Eerika's Diary

Dont know what to comment on first
Once again i am so amazed by your pictures,you are doing so well and your body has changed so much.I am insired so much ,cause i also have nearlly the same weight as u.
you're doing great!!!really
That plate of food looks so delicius i can nearlly taste it@@@@and that amazing house.I wish i lived somewere like that...or at leat a garden@@@u re so lucky!!!!!!
 
jasper said:
Dont know what to comment on first
Once again i am so amazed by your pictures,you are doing so well and your body has changed so much.I am insired so much ,cause i also have nearlly the same weight as u.
you're doing great!!!really
That plate of food looks so delicius i can nearlly taste it@@@@and that amazing house.I wish i lived somewere like that...or at leat a garden@@@u re so lucky!!!!!!
Click to expand...

Thanks sweetie for your comment once again! <3 Im so happy if I motivate anyone else than myself losing weight! I never thought I could do this, lose weight and change, but miracles happen I guess! :D Here I am, trying to actually do it, reach my dream! And Ive really started to believe it will be worth of every single tear and effort Ive made for this! In the beginning everything sucked, the whole diet was so hard. Im SO GLAD I didnt give up!
And YOU cant give up either, WE will make it!!!! Sometimes I try to imagine the new me when I dont feel so motivated, it gives me BOOST!

And about this lovely place where I live in.. Yes, I think Im lucky cos I can live in here! Surrounded by nature and we can have own garden, keep our pets free outside, smell the pure air, live in a pretty big house and neighbours arent so close either (like in the cities!).. I definitely LOVE FINLAND! :D Thats the reason I love living in the country side. I absolutely hate my apartment in the city, where I have to live cos of the school... :( Except next year when I will be most of the time in army, but I will keep my apartment anyway cos the army will pay it.
 
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Sometimes I hate being myself. Today has been one of those days. I had a BIIIIIIIG fight with my parents, they can be SO annoying! I hate when they act like martyrs! Everything is my fault and I should be more appreciative and do more and plaplapla!! Im so sick out of it! And they just repeat themselves saying those things to me every time we start to fight. And they dont even notice if there would have happened any change! LIKE today, mom had left a list for me about doing some things while she was at work, and I DID THOSE THINGS, and when the fight comes she repeats the frase "you never do anything". Thats just so unfair! Also I didnt get any job for june and Ive been having really hard time with the money, my parents like to twist the knife in my wound saying how lazy and stupid I am not getting any work. Even the whole job thing wasnt about me! I tried to find a job, really. :(

So cos Im feeling very insulted, I decided to go earlier to my home in the city tomorrow. :( I was so angry at them today, I told I wouldnt come to visit them in a LONG TIME! And I think I wont. This time, I meant it. Really nice to start my military service in a mood like this. This athmorphere is such a supportive and gives me strenght to keep going, NOT!

Im so fuckin pissed and sad.

So my evening was hell and I almost threw my diet out of the window.. Instead of it I just though fuck it, and ate two ice creams. Could been much worse.. eh.

Breakfast: Smoothie (banana, some natural youghurt, tulsi powder, juice soup.) Cup of tea with honey.

Lunch: Cup of tea with honey, rye bread with cheese and salami.

Dinner: Some pasta and chicken thingie.. Tomatoes.

Evening meal: 2 slices of rye bread, 1 fried egg, ham slices, cheese, tomatoes. Cup of tea with honey.

+ 2 Chocolate ice creams. :banghead:
 
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sorry to hear that.fights with parents are not good,and tend to hurt more than any other fight.....They care for us a lot but many times there way is not what it should be.It will pass i hope u feel better.you showed your strengh again eating only icecream.I know how it feels when u are sad and angry and just want to say fuck u diet...so your great!
I hope you have a better evening
 
Yes, I feel always so much more hurt if I fight with my parents. My mom hugged me this morning and said she doesnt want me to leave like this, apologized and said she loves me. Im glad she did like that.. But Im mad at my father anyway, he can be so cold and selfish if he decides so. He says such a painful words to me...

