I hope tomorrow´s a better day. Change is hard.
I really like this! You are right about sophistication and Polish women. I grew up in a rural place with mostly German descendants, and people thought I was homely because I didn't look German, so I think I developed a little complex. I've always felt large from being pretty tall, but I don't mind it now. I keep thinking about how nice it felt when I was back down to 170, and I felt really good. I think that's wonderful and would just be so happy back there again. Sometimes you don't realize when something is really what you want, and you forget to appreciate it profusely while you have it.I'm 100% convinced that the future is worth working toward.
Ha! I would love to!! It looks amazing!Move to Tasmania
I am glad you mentioned CBT - it got me thinking about how much I don't question negative thoughts, so looking at that every day has sort of shocked me. I am much better than I was, but wow, I still do myself in with pessimism a lot! I did really need to cry about moving, as when I first saw this house and property there was a magnetic attraction, and I feel this even stronger now, so its just hard giving this up. My back feels better this morning. It was twinging all day yesterday, so I took it easy and sorted stuff instead of moving heavy boxes around like I'd planned. I did lots of forward bends and got a lot of vertebrae back in place, so hopefully that worked and it'll be happy today. I tried short hair in college and didn't like it. I have a long neck which gets cold without the hair, and I really like being able to put my hair up when it's hot.Good for you for consciously switching your outlook Marsia. i think it's ok to grieve a little as we experience different losses, but yes, great to see the positives this move will bring you as well.
I hope your back is feeling better.
I notice that the core values are very similar, and I like that Buddhism can be a philosophy where you don't need to have faith or religion - it's all verifiable by trying things out, like a science of the mind.Buddhism, if compared to f.e. Christianity, has similarities and differences; in large parts of Asia it's politically and historically speaking very similar to Christianity in the West
I really love this about Buddhism. Once I was taking a walk in the mountains near the DMZ zone in Seoul, Korea, and there was a shaman-like old woman sacrificing a chicken with her big incense pot and ritual things behind a beautiful Buddhist shrine. I love how Buddhism is about our desire to find deeper meaning in life, and it doesn't put other systems of belief down in some power struggle for dominance, it just talks about acceptance and compassion.But; while Christianity demanded strict adherence to monotheism and had less leeway for folk beliefs and religious minorities, Buddhism took a very different approach. In most Buddhist majority countries, folk beliefs and minority religions were allowed to coexist;
Wow, you have a theology degree! That would be fascinating studying the world's religions!!I didn't get baptized until after I had already gotten my Theology degree, because I considered it to be a huge step to take, not something to do willy nilly.
I like the image of the ripples of your influence on others in your life. I never was that curious about what happens after we die. I figure energy gets recycled, it doesn't really die, but whether we retain our own separate consciousness or not doesn't really affect this life, so I'll just have to wait and see. Plus even if we do reincarnate, we won't remember past lives, so it'd be like a complete do-over! Anyway, please feel free to write about Buddhism or any other topics as long as you like in my diary. I really like reading what you write. Sorry not to get to your diary lately. I am just so worried about the move, I am being careful to only spend a little time here on the forum until we are out of here. Our taxes on the house once it's sold may go up a lot if it sells next year as opposed to this year, so I am rushing to move as fast as I can just in case.In a hundred years I might be seen as a monster or a saint, but what matters is the life I am living now. I think the most probable scenario is that we only life once, but that who we are keeps echoing across the universe like waves after you throw sand into a pond.
Don't worry about responding to my diary at all, I understand how taxing it is to have to deal with IRL issues and it makes sense to only have time and energy for so much online stuff. I'm mostly MIA from all of my online friend's diaries however much I would like to contribute and keep up with their stuff.Anyway, please feel free to write about Buddhism or any other topics as long as you like in my diary. I really like reading what you write. Sorry not to get to your diary lately. I am just so worried about the move, I am being careful to only spend a little time here on the forum until we are out of here.
A friend of mine works in a psychiatric hospital and they sell patients' artwork to help fund more materials.(BTW, imagine if psych wards archived all the art done by patients; there are true artists out there.)
