cherry garcia's diary

That was such a touching story about the bus driver ;) Good on you Girl!!!

You are kicking it with the whole journey and I wish you the very best!!!!
 
Kori said:
Oh WOW Cherry, that is fantastic that you are learning to love yourself hunny! It doesn't surprise me that the Guy made a pass at you, you are very cute from your Avy pic, and you must be just glowing with happiness right now, for what you are doing... and how much you have already achieved! That subtle shift in self confidence is very very attractive to people!

You are amazing, and deserve all the best in the world!!!! :D Congrats on getting below the 320 mark! awesome work girl!
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thanks kori! for the very lovely message, and yes yesterday i was all happy and glowy...and couldn't stop smiling...lol!

Fat to Fabulous said:
Wow, what an inspiring story, your a fantastic person Miss and you're so pretty, your avator reminds me of my much prettier younger sister. That bus driver obviously saw a good thing! If you think he is hot then go for it!!!
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aw, thanks girl for the very kind words, i'm so glad i have you guys to pick me up when i'm down and i hope i can do the same for you as well.

Blancita said:
Well?! Were you into the guy or not..you never gave your opinion of him. If he's someone you could possibly interested in, may I please ask why you would want to wait until some later time?! Girl you've waited too long already. Everyone deserves some companionship and closeness in life. I'm so glad you are on the road to that. I say stop putting your life on hold while it passes you by.
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lol blancita! i know, initially i also felt abit silly for saying no, but the longer i think about it, the more i know that i still need just a bit more time to fix myself emotionally...then i'll be ready and have no more excuses. thanks for the encouragement hun.

kureransu said:
great job on the workouts and weight loss cherry! i am loving all the elliptical users, lol! anyway i was going to to tell you, if you are going for an hour on the elliptical now, one thing that i do to keep the heart rate up is to try to meet a certain distance in an hour. that forces you to keep moving at a steady pace, and your heart rate to stay up. i only change resistance when i can do nine miles in an hour. what i come to realize is that if i don't do it like that, my body will just do a speed it is comfortable with and it becomes too easy. Setting a goal forces you to stay above a certain speeed and it increases endurance as well. I can't even imagine what level 1 resistance feels like now! I am so dreading level 15 today, as i didn't charge my ipod :( anyway, have a great day!
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hey kureransu, thanks for checking in! and thanks for the elliptical tips because it does make alot of sense now. since i've done the elliptical for 60mins for three days in a row i noticed that yesterday i needed to work harder to keep my heart rate up and wasn't sure if i should go faster or increase resistance or a bit of both so sometimes i'd go slow and sometimes faster....but i like your idea of pacing myself and doing a certain distance per hour so that i space it out and do it all at a steady pace. i'll try that next time at the gym...it might have to be thursday or friday since this week is super busy for me...will let you know how it goes.

140Days said:
That was such a touching story about the bus driver ;) Good on you Girl!!!

You are kicking it with the whole journey and I wish you the very best!!!!
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hey 140days! thanks for stopping by my diary and for the kind words! i'm learning alot about myself on this journey and finally starting to live a little...it's only been a few months but i feel miles away from where i was last year which was rock bottom. anyway, taking things one day at a time. all the best to you too.
 
this week will be super hectic for me so i'm not sure how many times i'll be able to make it to the gym, will keep eating clean and make up for it exercise wise next week:

WEEK 13 OF EXERCISE DAILY WEIGH IN

==================================
HIGHEST WEIGHT: 159.1kgs (350.7pounds)
CURRENT WEIGHT: 143.5kgs (316.4pounds)
===================================

