ups and downs and shifting around

Eat healthy and exercise! Okay, that's all the butt kicking you get from me :).

My sister is a saver, like you are, and her husband is a spender, like yours is. She even does the selling plasma so she can have money to buy groceries right after he buys a new grill for his truck, or a new toy or IPOD or three weeks ago it was a moped for over 2000$. Yet, she cant afford to buy groceries. I see what it does to her. I'm sorry that you're going through the same thing. I hope that soon it gets better!!!
 
Hmm... guess I forgot to mention that those clothes I bought yesterday... I didn't pay for. It came out of our joint account. :] I'm saving my dollas to hang out with my best friend. She'll be here in a week!

The past 2 mornings the scale has read 197.4. Now, if I put a little energy behind myself, imagine what I can accomplish! I know 160 is just around the corner. I'd be happy with 180 right now. I also think I should start telling you guys what I eat again. Might help me stay in line.
 
Do you enter your food anywhere? I enter mine at mypyramidtracker.gov and lots of people use fitday. Even if you don't post it here, then at least you have some feedback as to how you're doing. I can track all nutrients for up to a year and see what my trend is like. I hate looking at my protien trend... It's depressing!

Seems like you don't spend much, if anything, from the joint account regularly, so it's definitely okay to do that once in a while. Especially if hubby is doing the same anyway... I'd do it. My first marriage, before he actually walked out, I unloaded our joint account and bought all sorts of stuff. Unfortunately by the time I did it, he had drained over half of it anyway and I didn't even know it. Made me feel no guilt when learning that!
 
Ok, I'm gonna go back to Sparkpeople and start putting my food in. It gets old though. I mean, I have to cook a lot, so how the heck can I input what I ate today!? I'm gonna try it anyway.

BF- coffee, milk, splenda, 2 pcs whole grain bread (french toast- made with egg, milk, cinnamon, and touch of sugar), sugar-free syrup
L- mac and cheese with tuna

That's it right now. Be back about dinner later.

I also spent some time this a.m. researching paralegals. I like the sound of it. Lots of work though. I don't mind working, I was really referring to the hours at work. Sounds like a full-time job across the board. Oh well. Can't make money any other way, huh? Starting salary around here is a little less than my hubby pulls in in the Army. Mind-blowing.
 
Yesterday's snack was some pretzel sticks and reduced sugar cherry-vanilla ice cream.
For dinner I had spaghetti.
Before the bar I had 3 1/2 Hooters cheesesticks and 5 Hooters wings.
At the bar I had a 32 oz draft Bud Light and 2 Smirnoff Ices.

This morning, quite understandably, I haven't eaten. I might try for lunch. I'm not hung-over, but I think I have a bug. Grrr....

My exercise is not existent, unless you count trecking across parking lots and shooting pool.

So, nothing new. The hubby didn't hug or kiss me when he came home from work and I didn't mind that. He didn't get offended by my low-cut shirt, even though he knew I was going to sports bar to shoot pool. He also did nothing around the house to help me out last night. even-steven.
 
BF- 2 graham bar cracker thingies (120 cals)
L- can of Progresso clam chowder
S- bag of popcorn
D- pot roast, carrots, mashed taters with cream of mushroom soup

Now I'm off to a party! Uh oh!
 
I hope you have fun at your party tonight! I'm just popping in quick, need sleep... I'll check in with you tomorrow or Monday and see how you're doing.
 
I ate at the party and I don't know what I ate to put it down. It was all this "authentic" (for lack of a better term) food that tasted wonderful! My best friend is half Mexican and her hubby is Mexican and they have the most beautiful baby! We celebrated his baptism and their second cousin's communion tonight. If this isn't making much sense, it's because of the 4 bud lights (followed by a sweet tea) that I also consumed. However, I danced for over an hour and sweated in the Southern heat. Maybe I cancelled it out? Not likely... lol! Regardless, I had a great night dancing and celebrating with my "other family." Memories like that can't be replaced. I'd rather deal with the calories than cheat on life.
 
