Icychic's Weightloss Diary

It was making both of us miserable. Much better now that the decision is made! Now it's a question of planning the rest LOL. So many decisions! And for me being generally indecisive that is not a good thing hehe. Oh well, I have my ladies to help me with my decisions :)

I often don't feel like making dinner either. Just want to go home and sleep. Glad I have my new crockpot! Though now it's almost too big for 2 of us, I can't catch a break! But that's OK. Just gotta put a little less in it. Need to find more recipes too.

So this morning...140. I'm OK with that! Still didn't workout yesterday or today. Have someone coming by at 1PM today and need to get a shipment ready to ship this afternoon as well. After that I think I will shut down for a bit and workout. Then again I always say that and things always get in my way, whether work or life or my own head. Hoping today that won't happen.

Lots of running around to do tomorrow along with a friends bday dinner and a games night at another friends place. Need to make cheesecake tonight for the games night tomorrow. Exciting!

Really need to catch up on everyone's diaries today too.
 
I feel super crappy today. No workout again, ate some chips, time to pickup graham cracker crumbs and make a cheesecake for tomorrow. Hopefully next week is better than this one.

On the bright side, 140 this morning. Hopefully it stays there or goes down for tomorrows official weigh in. I'm waiting until at least 135 before I re-measure as I know I haven't lost inches yet and do not need the proof staring me in the face through measuring tape. I know I will get there, but I need to get my butt in gear and get moving and working out.
 
I feel a bit crappy today myself! But we will both most likely begin to feel better.

Hope you have a good time tonight with your friends and are able to put the day behind you! I'm about to try to put this morning behind me too! :)
 
Hey you, I see you have lots of wedding stuff & personal finance stuff going on - ON TOP OF LOSING WEIGHT!!! Huh!
I hear you! We are totally in the same boat. The thing is we are having 2 - two!! receptions...I don't know how we gonna do it. The one in Europe will be paid my parents, but the one in here - we are paying for it. So defo no honeymoon for us. We have to pay for the tickets to go to Europe anyway.

TOM sux - I just got rid of it :p

I hope you find a good part time job soon!!
 
I need to catch up on everyone's diaries but right now just taking a few minutes for a quick post.

JadeLynn: The rest of the day and weekend was pretty good.

Justina: It is a lot to deal with for sure, but I'm getting through it. I can't imagine trying to plan two receptions! But at least you only have to pay for 1, then again tickets to Europe are NOT cheap! Perhaps you could just go away for the weekend someone cheap and close by? Just to get a way a little bit, and plan a longer honeymoon for later. I'm hoping we can find some good deals for our honeymoon, but still have to decide what exactly we want to do while we are there.

I haven't applied for the PT job at Staples yet, really need to do that since my friend got me the email address last week and the sooner I get a second job the better it will be, even if it does mean it will be harder to plan wedding stuff and have meetings and appointments for things, the extra money will hopefully help a lot.

I am done making excuses. I have been eating chips and chocolate and candy and it needs to stop. At least I have still been drinking lots of water, and I have tried to be aware of my portions for the junk and not eating an entire box of chocolates in a day or anything like that, but still. MUST start working out again! It's Thursday which means 2 days left this work week. Need to start locking the door over lunch and doing a quick workout, or locking up early and doing it then. I have the opportunity right now, and because of the wedding really hope that someone gets hired soon so they can be trained well and be able to watch the office while I'm gone for 2 weeks. Once a new person gets hired I will need to find another way of doing things which will possibly require setting up the house differently so the basement becomes a workout area (for both of us) more than a TV/Games area.

Anyways, main reason for this post is that since I started this journey I have not really even lost 5 lbs and it's not OK. There is practically no way I will reach my 115 goal by the end of this year, but I still have a chance to hit 129! 6 weeks, I must be good for 6 weeks, then I can cheat on New Years Eve and go back to it in the New Year to reach my final goal in terms of weight and toning and body shape by my birthday in early Feb. I do think that is possible, it gives me about 12 weeks which means a steady 2lbs/week. I can do this! I know I can, I just have to DO IT which is the hardest part. Seems lately while I have the energy in the middle of the day, by the time it's time to close up it's dark out and I'm tired and want to go home and sleep. Trying to remember to take my iron pills every day too because I know that will help my lack of energy as well. So here goes nothing. Got a few things to do, then going to stop goofing around and wasting time and do a workout, then back to work, apply to some jobs (PT ones and FT Payroll ones) and then I can waste time again. But NOT until those things are done. List being made!
 
