Time for Jenefer to Finally Figure this Out!
- Thread starter Jenefer
- Start date
That really made me laugh! That's so interesting that you like the English soaps. They are definitely a switch-off for the brain and I guess there is something soothing about following the same characters every week. I watch enough TV so soaps are to be avoided, haha.Closing thoughts: Sometimes life is hard. We just want someone to give us a hug. Tell us everything will be o.k. Give us a bit of chocolate and 6 million dollars. Find the humor where you can folks!!
Jenefer
Active member
Glad you found it funny Em, it was one of those things I saw that really made me laugh too! I certainly do find it comforting following the same character every week. And I think since they take place in little villages in a different country (very different from where I live) , it really is an escape. I actually like a lot of the British crime thriller series too.
Jenefer
Active member
I just found out that a new person we just hired to be on my team is a professional gamer on the side. I thought that was pretty cool. Are you watching them play in person or online? For some reason I love the name ZeldaNothing wrong with a bit of mindless entertainment! I hope so, anyway, because I'm watching people play the new Zelda game
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Jenefer
Active member
I was thinking today about my 'weight loss approach' for lack of a better way to describe it today. And in some ways it does seem like there isn't really a plan but to not stress about it. Then again that is what happened when I really did lose weight that just fell off of my body. I did start running because my gym closed and I wanted to find a quick and efficient way to exercise. I was focused on that, but not stressed. I do think that I became more 'connected' to my body during the process of getting to a point of running 5 miles a day with no extreme level of effort (I sure could not do that now). And I think I ate only when I was hungry and that I really knew when I was hungry because of that mind body connection. So I suppose I am trying to recreate that.
I had no special diet, nothing I did or did not eat, it was so odd. People would ask me what I was doing and when I told them what I wrote here I don't think they really believed me. I actually over heard some people at my former job saying I had an eating disorder. The irony was that it was the most mentally healthy attitude I had with food in years!
You know the absolute best feeling ever? Having to get ready for something, like going out to dinner, and knowing that absolutely whatever I was going to 'slip' on would be perfect. It is amazing how starting things off right....before you even step out the door, sets the stage for a nice time. Not having to make sure the material was 'thick enough' to hide things was also a bonus!
I have never had a fat stomach, even when I was heavier at different points in my life, the weight was more in my thighs and butt. Now it it is in my lower belly, which I do know is not healthy. But it is also makes it harder to find things to wear and and when I sit across from someone, I feel very self conscious about it. I also know you can't 'spot' lose weight, but I will be very happy if that is the first to go!
I wrote this journal entry to remind myself that what was effective was not constantly being stressed obsessive and wanted to remember the way it felt to not have a challenge with finding pretty things to wear that I felt comfortable in. And to remember that I can do this, I have done it before and I will do it again. As far as I know, we only get one shot at this life, and I want to do something for myself that makes it easier to enjoy the little things in life...like slipping on a little strapless sundress, some high heels and going out on a date with my husband.
I hope you all found some joy in your day, were able to focus on something positive to help you visualize your goals and if something got you down or off track, that you remember you get another shot at it all tomorrow!
today. And in some ways it does seem like there isn't really a plan but to not stress about it. Then again that is what happened when I really did lose weight that just fell off of my body. I did start running because my gym closed and I wanted to find a quick and efficient way to exercise. I was focused on that, but not stressed. I do think that I became more 'connected' to my body during the process of getting to a point of running 5 miles a day with no extreme level of effort (I sure could not do that now). And I think I ate only when I was hungry and that I really knew when I was hungry because of that mind body connection. So I suppose I am trying to recreate that.I had no special diet, nothing I did or did not eat, it was so odd. People would ask me what I was doing and when I told them what I wrote here I don't think they really believed me. I actually over heard some people at my former job saying I had an eating disorder. The irony was that it was the most mentally healthy attitude I had with food in years!
You know the absolute best feeling ever? Having to get ready for something, like going out to dinner, and knowing that absolutely whatever I was going to 'slip' on would be perfect. It is amazing how starting things off right....before you even step out the door, sets the stage for a nice time. Not having to make sure the material was 'thick enough' to hide things was also a bonus!
