MasterofJune's Diary *There is no spoon*

Wow, 3 miles a day, I don't think I could handle that in the heat, not sure where you are, but I am in Florida and I can't stand the heat and humidity! Keep up the good work, and keep drinking that water! Thank you for your supportive words to me, I hope I can also be a support to you! This forum has already helped me so much! It is great to have a place where we can be honest about our weight and even our failures and still get support and not be judged!! I feel what you are saying when you talk about the way you always feel like you are being judged by others when they look at you! What I hate are those skinny, beautiful girls at work who always make comments about how they are out of shape and need to loss weight! I can just imagine what they think when they look at me if they think that about themselves!! Best of luck to you with the new school year and all the changes you have put into place! I look forward to seeing your progress as well as sharing mine!!
 
Cheryl, it is hot as heck here. I live in Missouri, and the humidity was around 90% today, and about 92 degrees walking home this afternoon. Tomorrow it will be 103 here, but that's okay. The fire inside is hotter than the weather outside.

I know those girls you talk about. It has come to my understanding that they all have a very bad self image, and are trying to get someone to say that they are beautiful. You should surprise them one day and say..."Yeah, I agree...you look really bloated and you need to hit the gym." Then gauge their response. It will floor them and give you a good laugh later that night.
 
Congrats on the walking! Especially in that heat. Strong will can get you through so much it seems.

Do you have a pedometer? That is the one piece of equipment that has pushed me more than any other. I got a Sportline 360 on ebay a while back (much cheaper than in the stores- although now I know it would have been worth paying full price just to have it). I strive for 5000 steps daily, since in the beginning I was only getting around 2000. One day I want to be able to do the 10,000 steps daily that is recommended. I've done it, but it hasn't become a habit & takes real effort. Anyway just thought I would mention it & that it could help you track your efforts daily & a way to gauge your progress.

Good luck on continuing the walks!
 
MasterofJune said:
Cheryl, it is hot as heck here. I live in Missouri, and the humidity was around 90% today, and about 92 degrees walking home this afternoon. Tomorrow it will be 103 here, but that's okay. The fire inside is hotter than the weather outside.

I know those girls you talk about. It has come to my understanding that they all have a very bad self image, and are trying to get someone to say that they are beautiful. You should surprise them one day and say..."Yeah, I agree...you look really bloated and you need to hit the gym." Then gauge their response. It will floor them and give you a good laugh later that night.
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lmbo! Oh, I've played that game myself. :rotflmao: Both games, the fishing for compliments and the being obnoxious one.
Of course, the other day, I simply sat on my husband's lap and said "flatter me." He was shocked beyond speech [a rarity]. :] Confidence is key.
I can not believe Missouri is that hot! I live in SC. Obviously we're getting 100-106 degree days. *pats you on the back* I know you can do this. Great job. :]
 
MasterofJune said:
Cheryl, it is hot as heck here. I live in Missouri, and the humidity was around 90% today, and about 92 degrees walking home this afternoon. Tomorrow it will be 103 here, but that's okay. The fire inside is hotter than the weather outside.

I know those girls you talk about. It has come to my understanding that they all have a very bad self image, and are trying to get someone to say that they are beautiful. You should surprise them one day and say..."Yeah, I agree...you look really bloated and you need to hit the gym." Then gauge their response. It will floor them and give you a good laugh later that night.
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I almost fell off my chair I was laughing so hard when I read this!!! I can actually picture what the look on their faces would be!! I would love to do it, but one of the ones that does this the most sits on one side of me and the other sits on the other side of me (in cubicles) and they are both above me.

I can't believe it is that hot in Missouri!! Wow, you do deserve a pat on the back!! How's school going?
 
Little update here...Lost over 2 lbs in the past four days!...Thanks for the support !!!

csurace...school is going okay. It just so happens that our A/C is on the fritz (88 degrees in the building) and we have kids coming back on Monday. Hopefully the scheduling goes right and we will have it fixed or we have to go to the basement of another school for a few days...
 
Good news on the weight loss!!

This is a great thing you are doing. I've enjoyed reading your diary and I'm looking forward to all the exciting achievements you have ahead of you.
 
Thanks guys!

I am hoping my next weigh in will be more lost. I am weighing in on Friday and starting a new workout program on Monday. I talked with the personal trainer at work and she is excited to help me out. I have found a new strength inside my soul this past week, and no longer am I wondering if I am going to do this. I just know it. The cog hit the wheel and the gear turned. I am sure this forum has something to do with it. My biggest thanks to you guys for your support.
 
The board is set and the pieces are moving!

Outstanding work master.

You continue to inspire all of us around you with those positive vibes.
 
MasterofJune said:
Thanks guys!

I am hoping my next weigh in will be more lost. I am weighing in on Friday and starting a new workout program on Monday. I talked with the personal trainer at work and she is excited to help me out. I have found a new strength inside my soul this past week, and no longer am I wondering if I am going to do this. I just know it. The cog hit the wheel and the gear turned. I am sure this forum has something to do with it. My biggest thanks to you guys for your support.
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I totally felt like this when I started here - and now it's eight and a half months later and I'm more convinced than ever!

This is a great thing that's happening with you!

