Eerika's Diary

AOh Eerika - I wrote you a huge long lovely post and then my computer froze!!!! GRR!!!

I just really wanted to let you know that, no matter what you have to do, we here will support you. If you need to take a break for a while to get your head into a good space, that's totally fine. We will expect you back here as your awesome gorgeous self sometime soon though! I really hope you are okay... sounds like you have been having a pretty rough time.

Sending you lots of love up to Finland!
 
AHi Joh and thanks for message! Im living difficult times since my bf wanted to break up with me. I dont have motivation towards anything at the moment... Even school is just whatever to me at the moment. Im not feeling well, but taking day after another.. But I wish I shouldnt be this person, feeling like this.
 
AHey there... Im at the point I should do something again. I mean Ive gained weight a LOT in last two months. After the break up I started to eat, couldnt stop. And here I am again, feeling so unhappy. I weigh 95kg, OMG. Last christmas it was under 90kg, but now its like holy moly.. 95kg. And Im soooo feeling it. I need to start my weightloss journey again. :(
 
Hello Eerika!!!! I'm SO glad you're back, dear child!

I think many people on this site have been where you're at right now- I know that I have been! The hard times in life can really be SO difficult to deal with, and people like us tend to eat when things go bad.

But it's really good that you're back here and writing in your diary. I know that you realise that you have the power to get back in control and start feeling good bout yourself again.

Maybe you can re-start by a tracking your food here and writing about how you feel.

Do you feel up to doing some sports? Even walking with a friend can really raise your spirits and burn calories. I wish I were there to walk with you!!


You are a very lovely girl and I'm sending you lots of hugs and positive energy!!
 
AHey lovely Rox, I needed those words. I really need to start writing again and find my spirit. I know I can do it, so that though carries me on.. I will write more later, Ive decided to start the new me tomorrow. Tonight Im gonna cry a bit and tomorrow I try not to look back.
 
I hope you've had a good cry by now and are feeling a bit better.

I'm checking here often, hoping to read more from you very soon.
 
A
Today has been fine. I woke up when the morning sun lightened my bedroom and I went for a morning walk for an hour. Im having my skiing holiday for this week. In Finland we have this skiing holiday usually on 10th week. Ive been in practical-training for last 4 weeks at the hospital, so my first period in surgery is over. I must say it was very interesting time, but also mentally hard. A lot of sick people, people who have cancer, dying people.. It made me see how lucky I am, and I should appreciate & enjoy my life. On my last day at the hospital one of the patient died, he was only 58 years old. He had a liver cancer which had spread all over his body. But what was the worst thing, he had got the diagnosis only four weeks before! So I was there when he came to hospital and I was there next to him when he took his last gasps. It was so sad, and it made me realise important things. After I had to clean the body and put him ready for pathologist. This life is just so limited.

Anyway, I want to change my life. I need to think about me! I know I cant love anyone else before I start to love myself! At the moment Im feeling like Im on the bottom again, but I see light. :)

Otherwise Ive been eating my diet foods today... Porridge for breakfast, fish and veggies for lunch and so on. Im feeling just fine. :)

http://weight-loss.fitness.com/image/id/346981/width/350/height/263

Lunch: Fish, cottage cheese and veggies!
 
You're right- you do need to think of yourself! Your job requires you to give a lot of yourself, so you need to take special care!


Good job on the food so far.

See you tomorrow, dear!
 
AFOODS:

Breakfast: Porridge, cottage cheese, sugarfree berrie soup, chia seeds.
Lunch: Chicken and little bit of rice, lots of veggies and sallad.
-Recovery drink after body pump lesson-
Dinner: Same as lunch..
Evening meal: Unspiced yoghurt, some weetabix, sugarfree berrie soup and one tiny bite of rye bread with ham.
Oh, and lotssss of water!
I think calories are around 1500-1700. Ive been feeling hungry, but thats how it is meant to be! I remember last year when I started to diet, the beginning was hard.. So it is now, but I dont want to give up. No way!