I have never had a fat stomach, even when I was heavier at different points in my life, the weight was more in my thighs and butt. Now it it is in my lower belly, which I do know is not healthy. But it is also makes it harder to find things to wear and and when I sit across from someone, I feel very self conscious about it. I also know you can't 'spot' lose weight, but I will be very happy if that is the first to go!
I wrote this journal entry to remind myself that what was effective was not constantly being stressed obsessive and wanted to remember the way it felt to not have a challenge with finding pretty things to wear that I felt comfortable in. And to remember that I can do this, I have done it before and I will do it again. As far as I know, we only get one shot at this life, and I want to do something for myself that makes it easier to enjoy the little things in life...like slipping on a little strapless sundress, some high heels and going out on a date with my husband.
I hope you all found some joy in your day, were able to focus on something positive to help you visualize your goals and if something got you down or off track, that you remember you get another shot at it all tomorrow!
Cate
Long term member
I love that you have such a healthy attitude to weight loss/diet. Being stressed and/or obsessive is not good for any of us.
I love this
& I love your last paragraphs. You are well & truly adding a positive vibe to our forum, Jen.
Llama
Well-known member
Another wonderful post!
Jenefer said: I had no special diet, nothing I did or did not eat, it was so odd. People would ask me what I was doing and when I told them what I wrote here I don't think they really believed me.
In my experience when people ask that question it's because they want to know your "trick". They don't want to hear that weightloss is a result of eating reasonable amounts of mostly healthyish food and noving somewhat regularly over a longer period of time and so they don't believe you and make up stories
Jenefer said: I had no special diet, nothing I did or did not eat, it was so odd. People would ask me what I was doing and when I told them what I wrote here I don't think they really believed me.
In my experience when people ask that question it's because they want to know your "trick". They don't want to hear that weightloss is a result of eating reasonable amounts of mostly healthyish food and noving somewhat regularly over a longer period of time and so they don't believe you and make up stories
Jenefer
Active member
Thank you so much Cate! I think that the support that I am receiving here on this forum is really helping me get all my thoughts 'out' in a safe space that is allowing me to think through what I am doing. I DO NOT talk about any of this, but here I can. So thank you very much for helping me to continue on this new path of communication, that quite frankly I was quite afraid of doing. I joined the forum well before I ever made my first postI love that you have such a healthy attitude to weight loss/diet. Being stressed and/or obsessive is not good for any of us.
I love this
& I love your last paragraphs. You are well & truly adding a positive vibe to our forum, Jen.
Jenefer
Active member
Thank you Llama, I appreciate your kindness! And I think you are correct! I used to work in a place that also housed a medical clinic. Before the clinic began seeing patients, I would periodically go and weigh myself. I literally heard people standing outside of the room were I was weighing myself talking about the fact that I had clearly developed an eating disorder and that is why I was weighing myself. Medical professionals mind you. Needless to say, I never made use of that scale again!Another wonderful post!
Jenefer said: I had no special diet, nothing I did or did not eat, it was so odd. People would ask me what I was doing and when I told them what I wrote here I don't think they really believed me.
In my experience when people ask that question it's because they want to know your "trick". They don't want to hear that weightloss is a result of eating reasonable amounts of mostly healthyish food and noving somewhat regularly over a longer period of time and so they don't believe you and make up stories
Jenefer
Active member
Speaking of weighing myself today I actually did, I was brave enough to do so. I needed to wait until I felt I could handle the number on the scale without totally freaking out. I had a rough idea of what I weighed, I think I wrote 170 but it is 176, so I was not terribly far off. I have been this heavy one other time in my life. And that actually is something I am going to talk a bit about today.
