Time for Jenefer to Finally Figure this Out!

That's good you don't get too hung up on the full routine. I think it's good when exercise is kept at a level of joy so that it's actually something to look forward to and not just another stressor to add to the day! A flatter stomach is defintely a win!
This is a GREAT way to look at it Liza!!
 
Hello Everyone,
I only have a short time, but didn't want to skip another day. I did my entire workout yesterday and then today (like Liza and Em have mentioned thank you ladies for your support! :) ) I was okay with doing half of it. I did actually go to clean out a storage unit and that was a bit of a workout.

The big victory for today is that my differently wired brain brought me to my computer to just take a look at a work puzzle. I am always thinking about these puzzles and then when I am looking for a piece of that puzzle, well then I must go find it! BUT after 5 minutes, I said NO!! and I walked away. I am learning that when I do that, it gets easier to 'drop' whatever I am thinking about. I also have been doing the self-talk about "Don't get involved in X, Y or Z. That is someone else's responsibility. I did have a big win on something Friday that was my responsibility, careful planning etc. so I do indeed pull my weight.

Speaking of weight...today I feel like I am noticing my weight more, like I feel 'bulky' I am sure that is because the weather is getting warmer and summer clothes are different and they are from last year when I was a good 15 pounds (at least) thinner. But I can't focus on that in a negative way. I was going to have toast for breakfast, but opted for cereal with blueberries. Lunch was a steak sandwich, but I don't like mayo (which is good) so it really was just steak, cheese and bread. I did give William almost half of it.

Tonight we will go to dinner with my parents. I really do make an effort to do that regularly and the 4 of us do enjoy each other's company. So I guess that is the thing I am doing for myself today. Spend time with my parents because I am blessed to still have them both with me.

In a few minutes I will put some hot rollers in my hair, this humidity is a nightmare for it, so I will make a bit of an effort to look nice. That also helps with the feeling 'bulky'.

I am doing well, I have had a lot of self-reflection in this journey. I am staying positive even though I know this will not be a quick thing and I will likely have periods of feeling very uncomfortable about myself for a bit. But allowing that to derail me is not a good plan!

I hope you lovely people have had a good day, that you are being patient with yourselves (which is so hard) and making time to enjoy life, even if you are not 100% happy with yourselves at the moment too! xo
 
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"I hope you lovely people have had a good day, that you are being patient with yourselves (which is so hard) and making time to enjoy life, even if you are not 100% happy with yourselves at the moment too! xo"
I love that even when you are struggling a bit you can still be positive & encouraging. It really makes a difference xo
 
Hi Jen. Congrats on the big win on Friday and also for walking away from the call of the puzzle.

Sorry to hear you are not as comfortable in your summer clothes - girl, I know the feeling. But lovely to put hot rollers in your hair and make yourself feel good. Keep doing that.

Hope you enjoyed the dinner.
 
I'm sure you DO pull your weight. And, well, as long as we're heavier than we want to be that just means we're pulling more of it, right? :p
 
The big victory for today is that my differently wired brain brought me to my computer to just take a look at a work puzzle. I am always thinking about these puzzles and then when I am looking for a piece of that puzzle, well then I must go find it! BUT after 5 minutes, I said NO!! and I walked away. I am learning that when I do that, it gets easier to 'drop' whatever I am thinking about. I also have been doing the self-talk about "Don't get involved in X, Y or Z. That is someone else's responsibility. I did have a big win on something Friday that was my responsibility, careful planning etc. so I do indeed pull my weight.
That does sound like a big victory. Being able to shift our attention to where we actually want to put it is a great skill. Doing our part, but not overdoing it can be a hard balance to achieve but definitely sounds like you are getting there!
 
Hello Everyone,
Cate-thank you for your kind words, I think it helps to be positive as well! The journey is hard enough, why make it harder eh? ;) :)

Em-Thank you, it was nice to see some hard work come to fruition! And I agree doing little things to make ourselves feel good is the thing to do! I could actually write an entire post on the subject of my hair, lol! Another thing I seem to have a love/hate relationship with :LOL:

Llama- That is a good one! Yes pulling more weight than I would like to be pulling :ROFLMAO:

Liza- I have to say that it really was a big victory, and I think in some ways a big key to at least mitigating my anxiety a bit (y)(y)

It is going to be a very busy week, besides my typical Monday meeting, I have 3 more. All early in the morning. Which truthfully I would rather get them over with first thing, but they don't have to be at the crack of dawn! Does make it a bit harder to get the workout in, but I did do the walk-run, some abs and push-ups. I would like to work up to more of those. Food has not been too bad, there is nothing really that I totally don't eat, but just really in moderation. Like yesterday we went to lunch at a pizza place, the special was 2 pieces of pizza. I only ate one and gave the second one to William. This evening some chips were calling my name, but I said NO! And I brushed my teeth, which I really will not want to have to do again before bed, as that is a bit of a process. Trying to keep my mind on the end goal when these cravings happen, seems to help more often than not.

I am still happy that I bought some new work clothes, it will make things a bit easier when planning for these meetings this week. I do think it is important to still be able to feel like I look nice through this journey. I hope everyone else does too, punishing ourselves and/or denying ourselves things until we meet our goals will be no fun! Now I do have a dress from several years ago that I would like to fit into again, so that is what I will use as one of the carrots at the end of the stick :)

What else have I done nice for myself today? Well I am sitting for a bit in a cool room with a fan on me and watching one of my silly soaps and relaxing a bit! I hope you all had a lovely day and treated yourselves well! xo
 
I think it's important to treat ourselves well even (especially?) when we are far from our goals. I bought some nice clothes in my current size as I felt awful in my tight ones. Punishing ourselves never helps.
Hope your busy week is not stressful, Jen xo
 
Someone said you can't hate yourself into someone you love and I agree that's it's a lot harder to do kind, helpful things for myself (like making proper food!) when I don't like myself. Good job getting that workout in despite the meeting!
 