Now Im off to bed! xoxo

p.s. weighed myself this morning, 93,1kg! Sooo its going already down!
and motivation pic for today!

http://weight-loss.fitness.com/image/id/347231/width/350/height/286
(weheartit.com)
 
AOoooooh your back! At the same time as me :) Lets get back on track together!

Are you still with your boyfriend? How are things going? Hugs xxxxx
 
Hey erika so glad you are back here1!!Determined to gt to your goal this time!!!!

Its nice to hear you are still with your bf i hope you can get through stuff and be great together!!!

I loved the pic you posted!!!!Looking forward to hearing from you on a daily basis!!!!
 
AHi girls! I had very hard day! But it was the last and now I can take rest of the week more laid back. Ive been feeling hungry after every few hours! Ive been walking all day though, maybe it burns some calories and the hunger bothers me easier.

FOODS:
Breakfast: 3 eggs
Snack 1= 250g Quark
Lunch= Sallad, 1 avocado, half can tuna
Snack 2= Apple, 200g unspiced yoghurt, 30g weetabix, some sunflower seeds..
Dinner= Sallad, rice & chicken
Eveing meal= Protein bar (tasted like shit!)


Thank you so much for the messages, makes me smile every time I see your lovely & supportive comments!!
 
I hope this isn't going to sound horrible, but no, WE CAN'T USE THINGS IN OUR LIVES GOING WRONG AS AN EXCUSE TO PIG OUT!!!!! We will just be fat and miserable rather than skinny and miserable. And it can just become a vicious circle of eating cos you feel bad, then feeling even worse because of your weight. There are plenty of people in this world who are slim and miserable, and we can be two of them lol. I think it can be easy just to crawl under the duvet and be miserable when we are feeling down, but I think its important that you pick yourself up and be the best person you can be, do the things that you want to do, and make your life really happy. I think everyone should work on themselves because nobody is perfect, so I'm glad you said that. If he does the same thing, and you genuinely love each other than there's no reason why you can't be deliriously happy together!


How long have things been crap for? x
 
AI agree, but it is so easy to be that person... Fat one, eating like a pig. When you're feeling like you're the most loneliest person on earth and nobody wants you anymore, I wanted to eat. Ofc it comforted me.. at the time. But I still believe it would comfort me the most that I would reach my dream. And things been crap for about two months. At the moment Im more worried about myself than my relationship. I cant be this cruel to myself... If I would continue doing what I did, after few months I would reach 100kg. So hell no!

Now, Im having my morning coffee and then I will be going for walk. :) Later
 
AI agree, but it is so easy to be that person... Fat one, eating like a pig. When you're feeling like you're the most loneliest person on earth and nobody wants you anymore, I wanted to eat. Ofc it comforted me.. at the time. But I still believe it would comfort me the most that I would reach my dream. And things been crap for about two months. At the moment Im more worried about myself than my relationship. I cant be this cruel to myself... If I would continue doing what I did, after few months I would reach 100kg. So hell no!

Now, Im having my morning coffee and then I will be going for walk. :) Later
 
AHi, sorry I didnt post anything yesterday but the day was just an ordinary diet day. I went to gym also and felt huuuge hunger through the day. At the grocery store it looked like everybody else had a sweets day and I was pissed off about it holding a carrot package in my hands instead. I felt a bit good though when I saw fat people staring the candy shelfs. Im evil I guess. :confused:

My weight has gone down 2,1kg in a week! So this morning it was 92,9kg instead of 95kg! Yay for me. I will be weighing myself officially on sunday though...
That made me feel a bit better this morning. :)
 
2.1 kg?! That's great news! It's so motivating when you make visible progress, isn't it?

You'll get to your goal before you know it!


Good job on the carrots, btw! My eldest daughter adores raw carrots- they're her favorite snack! (You always remind me so much of my own lovely girls!)


You keep going strong, sweetie!
 
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