ups and downs and shifting around

I'm glad the news is finally out, too. Now you can relax and not worry about it. It's said and done with now. I think it's good that you're sticking up for yourself. It definitely shows a good example to your kids that you're willing to fight for what you need, too.
 
Sure enough, the dude is being all nice to me again. And he's talking about going to take "German lessons" from his friend's mom, who is German. Ummm... ??? So does this mean he's in denial? ~shakes head~

I'm sure I'll know soon enough. I mean, he's gonna tell his mom, like I told my mom, and his mom will come at me soon enough with a plea not to seperate the family or something like that. She gets all emotional and I have to deal with her. Ugh.

In weight-related news, I haven't gone back to my old habits. By that I mean, I 'm not pigging out constantly. So it's a steady thing now- I'm just eating less. Yeah! I couldn't stand eating so much I made myself sick. Yet I seemed powerless to stop it. Must be all the people praying for me.
 
Hi Sosel,

Thank you for coming and supporting me in my journal. I have read through your journal and you are a very strong woman. You have self-respect and are standing up for it. Its also great for your children whom you obviously love and care for very much. I grew up in an unstable home and havn't live there for four years and things that happened then still affect me all the time. Going back to school is great. And Paralegal's are not lowly. Its a very respectful and oftentimes lucrative field. I'm currently completing my paralegal certification in Massachusetts to work over the next year. I'll keep checking in. Keep up the good work. You are very strong.
 
Boam46 said:
Hi Sosel,

Thank you for coming and supporting me in my journal. I have read through your journal and you are a very strong woman. You have self-respect and are standing up for it. Its also great for your children whom you obviously love and care for very much. I grew up in an unstable home and havn't live there for four years and things that happened then still affect me all the time. Going back to school is great. And Paralegal's are not lowly. Its a very respectful and oftentimes lucrative field. I'm currently completing my paralegal certification in Massachusetts to work over the next year. I'll keep checking in. Keep up the good work. You are very strong.
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Aw thanks! I needed to hear this right now more than ever. The hubby and I have had a HORRIBLE day. He acts like a child that can't/won't do a thing. Blah. He just keeps showing me how good I can be without dealing with his drama. Not that I don't love him b/c I do. But how moving to Germany with him is more trouble than it's worth. It's sad that he won't grow up. :(
 
Yes it really is sad - I just had to come that realization myself abt my daughter's father...it really is sad that they just dont get it and cant and wotn grow up and step up...
 
Ok, my hubby just got off work and will be home within an hour (maybe). He's been coming home later and later. I used to care but now it's easier. It's not like he lifts a finger. Point is, I don't feel like I can type long. So I'm gonna run this fast.

I have 2 things to discuss and you'll have to bear with me.

1. I have NOT been exercising at all. Other than watching kids and cleaning house and forcing myself to do things the "hard" way, I haven't done anything physical and heart-pumping. I feel so bad (when I think about it). I'm not depressed, but I do feel kinda apathetic b/c of my situation. I really need an accountability partner. Mine gave up. :[

2. My husband is a moron. I told him I wasn't moving. I told him why. We had a fight and it was misery. He threatened to divorce me if I didn't move. And now he's acting like nothing ever happened and I'm moving! I have kept my mouth shut and most likely will continue to do so. When I start school in August, he'll see. He's made plans to rent our house to his sister and he's talking about all the things we're doing in Germany... to everyone but me. He won't approach the subject with me. Denial? Stupidity? Spite? And I'm so sick of him yelling at me! Does he think I would move across the world to play wife when he treats me so bad? We don't even have you-know, so it's not like he's gonna miss that. Stupid stupid stupid!!! Both of us. This relationship sucks. :[

But I should go and police the house b/c he doesn't like a dirty house and will be King Crab all night if he has to deal with it. It's so unfair.

And I need accountability. Anyone willing? My life can't always suck! :]
 
As things settle down, I think it'll be easier for you to stick to. Just keep jumping in every day. If you have a timer, set a timer for 15 min and tell yourself you'll just walk, jog, jump in circles, whatever it is you like to do for at least 15 min. Then after 15 min, you might just figure you're already sweaty and just finish the workout :).

I don't know what to tell you about your husband. It can't be easy wondering when he'll finally decide to talk about it and bring it up.
 
notme said:
As things settle down, I think it'll be easier for you to stick to. Just keep jumping in every day. If you have a timer, set a timer for 15 min and tell yourself you'll just walk, jog, jump in circles, whatever it is you like to do for at least 15 min. Then after 15 min, you might just figure you're already sweaty and just finish the workout :).

I don't know what to tell you about your husband. It can't be easy wondering when he'll finally decide to talk about it and bring it up.
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I really really really hope to do this today. It just sucks waking up at 9 and the temps already 90 degrees. Ugh. Hello summer! So I'm postponing the exercise to nightime or whenever I can get to the gym. I do like your idea and plan to use it. Thankyou!
 