Which, as I'm sure you know, is a symbol of masculinity as well.And then this holy hag came along and basically assigned a sacred tree for me.
Even if that wasn't a special moment in and of itself you're making it one by growing into your full self. Which is how prophecies work.to which she gave me the deadest of stares, like she was bored out of her wits, and said - "you just need the growth".
<3 thank you, @LaMaria .A friend of mine works in a psychiatric hospital and they sell patients' artwork to help fund more materials.
Which, as I'm sure you know, is a symbol of masculinity as well.
Even if that wasn't a special moment in and of itself you're making it one by growing into your full self. Which is how prophecies work.
I am glad you mentioned CBT - it got me thinking about how much I don't question negative thoughts, so looking at that every day has sort of shocked me. I am much better than I was, but wow, I still do myself in with pessimism a lot!
Wow, Floater, that is some experience you had! I grew up with a brilliant but violent dad who had paranoid schizophrenia. He was into Nietzsche and the existential philosophers and we had fascinating conversations. I didn't realize at the time, but I can think in very loose connections between thoughts because of being raised by someone who thinks like that. I had a friend on the school bus who made up a new language with me, and it turned out he had schizophrenia from a bad shock that happened in his family triggering it (being the first person to see a family member who committed suicide). My second internship as a counseling psychology student was working with homeless people with schizophrenia and usually also substance abuse. It was at a creative center for the arts and group psychotherapy, and was very intense. Basically people with schizophrenia have such active imaginations that they are living in a dream-like state where they can't tell hallucinations or bad thoughts from reality, like if we were to walk around in a dream state and not know it. Also because people with schizophrenia were often not socialized to have normal interpersonal boundaries, they tend to pick up on things that "normal" people don't, and they can seem psychic at times. I have had friends with schizophrenia at times in my life because I was raised to follow someone's thinking where they only say out loud 1 of maybe 5 thoughts, so you have to make the huge jump between disparate ideas. So people with schizophrenia tend to appreciate that I can understand them often. What was so interesting is that the people who were clients in my internship were from all walks of life, including a couple of UC Berkeley professors and staff. Definitely very intense, usually highly perceptive people who can be just brilliant, but who really struggle with what is the general feel of the environment or of the people around them (ex. hearing people arguing feels like a fight within their own head), and what is them and their own private thought processes. Carl Jung really has amazing things to say about psychosis and the spiritual realms.Maybe my willingness to look at the world from the point of view of this strange old woman had, at least partially, to do with the fact that I kept telling the nurses I'm trans and they called me psychotic for that. And then this holy hag came along and basically assigned a sacred tree for me. Both viewpoints are probably skewed and false, but I choose the oak instead of the sterile and automated system of modern psychiatry.
If we could afford to stay, we would, but we are barely treading water right now, and really just need to move to a less horrible state as far as taxes, insurance being outrageous, and where we aren't in constant threat of wildfires and rolling blackouts. It's also getting very dusty here with a drought that has lasted over 10 years. Other than that, we live in a place with such happy, creative people and beautiful scenery. It's very hard to move even with all the minuses.there are a lot of places i'd like to move to, but there's this ocean less than a mile away that i cannot see myself leaving...
Yes, it seems like Buddhism and CBT go hand in hand. My back seems to have recovered, thank goodness. Yoga is amazing!Yes I really feel that the CBT work is on-going, very much like the Buddhist practice. I feel the 2 paths really complement each other!
Glad to hear your back is feeling better Marsia.
Thanks, Cate! I actually started looking at places we could move to in Mexico, which has many amazing, safe, incredibly beautiful places I really hadn't thought about before. That actually makes me more enthused than moving to another place in the US. I may be a globe trotter, I am thinking!Hi, hon. Your next happy place will be lovely because you will appreciate it & have discarded so much stuff you don't need. You'll have the time to do your art & take long walks, listen to music, take a class, meditate & enjoy life. You are moving toward that, my friend