To little happier things. This morning the scale showed the lowest reading so far again: 85,5kg which means, that Ive lost 9,5kg! I really didnt believe I would lose any more on this week after yesterday, cos I ate so badly. If I work my butt off on this week, I may weigh 84 after this week! And I would be the mooooost happiest girl on this earth! I like seeing also my BMI going lower, yay!

How many of you have watched the show from MTV named "I used to be fat" ?? The show is AWESOME. I love it.. So inspiring!


Love u all!!!!! <3
 
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I do think they were being a bit unfair on you, you don't have long before your going away. And you did do what they asked you too. Maybe she was angry because of something else and took it out on you. I'm glad you've made up!

I loved what decisionmaker said about everyone in Switzerland having loads of guns in the house ready to pull together in war. I just love the whole spirit of it! I see Finland and Switzerland as being very neutral countries so it surprises me that the army is compulsory/done by ballot for both. Unlike England who are always getting involved in other countries scrapes and scuffles (dunno if that is a good or bad thing), and yet we don't have compulsive military. I think it should be compulsory, especially if you haven't done any further education by the age of 18, as them people in particular could probably benefit from some hard work and discipline.

Will check out "I used to be fat", there aren't many health related programmes on telly at the moment. There were loads when I was using weight before, I used to love watching them.
 
Switzerland's spirit sounds a bit scary though! :D Ive never understood the mentality of keeping loads of guns at home.. Like americans do, right? In Finland we dont keep guns at home, only the people who hunt.

I agree Finland being very neutral country, but Im happy the military service is still compulsory (there has been a lot of conversation about changing it!). There has been also a rumour that the shortest service from 6 months would be cut down to 4 months, which is ridicilous! In a while the military service will be just a clap on your shoulder! :D

Finland has gone through rough times because of the wars over 50 years ago, to become the independent country it is today. Both of my granparent's fathers had to fight in those wars, and Ive heard a lot of stories about it from my grandparents. It is kind of unbelievable how a small country like Finland beated the Soviet Union at that time. But all the honor goes to the people like my granfather's father, they were so brave. If Finland would be today a part of Russia, this would be such a shithole! That's why going to army is still compulsory for men, to keep our life in Finland in a this way.
 
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My weight likes to swing a lot. This morning it was 86,5kg, and I bet it will go even higher before sunday. Then it usually drops suddenly.

Foods:

Breakfast: Coffee with cream, oatmeal with sugarfree juice soup.

Lunch: Italian casserole.

"Snack": Stabling fruit drink with vitamins. Yep, thats what the bottle was named. Tasted gooooooood! :p

Dinner: More Italian casserole.

And thats about it. Maybe later I will eat some cottage cheese IF I feel hungry.

Today Ive been packing my bag and getting some stuff I needed.. Monday is coming soon, army here I coooooome! :D
(There's some pics of my packing! Sport bras and undies, swimming suit, socks, painkillers... Everything I need and little bit more! )
 
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I had no idea about Finlands history, you live in a plucky little country with a revolutionary spirit :) Russia is so rough and corrupt, thank god you got out of there.

Don't take too much notice of the scales on a day by day basis. There are so many things that can change our weight a bit (period, salt, amount we've drunk) that the numbers aren't going to be as accurate. Chill!

Wow, your leaving on MONDAY!!!!! Arrrggggghhhh!
 
Yep, monday is coming soon. Sometimes feels like too soon. Ha! I dunno am I ready or not.. :D There isnt room for second thoughts so it is a one way ticket now! :D

I wished I could have lost the 0.5kg untill monday so the total loss would be 10kg, but I think I wont make it. Today I had a bit more laid back eating day..

Breakfast: 250g Quark with sugarfree juice soup.

Lunch: Turkey fillets, cottage cheese.

"Dinner": 100g Chocolate bar, 500g Vanilla quark from LIDL.

Evening meal: Kebab-onion panini (grilled sandwich) Probably included like million of calories..

I havent even drunk much water lately.. Blah.
 
