MasterofJune's Diary *There is no spoon*
- Thread starter MasterofJune
- Start date
dbutterfield
New member
I just got done reading your journal and it sounds like you are in the right mind to accomplish your goals. That is great. Good luck on reaching your goals and beyond. I look forward to reading about your successes.
David
David
Healthyhabit
New member
Hey,
Glad to see you started this journal. You're off to a great start here and there's lots of support all around. You've got drive and a great mind set. I think you'll have no trouble accomplishing your goals.
Keep us posted on whats going on. I'll try to visit your journal as often as I can.
- Sunny
(Btw, I also spent a lot of time putting myself down. I stopped doing that when I started losing weight and I felt a lot better about myself right away.)
Glad to see you started this journal. You're off to a great start here and there's lots of support all around. You've got drive and a great mind set. I think you'll have no trouble accomplishing your goals.
Keep us posted on whats going on. I'll try to visit your journal as often as I can.
- Sunny
(Btw, I also spent a lot of time putting myself down. I stopped doing that when I started losing weight and I felt a lot better about myself right away.)
MasterofJune
New member
Thanks everyone for the continued support. I can't do this without all of you.
Upon reading my first Journal entry I realized something. I mentioned that I almost died last year due to my weight. Some of you may have read the reason I almost died in the newcomer forum, but for those of you that haven't...Let me give you the details.
Due to my excessive weight, varicose veins started showing up on my right leg. They were there for about 10 years, but lying very dormant. I used to have a security job that required a lot of walking, so the blood flow was continuous. I started my job in education 2 years ago, ended up putting on about 50 lbs of weight and I started noticing that my legs were getting sore and the veins started hurting where they had never really hurt before. One morning I woke up last October and some of the veins in my leg were very painful and swollen. I went to the doctor immediately, and was sent home with Coumadin. I had a blood clot. To add insult to injury, I could barely walk due to the pain and swelling, and I attended my family reunion last year holding a cane and about 50 pounds heavier than anyone in my family had ever seen me. They made some jokes about the cane, and said I was trying to be Snoop Dogg. I played that to the max with my little "Shizzle My Nizzle" jokes and everyone was really concerned about my state of health...No one in my family even mentioned the fact that I was a lot bigger, but I could feel it.
The veins started acting up again, and I was rushed to the hospital two nights later by my wife, with the clots moving at a serious rate (About 2 CM before going dvt...That means I was about 2 Centimeters away from having the clot going to my brain, lungs or heart). I was crying, she was crying, and I had a moment of my life flashing before my eyes. It isn't like seeing your life from birth either. It was much more morbid. I saw my family without me in their lives. I finally realized that they need me. You would think that would have been the final nail in the coffin, but it wasn't. Due to the pain and swelling, I couldn't really do that much physical activity. Depression sank in, and I trudged through life again. I got my surgery in May, and things are much better with my leg now. I sat depressed for a long time, and finally snapped out of it in July. I have since lost around 17 pounds since July 7th, and I am hoping for more in my weigh in this Friday. Just wanted to share this story with you.
One other thing...If you notice some veins popping up on your legs...Get them checked out immediately. You may be the life of the party with your Snoop Dogg jokes, but you may also be the life of the party that everyone is remembering and wishing you were still there.
Upon reading my first Journal entry I realized something. I mentioned that I almost died last year due to my weight. Some of you may have read the reason I almost died in the newcomer forum, but for those of you that haven't...Let me give you the details.
Due to my excessive weight, varicose veins started showing up on my right leg. They were there for about 10 years, but lying very dormant. I used to have a security job that required a lot of walking, so the blood flow was continuous. I started my job in education 2 years ago, ended up putting on about 50 lbs of weight and I started noticing that my legs were getting sore and the veins started hurting where they had never really hurt before. One morning I woke up last October and some of the veins in my leg were very painful and swollen. I went to the doctor immediately, and was sent home with Coumadin. I had a blood clot. To add insult to injury, I could barely walk due to the pain and swelling, and I attended my family reunion last year holding a cane and about 50 pounds heavier than anyone in my family had ever seen me. They made some jokes about the cane, and said I was trying to be Snoop Dogg. I played that to the max with my little "Shizzle My Nizzle" jokes and everyone was really concerned about my state of health...No one in my family even mentioned the fact that I was a lot bigger, but I could feel it.
