Jill's diary

ok, got in 20 cups of water today

pm snack:

slice swiss cheese
cup prune juice... not nearly as exciting as my dinner, but nutritious enough!

cals 1561 fat 91 carbs 117 protein 80 sodium 454.21

this week i'm low on iron and Vitamin D, gotta focus on nutrition...did take a multivitamin

weigh in/ measurements tomorrow, the moment of truth how things are going so far....

notes to self: gotta watch the oilve oil ...2 tbs brought in a whopping 239 calories...almost as much as 4 oz ground beef...
 
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salmon is my all time favorite food......your making my mouth water, i may just have to make that for dinner tonight
 
Hey you...

Thanks for stopping into my diary. Its refreshing to see a new face...

I am a food addict myself. I think you referred to that in the beginning of your diary. I read some of your diary ...

I am having a hard time keeping control of myself.
I have a food addict book with eight stage program, written by someone who was a food addict. It is working so far.

I find I can't eat yogurts, my sugar goes too high.
My sugar was 145 today, because of the tea that was sweetened with juice, and its not even on the package that it is sweetened with juice ...

incredible! lol

Well, thanks for writing in my diary ...
ttylater
natalie jo
 
Hi Jilly (can I call you that? I think it's cute. :) )

Great day today! Once again. I'm very proud of how well you're sticking to this. What a bunch of salmon eaters we are here..lol. First Margaret, then me, now you and Trevor..lol. I'm gonna have it again this week b/c I've still got more in the fridge. :D

Yes, it's best not to wait to eat until you're ravenous. I do that too much. I don't know if you like celery or not (I hate it!), but it's a good low-cal/carb high fiber snack. My H loves the stuff. He can have it. :D
 
I woke up sooo crabby, cats are cranky for their food... hellooooooooooo they stuffed themselves before we went to bed! (maybe my cats are food addicts, too!!??)...I was trying to exercise before I fed them, which I DID DO... but, its so distracting to have my cat yelling at me...

I really don't want to run down and feed them, cause I know i will get distracted doing something else... will ya have some self control, Jill!?

but, maybe getting them out of the way, will help me FOCUS on exercising....

a thought to ponder anyways....

did my 20 minutes of stretching, exercises....

then got on the scale... ****drum roll****

207.6!!!

I started last Tuesday at 215.8 .... thats 8 pounds this week... I know alot is water weight, cause I had my period, PLUS I was eating sooooooooo much sodium, Im hoping thats going ot be better under control now that Im watching what has sodium....

I dont know why Im not more excited and still crabby...I guess I do know why..Im filled with despair....

My daughter called last night, she's going to Aruba with a friend, I miss her soooooooooooo much... I do want to see her before she goes, but I gave up my car during the custody dispute... stupid stupid stupid, I lost a lot during my custody dispute with my ex for son a few years ago...to make a long story short..he could afford a better lawyer and my kids were itching to try the "good life"... who could blame them, they are teenagers after all...If I didn't fight my ex, Id be in a better financial position AND id have a car....

God, if I could just stop feeling sorry for myself...

I didn't let my daughter know I was on the verge of tears talking to her....I hate to do that to her, she seems to happy in her new life with her rich father and stepmother, in her gorgeous home with her new excellent school district, why should I spoil that with MY sadness.... shes on her way to a wonderful vacation in a few days...

me, i'm fighting despair daily....missing my kids...not knowing what to do with myself... my life was being a MOTHER... what am I now, I know, still a mother, just a different kind of mother...

GET A LIFE JILL

I'm trying...

Maybe I shouldn't be a daycare provider anymore... I dunno....

WOW! ok, Jill... OFF THE FREAKING PITY POT!!!!

I know ill feel better when I start taking better care of myself, WHICH I'm doing....

I know my kids need to know that ill be okay... and when they see me, they see me healthy... that will be good for them....my life cant be all tied up to them....its a lot of responsibility for them....

I made it thru the first week, I got the rest of my life to keep it up... who knows, maybe ill look awesome by summer and be able to lay on the beach, and PRETEND I'm in Aruba!!??

Thanks for reading this my friends....I'm feeling better, guess I just had to get that out.

You think we eat to cover up feelings? and now mine are coming out? Probably so.....

Id love to hear from people who have learned other ways to deal with their feelings instead of overeating, that would help a lot....

plan for breakfast:

2 tbsp peanut butter
cup skim milk
banana

gonna go down to the basement and get my anger at my ex out by throwing ice cubes at the wall.. that always helps...:biggrinjester:
 
Hello Jilly,

Sorry you are feeling so down today, I just wanted to say Keep your head up. I have a child and went though a nasty separation from my ex too, so I know how hard it can be. I also when thought what your kids are...my father left my mother when i was 2 (he has always had more money and the "nice home" ..still lives in a 1.5 million dollar home..)..and my mom was just a working class single mother.I just think back to when I was a teenager and how I took my mother for granted. Now I dont know what I would do with out her, she was my rock when I divorced my ex and looking back I see how much she loves me and took care of everything i needed. Your kids will see it too in time...once they are out of those teen years where you cant see past today! :grouphug:
 
Jillzy, you are too awesome to feel sorry for yourself. I mean look, you lost EIGHT pounds in a week. I know how you feel though, honestly. I'm constantly feeling sorry for myself, per different reasons of course but still, I have my moments of self loathing.