And wow! You have a personal trainer at work? Very nice!!
 
How awesome to have a personal trainer at work. There's a lot of motivation to be had b/t your personal trainer, this forum, yourself, friends and family... You're set up for success.

Awesome job on losing that weight too. :]
 
Master of June

I had to face a fact. I am embarrassed of myself. I hate looking in mirrors. I hate going to restaurants. I love baseball, but I hate going to the games. I even hate going to work. I would stay home all the time if I could. But we have to face the world everyday.

I like your honesty. People think and talk and we have no idea what about. When we feel embarrassed we think its unflattering and about us. That is our mind set not theirs. There are all kind of perceptions, prejudice', opinions.

Walking to and from work sounds like a GREAT plan. What a gift you will be giving yourself, your family and those students, a happier, healthier self. I admire your tenacity. Kathy:hug2:
 
You guys rock...no question.

We do have a personal trainer at work, but few use the service. It is open to our students and staff members, but mostly it's part of our health education. We are starting a program tomorrow for four days a week. When I get to that dreaded plateau, we are extending to 5 days a week. It's only around 45 minutes a day of training, so I really have no excuse unless I become sick. Instead of lazing around in the mornings waiting until work starts, I am going to be training. I am looking forward to it.

I figured out something else this week. It isn't just physical weight we need to lose here. It's emotional.

Let me explain.


I realized that not only have I been putting on weight and storing fat physically...I have been storing emotional and spiritual weight as well. All of the negativity, broken dreams, denial, anger and sadness.

These were the things that I have been hiding inside. These are the things that I could push out of the way with that bowl of ice cream or that big mac attack. Those feelings were blocked and stored. This is the first time that I have realized this. While I am on this journey, I am going to face a magnitude of feelings that have been so easily repressed all of my life as food gave me the comfort that I was looking for. At the end of the day, those feelings are there, they were just repressed. I hate to pull a Dr. Phil, but the truth is that I have to own my feelings. I have to face them. The longer I face them the more of their weight will leave my soul. By the end of my journey, not only will my body be forgiven of the excess, but my soul will too. My whole existence will be lean. That my friends, is being free.
 
MasterofJune said:
You guys rock...no question.


I realized that not only have I been putting on weight and storing fat physically...I have been storing emotional and spiritual weight as well. All of the negativity, broken dreams, denial, anger and sadness.

These were the things that I have been hiding inside. These are the things that I could push out of the way with that bowl of ice cream or that big mac attack. Those feelings were blocked and stored. This is the first time that I have realized this. While I am on this journey, I am going to face a magnitude of feelings that have been so easily repressed all of my life as food gave me the comfort that I was looking for. At the end of the day, those feelings are there, they were just repressed. I hate to pull a Dr. Phil, but the truth is that I have to own my feelings. I have to face them. The longer I face them the more of their weight will leave my soul. By the end of my journey, not only will my body be forgiven of the excess, but my soul will too. My whole existence will be lean. That my friends, is being free.
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This is so well put. I really enjoyed reading this. I feel now that someone else is thinking the way I'm thinking. I just never put it into words quite like this. When I discuss my emotions I try to be humorous, sometimes to the point of putting myself down. Thanks for sharing. :]
 
I think your right that we hide our painful emotions with weight master.

It didn't always start that way for me though.

As a youngster I just loved too much of a good thing and put on a little weight but then it turned into a lot as bad life experiences kept on piling up for me due to that little bit of weight and the more weight added just didn't help matters much any.

We were all killing ourselves with food at one point to numb the pain, no different than alcoholics that go through a trying time in their lives who drink themselves to death.

When is the time for any person to stop such a self destructive course of action?

The answer is now.

The answer is today.

The minute anyone reads this post and has felt these same thoughts.

Come out of the darkside and into the light and recreate your life into what you want it to be.
 
This is a most exciting time!! Have you started the new term now? I hope everything at school is panning out.

One thing with the emotional aspects - though they can be a challenge, you are right about the freedom you're gaining from facing and moving past them. Also, once they're established, good food habits and good exercise habits give emotional strength and can actively support us during difficult periods.

I just love the way you are thinking about what you are doing right now.
 
SoSel said:
When I discuss my emotions I try to be humorous, sometimes to the point of putting myself down. Thanks for sharing. :]
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How true SoSel. The past oh...20 years or so I have made jokes at my own expense to try to make others feel more comfortable being around me, when in fact, I was trying to make myself more comfortable. I have since stopped making fun of myself.

I have a confession...but not really. The past two mornings I have not gone to my workouts with the personal trainer. I have walked and continued that form of exercise, but I have found out that my schedule does not cooperate with me in the mornings. It will be much easier for me to workout in the afternoons than in the mornings. There are too many factors in the way in the early AM for me. There are too many things that could stand in the way. I am meeting the 2nd shift personal trainer tonight, and we are going to discuss a program for weight training. Well...I am off to work. Thanks for the support everyone. I really feel that I can't do this without all of you.
 
I'm the same as you. as much as I would LOVE to be a morning work out person, I just can't seem to bring myself to do it. afternoons work better for some of us.

Just be glad & proud you are making it work for you.

Congrats on the continued walking program.

Good luck.
 
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