Geti it off...stay off...

I am back at last!!!!Did not have a good time at all.with 3 kids and 3 dogs in a trailer that is NOt good at all!!!
i had to eat whatever in these last days and i feel so horrible and fat..its just so awful i cant start to explain
before i left i bought a dress on sale for only 7,50 euros it is a size Large but it does not fit me the least.i got it though so i can fit in next summer...
im back to wearing my size 18 swimsuit.my size 14 fits but its so terribly tight i didn't wear it on the beach....
my nephew came over from Hungry and he said to me that its really nice to see that i have lost weight and also stooped smoking!he is only 11!!!cant explain that one!
i hated every photo taken of me on vacation so i haven't much to show only the lovely surroundings...

Br coffee---70 cal , 2 slices of bread (128 calories) tiny bit of margarine 2 teaspoons strawberry marmalade
12 ish low fat yoghurt

lunch 1 stuffed tomato 1 stuffed zucchini (stuffing was rice/minced meat and loads of herbs) baked , some feta cheese 2 slices of bread
dinner 1 nectarine

30 minutes bike---340 calories

i need to get through some stuff on the internet and then sleep i am getting up really early tomorrow.will be back tomorrow!loves to all!


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:( Oh no, that sucks! Looks beautiful on that beach though.

I love your dress, what a bargain! It'll do up in no time, don't worry.

Haha, your nephew has got an old head on young shoulders! Can't beleive he said that :D
 
Aww Jess! Try to be kinder to yourself sweetie & you will get back to where you were last Summer. That dress is gorgeous & it will fit you. You have the ability to lose that excess weight- you have done it before & you can do it again. C'mon sweetie. You are a lovely woman & it is about time you realised it! Mwah xoxoxo Cate
 
thank you ladies~
I had a ok day yesterday had yoghurt and fruit for breakfast and a good lunch.it was in the afternoon that i had some crackers and some bread was feeling so hungry and so tired
i have loads of work to do for my nephews b day party on Friday ,i am doing all the decorations i choose i pool/shark party theme i hope i can pull it off and he likes it!
I am going to do my bike today since i didnt manage it yesterday...was so tired i just wanted to sleep...Hope i have to strength to keep myself on track today.I just need to loose some kilos to get my mood up and that also means my determination up as well
 
HI ALL...the party went fine thanks .here s a link to my blog about parties and all upcoming parties i do will go in there...i am a failure...had 2 crepes before with nutella in...i just managed to make a plan...yes i actually am going to FOLLOW a plan..and i hate plans..specially plans about food.....i was flexible while making the plan as not to write down what to eat on Monday Tuesday etc but a list of NO and a list of YES.printing it now to stick on my fridge.not promising much but i am promising to stick to it for a week.....i ll change it after a week and probably let spaghetti in ..or feta cheese.i need something drastic i need to see some change or else i will never change and just stay fat forever...

NO ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, YES

BREAD ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ALL VEGGIES RAW OR STEAMED
CHOCOLATE ,,,,,, YOGHURT
COKE ,,,,,,,, 1 CUP COOKED RICE PER DAY
SPAGGHETI ,,,,, CHICKEN BREAST ,,,,,,,
BUTTER ,,,,,, FISH
BISCUITS ....... GRILLED BURGER
CORNFLAKES ...... 2 FRUIT MOST PER DAY
FETA CHEESE ....... OLIVE OIL
SUGAR PACKED SNACKS ,,, 88 CALORIE LOLLIPOP PER DAY
ICE CREAM ,, ANTHOTYRO IF CHEESE IS N?CESSERY


MUST DO -----30 MINUTES ON BIKE,100 CRUNCHES , STRETCH EXERCISES
MUST DRINK ----- 3,5 LITLES WATER PER DAY (WATER CONSUMED THROUGH/AFTER EXERCISE NT COUNTED)
MUST CUT OUT SALT AS MUCH AS I CAN
 
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Loved your photos Jess. What a very clever woman you are!!
Now......picture me coming over to your place & doing this- :cuss: if I hear(see) you saying this "...i am a failure..." even one more time!!!! Grrrr!!!!!
I like your list for one week at a time. I might try that too. Lots of love sweetie xo Cate
 
