Cate's Diary

[Cate]

Having a reliable source of quality fruit is great, even if it's frozen. Enjoy the remnants of summer.

Thanks, LaMa. I had a fairly energetic day today after a terrible night's sleep. I had put the winter doona on the other day & it was way too hot last night. I had also had 2 coffees with my lunch & I was wide awake! This afternoon after one walk & quite a bit of gardening Arch & I had a snooze. After that, I did a bit more gardening & then took Arch for another walk. I get G to ring me as he's leaving golf & then he can pick me up along the way. I'm putting the in-between doona back on the bed tonight.
Tomorrow I'll get G to help me with the garden. Thursday we're taking Arch for a haircut & Friday is my friend's funeral.

 

[Floater]

Tomorrow I'll get G to help me with the garden. Thursday we're taking Arch for a haircut & Friday is my friend's funeral.

I wish you a peaceful week in all it's joys and sorrows.

 

[Cate]

I wish you a peaceful week in all it's joys and sorrows.

Thank you

I rang G2 yesterday for her birthday. She's just turned 86 & is still playing golf. That's amazing. She has never been overweight at all & is very fit. She & G1 were so close & she must really miss her. She always sounds tickled pink when I ring her, which is nice. She asked me if I'm coming back soon & I promised her I would come out for a hit in the next few weeks. I need to ring the captain (B2) first to see if that's ok as I'm not a financial member. I just want to have a few hits, not play a proper game & just see how it feels & how my body copes.

I'm struggling to focus on getting back on track mentally. I'm not straying far from a healthy diet just not logging. I'm experiencing a bit of the "can't be bothered."

 

[Trusylver]

you will get past that "can't be bothered." you have had a lot going on recently and it can be very draining.

 

[Marsia]

I hope you get a cooler night's sleep and get all caught up. I don't do well with my diet when I am sleep deprived. And I really agree with Tru about how much you have going on lately.

I really hope you do get to go to the golf club with G2. She sounds really positive. Does it still seem like you are searching for your happy form of exercise now with needing to be careful of your knees?

 

[Cate]

you will get past that "can't be bothered." you have had a lot going on recently and it can be very draining.

Thanks, Tru. You’re right of course. I push things down & that can wear you out.

I hope you get a cooler night's sleep and get all caught up. I don't do well with my diet when I am sleep deprived. And I really agree with Tru about how much you have going on lately.

I really hope you do get to go to the golf club with G2. She sounds really positive. Does it still seem like you are searching for your happy form of exercise now with needing to be careful of your knees?

Thanks, M. I had a really good night’s sleep after switching back our doona.
I think I just need to have a go at playing & see what happens. I probably should wait until we get back from Queensland, in case I hurt my knee. I want to be able to walk & walk & walk while we’re there. I’ll just visit the golf club in the meantime as I can leave Arch home with G.

 

[Marsia]

That's a good idea, making sure your knees are happy for your Queensland trip! Glad you got a good night's sleep!!

 

[Emilyrose]

You keep putting off the trip to the golf club Cate.

Sorry to hear about your friend, funerals can be quite sad but also comforting.

 

[Cate]

That's a good idea, making sure your knees are happy for your Queensland trip! Glad you got a good night's sleep!!

Thanks, M.

You keep putting off the trip to the golf club Cate.

Sorry to hear about your friend, funerals can be quite sad but also comforting.

I know, I know.....
Thanks, Em. It will be both sad & comforting. She died at home with her family, which I am very grateful for.

 

[Cate]

It was a really lovely service & we both cried. It was good to let it out. V was such a kind & generous-hearted person. The photo presentation is what cracked me up. I felt so included & loved & I know that V knew how much I loved her. I really will miss her a lot. I will learn to be an even better friend & make more of an effort for the women in my life who I really love. Friendship is such a precious thing. G & I were very impressed with the young woman who organised the service. It was so personal & kind & loving. We are going to try to work out soon what we want for ourselves when the day comes, rather than wait until one of us dies & the other is grief-stricken. Who needs the extra stress of trying to work it all out then?

 

[Floater]

*hug* I'm glad the service seemed to give you closure and solace. It's smart to think ahead when it comes to planning one's own funeral, too. It should be normalized to talk about death and death rituals.

I want to be cremated and scattered. Animal and human remains can't be buried together in Finland but they can be scattered at the same time. I would love to be set free with Nera like that. Sorry, enough about me.

Take your time to process this loss, God knows you have had a lot of loss lately. But your tone seems very life-affirming and I respect your willingness and motivation to turn this into cherishing your relationships.

