im a starved crazy woman this week

its that time of the month as i know you all were dying to know.. and although i feel the natural bloat, ive been okay even though i want to bury my face in a buttercream frosted cake, with doritos on the side.... today is an off workout day, i may treat myself to something later on... maybe... if i start salivating
mentally im doing ok. i havent been spending as much time on here as i'd like, since work has me crazy right now. plus ive really been taking advantage of the weather and doing some running outdoors, so my lungs are loving it, rather than running in a smelly, sweaty gym, with a fan blowing in my face!
emotionally im doing a little better... everything comes and goes with ups and downs with all the "stuff" thats going on in my life right now. for example, my date on saturday... great guy, super hot, funny, charming and we ended up having a great time.... i was laughing and finally remembered how much fun i could have with someone else... then immediately felt so sad because all i could think was "this should have been my ex"... almost like we never shared such light fun before... so it was a bummer. then the up side is, hey... i still got it, at least... going out on dates... then the down side is, yea, but i still have a lot of love for him, etc etc
so what do i do? i just bury myself in running or in the gym. and i have to say, i dont know what i would do without all these endorphins. probably jump off a bridge! these endorphins honestly make me FEEL GREAT! and help me see that everything isnt so bad.
im trying to channel my body into every time i start feeling depressed or sad, i want to automatically turn to physically activity. like i want to be the girl who gets super sad and depressed one day and all i will be craving the gym because i know it will release all the negativity.
ok ok im rambling... have a good day everyone. i will be back tomorrow to visit everyones diaries!