I don't know if most folks here I have struggled with their weight most of their lives, or perhaps it is a new thing for you. For me it has been my entire life, but I have never been above some place in the '170's' and it is always where I realize that it is not a healthy weight for me. I sincerely mean the for me. There are folks for who 170 would be great. I do not have a 'big frame.' Years ago I was friends with a woman who to me looked a lot like me. She weighed 145 pounds and I weighed at the time 119 pounds. Visually there was very little difference in the way we looked. We even wore the same size, I know because we went clothes shopping together. So my point is that I do believe what is on the scale is just a number that may or may not be good for a specific person's body/frame. I would never have believed my friend outweighed me by about 25 pounds until she told me. I don't know if it makes sense, but I don't believe my actual bones weigh very much, so at 176...it really is all extra padding. I write this because again I have been on this rodeo before (a time or 2) and I know where I feel physically comfortable. The weight that works for me, may not work for someone else at all.
I was this heavy when I graduated from high school, that sure wasn't fun! But I lost 30 pounds my freshman year of college, again without really trying ,no strict diet or anything. I think I stayed around 140 up until shortly after I got married at the age of 26. Cooking big meals after we got engaged and as a newlywed, skipping exercise to hang out with my husband and getting a job that required some long hours packed on the pounds pretty quickly and I was back up to about 175.
And there is a memory about that time that for some reason has stuck with me. My husband never mentions my weight (if I gain any) obviously he notices. If I lose it, he will compliment me. So after about a year of marriage, I gained this weight and we were invited to a really nice wedding in Las Vegas. Of course then there is the struggle to find something to wear, worked through that process ok. and felt pretty ok with how I looked. We were standing at the bar waiting for a drink and a pretty woman about 24 years old wearing a very fitted red dress walked up to the bar. The bartender immediately made eye contact with her and asked her what she wanted, even though she was waaaay behind other people. My husband grumbled to me "yeah serve the young pretty woman and make the rest of us wait." I was standing there with my new husband feeling very much like I was not the 'young pretty one.' If anything I was only about 2 years older than this woman, but clearly was not 'in her league.' This memory is from 22 years ago, but it is vivid, not just the visual memory, but the way it made me feel.
I did lose some of the weight through an extreme amount of hard work, stress, diet and exercise and to my horror now, diet pills that I now know were dangerous! And stayed about 140-145 until I was 36. That is when the transformation from what felt like out of no where happened. And I was about 119-135 pounds for about 8 years. Well one day my husband and I went to a restaurant with a pretty nice bar. We had to wait for a table so went to the bar. It was kind of a rainy day, so I had my hair up in a ball cap, and was wearing a sweatshirt over my rather fitted tank top and jeans. I walked up to wait in line at the bar, took the cap off my head to let my hair fall down, sweatshirt off..looked up and the bartender asked ME what he could get for me. Here I was 38 years old reliving that moment from 12 years earlier. Now to be clear I do not think that kind of behavior is right, no one should ever be given preferential treatment for the way that they look it is rude and I told the bartender I wasn't ready to order yet. But my husband was there the first time I was upset and he was there 12 years later and that is certainly one of my better memories.
I got a new boss at my old job, she was in all honesty some kind of sociopath. Every single one of her direct reports quit or got transferred. I put on a good 30 pounds before I quit as well after 5 years of working for her. Took 10 months off, and lost about 15 pounds with the same approach I am trying now.
So this is my history and I can tell from writing this and going over things in my head that stress, anxiety, at times feeling bad about myself, working insane hours to fill in the gaps left by other people...that is what causes my weight gain. When I make myself a priority and set some reasonable boundaries, then my weight adjusts itself. When I don't do things to take care of myself, work 12 and 16 hour days, get angry about having to do that, grab a handful of chips to escape from the next task or chore...well 176 here you are again my old friend, who I hope is not here to stay, lol!
If you read this long rambling post thank you! I really am using this space to work through emotions and memories that I try very hard to not think about, I realize now both the good and the bad. The bad...well because they make me feel bad! But the good kind of make me feel bad because well that time has passed. But I realize that to look at things factually in order to connect the dots and find the patterns is the only way forward! I have used this kind of tool to work through anxiety and I suppose it is time to peel back this 'layer of the onion' too.