Thank you Cate.~~~
It is very hard for me at this stage to not feel like a failiure cause i know how hard it was to loose all that weight and i am here again fighting the same battle against myself...i will feel better when i loose some weight and actually SEE some results.I f i liked my self this way that would be another story...i don't..i hate it...
I used to go pass a specific mirror on the street every Saturday an THEN i loved looking at myself walking by ...i DONT walk past that side of the street anymore now cause i am disgusted of the way i look.I hate myself in any mirror reflection even in elevators i try to look away.
Good news is that printed and stuck that paper on my fridge and i have actually kept to it!!!YEAH FOR THAT!!!!
I have done everything except the workout .i have a heavy period and a headache.feeling really low.my painkillers are finished and i am not going to the pharmacy for more...i feel so tired.maybe its the heat aswell.its so hot here.

so here goes

DAY 1
Coffee
2 nectarines
1 low fat yoghurt
1 plate spinach with rice
1 piece of low fat white cheese (not feta)
4 litres of water (i think i should just make my bed by the loo!!!)
1 cucumber and raw carrots with vinegar and some salt
1 sweetie

Mario came up to me while i was on the internet and gave me a chewy sweetie.i ate it and AFTER i remembered that i had forbidden them.no damage though done it must be not even 20 calories
 
Was lying on the couch after my lunch waiting to rest for a little i was just thinking of what rainbow had posted earlier on her diary.(maybe she posted yesterday but i saw it in the morning)
I was thinking that i feel ok today so i should get on my bike,then excuses where coming to mind,then i was thinking to get on later and i was just really sad because i cant imagine myself as active as i was before.i dont feel like it ...i was wondering how rainbow is feeling i wish she could be here or i there and we would make each other change our minds.So i finally just got on my bike and did my half hour plus my 100 sit ups and last my fav stretching exercises.So what was the big deal about i think?i've done it.and you know i feel good.Not only cause i burnt calories but also because i am doing what i have promised myself to do/i have the rest of the afternoon free now,this is going to be a struggle i know,i am just taking it step by step.Fighting this battle against my own self.That horrible little voice in me that always tries to make me eat more and just sit on my behind.
 
DAY 2

2 Coffees
grapes
1 low fat yoghurt
1 nectarine
plate of beans
small piece low fat cheese
half a corn boiled

not my photo but thats the beans.dont know what they are called they are really large
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3,5 lt water
30 minute bike
100 crunchs
stretching
 

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Hello my lovely :)

I am gonna go to the beginning of your diary and have a read through.
Catch up with you soon.
So glad you're here. We did it once we WILL do it again and bloody well stay there this time. Xoxoxo
 
Hey sweetie

I totally understand your feeling of failure and being pissed off. We did so well last time and we were so happy. I don't know about you but I didn't realise how slim I was and how happy I was with my body until I had let it go!!!!!
Well lovely lady we are going to get right back to that person.

Love and hugs xoxoxo
 
Day 3

2 coffees
6 mini krispies
plate of beans same as yesterday
grapes
5 boiled zucchinis

may have a corn boiled or a low fat yoghurt

34 minutes bike
100 crunches ---how painful that was----
stretching exercises


/managed day 3!!!!Feeling really positive about this!!!Maybe i really do still have it!!!!Plus i got onmy bike without hesitation.i I said to myself that i am not even going to try and think of an excuse.just got on and time went by so fast playing Sonic on our ps3~~~~~~~~~

Kate i didn't realize how good i actually looked until now that i am all fat and uncomfortable again!!!We surely can loose.You are a rock anyway!!!Are you still running Kate?i have stopped.I said i would start running when i reach 84 kilos again.Its a bitter feeling i get when passing by the stadium or when listening to a specific song.....its something i do not want to speak about with anyone...it hurt my feeling..how silly does that sound????????????????
Want to be 89 kilos again soooo bad..just away from the 90's...i remember when i was 78 kilos and i was saying to you guys "please don't let me get passed 80 again!!!" aw...time went by and i have eaten myself up to nearly 100.....
How on earth am i going to be able to remain at a low weight?i don't want to regain again then loose etc....
 