196.8 this morning! Guess all that dancing helped me out! :jump:

I might try calorie counting to help me lose weight. I measured and calculated and all that junk, so something under/around 1545 would be good for me right now. Seems like a lot. ::shrugs::

BF- turkey bacon 105 cals
2 muffins 340 cals
1/2 cup 1% milk 55 cals
there's also coffee and splenda, which seem to have no cals
breakfast cal total: 500!

WOW! Ok, so now I see where counting cals comes in handy. It's 11:00 and I have 1000 left. Yikes! Of course, if I was more active, I could eat more cals.
 
heh heh heh - yup girl that is abt it - im never usually to concerned abt how much I do eat especially when good food because I am very active...
 
So I went to Sparkpeople to get a good idea on caloric needs and to input my food for some feedback. It's neat b/c I know where I'm lacking, like dietary fiber and vitamin C. Yesterday I went overboard on fat, but did optimum on carbs. ???? And I'm a carb-lover. Atleast it gets me thinking about what I'm eating and where that puts me. I went over my cal marks yesterday by 272. I can only improve from there!

I also did their little goal calculator. I wanted to set a goal for my birthday (Nov. 1), so I calculated that by losing 1 lb a week, I could be 173 in time for my birthday! Now I truly doubt that but right now it gives me something to look foward to. 1 lb a week. Not too hard. Right?

No exercise yesterday and my exercise today is just making it through life. I have the shakes and it'll only get worse tomorrow. Some of you may remember that I quit smoking in January. Well, after finding out we were moving to Germany and my hubby changed into a monster, I started back smoking. I quit [again] yesterday for myself. He quit too a few weeks back. I did it once, I can do it again, and I was SOOO stupid for going back.
 
SoSel said:
Well, after finding out we were moving to Germany and my hubby changed into a monster, I started back smoking. I quit [again] yesterday for myself. He quit too a few weeks back. I did it once, I can do it again, and I was SOOO stupid for going back.
Click to expand...

ooohhh girl ouchie:hug2::doh::hug2: I know you can do it again!!!
 
So yesterday evening the hubby and I got a job spreading 50 bales of pine straw in someone's yard. Made decent money, so we're happy. I worked and sweated and fought the shakes for 2 1/2 hours. THAT was my exercise.

Earlier in the day, I cleaned house. My best friend is coming so I'm cleaning any and every thing. Just want the house to look neat and orderly. Not that MY house ever has, but it gave me something to do.
Looks like quitting smoking is eaiser the second time. My urges to smoke are less.

I explained to the hubby again last night about going to college and staying here with the house and all. He's one pissed off person. At the end of last night he had my crying because he told me that he's ultimately just not happy with me and pretty much won't ever be. I have done everything for him for so long. My mind flashes back to the promise ring and the night he gave it to me. My engagement ring, my wedding band, our children... all these milestones that he will just toss to the side b/c he REFUSES to treat me better. And I cried so bitter, "it's all me and no one will ever love me. I'm broken."

Then I stopped that crap. Someone somewhere will love and appreciate my humor, my unwillingness to mop, my intelligence, my fears, my strengths, my size, and all that other stuff. AND I CANNOT WAIT TO FIND HIM! Go ahead, divorce me. ::breathes deep:: I'm gonna cry and doubt myself -what's new- but it's like being paroled. And one of these days, I won't have to report to him anymore and I can start again.

I don't want to try to make this work anymore. Should I?
 
Your broken but you will recover - I did and you can too - ive been there girl...in love wiht an sshole that cant treat me or my kids right - it is a hard path to walk but remeber the outcome will be better...
 
Baling! OMG Girl, you must be sore today! Definitely exercise.

I'm glad the quitting smoking is easier this time around. I still have cravings and it's been years, but they are very infrequent.

AND I'm proud of you for staying firm on going to college. You've done what you can with your marriage. If he's unwilling to make changes, then it's not on you anymore. If he's already decided he'll never be happy no matter what you do, you cant change him. It's his problem and he probably wont be happy with anyone until he changes his mind set. You, on the other hand, will be happy.
 
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