And I brushed my teeth, which I really will not want to have to do again before bed, as that is a bit of a process.
This made me curious. What is Jen's teeth-cleaning process like? :D

I'm over the denying myself things, although I don't put too much time into my appearance in general, even though it's probably one of the things that occupies my thoughts the most, which is an interesting dynamic to have! Glad you have a lovely new work outfit and are enjoying some downtime with the soaps!
 
Hello Wonderful People!
It has been one heck of a week, as I knew it would be. By the time I came home each day I was just exhausted. A lot of it was a waste of time and sitting around waiting, but that is the way that work and meetings goes sometimes. I will say there seems to be more of that now with the promotion, hope it slows down as it really does not suit me.

Some how I have managed to do almost the full workout every day and even took a bit of a longer walk with Casper at night. Eating has been so so, lots of junk around at work, but nothing out of hand. I was changing clothes the other day and I did notice that it looks like I am getting a waist back! I had no idea how much easier it was when I carried the weight in my bottom and thighs instead of my stomach!

Cate, Llama and Em-I am doing better with the treating myself well. To be fair that has been more about setting work boundaries than anything else and managing this differently wired brain of mine! I would say there was a period of time in my life (when I was younger), where I am a bit embarrassed to say I had very little problem putting my own needs first, quite honestly a bit too much. :oops: But I think in some ways that is what happens with extreme hyper-focus, you latch on to something and don't let go! I was pretty latched on to me apparently! Admittedly I miss being that person a bit.

I suppose now it is more about not being furious with myself for ending up in this position, because that mostly makes me stressed..which makes me snack, lol! And I think that during lock-down and then working from home, I kind of let putting time into my appearance go a bit, which I had never done before. When William see's me with make-up and hair done now, he does a double take. I don't think that is the best thing, not that I need to get 'all dolled up' every day or anything. It is more like giving my confidence a bit of a boost for myself and to remind my husband that I can actually still make a bit of an effort. :)

Em- I have so much dental work, it is like a bionic mouth! So it takes me about 25 minutes at night- use a WaterPik (the entire tank of water mixed with peroxide), special dental floss, various electric toothbrushes etc. it is an entire production!

So I need to get a bit more back on the health eating track, there was candy at the office and everyone was eating and talking. I didn't go nuts, but I did have some. Not as much fruit or vegetables as the prior weeks either. I probably also need to weigh myself again soon :ack2:

What am I going to do for myself today, stop work right on time! The day is done and I am going to relax. I hope all of you had a good week, put yourself first at least a little bit and enjoyed your Friday! xo
 
Have a lovely weekend Jen. I find the snacks at work very hard to resist too. Glad you are finishing work on time today and hope you feel rejuvenated after the weekend.
 
Hi jen,
Congrats on getting your full workouts in this week! You sound like you are finding a really good balance of meeting your own needs while also staying available to others. Great! That's nice your husband seems to notice and appreciates it when you put a little extra effort in. :)
 
Yay for getting your waist back! At the end of the day that's the only part of our weight that really matters, both for weight and for looks. Sounds like you're doing a lot better!
 
Getting your waist back is excellent. I used to carry my weight in my hips & thighs but it's now more on my waist & that is not healthy. Well done, you!
Well done on leaving work on time. Finding balance is one of the hardest things in life.
 
Hello Lovely People!

Em, Liza, Llama and Cate-thank you for your kind words and support, it really feels nice to open my diary and see them here! Sorry I have been away a few days! The weekend started strangely. I looked at a toy poodle puppy, thought I was going to get her, but then changed my mind. She was a cutie, but just not what I wanted. Then out of the blue another opportunity presented itself and I went running off to check that one out. That was more promising. I just miss having a little companion so much it is driving me mad!

Then this is my busiest time of year at work, at the end of the day I don't even want to touch a computer!

Cate did you find it really 'different' to have the weight shift? It just feels so odd to me!

I have still managed some kind of workout every day. Today though I gave in to my differently wired brain, sat down for just a few minutes, when I looked up it was noon! Tsk Tsk bad me! I did do a fun step aerobics YouTube video yesterday and I do feel that in my butt and legs, so that was good! I was a huge step fan from the mid 90's-about 2008 when the classes were hard to find. YouTube is great for that kind of thing! Food has not been bad, what is weird is that I used to want sweets, now my downfall seems to be chips. I have not gone crazy with them though!

Soooo what have I done for myself today, I did stop work pretty much on time. And I am relaxing for a bit. Sometimes that is all it takes to show yourself some love, nothing fancy! I hope you all are doing well and having some fun along this journey!
 
Looks to me like you did very well! Especially making time for a workout after the morning ran away from you like that.
 
Jen, I don't like having weight around my middle at all. I know it's the worst place to have it. I remember when it happened to my Mum, probably when she was about my current age. She was always underweight. She hated it too.
Do you have an animal rescue near you? I still get notifications of dogs up for adoption & see so many cuties. My Arch is so happy that I don't want to put him out.
 
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