Llama

Marsia

Well-known member
Hi LaMa, sometimes when old bad feelings surface, especially out of nowhere, it could be it's because you are ready to heal them. So I hope you don't get too unsettled from weird feelings surfacing. It can be a good sign that you are strong enough to feel these things now and they often release once you feel them. I know what you mean about just not fighting the urge to overeat and then there is inertia to conquer once you are ready to get back on track again. I've been doing a fair bit of that, but just in a slow but steady way and it's time for me to reverse that. A good food plan sounds really good!
 

Llama

Well-known member
Take care! Hormone hell is no joke. :grouphug:
Thanks. At least it's the kind of thing that passes.
Hi LaMa, sometimes when old bad feelings surface, especially out of nowhere, it could be it's because you are ready to heal them.
True, but I it doesn't feel like old stuff resurfacing. I think today was a combination of hormones and an attempt to stop binging. Which I failed at today but will try again tomorrow. With a bit of luck the hormone mess should have reduced a bit by then, giving me a better chance. I did do quite well on chores and I walked for an hour.
 

Llama

Well-known member
What I did struggle with today is that I felt a strong need to go for a longgg walk but I was simultaneously too tired to really do anything for more than 30 minutes at a time and then needed to sit down with my feet up for an hour again. I think I can safely put that one on the hormones. I'm not calling myself lazy or anything: it was just frustrating to feel like I knew what would help me feel better but I was physically unable to do it. Instead I had a bath, chatted with my sister, played some games, planned and ate decent&tasty food... so I tried to make do with the things I could do but it just didn't help the way exercise would have. Except of course it wouldn't actually have helped because I would've crashed instead.
 

Llama

Well-known member
Thanks Cate. I wish I hadn't binged (don't I always, afterwards?) but the stupid amount of blood I'm losing kind of makes it feel more reasonable. Reasonable or not: I got on the scale and the bumber was the highest it's been in years. 82.6 kg with 36.1% body fat. Oof. No wonder even my loosest jeans are getting kind of uncomfortable.

Planner is sending out messages asking for overtime again. I wish I could silence just the replies to her question and not get notified again until she asked something else. Because I do feel kind of guilty for not offering to work extra this week. But at the same time: she asks besically every week and I work only 30 hours because doing more crushes my health. And it's in nobody's interest if I work a couple more hours this week and the next and then have to stay home for a week to recover. So... I'll just play turtle in my shell for a while.
 

liza

Well-known member
it was just frustrating to feel like I knew what would help me feel better but I was physically unable to do it. Instead I had a bath, chatted with my sister, played some games, planned and ate decent&tasty food... so I tried to make do with the things I could do but it just didn't help the way exercise would have.
I can well imagine that frustration of not feeling able to get a good long walk in! But it does sound like you did lovely nourishing things, so that's great!
Planner is sending out messages asking for overtime again.
Argh I hate that. I had a job once where I had made it clear what I could manage, but they kept wanting me to do more and it was so stressful being given the choice of either saying no and letting them down, or stressing myself out with the extra work that I couldn't manage in a healthy way. I'm glad that so far you are mostly standing your ground and only doing what you feel comfortable doing.
 

Llama

Well-known member
Hi LaMa, I relate to wanting to please and then feeling guilty. Seems like a healthy thing to detach and let go and focus on self-care.
Thanks Rob. The whole self-care thing isn´t always easy.
I'm glad that so far you are mostly standing your ground and only doing what you feel comfortable doing.
Thanks Liza. They don´t push it, thankfully. It just never seems to end. Someone is always sick or on vacation.

Made it through the day without binging. Should probably be proud of that but I´m just tired. Time for bed.
 

Cate

Long-term member.
Good for you standing your ground, LaMa. It is mentally tiring being asked the same thing. There is no need for you to feel guilty about looking after your health.
Made it through the day without binging. Should probably be proud of that but I´m just tired.
Be proud, hon :grouphug:
Sleep tight.
 

