Marsia's Diary

LaMaria

Well-known member
If you do end up having to eat frozen burritos and such just adding some fresh lettuce or something can make a big difference.
 

liza

Well-known member
Love the facts about the bees and their dancing!! What I also find incredible is the people who somehow figured out what all these lttle insects are doing. I would really love to study bugs somehow. I think it's all just so incredible the little lives that are going on all around us--whole worlds that we are mostly unaware of!
Also love your laundry fix--sounds like a really good idea. And wonderful if you can find it relaxing :)
 

Marsia

Well-known member
Thanks Cate! I feel pretty happy with my progress thus far. Today J drove K to and from school, and I got a ton done. I am getting worried that the contractors will finish the house before I am fully packed, so I am really trying to pack fast. I laid down for 10 minute power naps today. Didn't nap, but laying down made my back happy so I felt really good after each "nap".

LaMa, that's a really good idea buying fresh things to put in the pre-packaged stuff. I'll definitely do that.

Liza, I think bugs are incredible and would love to learn more about them, too. I didn't do a load of tub-stomping laundry today, but plan to tomorrow because I really like doing it, and I could use some more tops.

Tomorrow they build a new back deck. The old one got hauled away a while ago it was so saggy and dangerous. That should be wonderful motivation as I can watch them out my windows as I work. It's late, so I'll try to get to diaries on my breaks tomorrow morning.
 

Marsia

Well-known member
Had a funny day. Lots of happy contractors, lots of getting stuff done, but not sure how productive I really was. When the spot you are working on is down to the last few messes, it seems like it takes longer than it should to finish. I have 2 areas I am working on like that. Ate good food, but probably too much. I want to go get nice veggies this weekend. I really crave fresh food. They started the deck and dug holes and put pilings in. I was definitely less productive than them! Oh, well, glad I have almost 2 weeks left!!
 

Cate

Support crew
At least the day was very productive, Marsia. I think it may be the law of diminishing returns, but you'll get there!
 

Marsia

Well-known member
Thanks LaMa and Cate. I figured out the diminishing returns thing today. I have to sort things into where they are going - long term storage, over to our new place, or in the long term storage apartment, but left out so we can use it while visiting there. So I have all these mostly packed boxes that I can not find stuff to finish filling them, and the stuff needs to be going to the same place. So I realized this was taking me so long to wander around finding something that fits perfectly in each box that it's not worth the time. Instead I found a bunch of those air filled plastic bags and I am stuffing them in the gaps of the mostly filled boxes and packing them up and moving on. This should keep me from going nuts now that I can pack at a normal rate again.

The deck is really coming along fast. They got the supports up and all the framing, and they just need to do decking boards and railing.

I didn't do well with food today. Just as K and I finished lunch, J wanted an early dinner, and after making it, I had some, too, and it feels like I should have stopped at lunch. Also I asked J to get me a bunch of stuff at the store, including cabbage. He couldn't find most of what I wanted but was happy he found cabbage. Except it turns out he doesn't know what cabbage looks like, and he got me very old, tough green leaf lettuce. I tried making a salad with it, but it was pretty bitter. So weird food day with most of my ingredients missing or the wrong ones. Also he put the bananas in the bottom of the shopping bag, and they are all bruised. I need to teach him how to shop one of these days. I am always shocked at how bad he is at domestic things. But he is very talented in many other ways, so, oh well!
 

LaMaria

Well-known member
So I realized this was taking me so long to wander around finding something that fits perfectly in each box that it's not worth the time. Instead I found a bunch of those air filled plastic bags and I am stuffing them in the gaps of the mostly filled boxes and packing them up and moving on. This should keep me from going nuts now that I can pack at a normal rate again.
Great that you found bottleneck and slashed it off!
I am always shocked at how bad he is at domestic things. But he is very talented in many other ways, so, oh well!
People who "are bad at" basic domestic stuff either lack practice (which may not be their fault) or see it as too far below them to engage their brains for.
 

liza

Well-known member
I found a bunch of those air filled plastic bags and I am stuffing them in the gaps of the mostly filled boxes and packing them up and moving on.
Great solution!
Very nice to hear that once you had that sorted things are moving along so well--the packing and the deck--wonderful!

I need to teach him how to shop one of these days. I am always shocked at how bad he is at domestic things
People who "are bad at" basic domestic stuff either lack practice
Yes I often think of how bad I am at with certain things--i've been especially contemplating my lack of ability with basic building skills lately. I would like to build a simple closet, but just feel completely lost! Lack of training, lack of practice!
 