Saturday: 16/05/09 - 146.5kgs (322.9pounds) : (second rest day and had a treat meal)
Sunday: 17/05/09 - 147.9kgs (326.1pounds) : (3pounds increase from yesterdays treat: 60min treadmill, 45min combat, weights)
Monday: 18/05/09 - 147.3kgs (324.7pounds) : (10mins elliptical, 50mins treadmill, 45min combat)
Tuesday: 19/05/09 - 146.8kgs (323.6pounds) : (30mins elliptical, 30mins treadmill, 45min aerobics)
Wednesday: 20/05/09 - 146.1kgs (322.1pounds) : (40mins elliptical, 20mins treadmill, 45min combat)
Thursday: 21/05/09 - 145.8kgs(321.4pounds) : (rest day)
Friday: 22/05/09 - 145.5kgs (320.8pounds) : (second rest day)
Saturday: 23/05/09 - 145.5kgs (320.8pounds) : (10min treadmill, 60min elliptical, 45min weights)
Sunday: 24/05/09 - 144.5kgs (318.6pounds) : (10min treadmill, 60min elliptical)
Monday: 25/05/09 - 143.8kgs (317pounds) : (can't make it to gym today: correction, managed to make it and did 10min treadmill, 60min elliptical)
Tuesday: 26/05/09 - 143.5kgs (316.4pounds) : (can't make it to gym today)
 
Wow, you are working out girl!!! That is fantastic and your weight is coming off so nicely, reminds me, I should work out too!!
Have a great week, Camy
 
thanks camy! it's hard but everyday i keep going...unfortunately this week i'm super busy so don't know how much exercise i can get in but will continue as usual from next week. all the best hun, hope things are going well with you too xoxo
Camy said:
Wow, you are working out girl!!! That is fantastic and your weight is coming off so nicely, reminds me, I should work out too!!
Have a great week, Camy
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cherrygarcia said:
wow, so today i got hit on/ someone actually made a pass at me! i can't remember the last time a guy so much as looked at me leave alone talked to me! (cruel cruel world!)

so i was taking the bus to the gym, usually if i'm even a second late even if the bus driver see me they just speed off, but today was one of those good days when the driver spotted me waving like crazy and gave me time to get to the bus stop and hop on it...i didn't think anything of it but thanked him and was really grateful. there was like 5 of us only in the bus and people kept leaving so when i got out at my stop i was the only one left. i always have my ipod on because i know no one ever takes notice of my existence and never get hi's or smile's from strangers. anyway, so i'm the last to get out of the bus and start walking a few steps then notice the bus had stopped and i turned and saw the bus driver looking at me and holding a blank bus ticket in his hand. so i was like OMG i must have dropped my ticket in the bus so went back to pick it then he pointed at the ticket and he'd written something on it....he'd written 'WOULD U ?' so i was all confused and asked him what? and he pointed at the ticket again so i was like me? 'what do you mean?' would i what? so he says he's seen me on the bus loads of times and thinks i'm really attractive and would like to take me out on a date. i was thinking what? my jaw must have dropped because he was like 'oh do you have a boyfriend?' and i was like YES (i've never had one in my life how sad) and he asked if he could take me out sometime (i've never been able to say no so just said i'll think about it and smiled) then he asked me for my number and i was like 'i'll think about it'. and tried to wrap things up by telling him to have a nice afternoon and continued on walking to the gym...i had the biggest grin on my face and it just wouldn't go away! i couldn't believe that someone somewhere in the world who is of the opposite sex thinks that i'm attractive and would like to go out with me! of course i'm chancing on the fact that it'll be a long time before i see him again and have a story prepared for then....i think for now i just need to work on ME and loving ME. and that's the only way others can love me too. when the world ignores you for so long you start to believe that you're unworthy, i think if brad pitt came up to me and asked if he could take me out i'd be like 'i have a boyfriend'...why? not because i wouldn't want to go out with him but because i'd feel like i'm not worthy! which is just soooo wrong. this weight loss journey is so much more than just being physical, its very emotional for me as well because i'm learning to love myself which is something i've never done in my life.