The veins started acting up again, and I was rushed to the hospital two nights later by my wife, with the clots moving at a serious rate (About 2 CM before going dvt...That means I was about 2 Centimeters away from having the clot going to my brain, lungs or heart). I was crying, she was crying, and I had a moment of my life flashing before my eyes. It isn't like seeing your life from birth either. It was much more morbid. I saw my family without me in their lives. I finally realized that they need me. You would think that would have been the final nail in the coffin, but it wasn't. Due to the pain and swelling, I couldn't really do that much physical activity. Depression sank in, and I trudged through life again. I got my surgery in May, and things are much better with my leg now. I sat depressed for a long time, and finally snapped out of it in July. I have since lost around 17 pounds since July 7th, and I am hoping for more in my weigh in this Friday. Just wanted to share this story with you.
One other thing...If you notice some veins popping up on your legs...Get them checked out immediately. You may be the life of the party with your Snoop Dogg jokes, but you may also be the life of the party that everyone is remembering and wishing you were still there.
MoonGoddess
New member
Wow....
Glad you made it through & are using this moment as a source of inspiration rather than just to dive deep into a depression. You can do this. Changing jobs from being on the sales floor running around helping customers & checking on cashiers then to a desk job had helped me put on the pounds too. Luckily or to some employee's despair, we relocated the offices upstairs recently so now I have plenty of reason to take stairs up & down all day running information & checking on people rather than just using the phone to check in. I'm trying use this to my advantage & not sit at the desk so much of the day. Similar to how you are walking to work. Just make it work for the life we now live so we can live more of life.
Hope you have a great day & the heat does get to you... its insane!
Glad you made it through & are using this moment as a source of inspiration rather than just to dive deep into a depression. You can do this. Changing jobs from being on the sales floor running around helping customers & checking on cashiers then to a desk job had helped me put on the pounds too. Luckily or to some employee's despair, we relocated the offices upstairs recently so now I have plenty of reason to take stairs up & down all day running information & checking on people rather than just using the phone to check in. I'm trying use this to my advantage & not sit at the desk so much of the day. Similar to how you are walking to work. Just make it work for the life we now live so we can live more of life.
Hope you have a great day & the heat does get to you... its insane!
MasterofJune
New member
The heat here is awful...it's supposed to be 80 on Saturday...That will feel like a freeze compared to what we have been having.
I couldn't wait anymore to weigh myself, so I went ahead and did it anyway.
5 lbs lost this week!!!
I love updating the ticker there...
I couldn't wait anymore to weigh myself, so I went ahead and did it anyway.
5 lbs lost this week!!!
I love updating the ticker there...
CrunkChipmunk
New member
Massive congratulations are in order to you Master!
Since my legs have recovered sufficiently from day 1's brutal workout I will celebrate your success by resuming my full cardio routine on day 3!!!
Since my legs have recovered sufficiently from day 1's brutal workout I will celebrate your success by resuming my full cardio routine on day 3!!!
MidGaGuy
New member
The heat here is awful...it's supposed to be 80 on Saturday...That will feel like a freeze compared to what we have been having.
I couldn't wait anymore to weigh myself, so I went ahead and did it anyway.
5 lbs lost this week!!!
I love updating the ticker there...
5lbs! That is great!!
bikinibound
New member
Way to go on the 5 pounds!! 
That is great! I bet you're even more motivated now. Isn't it funny how 80 seems cool after the heat wave we've had lately?
That is great! I bet you're even more motivated now. Isn't it funny how 80 seems cool after the heat wave we've had lately?
Healthyhabit
New member
The heat here is awful...it's supposed to be 80 on Saturday...That will feel like a freeze compared to what we have been having.
I couldn't wait anymore to weigh myself, so I went ahead and did it anyway.
5 lbs lost this week!!!
I love updating the ticker there...
Congrats! Updating the ticker is fun indeed.
- Sunny
MasterofJune
New member
Thanks Sunny!