I found some gross pics from my 2nd diet week. For compare I took some photos right now, on my 10th diet week.

I dunno should I cry or laugh at those photos? Maybe laugh now, before I cried. But now Ive realised how fat I really WAS. Holy cow..

Im ashamed what Ive looked like for soooo long. And last week I sent some progress photos to my older sister (I see my sister few times in a year cos she lives so far away from me..) and after sending the photos I realised there was numbers in photos telling how much weighed in those.. I felt so embarrassed of her seeing them. Stupid but thats how I felt. My sister is such a gorgeous young woman, like a model. After all of course she was supportive and plapla.. But Im like 20kg heavier than she is.
 
You are looking GOOOOOOOOOD girlllllllll!

Oh no! I would be so embarrassed accidentally telling anyone I knew my weight! Especially skinny people! I'm sure she really doesn't care what number shows on the scales when you stand on them, but it still must be cringe-y.

You'll be fine in the army, I bet everyone else who is going with you are sitting at home feeling the exact same thing as you x
 
Ive kept a few free eating days here. Havent stepped on a scale either.. I havent eaten much though, but yesterday I had few tortillas, some nachos and dip, soft ice cream.. Today I ate ice cream FOR BREAKFAST and some ricepies with eggs and then more ice cream.. Haha!

I definitely need to continue my diet tomorrow cos my tummy is going all upside down! And it doesnt help that it already goes upside down if I think about monday and the military service. But I was thinking about getting some pizza today though.. :D
 
Don't be too naughty! Its alright to have a free eating day every here and there, but don't ruin your diet, your doing so well!

I'm going away tomorrow, so won't be able to send any more messages, so I'm sending you loads of healthy eating vibes, well wishes, luck, strength and happiness for the army xxx Hope it's fabulous :) Keep me updated, I would love to hear about what its like. xxxxxx
 
Silly question but im going to ask.I figure there is no internet in the army?so we will loose you here at the forum|?:-(
You look as if you,ve lost more that 10 kilos.You must be proud!you already look good plus you are very pretty,
Please dont be very bad on your eating.You have made such an effort to loose these kilos!Try to be the best u can!
 
You're right, I shouldnt be too naughty. But what has happened has happen.. Ive eaten for last three days badly, so on saturday I WILL continue the diet foods. I was really surprised how the pizza didnt make me happy, used to I was a pizza lover. I also threw half of the pizza away! Ha, never done that before! Obviously emotional connection between me and food has dissapeared! Im so glad about it. ITS JUST FOOD PEOPLE! Let's get over the obsession about food, immediately. ;)

And I definitely dont wanna throw my almost 10kg weightloss away and start eating badly again.. NONONONONONOOOO! Never gonna happen.. But when my brain needs a break, I will take it. But three day break, hmm.. I should worry. I know. And at the moment I am worried. SO tomorrow morning I will go for a morning walk, eat my oatmeal and start a diet wise day! :)

And Jasper, thats not a silly question. I will probably take my laptop with me so I will be able to be online some evenings when we are aloud to. At least next weekend I am able to check this forum! Im definitely keeping you guys posted, you all mean SO MUCH to me! This forum gives me support and positive energy, all I need on my weightloss journey! You will be on my mind every day! And I wish all the best to you as well, you must stay strong and keep on going! <3
 
Heyy, I just wanted to say I will be off to the military service tomorrow morning and I wont be around for a while! But I will be back in a 2-3 weeks, hopefully few kilos lighter as well!! :coolgleamA:

I hope you guys will keep up the awesome work and wont give up!

Special thanks for the Overtherainbow, Jasper and Decisionmaker who have support me by writing the nice messages to me!! :hug2:

xoxo
 
:D GOOD LUCK Eerika! We'll all be thinking of you and wishing you good vibes!

You will be great - you'll have to send us some pictures of you in your uniform some time! And when you can fill us in and tell us all how it's going, please do!

xxx
 
I was thinking of you,wondering how it is going in the army and about your diet too.
Hope u are fine and doing well!
Miss you ,hope u can post soon!
 
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