Marsia

Well-known member
I think it's really great you are holding your ground and not doing more overtime than you can handle. Hopefully they wise up and realize they need an on-call person or two. I really empathize about wanting to do more than your body will let you, and am glad you are taking care of yourself. Hope your period fades away quickly and you are feeling better fast!
 

Llama

Well-known member
Thanks guys. I am feeling a bit better today. Still had two bars of chocolate after work (200g each). But at least I stopped there. Still: that's 2000 kcal more than necessary. Let's be generous and say 1500 because I made my dinner modest (the last of my soup) and I was pretty active. So that's not great. Not as bad as my recent binges but not good at all. Should probably go for a walk now (I have some energy back, yay!) To burn off at least some of those. It's not yet 7 pm so... I could do a big round (8 km), be back by 8:30, and still have time for a nice bath before bed. Already walked 3 km earlier so in total that would be an extra 600 or so kcal chipped off my binge. And that's enough. Not going to get obsessive about burning all excess calories or I'll just crash and burn.

Plan for tomorrow:
- Airfried potatoes/Selchfleisch/greens
- Red lentil stew with baby spinach and pitabread (rice would be more sensible but doesn't taste as nice)
- Leek/mushroom/brown lentil wraps
- Protein pudding wiiiiith... apple?
- Either gym or a run in the morning
 

Llama

Well-known member
Of course just when I wanted to go out I realized it's Tuesday, 7 pm, and I was going to call my dad. So I did that instead of going for that walk. I did walk around while we chatted and I went for a short walk after. So that's good.

I also came up with an idea for this year's Christmas craft today! I'm going to make a team of little (non-functional, I'm not technical) robots made from different materials as if they're covid restriction assistant prototypes for the kids team my BIL trains. I'm not sure if that sentence makes sense but it does in my head.
 

Floater

Well-known member
I also came up with an idea for this year's Christmas craft today! I'm going to make a team of little (non-functional, I'm not technical) robots made from different materials as if they're covid restriction assistant prototypes for the kids team my BIL trains. I'm not sure if that sentence makes sense but it does in my head.
This is a lovely idea :D Are you going to hang them in the tree or place them as table decorations? I keep my Christmas to the minimum personally, but I envy people who enjoy the preparations. Maybe I'll find my own way of celebrating it eventually.
 

Llama

Well-known member
Neither. It's just how we do our gift exchange: draw lots, buy a gift/gifts for a set amount of money, craft something silly to go with the gift, and write a poem of at least one page. I generally use my poem to explain whatever weird thing I crafted 🙈 I don't know what I'm getting him yet but if it's small enough it might fit inside the robots and if it's big I might make a playing field on top of it.
 

Cate

Long-term member.
I love what your family does for Christmas. I have never been very Christmassy, but I am busting to put up my tree because I love it. Will you spend Christmas with your family this year, LaMa?
 

liza

Well-known member
Lovely that you are inspired for your Christmas craft. Must be so much fun when you all share the poems and crafts! Would be a nice way to spend Christmas for sure.
 

Llama

Well-known member
Will you spend Christmas with your family this year, LaMa?
I hope so. Booked the flight but it's quite possible they'll close the borders again or require quarantine after returning from abroad, in which case of course I'd be stuck here...
Must be so much fun when you all share the poems and crafts!
My favorite family get-together of the year!
 

Cate

Long-term member.
I hope so. Booked the flight but it's quite possible they'll close the borders again or require quarantine after returning from abroad, in which case of course I'd be stuck here...

My favorite family get-together of the year!
I really, really hope you get to spend time with your family! 🤞🤞
 

Llama

Well-known member
Thanks, so do I. I hate the uncertainty of it all.

Went for a run this morning, followed by a walk. My best guess is 3.8 km ran and 2.2 km walked. Which was apparently too much because afterwards I was cold, super hungry, and mentally exhausted. Oh well. Will still try and get some basic shoulder and back work in at work but I packed extra food to reduce the risk of binging after my shift.
 

Llama

Well-known member
Was sensible and a) ate more before exercising more and b) only did the bare minimum strengthwise. Did not binge.
 
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