so thats the story for today...when your female 5feet and 300+pounds, believe me NO ONE looks your way, you don't exist to the world, again i say it's a cruel cruel world that we live in. all the girls i went to school/uni with are all married, having babies or engaged but i'm still single old me. when i tell you that it's been more than 2years since anyones made a pass at me or so much as glanced at me i'm not lying....i got so used to the loneliness i can't even feel it anymore. i'm 28yrs old, i've never had a boyfriend, i can say i had a semi-boyfriend in my last year of primary school, i was 14 then, what a joke. i don't know what it's like to be in love or be in a relationship. this is why i'm doing what i'm doing now...to get my life back because i just haven't been living.

everyday i'm getting to know ME and getting to love ME a little bit more and this is what drives me everyday to keep going on, i don't want to be sad and unhappy anymore, i want to live life and love life....and i wish the same for everyone else on this journey as well. all the best xoxo
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Oh wow Cherry! I have tears in my eyes from reading your story. I can definitely relate to what you're saying. I totally understand where you're coming from.

This process is definitely about finding out who you are, loving yourself and changing from the inside out.

:)

You're doing so well with your weight loss as well. Keep rockin' it. :)
 
thanks dreamingblue! everyday i'm so glad i met all of you on the forum because i'm able to keep going on knowing that i'm not alone in this journey. some of the things i write here i've never told a soul in real life, and just letting it out is really therapeutic for me. in the past i held all my unhappiness inside and was so damn depressed about it.

at the beginning of my journey i finally confided in my family about alot of the stuff i was going through, and they were shocked i'd been going through it alone (because i never told them about how much my weight affected me) and ever since then they've backed me up 100% and been really supportive and i love them so much for that...that's how my journey began, just getting rid of all the emotions i'd been holding in for so long and it felt so good. and for once in my life i knew i was ready to start on this weight loss journey and that's how it began and what drives me everyday.

every now and then i'll write stuff on here that i'd never tell anyone in real life (like my rock bottom point or my food confessions etc), i write it just so that i can let it out of my system and out into the world and not have to hold it in...kinda like my own therapy i guess :)

of course i still have a heck of a long way to go...but these days i think i can actually see me getting to the finish line, it's far away yes, but this time round i believe i can make it and as always i wish the same for everyone on this journey as well. xoxo



dreamingblue said:
Oh wow Cherry! I have tears in my eyes from reading your story. I can definitely relate to what you're saying. I totally understand where you're coming from.

This process is definitely about finding out who you are, loving yourself and changing from the inside out.

:)

You're doing so well with your weight loss as well. Keep rockin' it. :)
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Cherry,

I have no doubt that you will make it to your goal, that we all will make it to our goals, if we keep doing what we're doing.

That's what these journals are all about, just letting it out. Emotions and having weight problems seem to go hand in hand. That's why a lot of people get therapists or need to vent their stuggles in some sort of way. This forum is an amazing help.

Thanks Cherry for being so inspirational to me. I love reading your journal and your progress. :)
 
I'm glad I found your diary as you always put such kind comments in mine. You keep up the great work...you're getting there! I was just writing in my journal of my goals (I have a Word document in my computer that serves as a diary/journal and I write in it each day), and the goals I have right now seem so far out of reach, but yet I know I can get there. We're on the same trip...let's make we have fun while doing it! :auto:
 
hey ab4ka,
thanks for stopping by! and it's true, we have a long way to go but we'll definitely get there, and i agree we totally should have fun while doing it!
ab4ka said:
I'm glad I found your diary as you always put such kind comments in mine. You keep up the great work...you're getting there! I was just writing in my journal of my goals (I have a Word document in my computer that serves as a diary/journal and I write in it each day), and the goals I have right now seem so far out of reach, but yet I know I can get there. We're on the same trip...let's make we have fun while doing it! :auto:
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Hey Cherry!

I loved reading about your bus experiance.. I totally get where your coming from, I would have told him something like that too.

