Cate's Diary

So.....the next day we went to Minniyera National Park & went in open-topped jeeps on safari. Half an hour into the park we came across a family of elephants near the track & under some trees. They had just arrived & a couple were still coming. The front jeep stopped & was looking back. There was another jeep stopped next to them coming the other way. Our 3rd jeep was behind us by about 20 metres. I was standing up taking a couple of photos & about to take a video when in less than 2 seconds the bull elephant who had been ambling out went into full charge, trumpeting, roaring & chasing us! Our jeep driver flattened his foot, madly honking the horn, while the one in front took off & I have no idea what the one coming the other way did. We had quickly jumped back down when this happened & hung on for dear life. I know he came to within a foot of the back of our jeep with his truck. He was quick & he was angry. It was a very lucky escape.
You know what I did the whole time this was happening? I laughed & laughed & laughed. It was a nervous reaction. Poor Moira who had been sitting on the back seat was as white as white & I couldn't stop laughing. It was SO exciting. It was the most exciting moment of my life (so far).
We then drove on to a large clearing where hundreds of elephants were happily grazing. One came right up to our jeep & you almost could have reached out & touched it. I can remember the sheer pleasure I felt at the experience. I have had this feeling for elephants all my life & here I was in the wild with them.
It took about 10 minutes before our 2nd jeep arrived & we were worried about them. Their driver had backed up & they waited until the family had moved over the track & moved on. They said "he looked like he was this close" & held their hands up. "That's because he was" was our reply. Very exciting & oh so very close :D
 
Those elephants look gorgeous - so nice and plump! I´d rather not get chased by them, but I can definitely see the thrill of it :D
 
I was gonna say!!! One of the reasons I wanna go to Sri Lanka are those bloody elephants haha, I loooooove them and the idea of seeing them in the wild is amazing. How funny (and kinda scary haha) that you got chased by one! I never thought they would do that. It must have been just an asshole of the pack ;)
 
Hi, LaMa, Butterfly & Delsid. Elephants are gorgeous, but they are wild animals & we keep encroaching on their territory. . He was just protecting his family. It was wonderful & I'm glad it happened, but it gives you an idea of what too much tourism will bring. Along with that come the big hotels, built on top of hills & mountains & down by the water side. The floods came to Sri Lanka the week after we left & there were landslides, lives lost & half a million people displaced. Tourism brings benefits but at a cost. I hope they restrict numbers.
I'm feeling much better today. It helps knowing that R is getting out of his house & walking his dog & also has been bushwalking with one of his best mates.
The shit at the golf club keeps getting worse & we have been staying out of it. B wanted to talk to me today about it, but I have averted that to another day when I can be with G & she will be with her husband. They are both despairing about the way the club is going. Short of a complete takeover of the committee, I think G & I will be changing clubs at the end of the year. I don't enjoy going there anymore. If we changed clubs he could just go & play & so could I. No more me being Vets secretary/treasurer, him being Vets captain, no more me doing the bar on Vets & women's days......Just golf.

Anyhow. I feel good today & am off to do the bar for G mainly. The vets are actually ok. It's just all the whinging about the state of the course(it is terrible) & the narkiness about the DH captain & the greensman who seem to have taken over the club. I'll stay above it. I can do it :)
 
Fingers crossed for staying out of the mess :) And yeah, we´re usually the assholes, rather than the wild animals. Doesn´t even really matter what kind we´re talking about. Unless they´re cute, harmless and able to live on the tiny scraps of land we haven´t got round to "developing" yet someone will see them as vermin. O, also if they´re too good at living on those scraps of land.
 
I would have the same reaction to nearly being charged by an elephant I think! My mum is the same, she starts laughing when she's afraid.

Sorry about your son. Does he live nearby? Would he consider moving home with ye for a while or even staying regularly on weekends for a time? Hope he starts to feel better soon.

As for the golf club - if there is a nicer course nearby, I would definitely suggest jumping ship. No point in suffering on when you don't have to.
 