Marsia

Well-known member
People who "are bad at" basic domestic stuff either lack practice (which may not be their fault) or see it as too far below them to engage their brains for.
Hi LaMa! J definitely has not gotten practice with the domestic stuff. He used to pay his younger brothers to do his chores, so he has managed to avoid that sort of thing even as a kid. I really want to get him proficient at cooking more than eggs and also get him to know how to grocery shop. He does dishes now and they come out clean. Took me about a year to work with him on that and on putting the dishes away in the right spot. It like he's a small child in this way. Very strange, but not the worst fault on the planet, for sure!
Yes I often think of how bad I am at with certain things--i've been especially contemplating my lack of ability with basic building skills lately. I would like to build a simple closet, but just feel completely lost! Lack of training, lack of practice!
My grandfather was so good with tools, he built his own house, and I always wanted to learn from him, but he had no patience. We put together Ikea furniture and K is starting to get good at assembling fences from bamboo poles and such. I'd love to learn real carpentry though!

Today I mostly cleaned the rooms I have mostly packed, which is much better as the construction dust was black and there was a lot of plaster dust, too. I am feeling organized and productive now, and when you walk in the rooms, they seem a lot more open and clean, which makes me happy. No contractors today, which was nice because I had my online meditation course this morning. I love my teacher so much. He explains Buddhism in such clear, simple ways. Went to the hardware store and bought packing supplies, and finally brought home a paint color swatch I like for the kitchen backsplash - it's a beige-y light green that goes nicely with my "mocha" colored counters and dark wood cabinets. I have a huge stack of paint swatches that were almost right, so that makes me relieved. Have to go to the store tomorrow. I would rather stay home and get tons done, but am running low on veggies and am so, so craving them. Ok, happy night all!
 

Cate

Support crew
I am feeling organized and productive now, and when you walk in the rooms, they seem a lot more open and clean, which makes me happy.
That sounds so good! You are doing incredibly well, M xo
I love Buddhism. It just makes so much sense. I loved the shrines & temples in Vietnam. I must explore it more 🧘‍♂️
 

Marsia

Well-known member
Wow, I'd love to visit Vietnam some day! What parts did you like especially? Buddhism really helps me slow down and appreciate things more. Like this morning I woke up early and just was so happy in the warm covers all snuggled in. I found a beginner Buddhist book in my parents' book collection when I was 7 and read all the parts I could comprehend I was so intrigued. It's stuck with me ever since. Ok, time to start the day!
 

Floater

Well-known member
Popping in to comment - Buddhism has had a profound impact on me, to the point where I wrote both my Bachelor's and Master's theses about themes that had to do with it. I also used to go to sanghas and partake in meditation retreats, but group meditation really isn't the right fit for me personally because I always got the sense that in some way a lot of people were "competing" against each other in the sanghas I visited. Similarly to how some church people get all smug about their own holiness. And that made me doubt myself a lot. Probably tells more about me and my anxieties than the other folks, but hey. :D The core ideas still resonate with me and they help me a lot when I feel like I'm not enough and that I'm not in control... Because no one really is.
 

Cate

Support crew
Wow, I'd love to visit Vietnam some day! What parts did you like especially?
I especially loved the North of Vietnam. We went to lots of villages outside Hanoi, but I also loved Hanoi. Sapa was wonderful. I have hundreds of photos printed & in albums. I must get them out & have another look. We did not hear raised voices anywhere in Vietnam & there were little shrines everywhere & lots of lovely temples.
 

Marsia

Well-known member
Popping in to comment - Buddhism has had a profound impact on me, to the point where I wrote both my Bachelor's and Master's theses about themes that had to do with it. I also used to go to sanghas and partake in meditation retreats, but group meditation really isn't the right fit for me personally because I always got the sense that in some way a lot of people were "competing" against each other in the sanghas I visited. Similarly to how some church people get all smug about their own holiness. And that made me doubt myself a lot. Probably tells more about me and my anxieties than the other folks, but hey. :D The core ideas still resonate with me and they help me a lot when I feel like I'm not enough and that I'm not in control... Because no one really is.
Wow, that's wonderful you got to write about Buddhism for your theses! I have always wanted to join a meditation group, but I got so socially anxious, I haven't brought myself to do it yet. My teacher doesn't have a permanent place he teaches (probably because he doesn't like the whole sangha in-person thing either) so I used to go to his one day talks when he comes to town, and I take his online courses. So I avoid all that competitive stuff. I know what you mean about that. My neighbors founded a Buddhist elementary school, and they are very bossy and used to being deferred to. I have seen really happy sanghas though where the monks are really nice and have good senses of humor. I guess it depends on the lead teacher's way with people.

I get what you mean about not being in control. One of my favorite sayings is by Joseph Campbell, "The best we can do is lean toward the light." I try to live by this idea, but forget sometimes!

