Honey,
FIRST, i want to give you the biggest hug ever.
*hug*
SECOND, you had a really really bad day. I really understand what you feel, tomorrow i have to go to the hospital too and i perfectly understand all your fears and anxieties.
Do not blame yourself too much. Maybe you have lost one battle but, baby, you were doing an amazing work and you were definitely winning the war AND you can still win the entire war. So, get again on your horse and start again to fight!
I'm with you.