Hi, Em. R lives about a 2.5-hour drive from us. He has never had a driver's licence unfortunately & that's just another of his problems. Life would be so much easier for him if he did. I could see him with a campervan getting around our beautiful state. He has been getting out of bed each morning & taking his dog for a walk. He says he has been eating better & he has been bushwalking up a mountain with his very good friend Dave. Hopefully soon he will see a psych....
I'm staying home from golf today. I messaged 2 of my 3 favourite women yesterday to see if they were going to be playing & they're away( 1 for just a week & the other another couple of days) & the 3rd is away for another 4 weeks. I arranged lunch next week with one of them. I really don't feel like going out to the club unless I have to. I would much rather G's company. Last week I got asked to play with one of the women who then played in another woman's cart. They nattered away to one another & I may as well have played on my own. They have been friends since they're little. I don't know why they asked me really, except for the fact that you are meant to play in 3's. That won't happen again.
I will go out & play next Wednesday & see how I go.
I spent hours last night sorting out more photos. I have them on my timeline on Facebook & I am trying to label them & put them in an album instead. It's a nightmare. I also need to save them all onto my laptop & then a USB. It is going to take me AGES.
 
Hello darling,

I've been meaning to send you a message of support re. your son, I'm so sorry to hear that it has been a difficult time for him and all of you Cate. As a psych and social worker (actually, just got recently accredited in AUS too, woop woop ;)) I strongly suggest this type of support as essential to his recovery. It seems to me that both of you ( family and your son) know how important professional assistance is to help him stay on track , and like you said there is only so much you (and a professional for that matter) can do...most of the work actually needs to come from him, and his willingness to live a happy and fulfilling life. I would take on the opportunity of him recognizing that he is loved and that his life matters and, whenever possible, transform that self-realization into concrete positive attitudes for him.

I don't know the situation, nor your son/family well, to make suggestions from a professional stand-point (plus I'm sure you are here for moral support), but one thing that I can attest is that family/friend's support is essential to keep the person in check. I would also consider an accredited life coach, it's the type of professional assistance that will help your son set and achieve both short and long term life goals with a more straight forward approach. If you feel like your son is procrastinating getting medical assistance, maybe a life coach will be less daunting and can be a first step towards the right direction?!? (NOTE: if your son is in any danger to himself and/or others, then I would definitely recommend stepping in immediately and getting all medical assistance necessary).

Lastly, I don't know if in your area (or your son's) you have support groups directed to mental health wellbeing and self-care...one of the biggest problems with mental illness is stigma, people feel isolated, many times "out of place", and when they finally take up the courage to speak up and seek help with peers (depending to whom they speak, but overall in most communities it seems the case...people don't know how to proper respond or react) they might make inappropriate comments and seem insensitive, most of these people are not familiar and feel uncomfortable with the whole realm of mental illnesses/certain topics that perhaps strike a cord to someone close to them...it's actually one of the biggest things that I advocate for, discussing mental health at school level and at community centers everywhere...from a very young age people should know about the importance of mental health care and study mental illnesses. We would be a society more empathetic with those suffering greater from it, because at a certain level we all suffer from stresses of life. But if a child/adolescent recognizes symptoms they can early on seek help, empathy would decrease bullying, and perhaps many would feel less out of place when requesting assistance from reliable professionals in their area.
DON'T HESITATE IN DOING THIS FOR YOURSELF IF YOU NEED...don't let others discomfort in talking about the topic preventing you from seeking assistance if you need to talk to someone about what your son and your family are going through, a professional should have a list of all available resources in your area and this is potentially life saving information....I don't know 1 person in this WHOLE WIDE BIG WORLD that doesn't know someone that suffers or has lost someone to mental illness. It's sad and it's something that needs way more attention and compassion from authorities and our communities.

Sending you and your family much much LOVE!!!

PS: "Just golf" sounds wonderful...you don't need any extra drama in your life sweetheart...if the Club is giving you and your husband more stress than pleasure these days, then eliminate yourself from that environment! ;)
 
allthefoods said:
I'm glad things with your son are a little more positive. That must be so stressful for you.

