Oh my. You wonderful ladies always seem to know exactly what to say to make me smile to a point where my cheeks hurt! :biggrin: I don't know what to say to really express to you all how amazing your lovely comments make me feel!
No doubt, I will get to a point in life where I don't feel so insecure if I keep reading posts like that! hehe
Originally Posted by
Sparked
Aww Frogged, the whole dating thing can be rough – I've asked two guys out in my life and each time it was one of the scariest things I've ever done! (Both went well though, so thankfully there was no permanent trauma!) Luckily though, that place is on your route and you have an excuse to see her again.. it's not like you were going different places on the subway and now you're sitting at home filling out a Missed Connections form on Craig's list! hehe
I agree about not asking for chocolate wine, not because it brings your sexual orientation into question, but because your obvious intro is something like, “yeah, I'm getting this for my friend, she loves this stuff!†and then there you are talking about another girl, whom you're buying a present for, and then it just comes off all wrong
So yeah, maybe next time you have a delivery there you can just go to her for the signature (opening line of “I have a package for you†is optional!
)
Also, I'm interested as to why you say that you'll have to have surgery? Everything I have read says that it would be too soon to tell at this point and that you can't really know until you start to reach a rather low body fat percentage – is that different from what you've found?
And I can totally understand being hesitant to start a relationship because of body issues, but I would encourage you to not close your mind off to it either, sometimes the right person can have a way of making you feel comfortable with yourself. And anyway, you're depriving some poor girl out there of your awesome company, and that's just selfish!
haha, Missed Connections? lol, Spark
Although I don't think I'd have the patience or recourse to use that kind of thing. I'd have too much of a 'Serendipity' vibe going through my head the whole time. As in, if it's meant to be, it'll be. Hrmm. I'm not sure how much of that fate stuff I actually believe in, but I do believe that some things happen for a reason. So, who knows!
Hmmm, yeah that's a really good thought about the whole wine thing. If I mentioned I was buying it for a (female) friend, oops! See, that didn't even cross my mind at first! I just thought it would be a good thing to mention just to demonstrate that I'm not some kind of anti-social invalid and that I do in fact communicate with other women in my life aside from my Aunt and Nana!
LOL! Oh lordy. 'I've got a package for ya.' hahaha! Yeah, that'd probably make me blush more than anything else if I were to say that!
That may also backfire if she wasn't actually interested (creeper alert)! Well, I didn't have anything that needed signed today, so I wasn't up there this morning.
I will keep your suggestions in my 'Dating Vault' though!
Maybe I'll try that line someday.
Anyway, as far as surgery, I believe it to be inevitable for me. No amount of waiting, strength training, etc.. is going to fix some of the issues I see in the mirror. Like I said before, I feel like a mutant - which wouldn't be so bad if I had superpowers to accompany the fact! :biggrin:
Thanks again for the lovely reply (as always), Ms. Sparked!
Originally Posted by Crymlyn
Aww, c'mon now Frogged.. think about it from a practical point of view - you're getting in a tizz because a hot girl SMILED at you! Take a step back, have a deep breath and chiiiiilll! It should be a good thing, not a bad one!
I agree with Sparked about the chocolate wine! Maybe mention it's for a friend, but don't mention the gender.. possibly ask if SHE likes it as well? Or if there's anything she'd recommend, or her favourite, or whatever? Least then you have a platform to go from and also find out a little about her. Think of questions you can ask casually ask her that don't sound too calculated! (Nice weekend / recommended wine / food it best goes with etc..)
Also, you have to remember - everyone is their own worse critic. Everyone views themselves at least 10x worse than someone else does - one of my best friends, the hottest girl I know, who on the outside has bucketloads of confidence, has a bad body image of herself - and I know everyone who knows he,r including myself, think she's smoking! (She has, also, recently lost about 56lbs.) It takes a while to come to terms with, and I really do think you fret too much. I know you'll be reading this and thinking 'yeah right', but, it's true. You're a gorgeous guy with bucketloads to give, a wonderful personality and generousity coming out your earholes! And I genuinely, GENUINELY mean that - everything I've seen from and of you has been lovely. It's easy to just say the right things to someone to make them feel better, but I honestly mean every single word. You're bloody brilliant. It's a shame you'll likely be the last person to see and then accept it!
I'm not usually one for motivational speeches or quotes, but I did read one this morning that kinda fits this... "Ships are safe in harbours. But that's not what ships are built for."
Come out of your safe zone and go for it. If it doesn't work out, then, it's not meant to be - she could already be in a relationship for all you know. BUT, if it does, you could change your entire life for the better.
Sorry for not posting much, I've had the most horrific cold this week and had zero energy... but had to comment here.
hehe Crym, I know, I know. Little things like this definitely get me in a tizz because it's all so new to me! I may be 28, but you're talking to someone who is closer emotionally to a 19 or 20 year old. I just missed out on a lot of life experience in my mid teens, so I'm playing catch up now that I've managed to dig myself out of an early grave.
Hmmm, again, some really great suggestions too! That could be a nice way to start a conversation, even though I know next to nothing about wines!
I'm getting better at asking about casual things (aside from the weather), the only problem is the follow through. I get to a point where I'm ready to leave and run out of things to say, then the quiet awkwardness starts, so I panic, wish them well, and run :\
Yeah, and it's unfortunate that most people are their own worst critic. I see a lot of really wonderful, beautiful people on this forum that sell themselves short or think they're not. So, I understand what you, Luz, and Sparked are saying. But, I also still feel I have a ways to go until I can comfortably agree, ya know? I'm still considered overweight on BMI calculators and I do have a lot of 'softness' around my mid section. Then, of course, the loose skin. It's always on my mind, but I am starting to accept those compliments more and more, so keep 'em coming! hehe!
I can't wait until you all start posting more pictures as well! That point is coming for you, Crym, when you're gonna be a dynamite show off and inspire me and everyone else on this forum with your changes! From the pics I've seen, I already think you're beautiful and I think the same of Sparked, Luz, and so many other people I've seen on this forum!
I know you're being genuine, Crym
I do, and that saying about the ships is awesome! I'll remember that, but my pessimisstic mind would like to ask, 'What happens if the ship hits a reef as it's leaving dock and sinks?'
lol, sorry. I'm still a bit frazzled from work, exercise, and typing! Oh my.. typing a new encyclopedia on this page :]
I hope you feel better real soon, Crym! Thanks for mustering the energy to come here and make me feel better about my situation in life. You're bloody marvelous yourself!
Anyway, I just want to say how appreciative I am to all of you for your kindness and awesome vibes you bring to my little journal here! It really means a lot and I appreciate it more than words can say!