Heya sweetie

It's weird how we still weren't happy with how we looked when we were so close to our targets. Cate said that it takes a long time for our brain to come to terms with that being us and that we are not fat any longer. That is a lesson learned for WHEN we get there again!!!
No, i'm not running :( haven't done it for months. I dread to think how bad I would be if I tried it now. Actually, I do nothing!!!!! I use to do 100 crunches a day and go to the gym at least three times a week and I just can't bring myself to do anything at the moment :( I totally understand what you mean about hearing music that I use to run to. It's heart breaking knowing that I use to be so fit an happy and now I can't get my fat arse off the sofa!!! I too don't want to talk to people about my running. I hate it when someone asks if i'm still running!!!
I have a broken toe at the moment so don't think I could run even if I tried but I will have to get my act together soon.

We will get back there my lovely and we will learn how to stay there too.

Much love Xoxoxo
 
Hi Jess, I have a theory that some fat fairy has sneaked up on us all & poured super glue on our bottoms & glued us to our chairs, while we weren't looking! Well, something like that anyway. I just can't get inspired to do anything much at all! We are going to have to fight it. Let's combine our strength (yes, we have it....it's just been hiding) & GET MOVING!! WE CAN DO IT!!!! I know we can. Good for you, getting on your bike. I will too this morning. I won't type in my diary until I have ridden at least 5km. Love you gals xoxo Cate
 
Goodmornig
I have not come here to write all though i was logging in.It has been really mad...things happening this week were just crazy.I have managed really good though !!!specially if you consider this crazy week and not been able to program any food.

day 3
coffees 3
some chicken breast
some orzo
1 slice of bread.
about 1 potato baked with olive oil
1 piece of my bday cake
1 koulouri
2 tiny biscuits (i really was trying them to buy for someone else!!!)

DAY 4
coffee 2
3 medium sized grilled burgers (i made them)only the meat
1 cup cooked rice
grapes
yoghurt low fat
1 cucumber

DAY 6
coffee 2
a few (maybe more than i should) whole wheat kritsini
low fat yoghurt
SPAGHETTI with meat sauce and some grated cheese ( my portion was very very very well.AND i didnt eat it all!!!!!!)
1 nectarine
iced tea
about 8 super thin rice cakes (maybe 200 calories all of them...)


Today is day 7 and i feel really ok.I know i shouldn't have eaten the spaghetti yesterday but as i said i really didnt have a choice and it was that or go hungry and i didnt want to do hungry....hungry is dangerous!!!!
I was 96,7 kilos last Monday ( i gained on our trip to the trailer..) i will weigh tomorrow.Getting my Monday to be weigh day again!See the "damage" of the week that passed!

So i know about the spaghetti and also that slice of bread was on the NO LIST.I like that i have that list stuck on my fridge! i think it helps to SEE it there in print.Not just in my mind.I was thinking of changing things on it this week.not sure what to do though.Or shall i have it for 1 more week?
i only worked out 2 this week but the rest of the days i wasn't sitting.i was really on the go!Plus on day 5 i cleans the top room and the terrace and i was beat by sleep time!
 
Well feeling a bit disappointed.I weighed in at 95,9 so i havent even lost a kilo this past week...i thought i would have lost it been 95 at least.i do feel lots slimmer.but that only a feeling not the fact.....i measured and no i havent lost anymore inches...is it possible i cant loose any weight?
This week is fresh now!i am not sure how to change the list of Yes and NO
Day 7 (yesterday)

2 coffees
2 pieces moussaka
grapes


im confused...going to think things over FOR ONE MORE TIME...this is complicated...when it really shouldn't be.
 
But you said you look slimmer, right? So it's a positive feedback from your body, do not mind the scale for the moment, it'll maybe drop, in my diary you can read a moment in my diet where the same thing happened to me, I had a stagnant weight for some days yet I felt slimmer and then I started to lose rather fast some weight, so keep up the good work!
 
It will happen Jess. keep up the good work. Benny is right- you feel slimmer & you will get slimmer. Keep up the good work sweetie! Try to reduce your starchy carbs (pasta etc) a bit & up your vegetables & fruit & move, baby move, get in the groove now, move baby move (sorry- that's an old song that came into my head! I feel so good at the moment that I'm breaking into song!)
We are all going to do this Jess! WE ARE!! Lots of love xoxo Cate
 
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