Cate, Vietnam sounds amazing! I'd love to go someday, and I'm cutting and pasting what you wrote in my journal on my computer so I can find it again!! Did you go with a tour group?

Today was a lazy day. I meditated with the cat on me, went shopping and bought nice veggies and healthy stuff, made up a bunch of moving boxes, did a load of tub laundry, got the path in the garage nice and wide and took out the washing machine and then brought it down to where I can get everyone to help me put it in the new laundry room, and now am finally starting to pack. The deck has most of the floor boards on it now, and looks great. They'll put up the railing with hog wire panels the next two days, and will be done.

I looked up "CBT and overeating" and also "emotional eating" today and found great stuff to research. I can't wait until after the move to really get into this stuff. I was inspired by my friend who has social anxiety who is going to go do CBT for that. I figure if we all put our heads together on this forum we can find a bunch of solutions that should work for us long term!
 

LaMaria

Well-known member
I looked up "CBT and overeating" and also "emotional eating" today and found great stuff to research. I can't wait until after the move to really get into this stuff.
Looking forward to hearing what you learn!
I figure if we all put our heads together on this forum we can find a bunch of solutions that should work for us long term!
I'm sure the solution will be specific to every single one of us but I do believe the underlying framework will be similar.
 

liza

Well-known member
Buddhism sure does seem to have a wide appeal these days. i think a big part is that you don't have to necessarily take on all the beliefs/practices to get some benefit. That's good that your teacher teaches in clear and simple ways--I like those sort of teachers as well.
My grandfather was so good with tools, he built his own house, and I always wanted to learn from him, but he had no patience.
That's too bad you couldn't learn from him. My dad was a carpenter, so he was forever building and we always had a workshop. I did try to learn stuff from him, but just couldn't get the knack of it. Course growing up with someone like that I could always have him do all my projects for me--not anymore though!
 

Floater

Well-known member
Buddhism sure does seem to have a wide appeal these days. i think a big part is that you don't have to necessarily take on all the beliefs/practices to get some benefit. That's good that your teacher teaches in clear and simple ways--I like those sort of teachers as well.
Sorry to chime in once again, but this is one of my autistic SPINs (SPecial INterests); this is spot on. Buddhism, if compared to f.e. Christianity, has similarities and differences; in large parts of Asia it's politically and historically speaking very similar to Christianity in the West, with a long history of highly organized monastery and temple systems, a monopoly on higher education in centuries when the majority of population was illiterate, and political ties to powerful families who tended to send children who weren't fit to be successors to monasteries to create a spiritual career for themselves.

But; while Christianity demanded strict adherence to monotheism and had less leeway for folk beliefs and religious minorities, Buddhism took a very different approach. In most Buddhist majority countries, folk beliefs and minority religions were allowed to coexist; people would go through major life cycle rites like naming babies, getting married, and burials in Buddhist temples, but would also visit shamans and sacrifice food to ancestors and so on and so forth without anyone seeing this as an issue. Of course, folk beliefs kept existing in Christian parts of the world as well, but they could easily get you branded as a witch and murdered if you were poor and/or a woman, or shunned and gossiped about if you were a high class dude who was into alchemy and other occult stuff.

I didn't get baptized until after I had already gotten my Theology degree, because I considered it to be a huge step to take, not something to do willy nilly. I think it speaks of the adaptability of Buddhism that when I told my priest I will still keep Buddhist teachings close to heart, she responded that she doesn't see any issue with this, as the Buddha (or Buddhas, depending how you look at it) are not God; and that the only real theological issue in being simultaneously a Christian and a Buddhist would be the question whether we go through one life-time or several in a cycle of death and re-birth until (hopefully) attaining Samsara.

In my opinion, afterlife is pretty useless to ponder about and my actions are not dependent of whether I believe in the existence of Hell/cycle of rebirths or Heaven/Samsara. This body is going to the maggots anyway, and as I can't see the world from any other point of view than mine, I think doing my best with the wits and capabilities I have should be enough. In a hundred years I might be seen as a monster or a saint, but what matters is the life I am living now. I think the most probable scenario is that we only life once, but that who we are keeps echoing across the universe like waves after you throw sand into a pond. I can't see how our consciousnesses could keep going on after the brain and body is gone, but people are so much more than our flesh and bones, we are our relationships and our drawings and our children, pets, neighbors, and all the steps we leave in the mud outside our homes.

Sorry for hijacking your thread :D
 

Marsia

Well-known member
Thanks everyone! Had a sort of emotional day, so I'll visit tomorrow when I am feeling better and answer when I am not all sad about moving and can't think straight. Floater, I love your post, please don't apologize!
 
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