MasterofJune's Diary *There is no spoon*

MasterofJune said:
Thoughts for the day -

After starting this change in my life, I have been looking back on the past. I thought about what would be a normal day of food for me without any exercise at all and here is what I came up with.


A couple of big bowls of cereal with 2 % milk. Preferably Cap'n Crunch or something like that. 2 cups of coffee with a lot of sugar, and half and half.

Lunch would consist of whatever the kids were eating at school that day, but in double portions.

Example. 2 1/4 lb cheeseburgers with mayo and ketchup. big salad with bacon, eggs, cheese and French dressing. Large order of French Fries with mayo & ketchup. 2 cartons of milk. 2 pieces of chocolate cake.

3:30 snack - big bowl of chips and a soda.

dinner - 2 big pieces lasagna, 4 pieces garlic butter bread. Big bowl of ice cream.

Before bed snack - bowl of cereal, maybe two.

Rinse and repeat.

Thinking about this, I feel sick to my stomach. I can't believe I let it go that long.

Off for my walk.
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The thing to focus on is that while that is in your past, and you're not proud of it, you've stopped the unhealthy eating/lifestyle and are now eating and exercising the way you should be. That is something to be very of proud of (pardon the ending of the sentence with a prepositon..lol). Learn from the past, and create a brilliant future. :hug2:
 
Wow, that is some list. When I was single my list was pretty similar to yours. I had the cereal eating problem at night too. These days I rarely eat cereal, I do crave it sometimes though. Have a great walk.
 
Ahh Dan a fellow fan of the cheeseburger.

It is an evil entity meant to clog our hearts and shorten our lives but oh how good it tastes!

LOL.

Seriously though its good that we have kicked that addiction.

As for your walks I can only post one of my favorite movie quotes for you but change it a bit for diary specific purposes since in our diaries we get to be the heroes heh heh.

Its a dangerous business MasterofJune, going out of your door, you step onto the road and if you don't keep your feet, there's no telling where you might be swept off to.
 
Cheeseburger fan here too. Better yet, bacon cheeseburger. Just typing that makes me feel like a fat ass :). Thank god I've finally kicked that habit. It really is amazing how relatively easy it is once you've truly committed yourself to change. Having a great bunch of people here being supportive doesn't hurt either. I don't have much time to post this evening, but just wanted to stop by and throw some positive energy your way.
 
So I stumbled into the diary section for pretty much the first time ever because the rest of the forum is dead, and yours happened to be the first one I decided to read...and I read all of it. You had a very compelling opening because all of us think those things; I still try to fight off thoughts like that, especially at the gym with all the skinny girls working out in their short shorts. You are doing amazingly well. Way to put up with the heat, you are obviously stronger than I am. I'll exercise no problem inside, but the heat just does me in. Hot yoga is not on my to-do list. :rolleyes:
 
Thanks for posting here Pennybear. I am still having to face everything head on, and trying not to think that people are looking at me that way. It's hard sometimes, but now that I have changed my life, are starting to seem diluted.
Update...

I weighed myself again today...I need to try to stop doing that so often...

2 more pounds gone! Yaaay!
 
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MasterofJune said:
Thanks for posting here Pennybear. I am still having to face everything head on, and trying not to think that people are looking at me that way. It's hard sometimes, but now that I have changed my life, are starting to seem diluted.
Update...

I weighed myself again today...I need to try to stop doing that so often...

2 more pounds gone! Yaaay!
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It's ok to weigh yourself everyday. I thought the same thing but then it seemed like everytime I stepped on and saw I had lost some more, it gave me inspiration to repeat it again the next day. Keep on keepin on man:beerchug:
 
I try not to weigh myself everyday Paul, because I like to see more results. I try for once a week...

Upon thinking about this though, I decided to weigh myself every three days, to try to catch a plateau before it hits. The thinking is that if i stop seeing a weight loss, no matter how small I can act immediately, and force the change.

Updates -

I didn't walk the past two nights to give my body some rest. I have been researching, and most of the research says to rest a couple of nights a week...I am getting ready for my walk as I type this.

I went out to dinner last night with my in-laws (which is cool, btw...I love my in-laws). We just had a brand new pizza parlor open up on our street. I actually ate some red meat...I didn't go over my caloric intake though, as I still fell at right under 1800 cals. But...my fat intake was a little high. But damn, that pizza was bad ass. It's a Greek pizza joint. Awesome. I have some leftovers, but don't worry. I am giving them to some friends tonight. I just can't eat red meat anymore. I have been without it for 7 weeks now, and my bowels have been punishing me for it...rudely.