You know what though? I tell myeslf I'm too good a person for whining. I've accomplished SO MUCH thus far, why doubt myself now? And I get over it, cause I KNOW I'm right.


I feel for you, honey. I know how hard it is to let go of someone you care about. It hurts really, really bad for about a week, then you begin to accept it. It'll get easier for you in the same way this lifestyle change gets easier.

She'll always be your little girl no matter what. That's what matters most. ((((big hug))))))
 
OMG, I am absolutely heartbroken for you Jill. I dont blame you for feeling absolutely terrible. You truly have a RIGHT to feel sorry for yourself, you're going through such a rough time. I agree this WL thing is a good focus to keep your mind off things. But your issues are totally legitimate so dont be so hard on yourself. I just want to give you a big hug, and I'd drive all the way to Rochester if I thought it would make you feel any better.
 
oh wow, thank you guys ((((hugs)))) Im going ot write you all privately but I wanted to say how honored it is to have such wonderful people in my corner.

I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!

Group hug!! :grouphug:

Im feeling a bit better, just taking a little break right now, one of the babies I watch is having his own miserable day, so we can be miserable together.

anyone have any ideas how to keep two one year olds busy all day when its too cold to go outside? I'm losing my mind! :biggrinjester:

oh goody, its almost lunch time...then comes nap time!!

Hooray!

ok, back to the babies! xoxox
 
Jilly,

I would pm you back but it wont let me till I've been a member for more than 5 days!!!......anyway I will be around all day!. Sorry no ideas about the one year old... one is a hard age...too big for the swing and to small to do activities!!... you have your hands full...:willy_nilly:
 
lunch:

1/4 cup almonds (jeeeeeeeeeeeez, 1/4 cup packs in 240 calories!!)
1 cup romaine lettuce
1 cup baby spinach
1 cup lima beans
1 tbsp olive oil (I REALLY to find something else to put on my salad!)

snack:

1 small apple
1/4 cup cottage cheese (high sodium I just noticed)

according to fitday.com, I haven't even gotten HALF of my nutrients yet, argh....it sure is a challenge to get your nutrients (popping a multivitamin)

ps. throwing ice cubes when you're mad feels soooooooooooooo good!! It kinda feels like breaking glass, but you're not actually breaking anything! (but ice cubes)
 
wow!! I found this on youtube today, holy cow!! Look how this guy transformed himself!!
 
I forgot to post me dinner!!

4 oz chicken breast, cooked in the oven with some sliced squash
carrot & celery stick
 
yay!! Kids are coming for dinner tomorrow!! wooohooooooooooo

Happy Happy Joy Joy!!
 
Oh Jilly! :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: What you're going through with your kids has got to be tough! Teenagers tend to be selfish and wrapped up in themselves (I sure as hell was!), but as someone else mentioned, they'll get through that stage and come to realize how wonderful a mom you are to them, and will appreciate you more. But they are coming to dinner tomorrow night!!!!!!! :hurray::hurray::hurray:

And last but not least: COGNRATS ON LOSING 8LBS!!! THAT IS ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC!!! :hurray::hurray: :party:

I am so proud of how well you're doing. Honestly, with all the crap you are dealing with, I have to give you tons of credit for not falling off the wagon. You are sticking to this so well. Big hugs for that! :grouphug:

LMAO@you chucking ice cubes! Now get a punching bag and put a pic of your ex on it!! hehehe
 
pm snack

cup plain nonfat yogurt
1/4 cup blueberries...mmmmmmmmm

todays totals:

Cals 1383 fat 56 carbs 147 protein 86 sodium 1902.8

Lima beans were the BIG carb today!

vitamin D is up to 90% required

Iron is still at 77%, its my goal to stock more iron rich foods...chicken livers, oysters, Thyme, soybeans....etc...

water: 14 cups today and still sippin' away...
 
My Measurements as of today, compared to last week:

Chest 45 inches (same)

Upper Arm 13 inches (down 3 inches!) wow! those arm exercises must be working!

Stomach 39 inches (down 2 inches this week!)

Hips 49 inches (down 1 inch)

Upper thigh 29 inches (down 1 inch)

I'm asking Steve if he can help me with my workout routine ****fingers crossed***
 
Steve is awesome, and I'm sure he can help you. :)

I can't believe you lost that much in your arms in one week! That's great. Mine haven't changed since I started. Still 14" last time I measured--which was in December.
 
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