When I read what you wrote, I thought well at least you were eating portion sizes. When I go on a bender I tend to eat the whole container worth of whatever it is. And yes, 6 weeks worth of focus is something you can do! Just keep at it!!! Tell yourself there is a stopping point and you will take a break for the New Year. I need to exercise more myself...so for that part we are in the same boat. :) Keep at it.
 
That's the spirit icychic! You can do this. You've got a plan and you're ready to take charge! Very inspiring. Remember to have some fun too though :)
 
Yeah still not doing anything. maybe this week? very upset and frustrated with myself.

140 yesterday.

still need to catch up on diaries too.
 
Icy, looks like you have been in a funk like I have been -- and around the same time. Don't worry, you can turn it around and be strong for the next 6 weeks!
 
Thanks GreenSurf, funk sounds like the right word. I have the motivation and energy until I have the time, then I'm dead tired and just go home to waste the evening.

139.5 this morning. Hoping to catch up on some work and then diaries and then other things.

Sadly A has been off work for the last 2 weeks (cept for the odd 1-2 days he went in). He slipped on the ice in our backyard and knocked his hip out (can't remember if I mentioned this on here yet, sorry if I did). Anyways, after the doctors yesterday he has been given a note to not go back until Jan 10th. Of course as he heals he can always go back sooner but I think it will be at least 4+ weeks. He is now waiting for his work to get his Short Term Disability paperwork, not sure if they will back track for the last 2 weeks or start from today (which means the last 2 weeks and this week would be unpaid), but sadly because he hasn't been there long he only gets 60% of his pay, and sounds like that would not include overtime he works so it will be about half of what we need him to be making. Not cool with wedding plans and all, looks like I REALLY need to apply for part time work and may be dipping into savings and line of credit for everyday expenses, not just the wedding. *sigh* seems like we will never be able to get out of this. He has 1 friend looking into a job that would require little to no lifting, and another that may be able to get him into plumbing (would still have minor lifting and a lot of bending/crouching, but hopefully will be better than the heavy lifting he currently has to do for work). hopefully something comes of one of those options this week so he can heal and start working again in 2-3 weeks.

So much to deal with, but still hoping I can get into a workout routine this week. Have wedding errands to run tonight and tomorrow, then hopefully I can get an evening PT job and do all my wedding stuff on weekends. But it's time to get back to work so I can get other things done afterwards.
 
Sorry your having a tough time. You've kept the weightloss going despite the stress and you should really be proud of that. I hope A heals quickly and good luck to you both!
 
Thanks Quercus!

I'm definitely glad that while I had a couple ups I haven't gone back to my starting weight. And today I'm back to 139, the lowest I have been yet during this process. Was last at that weight back on Nov 3rd. Hopefully it keeps going down :)

Still need to catch up on weeks worth of peoples diaries and get going on my workout routine. So behind on the IcyStarCloud that I realized it was done on Nov 3rd...that sucks but I think I will start a new one instead of trying to catch up that one.
 
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Thanks to Quercus for posting this in their diary:

Quercus said:
I found a very inspiriting write-up yesterday that I thought I would share.



It's Ryans01's wall o'text, but worth the time to read IMO.
Click to expand...

Talking with my mom the last few days she has been reading a book (can't remember the name) but it's about always thinking of the positive. Thinking of the positive will make the good things happen. Now I don't know if I'd go as far as saying if you keep thinking positive and wishing for good things and throwing it out into the universe that it will happen, but there is some truth behind it to due with perspective. When you are in a good, positive mood, you see all the good and positive things around you. When you are upset and negative all you can focus on is the bad and you will miss out on the good and could miss out on opportunities. Well seems this Ryan guy is going one step further in his post to show you ways of staying positive and working towards your goals.

I vow to have NON-ZERO days from here on. I will be sure to always do some sort of exercise, something towards finding new jobs, and something towards wedding planning. Those are the 3 things I am working towards right now, other things like house cleaning etc are further down on the list.

Every day at night I want to start thinking about the good things I have done that day and the things I am thankful for. I may have fleeting thoughts of my failures for the day, but I will focus on the good and make a plan to do better the next day. I like Ryan's Rule #2: the part about doing things for your future self. You aren't doing it for who you are now, and I know we are told to live in the present, but I think part of living in the present is to work towards your future goals and who you want to be tomorrow, next year, and 5 years from now.

