Respect to you for doing overhead squats. They are NOT easy to do!
Funny things you see in the gym
- Thread starter tonymcclellan
- Start date
Respect to you for doing overhead squats. They are NOT easy to do!
You're not the only one. My power pants split when I was squatting a few years ago. At first I thought I'd torn something in my body, because it sounded so weird, but nothing on me hurt so I didn't think anything of it and I racked the bar. For a fleeting moment, I thought "Gee, my shorts feel kinda loose", but I never thought they had actually ripped. Still facing the mirror, I went to wipe the chalk off my hands on my butt cheeks. It was then I realized I was wiping the chalk onto my NAKED butt cheeks. Panic started setting in
Naturally, the squat rack was at the end of the gym and the lady's locker room seemed like a mile away. I couldn't turn my back to the mirror because it wouldn't make any difference, would it? Everybody would still be able to see my naked butt outlined by two blown seams. I turned to one of my male gym buddies and asked if I could use his towel. In total oblivion, he said "Why do you want my sweaty towel?" I said "As you can see, I've split the a$$ in my pants and I wouldn't mind a little coverage." He said "Oh yeah, that's a b1tch (snicker snicker). I'll cover that up for you".
The walk to the lady's locker room seemed to take about 3 hours -- albeit in slo-mo. I didn't really want to run --- why bother drawing more attention to myself? My butt was doing that already.
The next day was bench day, so I was safe. Despite the fact the guys knew they could kid around with me, they didn't say a thing. Normally they would have. That's when I thought "Something's up". About a week later, the guys presented me with the "Nicest A$$ Award". Those were the days ...
No kidding. Every time I try I lose my balance.
I'm always in awe at the people in the gym who have the perfect gym outfits on, look like real pros and sit on the recumbant bike reading a magazine. It kills me even more to see them reading on the elliptical or worse the treadmill.
We've got those at the gym I go to as well. Those aren't real people. I'm convinced they are aliens.
In fact, I'm not even sure they breathe air.
In fact, I'm not even sure they breathe air.
There's one girl at my gym who shows up without fail in spandex leggings and one of those tops thats really a sports bra.... ok, its work out wear, thats not the problem... But my god, the amount of makeup she wears... Not just normal makeup either, always these HUGE fake lashes, so thick you can't see through them and almost up to her eyebrows - you can see them all across the room. Maybe they are like little eye umbrellas to catch the sweat?
She's also one of those girls that is very clearly there for the men's viewing pleasure. She likes to stand in front of the mirror striking poses that greatly involve "chest out"... And for some reason she is always so angry with the female race. If any of us girls try to say hi she glares at us like she's trying to explode our heads with her mind.
To her credit though, she is in great shape so she must do some real workouts while she's there.
She's also one of those girls that is very clearly there for the men's viewing pleasure. She likes to stand in front of the mirror striking poses that greatly involve "chest out"... And for some reason she is always so angry with the female race. If any of us girls try to say hi she glares at us like she's trying to explode our heads with her mind.
To her credit though, she is in great shape so she must do some real workouts while she's there.
Actually, last night was quite embarassing.
The Cardio Room has 4 large TV screens which all the machines face. I had just got on to the treadmill. I was the only guy in the room at the time. There must have been about 6 or 7 women in there.
It just happens that 3 of the large screens were on Channel 4 where "Embarassing Illnesses" was on. Within about a minute of me being there they did a section on Testicular Cancer where an entire Rugby Team stripped naked and checked themselves. And yes, there was full nudity, including close-up handling of scrotum.
It didn't much improve when they showed this 50-year old guy having his anus examined for god knows what.
I tried my best to act as though I completely oblivious to what was on the screens ...
I didn't expect to witness such things whilst at the gym.
It was embarassing.
The Cardio Room has 4 large TV screens which all the machines face. I had just got on to the treadmill. I was the only guy in the room at the time. There must have been about 6 or 7 women in there.
It just happens that 3 of the large screens were on Channel 4 where "Embarassing Illnesses" was on. Within about a minute of me being there they did a section on Testicular Cancer where an entire Rugby Team stripped naked and checked themselves. And yes, there was full nudity, including close-up handling of scrotum.
It didn't much improve when they showed this 50-year old guy having his anus examined for god knows what.
