I'm going to step out on a limb and say that the people on this forum are the nicest group of people I've ever chatted with. In fact, it's been an honor to read everybody's posts and get an insight into your struggles. I feel blessed that the members here share such intimate details of their trials and tribulations in their journeys.
That being said, you're not an ass JZ. And nice guys don't always finish last ... not if you're talking about (OK here I go again!!!) integrity, honesty, respect, kindness, etc. etc. Those are the things that matter in the long run.
There's a lot of support here. More than I've ever seen anywhere else. We all know you're hurting right now because most of us know what it feels like. And since most people here have really big hearts, I think there's going to be a lot of loving' vibes being sent your way
All the best to you, JZ.