Your holiday looks amazing!!!
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Thank you sweets xoxo

CaliGirl- your post is so helpful & supportive! I'm on my phone now but will come back later on my laptop & read it again. LaMa has suggested I see someone too & I think it's a good idea. I find most people have very little empathy for anyone with mental illness. I feel even my lovely husband (& our older son) just don't understand how hard it is to talk about how you really feel with anyone, let alone a professional. Neither of them is great at expressing themselves.

I'm back again & on my laptop now.
CaliGirl- I wish you were right here in Tasmania, right now.
I think the main thing that has kept R going through the last couple of years has been our love & support & also the love and support of some of his friends. We had a huge talk a couple of years ago around the dining room table after he had been taken to emergency to remove a 50c piece he had swallowed as a dare. Now I know that makes him sound like a bit of an idiot but I recognised it as not caring whether he lived or died & called him out on it. There have been much worse things, that have been much more dangerous, but this was the last straw for me. I don't usually confront anyone, let alone the people I really love. I told him that whether he died deliberately or died because he took crazy risks the end result would be the same. I told him how losing my brother to suicide at the age of 25 was something I would never really get over & that if he died doing something reckless it would break my heart. It was bloody hard, but it had to be said. I looked to my husband for support & he added a little & then to our other son, who said a few words too. We all cried & I knew it hurt his feelings, but he has also remembered it & I know he keeps it in mind. I am very open & honest with him. We are very similar & very close.
I feel that my going to see someone won't really help R & it's him seeing someone that is much more important. I'll check out life coaches near him, but I feel that we are very limited here in Tassie. We only have a population of half a million people in the whole state & sometimes I feel we are a long way behind the rest of the world. A support group for him would be a great idea I think.
You have given me food for thought CaliGirl & helped me to feel positive about his future. I will never give up. It's not in me.Thanks, hon xoxo

I had a really good day today. I didn't go to golf. We took a load of wood to D's place(our older son), gathered another load, did lots of cooking(G), I did lots of tidying (including sorting out our spice cabinet) & have both read, I sorted out my music online a bit & restored some stuff on my phone, listened to some Sri Lankan music (& sang our tour chorus- "Idu nil gagu lal, .......") & had a lovely chill-out day.
Much love to all xoxo Cate
 
LaMaria said:
Random big hug from Austria.
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Thanks, LaMa. That was a lovely hug- perfume-free as well :) xoxo
Emilyrose said:
Glad you had a nice, chilled out day. :grouphug:
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Thanks, Em. It was a lovely day & I plan on having another one today, although it looks like rain. Maybe the vacuuming will get done at last!

We have been having some work done to our driveway (about 1km!) & the guy is coming back at midday to do some more. We'll stay here as long as we can so we may as well do the things that need doing to make it more comfortable & even more enjoyable. It is time I started adding more plants to our entrance too. When the work is finished we will take away all the outside furniture, paint the concrete under the verandah (clear Laserlite roof) & I am going to then re-think what we have there & make it look better, instead of random old furniture that's been shoved out there. I like the idea of getting a really large outdoor dining table with comfy chairs (or long very chunky medieval style bench seats). Comfy chairs would be more versatile.

Since we got back from holiday my stomach has had trouble readjusting. I have been really constipated & have felt very uncomfortable. The food there really suited me. I missed curries. I even had curry for breakfast in SL. Yesterday G cooked a lentil curry & a pumpkin curry & we had them with some rice, some mixed vegetable curry from the freezer, a little yoghurt, some rhubarb chutney & 2 papadams each. It sounds like a lot but wasn't. We eat on small plates usually. I loved it. We then followed that with a small fruit platter. That's how we ate mostly in Sri Lanka. This morning my stomach feels almost back to normal. I'm going to eat less meat & more curries. I also got used to being able to walk around & choose a little bit of this & a little bit of that. I need some more breakfast ideas.
 
I love massive tables that can seat everyone. I also love food that heals my stomach. Not only is it more pleasant to not feel mildly nauseous all the time but I also feel full much longer when my stomach is content.
 
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