I tried my best to act as though I completely oblivious to what was on the screens ...
I didn't expect to witness such things whilst at the gym.
It was embarassing.
I saw something funny, and also terrible, at the gym yesterday.
We seem to have a lot of female bodybuilders and figure competitors train at my place (not sure why, it’s a rubbish gym) and this woman walked in yesterday with what could only be described as the perfect butt; it made Jessica Alba’s look flat and saggy. I’m not kidding when I say that every single guy in the gym had stopped lifting and was just looking as she did lumberjack squats.
Anyway, the funny bit was that I was in the middle of looking at her butt in shear disbelief that something so perfect could ever have been made (and also admiring the fact that she was clearly wearing no knickers under the thin lycra) when she turned round and had a huge sweat patch and camel toe showing from the front! I almost wanted to throw up
We seem to have a lot of female bodybuilders and figure competitors train at my place (not sure why, it’s a rubbish gym) and this woman walked in yesterday with what could only be described as the perfect butt; it made Jessica Alba’s look flat and saggy. I’m not kidding when I say that every single guy in the gym had stopped lifting and was just looking as she did lumberjack squats.
Anyway, the funny bit was that I was in the middle of looking at her butt in shear disbelief that something so perfect could ever have been made (and also admiring the fact that she was clearly wearing no knickers under the thin lycra) when she turned round and had a huge sweat patch and camel toe showing from the front! I almost wanted to throw up
Honestly, camel toe is the WORST look that a woman could possibly have. Big turn off. Do these women not realize what's going on down there?
I wear black lycra tights/top in the gym or 2XU compression wear. No sweat stains, no camel toe (because the lycra is thicker), and it looks great. There's nothing vulgar about it. It's just nice and smooth and sleek, the way I think women should look in a gym.
I concur.
Well, she could tone down on the bright colors, it clashes with her skin tone, and the blush she's wearing doesn't bring out the flush on her cheeks...she's just doing it all wrong, jeez..
(what was the topic again?)
A while back I saw a guy doing pullups while kicking his legs like a frog. Kinda looked like he was doing the breast-stroke. I don't know if he was trying to create momentum in doing that or what but it was strange and caught me off guard. After a few reps he realized I was looking at him like WTF? and he stopped. Later that day a buddy told me that he'd seen the guy do the same thing all time.
Do funny things you hear in the gym count? There were two guys behind me the other day talking about how they're on a "no-sodium diet." His explanation was "See when I have a pretzel or something, I just dust the salt off." They talked about that for awhile, then he said bye to his friend and told him he was going to Chick Fil A.
Was in the gym today and was just starting workout.. was in the lighter freeweights section with DB's (going up to 50kg or something) and I notice one of the benches missing.. so carry on..
Then I notice one of the set weight barbells is missing, look around, notice a guy going back and too with them after alittle while. I'm stood there inbetween my sets and wondering what he's doing to change barbells so often etc..
Anyway, I eventually notice there doing bent over rows backwards on an incline bench on the other side of the gym.
They moved a bench, under the cable frame thingy (with the pull up bar in the middle) 20 feet away from where the stuff originally was to do what were kinda of like bent over rows infront of a mirror.
But there was a mirror where the bench/barbells originally were
Oh and some guy was doing all sorts of curls, I was 10 feet away doing my standing military press, i finish my 3x5 and this guy gets a barbell, starts doing the same..
I'm all for doing your workout etc, but if just seems like he was doing standing curls, seated curls, all sorts, then once I'd done them he thought he'd do it aswell :S
Nice job taking up 1 bench, aload of barbells, 2 cable stacks, and a pull/chin bar all at the same time :/
Then I notice one of the set weight barbells is missing, look around, notice a guy going back and too with them after alittle while. I'm stood there inbetween my sets and wondering what he's doing to change barbells so often etc..
Anyway, I eventually notice there doing bent over rows backwards on an incline bench on the other side of the gym.
They moved a bench, under the cable frame thingy (with the pull up bar in the middle) 20 feet away from where the stuff originally was to do what were kinda of like bent over rows infront of a mirror.
But there was a mirror where the bench/barbells originally were
Oh and some guy was doing all sorts of curls, I was 10 feet away doing my standing military press, i finish my 3x5 and this guy gets a barbell, starts doing the same..