I have been studying astrology recently, and some creepy schtuff was going on in the month of August and my sign (Virgo), having to do with some major changes in life. It is so strange that I decided to change my life for the better now. I don't know if you guys follow this kind of stuff, so I won't elaborate too much. The father of a good friend of mine calls astrology the work of "Smoke, Mirrors and Demons" :flame: lol

Some people have actually started seeing a difference in my looks now. That feels good. One of the kids at school that has since moved on to middle school saw me yesterday at our salad bar and said MY GOD!!!

That just makes me feel good.

My 13 yr old daughter has started to change her eating habits. She completely cut out soda pop and all of the junk food and I am so proud of her. She is a normal sized beautiful active girl, and I want her to remain that way. I don't want to see her end up like me. She said that she didn't want to eat all of this "crap" anymore...She has seen my boost in well-being since I changed my life and felt inspired. I am not one to push her into anything. I wanted her to make the decision to do this herself. I am so proud.

I have realized since I made this change in my life that I notice how much fast food advertising there is. I never payed attention before. Have you noticed that in all of these commercials, you have beautiful healthy people stuffing their faces with repugnant sandwiches and onion rings? You never see a guy like me sucking down a triple banana, chocolate and corn syrup milkshake in a commercial. I feel that I have awoken from my sleep. I never really payed attention before.

I was sitting in the Wal-Mart parking lot the other night waiting for my wife, and started some serious people watching. I saw so many people going in and out that are morbidly obese like myself. I hope that they are changing their lives, too. I want to reach out to these people, and hope that I will be able to do so with a weekly meeting support group. As soon as I reach my goal weight I am starting a local weight loss support group to meet once a week. There are so many people that want a change in their lives and haven't found a place to be comfortable yet. Without you guys and the support you give, I would be lost and sleeping. I hope you feel responsible for my life change, because you are. I was searching for something and found it in you. I can't wait to be at the end of my journey and share that with you. You are by and far some of the best people I have ever met.

I don't want to make the impression on you guys that I feel I am sitting on my high-horse by judging people walking in and out of Wal-Mart. How could I? I can't sit on any horse yet...:rotflmao: But seriously...I don't think that I am any better than anyone else for my focus on my lifestyle change here. I know that Like T2 Trucker says (and I thank you for clarifying this man)...I HATE BEING THIS WAY. I truly do, and that is my fuel to change. I do forgive myself for what I have done, and I have come to terms with that. I do love myself also...I want to clarify. I don't hate myself...I just hate the way I look and feel.

Thanks for your continued support, and sorry for the lengthy post.
 
You've saved not only your life with this journey of weight loss and self discovery Dan but you've saved your daughter's life too.

You're becoming more than just a friend of mine and everyone else's here.

You are becoming a true hero.

I am honored to know you.

As for the Walmart thing I know you didn't think you were better than those people.

Rather I'm sure you watched them with a knowing sadness and hope that they too can come to one day realize that their lives can be changed for the better if they look at their weight as a burden as so many of us who are overweight do and with good reason and then take action to remove that burden.

"I want to clarify. I don't hate myself...I just hate the way I look and feel."

*Uses best Morpheus voice*

I know exactly what you mean.

"I have realized since I made this change in my life that I notice how much fast food advertising there is. I never payed attention before. Have you noticed that in all of these commercials, you have beautiful healthy people stuffing their faces with repugnant sandwiches and onion rings? You never see a guy like me sucking down a triple banana, chocolate and corn syrup milkshake in a commercial. I feel that I have awoken from my sleep. I never really payed attention before."

I have noticed it.

Its like those signs in the movie "They Live".

When you're not wearing the sunglasses the sign will say juicy tasty Mcdonalds quadruple pounder with king sized super sized fries yum yum!!

When you are wearing the sunglasses the sign instead will reveal the truth Mcdonalds sugar loaded, fat loaded, calorie loaded heart attack on two buns with a side of artery choking death sticks.
 
Hi Dan,

Don't apologize for making long posts. It's your diary and you can post as long an entry as you want!! :D

I am very intrigued by astrology, so I don't mind hearing about it! Sometimes it's eerily true, the things mine says.