WOW...That's all I have to say at the moment. I have currently stopped walking to work in the mornings, because when I arrive I am drenched in sweat. We aren't really supposed to wear shorts, so I have been showing up with a dark blue crotch and butt when I get there.
...I bet you thought I quit walking, right?
Wrong.
I have been upping the distance actually. I walked 4 miles today in the soaking heat and humidity, and it felt great. We have a beautiful bike/walking trail here in my town, so I have been enjoying it. It has been sooo hot here, but like I said before, the heat inside my soul is much hotter than the temperature outside. I really can walk now. Right when I started I was constantly huffing and puffing. Now I can go four miles straight and not even flinch. Plus, when I finish my walk, I feel sooo much better. I have a burst of red hot energy. I am also sleeping like a little baby.
Since we live in a warmer climate, the walks outside should take me to about mid November/early December. When it becomes too cold, I am going to join the weight training program at the school with the personal trainer. I have since put that off, and decided that I should really just go one step at a time here. If I do too much, I may suffer an extreme burnout. Let's not forget that I have been doing basically nothing for the past 10 months or so.
I feel so much better, and I know that the weight is slipping off of me. I just went out and bought a St. Louis Cardinals shirt at the store!!! I have finally graduated to a 3X shirt, and my belt has went down a size. I started noticing the pants starting to fall off.
Just wanted to share the good news with you, and hope your weight loss journeys are going well. Thanks for the Continued support.
Oh yeah...I never shared my first name with you...It's Dan.
Thanks so much everyone!
WOW...That's all I have to say at the moment. I have currently stopped walking to work in the mornings, because when I arrive I am drenched in sweat. We aren't really supposed to wear shorts, so I have been showing up with a dark blue crotch and butt when I get there.
...I bet you thought I quit walking, right?
Wrong.
I have been upping the distance actually. I walked 4 miles today in the soaking heat and humidity, and it felt great. We have a beautiful bike/walking trail here in my town, so I have been enjoying it. It has been sooo hot here, but like I said before, the heat inside my soul is much hotter than the temperature outside. I really can walk now. Right when I started I was constantly huffing and puffing. Now I can go four miles straight and not even flinch. Plus, when I finish my walk, I feel sooo much better. I have a burst of red hot energy. I am also sleeping like a little baby.
Since we live in a warmer climate, the walks outside should take me to about mid November/early December. When it becomes too cold, I am going to join the weight training program at the school with the personal trainer. I have since put that off, and decided that I should really just go one step at a time here. If I do too much, I may suffer an extreme burnout. Let's not forget that I have been doing basically nothing for the past 10 months or so.
I feel so much better, and I know that the weight is slipping off of me. I just went out and bought a St. Louis Cardinals shirt at the store!!! I have finally graduated to a 3X shirt, and my belt has went down a size. I started noticing the pants starting to fall off.
Just wanted to share the good news with you, and hope your weight loss journeys are going well. Thanks for the Continued support.
Oh yeah...I never shared my first name with you...It's Dan.
Thanks so much everyone!
bikinibound
New member
Hey Dan,
Congrats on those pants falling down! That is a great feeling, isn't it? Better tighten that belt, or you'll be getting your ass grabbed by MsGhettoBooty when those pants slide off!!
Keep the fire in your soul stoked!
bikinibound
New member
Hi Dan,
I just read through your diary. I think you and CrunkChimpmunk are a couple of philosopher poets! And I mean that in a very good way. It's nice to see men talk openly about their feelings and fears. Very cathartic, imo. I'm glad you made it through your scare, and that you didn't let depression take over. You are doing a great thing right now, and I'm sure your wife and daughter will be grateful and happier for it. You are one cool dude--and not bad looking, either. So don't feel so self-conscious out in public.
I'm pulling for ya--we're all in this together.
~Kimberly
I just read through your diary. I think you and CrunkChimpmunk are a couple of philosopher poets! And I mean that in a very good way. It's nice to see men talk openly about their feelings and fears. Very cathartic, imo. I'm glad you made it through your scare, and that you didn't let depression take over. You are doing a great thing right now, and I'm sure your wife and daughter will be grateful and happier for it. You are one cool dude--and not bad looking, either. So don't feel so self-conscious out in public.