I'm all for doing your workout etc, but if just seems like he was doing standing curls, seated curls, all sorts, then once I'd done them he thought he'd do it aswell :S
Nice job taking up 1 bench, aload of barbells, 2 cable stacks, and a pull/chin bar all at the same time :/
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Could be a fighter training (altho you said he didnt look that strong so maybe not) but the tricep should only really be extended in the final part of the punch before impact so its the most important movement to train on the bench, normally stay away from it myself tho, dont do too much for fighting muscles
my old fitness first gym, (if anyone goes to one it may be the same) has a girls area up stairs, i see 1 guy with kinda sideswept 4 inch long hair, pretty good looking and in good toned shape with a vest on, pick up 2 dumbels, walk to the stairs and start doing what i call toe presses (standing on a step by about 2-3 inches and going up and down on tiptoes, knowing full well he would have to move every min to let girls pass him, i just thought to myself, why not go and do it by the freeweights with the steps provided (maybe he didnt wanna pose infront of the roidheads laughing at him lol).
Other day i see the same kid 3 daysi n a row come in the gym, hes maybe my size, im strong for my size and 10% BF, hes a bit round faced and looks the shy type, maybe aged 16.
he reads his piece of paper and slowly works around almost every machine (no freeweights) lifting around a third of what im lifting on them and without breathing, iv tried the second 2 times iv seen him to talk to him and explain he needs to breathe in and out on each rep instead of holding his breath for the 8 reps and that he would be able to lift more that way, but his headphones are so loud i can hear them so he will never be able to hear me. i cringe for him cus i know everyone else is thinking the same thing.
not something that happened in the gym but my brothers GF (one of these barbie doll types) came round our house the other day to enroll at our gym cus my bro told her she was putting on weight (joking around, she must be 7-8 stone lol) she had those cheek showing hotpants on and a bellytop (says she never been to a gym) my bro said to her "your not going to the gym wearing those, you look like a slut and il end up getting into a fight" chucked a pair of his shorts at her and told her to wear those, they were massive on her lol!
Last week i was on a business trip in the north of england, felt a bit out of place at the gym i had a week pass for as alot of the northerners in england are seemingly bigger than the southerners, sat at a machine, had a mouthful of water and was so worried about the 2 massive blokes infront of me on the freeweights (they allways look at me funny cus i train explosive to be a fighter rather than to be big and bulky) that i forgot to change the weight from the 15ks a girl had it on before me (shoulder press) with a massive exhale and pump i threw the handles upwards and realised mid lift that there was no weight, tried to stop halfway through the lift so it didnt make a big noise, the weights shot up in the machine made a big CLANK at the top and fell back down, was pretty embarrassing for me lols, they looked at me, i sniggered, they laughed, i just said "cor im stronger than i thought" in my southern accent and the bigger one of the two said (quoted from forgetting sarah marshal) "you sand like ur frem landan" which earned another few laughs from nearby big blokes on the freeweights and to top it off the shoulder press is at a different angle/longer pivot point than the one in my local gym so i put too much on it, 4th rep im thinking cr*p, now im gonna look like an idiot, breathed all i could into the 5th rep and caved halfway up, and the big guys mate says "not that strong tho eh?" couple of us laughed and i carried on, they seemed nice blokes tbh lol.
Got asked by my brothers mate "what weights should i lift to get veins like that" (i really dont know the answer) i told him to breath harder lol he was exhaling really hard for the rest of his workout, hes about 8 stone, the skinniest kid i know actually, but the gobbiest, he tried telling the guy at the front desk he was 15 because he thought the gym had a childs price like the swimming pool there, the guy refused him entry, so he had to get his ID out to prove he was 16 lol.
My first visit to my new gym i was told to stop kicking the punchbag so hard because its not designed to take that much force (one of the big freestanding ones) i thought to myself "you gotta be joking, i spent several months beating the cr*p outa the same bag at my last gym and never broke it.
Also got told to use the gloves provided when hitting the bag, a big old smelly seaty pair of boxing gloves, (yeah thats going to help me condition my knuckles and throw fast combos).
iv only spoke to 2 instructors at my new gym and they are both idiots.
something i personnaly enjoy is getting off a machine, and sitting on another, meanwhile some 30 year old 16 stone bloke, will go onto the machine hes just seen me on, expecting to be able to lift the weight but it dont move, and having to drop it by half, normally looking in my direction as they do, im only 12 stone, 5.8 running gear and super strong for my size, its an ego boost for me lol.