So the scale said 198 even this morning. Same as last Monday ('cept it's Tuesday, but you get the point). A gain isn't a loss but it isn't a gain, so this sistafriend is happy. :]

With my best friend coming into town, I feel a little nervous about our 3 days at the beach. This skinny thing popped out a kid with no stretch marks to be found, and went from a 4 to a 6, and on-the-whole is one hot momma. Good genetics and she's a vegetarian. I love her and she loves me (she flying to SC from LA!), but I feel bad being chubby with Miss Slim and Trim right next to me. Admittedly, I'm smaller than I used to be 3 years ago when we met and she knows I'm not a twig, but geez. Put a 16 next to a 6 and I'm gonna feel like a blob. Sorry, had to vent. Plus, due to circumstances beyond my control, my top is larger than my bottom, so I have some happenin' cleavage going on in my bathing suit. Wonder if I should flaunt it or hide it? She actually envies me this. I tell her to eat more. Ah, friendship. :rotflmao:

Nothing new to say about the hubby. 'Cept he's being all kissy and affectionate, but it's so fake. And I pretend not to notice. I mailed off my final transcript request today. Yeah! :jump: One more hurdle and a meeting of minds, and I'm set. I'm going to college. ~does happy dance~
 
way to go for all the positives in your life - you are totally awesome :D

don't worry about whatyou look like next yo yuor friend - you're pretty spectacular as you are.. you don'tneed to be a size 6 :D
 
My sister is the one that popped out two kids with no stretch marks. My first one and I haven't worn a bikini since. I wouldn't dare! I have some loose skin from my second one still, and she's three.

You'll look great at the beach and I say flaunt the cleavage!

Congrats on getting the transcripts in order. It's only a matter of time and you'll be a college graduate!
 
Thanks Notme and Maleficent!!!

I smiled so big I almost cried. Some tears leaked out. Such a combo of nerves. I'm a little edgy and pretty proud of myself at the same time.

I NEED to have my fun with my bestie. Hehe. :]
 
Congrats on getting your transcript request out. Don't worry about how your gonna look next to a size 6 on the beach. Relax and think positively (I know its easier said than done) and just enjoy the little time your going to have with your best friend. I agree with Notme I would go with flaunting the cleavage!
 
maleficent said:
way to go for all the positives in your life - you are totally awesome :D

don't worry about whatyou look like next yo yuor friend - you're pretty spectacular as you are.. you don'tneed to be a size 6 :D
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This is totally true girl - Ive been lurking but not posting...just stay true to yourself and what you want and need and what is important and best for hte children...do what oyu need to do and dont worry abt him
 
So I'm super busy and just taking a quick break to talk to my peeps. :]

Today my oldest turns 6. It seems so surreal. I remember when she was born and I was SO sick and in danger from toxemia. My hubby called his best friend and was scared I would die. I had an emergency c-section and things were rocky. There were 3 docs at my delivery (they ALL signed the baby book!) and atleast 4 nurses (hard to remember, everyone was in surgical wear). We both recovered fine. Except my body hasn't been the same since. On this day, and every day, I thank God we made it. My teary-eyed thought for the day.

The hubby is alternately cussing at me and cuddling me. I can't wait until this psycho leaves! He seems like a narcissist. Dunno if I spelled that right, but this dude has no idea he does anything wrong. At all. He's supremely confident in himself and only apologizes if it will benefit him. My defian thought for the day.

I'll check in later, but it may well be tomorrow. Gotta rush and clean for company. Thanks for being here!
 
Hey you - wow six - my oldest is turning 13 next month - eeekkk and my youngest is turning 3 - my oh my...the time sure flies hey...Have a great time today!!!
 
Hey,

Congrats on your daughters birthday. I'm sorry your Hubby is treating you like that. You don't deserve it. Keep up your wonderful positive thinking:)

ttyl
~Jenna
 
The scale said 197.4 this morning! Point 6 of me is gone! lol! :jump:

I one-upped the hubby in my own way. I try not to ask for anything. I really, really don't. I don't take money to party, get my hair and nails done, or buy things for the house. I have never had to pay a fine or a ticket, and I do not bounce checks. But I let this loser BLOW money. Sure, I call him on it, but he will not change! So my mom said it was time to do something for myself and I did. All summer long I have been wearing those cheap Wal-Mart shorts that are on sale for $7.88. My shirts always cost less than my shorts. I paid for this out of my allowance. (I take $100/mo for myself and usually end up spending it on house-hold stuff b/c my hubby breaks us.) Not today! Today I bought a pair of shorts and a skirt by LEI ($50) and 4 shirts from TJ Maxx ($35). I'm in style finally! I'll still be wearing my W-M shorts, but I have a little confidence that comes from dressing like my age group again. (I'm 24- in case you're curious)

On the diet and exercise front, I have nothing to report. I am ashamed. Someone get me in line!
 
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