Uggg, I feel like my pissy Aunty Elaine who would enter my bedroom and announce "lights out and put away those dolls NOW!" But, here goes anyway....
First a preface: this is gonna be long....and I'd send it p.m. but the damned thing has a character limit.....what I'm going to say to you is exactly what I would say to my best freind if she were sitting across from me - and what I hope she would say to me. So, please, take it in that spirit and understand that I can only give you the words, which can't be softened by a tone of voice or facial expression or holding your hand.
You ask "am I losing it" you know what, I think you are a little, and I think you know it or you would not have asked. You've said that you're not really being consistent about tracking your calories, you know you've been eating more than you need to create a deficit and you have not been consistent in exercising. And none of this is the end of the world or even a blip on your overall big lifetime picture.
I know that you got a little distracted along the way, are still dealing with the emotional fallout and, like pretty much every female on the face of the earth, are having a hard time dieting and dealing with that at the same time. That said, I also know that you want to reach your weight loss goal and maintain that loss. And this, right here, right now, is where the rubber meets the road as far as "dieting" vs. making a permanent lifestyle change.
I think part of what's going on right now is you got blindsided before you could cement the changes you've been making into a natural part of your lifestyle rather than a diet/exercise plan. Okay. Bad luck. Sh** happens. You can pick up and resume, right here and now in this moment in time. Late dinner? So what? That's when you say "I'm eating light tonight because I over-did it yesterday", log your calories in before you go to bed and get up in the morning and go jog - whether you want to or not. Rinse and repeat, day after day after day. Cause that, Kelly, I promise you is part of what makes the difference between a diet and a lifestyle change.
And it sounds tough, and uncompromising and even a little harsh. I promise I'm not being unsympatheic....heck my live-in exboyfriend and I broke up about a week after I joined this forum...and only the fact that I had done what I'm suggesting you do for 365+ days in a row kept me from heading for the nearest Papa John's. I cried. I cut up photos like a 13 year old. I moped around until I was unbearable to be around for weeks. Meanwhile, I kept logging in my food day after day, monitoring my calories and working out everyday.
You've got a long, wonderful life ahead of you chica. There's going to be other romances, and fun busy times and social events and frustrating days and lonely nights and ... well - life is going to happen. And no matter what it throws at you, good or bad, you want to breeze (or sometimes have to slog) through it feeling lean and fit and healthy.