Girls walking on the treadmils, come one, seriously? paying £3.50 to walk for half hour? lol, better off going in the pool next door, or walking round the block its cheaper and does more lol.
thinks thats about everything worth sayign iv ever seen/expierienced.
Other day i see the same kid 3 daysi n a row come in the gym, hes maybe my size, im strong for my size and 10% BF, hes a bit round faced and looks the shy type, maybe aged 16.
he reads his piece of paper and slowly works around almost every machine (no freeweights) lifting around a third of what im lifting on them and without breathing, iv tried the second 2 times iv seen him to talk to him and explain he needs to breathe in and out on each rep instead of holding his breath for the 8 reps and that he would be able to lift more that way, but his headphones are so loud i can hear them so he will never be able to hear me. i cringe for him cus i know everyone else is thinking the same thing.
not something that happened in the gym but my brothers GF (one of these barbie doll types) came round our house the other day to enroll at our gym cus my bro told her she was putting on weight (joking around, she must be 7-8 stone lol) she had those cheek showing hotpants on and a bellytop (says she never been to a gym) my bro said to her "your not going to the gym wearing those, you look like a slut and il end up getting into a fight" chucked a pair of his shorts at her and told her to wear those, they were massive on her lol!
Last week i was on a business trip in the north of england, felt a bit out of place at the gym i had a week pass for as alot of the northerners in england are seemingly bigger than the southerners, sat at a machine, had a mouthful of water and was so worried about the 2 massive blokes infront of me on the freeweights (they allways look at me funny cus i train explosive to be a fighter rather than to be big and bulky) that i forgot to change the weight from the 15ks a girl had it on before me (shoulder press) with a massive exhale and pump i threw the handles upwards and realised mid lift that there was no weight, tried to stop halfway through the lift so it didnt make a big noise, the weights shot up in the machine made a big CLANK at the top and fell back down, was pretty embarrassing for me lols, they looked at me, i sniggered, they laughed, i just said "cor im stronger than i thought" in my southern accent and the bigger one of the two said (quoted from forgetting sarah marshal) "you sand like ur frem landan" which earned another few laughs from nearby big blokes on the freeweights and to top it off the shoulder press is at a different angle/longer pivot point than the one in my local gym so i put too much on it, 4th rep im thinking cr*p, now im gonna look like an idiot, breathed all i could into the 5th rep and caved halfway up, and the big guys mate says "not that strong tho eh?" couple of us laughed and i carried on, they seemed nice blokes tbh lol.
Got asked by my brothers mate "what weights should i lift to get veins like that" (i really dont know the answer) i told him to breath harder lol he was exhaling really hard for the rest of his workout, hes about 8 stone, the skinniest kid i know actually, but the gobbiest, he tried telling the guy at the front desk he was 15 because he thought the gym had a childs price like the swimming pool there, the guy refused him entry, so he had to get his ID out to prove he was 16 lol.
My first visit to my new gym i was told to stop kicking the punchbag so hard because its not designed to take that much force (one of the big freestanding ones) i thought to myself "you gotta be joking, i spent several months beating the cr*p outa the same bag at my last gym and never broke it.
Also got told to use the gloves provided when hitting the bag, a big old smelly seaty pair of boxing gloves, (yeah thats going to help me condition my knuckles and throw fast combos).
iv only spoke to 2 instructors at my new gym and they are both idiots.
something i personnaly enjoy is getting off a machine, and sitting on another, meanwhile some 30 year old 16 stone bloke, will go onto the machine hes just seen me on, expecting to be able to lift the weight but it dont move, and having to drop it by half, normally looking in my direction as they do, im only 12 stone, 5.8 running gear and super strong for my size, its an ego boost for me lol.
Girls walking on the treadmils, come one, seriously? paying £3.50 to walk for half hour? lol, better off going in the pool next door, or walking round the block its cheaper and does more lol.
thinks thats about everything worth sayign iv ever seen/expierienced.
Tell your brother to stop being a possesive ****. She has her own mind and can do whatever the hell she likes