Cate you are spot on with your signature as well: Be kind, not only to others but to yourself. Self-care is not selfish.~
Self-care is not selfish and at times I am rubbish at it! And when you are rubbish at it, I believe quite frankly it becomes easy for other to manipulate that a bit.
Now I am off to finish my exercise, I wanted to get this all down while it was fresh in my mind. Very unfortunately my parents are both not feeling fabulous (nothing serious, just a cold) but have asked to postpone the Mother's Day celebration. My husband had already left to spend the day with his mother, she lives about 3 hours away. So that means I have the entire day to myself, which almost never happens, so I am going to enjoy it!
I hope all of you find something to enjoy today. I realized recently that Mother's Day is not celebrated on the same day throughout the world, but if it is something you celebrate then I hope that whatever you do is lovely! And if you have a slice of cake or some other treat, ENJOY it! Deprivation doesn't usually seem to work for most of us! Llama nails this one "A half-way decent diet you can sustain long-term beats a perfect one you can't stick to."
I don't know if most folks here I have struggled with their weight most of their lives, or perhaps it is a new thing for you. For me it has been my entire life, but I have never been above some place in the '170's' and it is always where I realize that it is not a healthy weight for me. I sincerely mean the for me. There are folks for who 170 would be great. I do not have a 'big frame.' Years ago I was friends with a woman who to me looked a lot like me. She weighed 145 pounds and I weighed at the time 119 pounds. Visually there was very little difference in the way we looked. We even wore the same size, I know because we went clothes shopping together. So my point is that I do believe what is on the scale is just a number that may or may not be good for a specific person's body/frame. I would never have believed my friend outweighed me by about 25 pounds until she told me. I don't know if it makes sense, but I don't believe my actual bones weigh very much, so at 176...it really is all extra padding. I write this because again I have been on this rodeo before (a time or 2) and I know where I feel physically comfortable. The weight that works for me, may not work for someone else at all.
I was this heavy when I graduated from high school, that sure wasn't fun! But I lost 30 pounds my freshman year of college, again without really trying ,no strict diet or anything. I think I stayed around 140 up until shortly after I got married at the age of 26. Cooking big meals after we got engaged and as a newlywed, skipping exercise to hang out with my husband and getting a job that required some long hours packed on the pounds pretty quickly and I was back up to about 175.
And there is a memory about that time that for some reason has stuck with me. My husband never mentions my weight (if I gain any) obviously he notices. If I lose it, he will compliment me. So after about a year of marriage, I gained this weight and we were invited to a really nice wedding in Las Vegas. Of course then there is the struggle to find something to wear, worked through that process ok. and felt pretty ok with how I looked. We were standing at the bar waiting for a drink and a pretty woman about 24 years old wearing a very fitted red dress walked up to the bar. The bartender immediately made eye contact with her and asked her what she wanted, even though she was waaaay behind other people. My husband grumbled to me "yeah serve the young pretty woman and make the rest of us wait." I was standing there with my new husband feeling very much like I was not the 'young pretty one.' If anything I was only about 2 years older than this woman, but clearly was not 'in her league.' This memory is from 22 years ago, but it is vivid, not just the visual memory, but the way it made me feel.
I did lose some of the weight through an extreme amount of hard work, stress, diet and exercise and to my horror now, diet pills that I now know were dangerous! And stayed about 140-145 until I was 36. That is when the transformation from what felt like out of no where happened. And I was about 119-135 pounds for about 8 years. Well one day my husband and I went to a restaurant with a pretty nice bar. We had to wait for a table so went to the bar. It was kind of a rainy day, so I had my hair up in a ball cap, and was wearing a sweatshirt over my rather fitted tank top and jeans. I walked up to wait in line at the bar, took the cap off my head to let my hair fall down, sweatshirt off..looked up and the bartender asked ME what he could get for me. Here I was 38 years old reliving that moment from 12 years earlier. Now to be clear I do not think that kind of behavior is right, no one should ever be given preferential treatment for the way that they look it is rude and I told the bartender I wasn't ready to order yet. But my husband was there the first time I was upset and he was there 12 years later and that is certainly one of my better memories.