 

[Marsia]

This is so lovely and made me tear up. So glad you had such a thoughtful ceremony and remembrance.

 

[Cate]

*hug* I'm glad the service seemed to give you closure and solace. It's smart to think ahead when it comes to planning one's own funeral, too. It should be normalized to talk about death and death rituals.

I think we should talk about these things more too. At my other, most recent funeral G had it organised herself. Her son knew where to have it, who to get to cater for it & she had spoken to a couple of people who she wanted to speak at the funeral. She had also asked her grandson to sing Hallelujah. It was incredibly moving. It was a simple funeral just as she wanted it.
I want to be cremated too & my ashes spread over in our bush near our pet cemetery. We have 3 dogs over there. If we're no longer living here then I want to be composted.

Take your time to process this loss, God knows you have had a lot of loss lately. But your tone seems very life-affirming and I respect your willingness and motivation to turn this into cherishing your relationships.

Thank you. I try to learn from my experiences & I think I need to live more & make more of an effort with my relationships. Friendships really are like a garden. You need to tend to them or they die from neglect.

This is so lovely and made me tear up. So glad you had such a thoughtful ceremony and remembrance.

Thanks, M. It really was lovely & I'm glad that it made us cry. I love that my husband isn't afraid to show his emotions. V had such a kind heart, but also a cheeky sense of humour. She had a tough life & still saw the humour in life & the good in people.
V's daughter is such a lovely person. I would like to stay in touch with her. She's only a year younger than me. I have always got along well with her. She lives in Victoria.
"I am woman" was included in the service yesterday & I think I want that played at mine. It feels like my kind of anthem. I have always thought "Time after time" would be good too.

 

[Alexistrophic]

So sorry for your loss - It does sound like a lovely remembrance service. I completely agree that we ought to normalize talking and planning for death.

 

[Marsia]

That's great that you can have a nice friendship with V's daughter! I wound up exchanging letters with my mom's cousin who I had to tell about my mom's death. I thought all my relatives were gone, but I virtually met a nice new one. I still need to sprinkle my mom's ashes (and to my dismay, I also found my step-dad's ashes that need sprinkling, too. I don't like this sprinkling idea.) It turns out ashes are very high in salt, so I am going to do the ceremony at the ocean, which my mom would definitely approve of.

I can see "I am Woman" playing for your ceremony. I love the idea of a celebration of someone's life rather than strictly grieving.

 

[Llama]

A memorial that leaves people closer sounds wonderful. I don't particularly like the idea of having a place at a cemetery but it doesn't really matter and I know my mom wouldn't want me to get cremated so if I should die before them it's alright if they bury me. Around Vienna there are some woodland areas designated for memorials where I think people bury the ashes and have a sign on the tree above it. I like that.

 

[Cate]

Thanks, Alex, M & LaMa. I'll have a rethink about the ashes. I did start doing a playlist yesterday, with a couple that will bring a laugh. G once almost drove me bonkers playing Spirit in the Sky over & over & over at a party. He loved it so much & played it so often that I was tempted to break the record. It would make him laugh at my funeral if that was played. He also loves Bob Dylan so I added "Knocking on Heaven's Door". "Most People I know" by Billy Thorpe is a favourite of mine & would also get a few laughs. I'll fine-tune it so that they can decide. I'll do a different one for G's funeral. I am also going to go through all of our photos & take copies & maybe do some albums. It can be a winter project.

 

[Marsia]

This is such a fun idea planning your own funeral celebration. It tickles my funny bone that you are picking out annoying and fun songs and everything. I really wanted to be compost and be buried under a tree until I found out about the salt thing. But I guess you could be in an urn or something contained, so it would be safe for the tree.

 

[Llama]

This is such a fun idea planning your own funeral celebration.

I agree: planning it like a party for yourself makes it sound fun!

 

[Cate]

This is such a fun idea planning your own funeral celebration. It tickles my funny bone that you are picking out annoying and fun songs and everything. I really wanted to be compost and be buried under a tree until I found out about the salt thing. But I guess you could be in an urn or something contained, so it would be safe for the tree.

I want it to be fun. I’ll try to keep the momentum going with my plans. The ashes part isn’t that important but I might allocate a container for them to go in & a “don’t throw me out” note.

I agree: planning it like a party for yourself makes it sound fun!

I’m going to try to lighten it for G & the boys if I die first. With G’s it will make it much less stressful for me.
I think I’ll go do some more gardening before it either rains again or gets dark. I really dislike the end of daylight savings.