone to a call centre because I know how hard the job is. Today my patience has been sorely tested. I hope I get a decent outcome as I really don't want to get any angrier. I have been distracting myself for a while with poetry, Facebook fluff etc & a glass of red wine.......
 
Urgh! I try to be polite as well because I know that hardly anyone would do that kind of job if they had a choice but I also know that relying on and abusing people´s politeness is part of their strategy. I hate it so much! Over here you have a two or three week protection period (during which you can withdraw without even having to give a reason) for any contract closed over telephone. For the exact reason that people often feel bullied into saying yes.
 
That should happen here & it used to. I was being bullied again yesterday(by a supervisor), but I got very angry & then got somewhere. You should not have to get angry. I was probably a LOT more forceful than I ever am. I was not giving up. At one stage I said. "OK. I am going to start all over & tell you what happened & I want you to listen to me!" & she did. It was such a battle though. I was thoroughly exhausted afterwards.
G & I are off to town as he has an appointment with his Oncologist. We are taking a load of wood to our niece beforehand as she has split with her husband & needs wood. She bought some & it was green. We'll leave soon.
R sent me a message last night saying he is sorry he is causing me so much stress :(
LaMa- I'm considering seeing a therapist. It's not so easy here as it is living in a city.
 
Wouldn't life be a lot easier if everyone behaved decently? I know it's silly of me but I get frustrated when people cause such unnecessary stress. Like the phone thing. Or the green wood. Or the golf shenanigans. It's all so unnecessary! And the benefits can't even be that big for the people who do it!
 
LaMaria said:
Wouldn't life be a lot easier if everyone behaved decently? I know it's silly of me but I get frustrated when people cause such unnecessary stress. Like the phone thing. Or the green wood. Or the golf shenanigans. It's all so unnecessary! And the benefits can't even be that big for the people who do it!
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It certainly would hon!
Had a positive day overall today. Saw B, our niece's husband & heard his views about their marriage break-up. He helped us unload the wood. They live in houses side by side! Had heard her families views on the breakup & had thought they were being harsh. Now we both think she has serious mental issues. It's very sad. I think we were able to show him some support & sympathy. I think he is very strong.
Then we went for G's 3 month check-up & he got the thumbs up. We are not seeing the original Oncologist but are sticking with his non arrogant offsider, who we both really like & respect.
Had a healthy lunch, did some Sri Lankan(Indian really) shopping & came home feeling ok.
Then I got this message from R-
"Today I walked the dog. Bought some good whole foods from hill street & got a start on cleaning my room. I went to the chemist & spoke to the pharmacist about getting a good all natural sleep aid and I am going to give that a go with some ear plugs so I hopefully start getting good, solid sleep. I'm also going to get back into an exercise routine because I've felt really lethargic and shitty for a while. I've got out a scrap book, paper and pen and I'm going to start writing down lists of things that make me happy. What makes me anxious and sad & the things I want to achieve in my life essentially get to the root of what brings me down and slowly start working through those things. So although I haven't contacted a doctor and made an appointment with a psych yet I am starting. I'm going to really try to focus on getting into a good healthy eating routine. A consistent wake up time & get out of the house straight away every morning to walk Alec. I've felt more positive today at work than I have in a while. I will book in to see my GP soon mum I promise. Hopefully I can get onto a mental health plan & get 10 free appointments. I love you."
It's the most positive thing I have heard from him for a while.
A much better day!
 
Thanks, LaMa. I really hope so too xoxo

Our holiday to Sri Lanka was so good. It has faded too much, too quickly though. Being on holiday gives you such a contrast to facing the everyday realities & stresses of home. I always say I won't go on holiday & come back to our Winter, but I almost always decide that being away for my birthday would be fun & that's in May & then we come home to the start of Winter. Oh, well. 1st world problem I know.I have had too much stress with R since we got home to continue savouring the whole thing. The high didn't last long. It was SO good though!

I'll try to get it back. Have I told you anything about it? There was the hotel with the most splendid bathroom I have ever seen. It was outside our room & it was luxurious. If anyone had told me I would just love an outside bathroom I would have said they were barmy! It was totally private & set in a beautifully landscaped courtyard. That was our first night! Here's a start to my photos-
View attachment 24548 View attachment 24549 View attachment 24550 View attachment 24551
I really do have to spend some serious time sorting these out. Just doing this will help take me back there mentally. Already it has lifted my mood a bit.
I have the littlies today & tonight so will be busy. Bye for now, xoxo Cate
 
The idea of an outside bathroom made me cringe a bit but if it looks like this one I´m all for it! That´s just gorgeous.
 
OMG THAT pool!!! Amaaazing!!!

And the bathroom is freaking awesome. Very different to the 'outside bathrooms' I encountered on my travels haha.

Sending you love Cate and hope you get some of those holiday vibes back!
 
Hi LaMa, Delsid & Kate :group hug:
That bathroom was amazing & so was the pool. It was 100 metres long! R has sent me photos the last 2 mornings of him taking his dog for great big walks. He's letting me know he's getting out of bed & getting some fresh air & exercise. l'll ring him later.
I had a good day yesterday doing the same with the kids. We're about to take them home to their Mum's. I'll pop back later with some more photos.
 
OK- more holiday pics- G & I got to the top of this. Only 7 of our group of 13 did. Sigiriya or Sinhagiri is an ancient rock fortress located in the northern Matale District near the town of Dambulla in the Central Province, Sri Lanka. We left at 8am as it was stinking hot & also had been declared a public holiday for Vesak, the Buddhist celebration for the New Moon, so was going to be VERY busy. We got to the top at 10am.-
 
Sorry to hear about your son, Cate..how challenging for you all. Glad he seems a little more positive in his last message. Photos are just fabulous - trip of a lifetime!
 
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