I'm pulling for ya--we're all in this together.
~Kimberly
CrunkChipmunk
New member
"It has been sooo hot here, but like I said before, the heat inside my soul is much hotter than the temperature outside"
Exactly my friend.
A fire thats light burns away all the impurities.
"Oh yeah...I never shared my first name with you...It's Dan."
What a coincidence. My best friend who lives down the road from my house is named Dan. Nice of you to share your name with us MOJ. I had wondered and was thinking of asking but respected your privacy so I didn't.
"I just read through your diary. I think you and CrunkChimpmunk are a couple of philosopher poets! And I mean that in a very good way."
Yes indeed.
We are warrior poets!
We are scotsmen!!!
Oh my did I just get caught up into thinking we were in the movie Braveheart?
I guess so lmao.
In anycase Dan is most definitely one cool dude and reminds me of my other friend Justin so much that its scary.
Justin is a deep thinking musician type as well.
They are undoubtably twin brothers from different mothers.
Well to end the post with one more movie reference I will say I consider us all the Fellowship of the Weight Loss.
Shame there's not quite yet 9 of us but we'll get there I suppose the longer our diaries continue to expand and grow as we shrink heh heh.
Exactly my friend.
A fire thats light burns away all the impurities.
"Oh yeah...I never shared my first name with you...It's Dan."
What a coincidence. My best friend who lives down the road from my house is named Dan. Nice of you to share your name with us MOJ. I had wondered and was thinking of asking but respected your privacy so I didn't.
"I just read through your diary. I think you and CrunkChimpmunk are a couple of philosopher poets! And I mean that in a very good way."
Yes indeed.
We are warrior poets!
We are scotsmen!!!
Oh my did I just get caught up into thinking we were in the movie Braveheart?
I guess so lmao.
In anycase Dan is most definitely one cool dude and reminds me of my other friend Justin so much that its scary.
Justin is a deep thinking musician type as well.
They are undoubtably twin brothers from different mothers.
Well to end the post with one more movie reference I will say I consider us all the Fellowship of the Weight Loss.
Shame there's not quite yet 9 of us but we'll get there I suppose the longer our diaries continue to expand and grow as we shrink heh heh.
MoonGoddess
New member
way to adjust to make it work for you.
I continue to be impressed at your dedication to walk in this heat.
I continue to be impressed at your dedication to walk in this heat.
MasterofJune
New member
Thanks for the compliments Kimberly...I was really impressed when you referred to Steve and myself as men. My wife is convinced she has two children. But seriously...Thanks.
MoonGoddess - It rained here today, and it is currently 76 degrees! I am going to enjoy my walk tonight.
Steve - I feel like I know you man. Your endless movie quotes and all. I am a huge movie buff (no pun intended, haha). I can associate a movie line with almost anything in my life. "It's my scientific specialty!" (see if you can guess that one).
You may get sick of hearing this from me, but I can stop thinking that
it is so refreshing to have this support forum. I truly believe that without it, I would not be progressing, even though it is small progressions.
That is why I love you guys so much. No matter how non-significant these things that we report in our journal, everyone understands. The support here is endless, and I haven't seen one trolling post. Everyone here is in this little circle of the earth, and we are all aspiring to the same goals.
From getting started to reaching my goals to beyond, I will be here with you brothers and sisters. Like Steve said, we are the Fellowship of the Weight Loss, and Steve; I am glad you included me. "Anyway, you need people of intelligence on this sort of mission... quest... thing ..."
MoonGoddess - It rained here today, and it is currently 76 degrees! I am going to enjoy my walk tonight.
Steve - I feel like I know you man. Your endless movie quotes and all. I am a huge movie buff (no pun intended, haha). I can associate a movie line with almost anything in my life. "It's my scientific specialty!" (see if you can guess that one).
You may get sick of hearing this from me, but I can stop thinking that
it is so refreshing to have this support forum. I truly believe that without it, I would not be progressing, even though it is small progressions.
That is why I love you guys so much. No matter how non-significant these things that we report in our journal, everyone understands. The support here is endless, and I haven't seen one trolling post. Everyone here is in this little circle of the earth, and we are all aspiring to the same goals.