I know that i have stopped loving myself. I have lost all confidnce..
I have been asked out a few times.. And when a guy asks me out I just stand there and say, "are you serious?" (Which might be offensive to the guy, even tho i dont mean it in the sarcastic," why would i ever go out with you" kinda way) When they say yes im serious i just say.. "Are you serious? "

Im sacred that its just a cruel joke the guy and his friends are playing on me to embarass me (yes, 16-18 year old guys are still THAT imature).. So after repeating the "Are you serious" process like 20 times, i say yes or no, wearily and walk away.. Feeling like crap.. I dunno, ive lost faith and trust in people and in myself.. Yea, So thats my story! Haha

Great job on your weight loss!

Good luck for future Weight loss!

Happy excersizing!
 
thanks dreamingblue! and hope you get better soon xoxo
dreamingblue said:
Cherry,

I have no doubt that you will make it to your goal, that we all will make it to our goals, if we keep doing what we're doing.

That's what these journals are all about, just letting it out. Emotions and having weight problems seem to go hand in hand. That's why a lot of people get therapists or need to vent their stuggles in some sort of way. This forum is an amazing help.

Thanks Cherry for being so inspirational to me. I love reading your journal and your progress. :)
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thanks babymomma for stopping by! i agree with you, i think we really need to start believing more in ourselves and actually believing that guys can like us...because at the back of my head i'm always like 'does he really mean it?' i don't know...i wish guy/girl issues didn't have to be so complex! wish you all the best in your journey too xoxo
babymomma said:
Hey Cherry!

I loved reading about your bus experiance.. I totally get where your coming from, I would have told him something like that too.

I know that i have stopped loving myself. I have lost all confidnce..
I have been asked out a few times.. And when a guy asks me out I just stand there and say, "are you serious?" (Which might be offensive to the guy, even tho i dont mean it in the sarcastic," why would i ever go out with you" kinda way) When they say yes im serious i just say.. "Are you serious? "

Im sacred that its just a cruel joke the guy and his friends are playing on me to embarass me (yes, 16-18 year old guys are still THAT imature).. So after repeating the "Are you serious" process like 20 times, i say yes or no, wearily and walk away.. Feeling like crap.. I dunno, ive lost faith and trust in people and in myself.. Yea, So thats my story! Haha

Great job on your weight loss!

Good luck for future Weight loss!

Happy excersizing!
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WEEK 13 OF EXERCISE DAILY WEIGH IN

==================================
HIGHEST WEIGHT: 159.1kgs (350.7pounds)
CURRENT WEIGHT: 143.5kgs (316.4pounds)
===================================

Saturday: 16/05/09 - 146.5kgs (322.9pounds) : (second rest day and had a treat meal)
Sunday: 17/05/09 - 147.9kgs (326.1pounds) : (3pounds increase from yesterdays treat: 60min treadmill, 45min combat, weights)
Monday: 18/05/09 - 147.3kgs (324.7pounds) : (10mins elliptical, 50mins treadmill, 45min combat)
Tuesday: 19/05/09 - 146.8kgs (323.6pounds) : (30mins elliptical, 30mins treadmill, 45min aerobics)
Wednesday: 20/05/09 - 146.1kgs (322.1pounds) : (40mins elliptical, 20mins treadmill, 45min combat)
Thursday: 21/05/09 - 145.8kgs(321.4pounds) : (rest day)
Friday: 22/05/09 - 145.5kgs (320.8pounds) : (second rest day)
Saturday: 23/05/09 - 145.5kgs (320.8pounds) : (10min treadmill, 60min elliptical, 45min weights)
Sunday: 24/05/09 - 144.5kgs (318.6pounds) : (10min treadmill, 60min elliptical)
Monday: 25/05/09 - 143.8kgs (317pounds) : (can't make it to gym today: correction, managed to make it and did 10min treadmill, 60min elliptical)
Tuesday: 26/05/09 - 143.5kgs (316.4pounds) : (too busy, no gym)
Wednesday: 27/05/09 - 143.5kgs (316.4pounds) : (too busy, no gym)
Thursday: 28/05/09 - 143.9kgs (317.2pounds) : (10min treadmill, 60min elliptical, 45min weights)
 