I got a new boss at my old job, she was in all honesty some kind of sociopath. Every single one of her direct reports quit or got transferred. I put on a good 30 pounds before I quit as well after 5 years of working for her. Took 10 months off, and lost about 15 pounds with the same approach I am trying now.
So this is my history and I can tell from writing this and going over things in my head that stress, anxiety, at times feeling bad about myself, working insane hours to fill in the gaps left by other people...that is what causes my weight gain. When I make myself a priority and set some reasonable boundaries, then my weight adjusts itself. When I don't do things to take care of myself, work 12 and 16 hour days, get angry about having to do that, grab a handful of chips to escape from the next task or chore...well 176 here you are again my old friend, who I hope is not here to stay, lol!
If you read this long rambling post thank you! I really am using this space to work through emotions and memories that I try very hard to not think about, I realize now both the good and the bad. The bad...well because they make me feel bad! But the good kind of make me feel bad because well that time has passed. But I realize that to look at things factually in order to connect the dots and find the patterns is the only way forward! I have used this kind of tool to work through anxiety and I suppose it is time to peel back this 'layer of the onion' too.
Cate you are spot on with your signature as well: Be kind, not only to others but to yourself. Self-care is not selfish.~
Self-care is not selfish and at times I am rubbish at it! And when you are rubbish at it, I believe quite frankly it becomes easy for other to manipulate that a bit.
Now I am off to finish my exercise, I wanted to get this all down while it was fresh in my mind. Very unfortunately my parents are both not feeling fabulous (nothing serious, just a cold) but have asked to postpone the Mother's Day celebration. My husband had already left to spend the day with his mother, she lives about 3 hours away. So that means I have the entire day to myself, which almost never happens, so I am going to enjoy it!
I hope all of you find something to enjoy today. I realized recently that Mother's Day is not celebrated on the same day throughout the world, but if it is something you celebrate then I hope that whatever you do is lovely! And if you have a slice of cake or some other treat, ENJOY it! Deprivation doesn't usually seem to work for most of us! Llama nails this one "A half-way decent diet you can sustain long-term beats a perfect one you can't stick to."
Llama
Well-known member
More insightful posts! I'm really missing the quote option so I'll just recap:
- I work in healthcare and definitely used the scales at work if I was in a place where we had them and I didn't have any at home. What strange colleagues you must have had!
- General well-being makes a huge difference for me in my ability to maintain/lose weight. Sounds to me you have a lot of insight in your strengths and weaknesses and knowing where you are is maybe the most important part of getting to where you want to be.
- I work in healthcare and definitely used the scales at work if I was in a place where we had them and I didn't have any at home. What strange colleagues you must have had!
- General well-being makes a huge difference for me in my ability to maintain/lose weight. Sounds to me you have a lot of insight in your strengths and weaknesses and knowing where you are is maybe the most important part of getting to where you want to be.
Jenefer
Active member
They were indeed an unusual bunch LLama! From reading your posts I think you and I have a lot in common, you also seem to have a lot of insight into yourself and what makes you 'tick.' So I think between knowing ourselves and having the right support, we are on the right path 
What a fantastic post, Jen. A lot to unpack there.
I always remember a male friend of mine in college who was a) good-looking b) really smart and c) really kind - laughing one evening because a pretty(ish) girl he worked with who was also in our gang had a complete strop about someone ignoring her during their working day and he was like, 'Do you realise how often I get ignored?' That's always resonated with me. It doesn't mean anything! But when you're younger, I understand how much it resonates.
Anyway, keep up the good work and I look forward to learning more.
I always remember a male friend of mine in college who was a) good-looking b) really smart and c) really kind - laughing one evening because a pretty(ish) girl he worked with who was also in our gang had a complete strop about someone ignoring her during their working day and he was like, 'Do you realise how often I get ignored?' That's always resonated with me. It doesn't mean anything! But when you're younger, I understand how much it resonates.
Anyway, keep up the good work and I look forward to learning more.
Llama
Well-known member
Jenefer said: So I think between knowing ourselves and having the right support, we are on the right path
Cate said: It gets harder to lose the older you get. If I had never "dieted" I wouldn't have this battle.