From getting started to reaching my goals to beyond, I will be here with you brothers and sisters. Like Steve said, we are the Fellowship of the Weight Loss, and Steve; I am glad you included me. "Anyway, you need people of intelligence on this sort of mission... quest... thing ..."
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bikinibound
New member
Hmm... Dan and Steve don't sound very Scottish..lol. My H is Scottish on his mom's side.
I'm glad it's cooler there for your walking. That makes it much nicer. I've been dealing with storms and power outages the last few days. Read my diary to hear all the gory details..lol
HOpe you have a great weekend, keeping cool and being your usual focused self.
I'm glad it's cooler there for your walking. That makes it much nicer. I've been dealing with storms and power outages the last few days. Read my diary to hear all the gory details..lol
HOpe you have a great weekend, keeping cool and being your usual focused self.
CrunkChipmunk
New member
"Everyone here is in this little circle of the earth, and we are all aspiring to the same goals."
Exactly.
Its a long hard road out of hell but we are getting there.
"From getting started to reaching my goals to beyond, I will be here with you brothers and sisters. Like Steve said, we are the Fellowship of the Weight Loss, and Steve; I am glad you included me. "Anyway, you need people of intelligence on this sort of mission... quest... thing ..."
Haha, well played Master.
If ever I need to cross a difficult weight loss hurdle somewhere down the line I suppose...
"You'll just have to toss me, eh but don't tell the elf!"
Heh heh.
"P.S. I also wanted to let you guys know that I have a MySpace account. You might find out a little more about me if you want to add me as a friend or whatever."
I have definitely checked it out as you well know.
Extremely similar music tastes we have. Pretty cool that.
Another journey song of mine is Fade To Black by Metallica but like you Never Too Late is going to be heavy on my rotation for the next few weeks.
Its simply too powerful to me not to be.
Exactly.
Its a long hard road out of hell but we are getting there.
"From getting started to reaching my goals to beyond, I will be here with you brothers and sisters. Like Steve said, we are the Fellowship of the Weight Loss, and Steve; I am glad you included me. "Anyway, you need people of intelligence on this sort of mission... quest... thing ..."
Haha, well played Master.
If ever I need to cross a difficult weight loss hurdle somewhere down the line I suppose...
"You'll just have to toss me, eh but don't tell the elf!"
Heh heh.
"P.S. I also wanted to let you guys know that I have a MySpace account. You might find out a little more about me if you want to add me as a friend or whatever."
I have definitely checked it out as you well know.
Extremely similar music tastes we have. Pretty cool that.
Another journey song of mine is Fade To Black by Metallica but like you Never Too Late is going to be heavy on my rotation for the next few weeks.
Its simply too powerful to me not to be.
MoJ, thanks so much for sharing. I really can relate to so much of what you've talked about. I had to quote part of your post because it was so well put. You've summed up how I've felt so succinctly. Being honest with yourself can be difficult, but it is necessary to make the important changes in your life. I'm finally being honest with myself. At times it hurts, but I know that its worth it. Again, thanks for bearing your soul and of course, congrats on the weight loss so far and I wish you continued success.
MasterofJune
New member
"Its a long hard road out of hell but we are getting there."
So true Steve.
Just like in Shawshank when Andy crawls through the sewer and comes out clean on the other side.
That will be us. I have never been so determined in all of my life. Giving up is not an option.
Imperial - It's good to hear from you. Sharing feelings at first wasn't easy. I had to face a lot of demons while that realization kicked me in the face.
I wish I had more to update, but things are still going the same as they were a few days ago. I am still trudging through, taking things one day at a time and exercising my ass of...literally.
Thanks for the continued support and kind words.
So true Steve.
Just like in Shawshank when Andy crawls through the sewer and comes out clean on the other side.
That will be us. I have never been so determined in all of my life. Giving up is not an option.
Imperial - It's good to hear from you. Sharing feelings at first wasn't easy. I had to face a lot of demons while that realization kicked me in the face.
I wish I had more to update, but things are still going the same as they were a few days ago. I am still trudging through, taking things one day at a time and exercising my ass of...literally.
Thanks for the continued support and kind words.