#3 is something I have been working very hard on. Forgiving myself for my failures. It is the reason why I have not fully quit this process even though I haven't really worked out in weeks. Putting myself down will only hinder my progress.

So I have noticed it is lunchtime. I should do work stuff but not gonna. Checking emails once more, locking the door and doing a workout of sorts. Even just for 5 mins, I'll see how far I can get. Also need to find new workouts for a new workout challenge I want to start up. Not feeling energetic, actually feeling tired like I could fall asleep in 30 seconds, but here goes nothing!
 
I'm happy you found Ryan's post helpful. I think the non-zero day idea is what has me losing weight again. I started with tiny things that I would have dismissed as "making no difference", but they have snowballed into larger actions and now I am very motivated and continuing to move forward. The guilt/forgiveness is a big part for me too and I imagine it is a big role with everyone that struggles with being overweight.

I hope you continue to find success and congratulations on you coming marriage!
 
Thanks for the support Q :)

I think the non-zero day idea is great! It's not about the fact that one push-up really isn't going to do anything calorie wise, but it gets you into the right mind set, and really while you are down there you will probably do more than one. And once you get going might move to something else. But even if you don't, at least you can say you did SOMETHING and that's the key. That's what I haven't been doing and what has caused me to fail in my opinion. I may not have gained weight, in fact it seems I have still lost a bit even without working out, but I have failed because not working out does not help me.

And I agree, forgiveness is huge. Not forgiving yourself means you aren't moving forward, in fact you are moving backwards and holding yourself back. I always had the mind set that you can't change the past, you can't change what you did, or didn't do, all you can do is change what you do now and in the future. So focus on that.

Well I did it. I finally worked out again. . Very low impact, but I started to sweat at the end and I could feel my muscles working. I could have gone harder but I did it, the whole way through, and then a 5 minute cool down as well. And normally I would have stopped, because as I was searching for the workout I was looking for I got a call about a PT job I applied for (well the company I sent my resume to but no real job that I applied for but still, yay!) and then right after that my sis called to get me to reschedule our plans tonight to check out chair covers for the wedding. So I rescheduled that, am waiting on a call back in the next day for a possible interview Thursday if they can move the shift to work with my needed start time (6pm instead of the 4pm they want - but the place is 5 mins from me so yay! Not the same location I was at before so that kinda sucks but still, pretty cool!) and then called my sis back and was talking to her for another 10 mins but I just took care of it, and then found the workout and just did it.

Hopefully I can keep that going the rest of the week and shed some more weight according to my scale (which honestly I still don't believe but I'll take it). Weather is really crappy. Snowing, windy, cold. Ick! Need to get a new key cut this weekend for my car so I can start starting it briefly over lunch and possibly again before I leave so it warms up faster. Last night I left work and it finally got warm 10mins later when I was almost home, blah!

I am feeling better now than I was before. Still tired but that's OK. Time to eat and get back to work!
 
I'm so glad you wrote what you did about forgiveness. That's where I am right now. Needing to forgive myself for my crappy weekend. I have been dwelling on it, but I think I'm finally getting past it. I'm moving on and looking forward. That's all I can do right? Pouting about the past will not change it. It's just going to drag my morale down even more which I don't want.

I'm glad you got your workout in. I'm going to check out the link you posted. Since it's low impact maybe I'll be able to do it without bugging my hip? I need to do something. Sitting idle is not doing my any favors.

Good luck on the job front. I hope things are getting easier for you.
 
Yes you should take a look. Hopefully you can do all, or most, or what they show. I'm thinking low impact will be good for me right now while I strengthen my knees more (and the rest of my muscles to be honest). Doesn't burn as many calories but maybe I can sneak in 1-2 HIIT workouts in between.

If you go on the Fitness Blender website you can search specifically for Low Impact and see what else you can find. And don't forget to stretch well before and after.

Hoping to get another workout in today. Not sure about tomorrow, have an interview for a PT job over lunch but will try after getting back to work to squeeze one in. Dog was up every 2 hours last night whining to go outside and then not wanting in for a few so I'm super tired today. Hoping she sleeps well tonight because I need a good sleep!
 
Forgot to say...140.5 this morning :( Blah.

Oh but I did shovel the sidewalk yesterday too. That sucked!!
 
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