For me both of these are true, even though they ought to be mutually exclusive. It seems to get harder each time to a) get out of my unhealthy habits and b) stay the (healthy) course long enough to really get to where I want to be.
Probably in part because I'm more aware of the likelihood of disappointment, in part because as I get older I'm less likely to regularly and unthinkingly engage in the kind of activities that burn a lot of energy in a fun way, and in part just because the grooves of habit run deeper over time. But it's still worth doing, because if I'd stayed in my comfy, inactive, chocolate-greased groove 25 years ago I'd probably weigh 40 kilos more than I do now. And I see enough patients at or around that weight to know what that would have meant for my health and happiness.
Cate said: It gets harder to lose the older you get. If I had never "dieted" I wouldn't have this battle.
For me both of these are true, even though they ought to be mutually exclusive. It seems to get harder each time to a) get out of my unhealthy habits and b) stay the (healthy) course long enough to really get to where I want to be.
Probably in part because I'm more aware of the likelihood of disappointment, in part because as I get older I'm less likely to regularly and unthinkingly engage in the kind of activities that burn a lot of energy in a fun way, and in part just because the grooves of habit run deeper over time. But it's still worth doing, because if I'd stayed in my comfy, inactive, chocolate-greased groove 25 years ago I'd probably weigh 40 kilos more than I do now. And I see enough patients at or around that weight to know what that would have meant for my health and happiness.
Jenefer
Active member
Hello my friends!Jenefer said: So I think between knowing ourselves and having the right support, we are on the right path
Cate said: It gets harder to lose the older you get. If I had never "dieted" I wouldn't have this battle.
For me both of these are true, even though they ought to be mutually exclusive. It seems to get harder each time to a) get out of my unhealthy habits and b) stay the (healthy) course long enough to really get to where I want to be.
Probably in part because I'm more aware of the likelihood of disappointment, in part because as I get older I'm less likely to regularly and unthinkingly engage in the kind of activities that burn a lot of energy in a fun way, and in part just because the grooves of habit run deeper over time. But it's still worth doing, because if I'd stayed in my comfy, inactive, chocolate-greased groove 25 years ago I'd probably weigh 40 kilos more than I do now. And I see enough patients at or around that weight to know what that would have meant for my health and happiness.
Cate and Llama- what is it about that expression hindsight is 2020 that is both kind of annoying but also so true! I really would love to be able to go back and talk to my younger self for a day and with the benefit of many years of life and a fair amount of years of therapy, give me some real advice. Because as you both said...it is not getting any easier, those grooves of habit are pretty ingrained that is for sure! I also have to admit that when I got off of the scale the first thing I felt was a fleeting sense of fear (that has returned a few times) of being afraid of being disappointed and not being able to do it this time. But you are right Llama, it is worth doing at any age, and 25 years ago you made a good choice to fight the good fight!
Em you make a good point, everyone gets ignored and that is important to remember, some things just aren't personal, even though they feel like they are! I wasn't upset at the bartender ignoring me, I doubt I would have noticed, lol! I think the part that hurt was feeling a bit like my new husband had already seemed to lump me into the 'meh you're rather average' category.
So today I had to go into the office for a bit. And for some reason the meeting ran later than expected and let's just say there were some aggravations. Now..I have a terrible habit of having conversations in my head with other people to 'be prepared.'
You all may have seen that meme, "hypothetical arguments I have won in the shower, volume 1 of 16" It exhausts me before the first interaction even begins! I got really hungry during the meeting, which I almost never feel hungry, and by the time I got home I was looking for something to calm me down and to be fair I was hungry. My lovely neighbor brought over a big box with several candy bars in it. I ate one. Now I am not at all upset about eating a 120 calorie candy bar. There were 3, I ate one the rest remained.