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HI Cherry,

Just found your diary and am loving it! You are so open and honest and inspiring. You deserve all the weight loss you get as you are working so hard at it. Im certain you will reach your goals in no time. Your very motivating for my own journey!!!
 
hey kakutzi! thanks for stopping by here, i'm so used to seeing you at the daily weigh in...lol! thanks for the kind words, i'll need to pass by your diary if you have one? and congrats on reaching the 150's, i was so happy for you!:hurray:
kakutzi said:
HI Cherry,

Just found your diary and am loving it! You are so open and honest and inspiring. You deserve all the weight loss you get as you are working so hard at it. Im certain you will reach your goals in no time. Your very motivating for my own journey!!!
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cherrygarcia said:
WEEK 13 OF EXERCISE DAILY WEIGH IN

==================================
HIGHEST WEIGHT: 159.1kgs (350.7pounds)
CURRENT WEIGHT: 143.5kgs (316.4pounds)
===================================

Saturday: 16/05/09 - 146.5kgs (322.9pounds) : (second rest day and had a treat meal)
Sunday: 17/05/09 - 147.9kgs (326.1pounds) : (3pounds increase from yesterdays treat: 60min treadmill, 45min combat, weights)
Monday: 18/05/09 - 147.3kgs (324.7pounds) : (10mins elliptical, 50mins treadmill, 45min combat)
Tuesday: 19/05/09 - 146.8kgs (323.6pounds) : (30mins elliptical, 30mins treadmill, 45min aerobics)
Wednesday: 20/05/09 - 146.1kgs (322.1pounds) : (40mins elliptical, 20mins treadmill, 45min combat)
Thursday: 21/05/09 - 145.8kgs(321.4pounds) : (rest day)
Friday: 22/05/09 - 145.5kgs (320.8pounds) : (second rest day)
Saturday: 23/05/09 - 145.5kgs (320.8pounds) : (10min treadmill, 60min elliptical, 45min weights)
Sunday: 24/05/09 - 144.5kgs (318.6pounds) : (10min treadmill, 60min elliptical)
Monday: 25/05/09 - 143.8kgs (317pounds) : (can't make it to gym today: correction, managed to make it and did 10min treadmill, 60min elliptical)
Tuesday: 26/05/09 - 143.5kgs (316.4pounds) : (too busy, no gym)
Wednesday: 27/05/09 - 143.5kgs (316.4pounds) : (too busy, no gym)
Thursday: 28/05/09 - 143.9kgs (317.2pounds) : (10min treadmill, 60min elliptical, 45min weights)
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Woo-hoo! Look at those numbers drop!

You're really kicking ass, Sunshine!

You're amazing - I love to read your journal just to see exactly how much ass you kick and how you go to town with your workouts.
 
hehehe cord! thanks!:blush5: this week has been a bit hectic but i'll return to the usual next week...never in my life did i ever think i'd be so dedicated to exercise but one day at a time i get closer to my goal so will keep going. i hope your feeling better? will check in on you xoxo
Cord the Seeker said:
Woo-hoo! Look at those numbers drop!

You're really kicking ass, Sunshine!

You're amazing - I love to read your journal just to see exactly how much ass you kick and how you go to town with your workouts.
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I am back with my whole being to losing weight, yesterday I somehow remembered some people that bullied me and I have now a plan of action... I have 100 days pretty much to reach my goal (then I am graduating and meeting all the bitches again for the graduation ceremony). These will be the most kick ass 100 days. So I invite you to join me on 100 days of extra strong weight loss orientation!

Woohoo! Let's go! Camy
 
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