I totally agree with you and Steve about the fast food commercials. They should have a family with obese parents and obese children scarfing down burgers and fries, and then show them in the ER as someone's having a heart attack and the kids are diagnosed with type-2 diabetes. That would be much more realistic than some beatiful, thin, athletic couple eating there..lol. I shouldn't laugh--it's sad.:(

That's great that people are noticing your weight loss, and that you have inspired your daughter--how awesome!! She has a great role model in her father.

Here's your pat on the back for following through with your life changes. :beerchug: I think it's awesome!:)
 
Thanks for the kind words guys. You guys are so supportive and valuable on this journey.

Here's your pat on the back for following through with your life changes. I think it's awesome!

Thanks Kim...I see that beer and I start foaming at the mouth... Beer...glglglglgllglglglgggglllll.

You're becoming more than just a friend of mine and everyone else's here.

You are becoming a true hero.

I am honored to know you.

I am honored to know you too Steve. Your support here is priceless. The "Artery Choking Death Sticks" thing made me almost spit water on my monitor. Hilarious.


Updates -


Well, do you guys remember how I said you have to face problems head-on in life without food as a backup?

I am having to do that now. I know that I am far and beyond the point where I will break down and eat bad stuff, so you don't have to worry(I'm not even craving anything but peace). I have found that food is just fuel for the body. Not to be looked at as a pastime. Right now I am having to deal with some crap in my life, and without my escape of food, I am having a bad day. It started last night, and has continued well into today.

Not eating the crap I used to and exercising??? Easy.

Facing everything head on??? That's the hard part my friends.

I'm sure this will pass, but wow...It's been a bad weekend.

I wish you all peace.
 
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I'm sorry to hear about the crap - and glad to hear that it hasn't shaken your belief in yourself for this journey.

I hope you are finding other strategies to help you ease the unpleasantness you're dealing with. We do all have times where the support of our friends, online and off, or some alone time, venting, extra exercise (pound out the negatives), non food treats etc etc are especially important.

You are doing a great job here and I look forward to your continued success with that. I'm wishing you well with whatever else you have to deal with too.

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Sorry to hear you're having a rotten weekend! The good thing is that you are keeping strong and not eating for comfort. That is something to be very proud of.:)

I know you will work through whatever it is that's troubling you. When I'm having a rough time I like to remind myself that "this, too, shall pass."

Hope things improve for you soon!:hug2::hug2:
 
Felici - Thanks for your compassion...I feel much better today, I just seem to have this negativity showing itself more than it did before I started this journey. You are right about finding another strategy to deal with things. Your support means a lot.

Kim - This too, shall pass. I need to find a t-shirt that says that. I have always liked that saying.

Well, I weigh myself again tomorrow. Wish me luck.
 
Hope your labor day weekend has turned around in the right direction for ya. Just keep that positive attitude you have and you can't go wrong !
Good luck with your next weigh in!
 
I found this video a day or two ago and was going to put it in my diary with an update but reading about the bad times you've been going through Dan has compelled me to put this in your journal instead.

YouTube - LOTR: You Raise Me Up - Frodo and Sam

I found it very moving, probably one of the most moving tributes of any kind that I've seen in years and the song and video is how I feel about you and Kim and everyone that is so supportive on this site.

The spirit of friendship is strong in this video and our friendships here and elsewhere is really what will pull us through those hard times on the way to our goals.
 
CrunkChipmunk said:
I found this video a day or two ago and was going to put it in my diary with an update but reading about the bad times you've been going through Dan has compelled me to put this in your journal instead.

YouTube - LOTR: You Raise Me Up - Frodo and Sam

I found it very moving, probably one of the most moving tributes of any kind that I've seen in years and the song and video is how I feel about you and Kim and everyone that is so supportive on this site.

The spirit of friendship is strong in this video and our friendships here and elsewhere is really what will pull us through those hard times on the way to our goals.
Click to expand...

:beating::beating::beating::beating::beating::beating:
 
Thanks Steve...

That's how I feel about you guys too...We are going to pull each other out of this...I know it.

It's just amazing how we have all found each other here, and the impact you guys have on my life. Thank you for that.
 
Update -

I weighed in this morning and from last Thursday I have a loss of *Drumroll*

4.5 pounds!!!:D

I have not a clue as to how it is falling off so quickly, but I want to assure you that I am eating plenty, and exercising 5 or 6 days a week. My caloric intake is 1500 - 1700 calories, and around 35 fat grams a day.

I just wanted to update you all on this progress, and assure you that I am not weak nor am I hungry.

It was quite the uplifting morning. I feel good, I am just tired from going to bed late last night. Off for more Coffee...
 
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