What I am not happy with is my groove habit that led me to the candy bar! After I ate half of it, I thought well put it down, make a cup of coffee and enjoy the rest. You can have a candy bar, it is not going to banish you to fatdom forever. You CANNOT grab random food to disassociate from being anxious and/or irritated from some interaction or other that you have just had. You have a propensity to be anxious and/or irritated from random interaction quite regularly and that WILL banish you to being and feeling a way that you do not want to be! I am not the big binge kind of over eater, I am the 'death of a healthy diet by a thousand snacks throughout the day' kind of snacker. And the older I get, the more my metabolism slows down and I cannot 'accommodate' that way of being.
I hope all of you had some small victories today and if you slipped off the path a bit, but you learned something from it, than count that as a victory too! xo
Cate
Long term member
"I am not the big binge kind of over eater, I am the 'death of a healthy diet by a thousand snacks throughout the day' kind of snacker. And the older I get, the more my metabolism slows down and I cannot 'accommodate' that way of being."
Sounds like me. I really have to find a way of getting back on track. It does get harder & harder. We can do it though.
Sounds like me. I really have to find a way of getting back on track. It does get harder & harder. We can do it though.
Jenefer
Active member
Hello Everyone,
I apologize in advance for not being my chipper positive self. I believe one of the most humiliating and odd things just happened to me. My husband and I were just walking our dogs. My toy poodle is 17 years old and gets tired, so I have a sling that I wear across my body and put her in it. I also have on the other side of me and old nylon purse that I have her leash, poo bags, house keys etc in. So it is not the most attractive look with 2 'carrying bags' across me cross-wise. My do who weighs about 10 pounds was in the sling.
Two other neighbors are talking and then one yells over to me and my husband, "it's getting close now!" We kind of looked perplexed. But kept walking. He said "how much longer now?" And we said "huh?" And he made a motion like rocking a baby. So in front of my husband and another neighbor this guy was basically saying he thought I was pregnant and apparently like close to 9 months pregnant! My husband laughed and said "No no, don't curse us!" and I was like "I am carrying a dog across my stomach!" And we kept walking. I kept asking my husband do I look pregnant? And he was rather vague and saying I don't know what he is talking about.
I am 50 years old
I literally had an animal strapped across my belly
WTF??
Sorry folks, this one was just too humiliating to be positive, I mean why couldn't I have at least been by myself.
Yeah...this weight is going to have to go. I really didn't even want to write about this, but then I thought...maybe someone hear can understand how terrible and embarrassing and humiliating this felt. Even if nothing like this has happened to anyone else (and I hope the heck it hasn't) the shame and just awfulness of it.
No matter what...I wish you peace on your journey. I will try to process this, but I think much like some of my other memories, this is one that is going to last.
I apologize in advance for not being my chipper positive self. I believe one of the most humiliating and odd things just happened to me. My husband and I were just walking our dogs. My toy poodle is 17 years old and gets tired, so I have a sling that I wear across my body and put her in it. I also have on the other side of me and old nylon purse that I have her leash, poo bags, house keys etc in. So it is not the most attractive look with 2 'carrying bags' across me cross-wise. My do who weighs about 10 pounds was in the sling.
Two other neighbors are talking and then one yells over to me and my husband, "it's getting close now!" We kind of looked perplexed. But kept walking. He said "how much longer now?" And we said "huh?" And he made a motion like rocking a baby. So in front of my husband and another neighbor this guy was basically saying he thought I was pregnant and apparently like close to 9 months pregnant! My husband laughed and said "No no, don't curse us!" and I was like "I am carrying a dog across my stomach!" And we kept walking. I kept asking my husband do I look pregnant? And he was rather vague and saying I don't know what he is talking about.
I am 50 years old
I literally had an animal strapped across my belly
WTF??
Sorry folks, this one was just too humiliating to be positive, I mean why couldn't I have at least been by myself.
Yeah...this weight is going to have to go. I really didn't even want to write about this, but then I thought...maybe someone hear can understand how terrible and embarrassing and humiliating this felt. Even if nothing like this has happened to anyone else (and I hope the heck it hasn't) the shame and just awfulness of it.
No matter what...I wish you peace on your journey. I will try to process this, but I think much like some of my other memories, this is one that is going to last.
