Cate's Diary

Thank you my lovely forum friends :grouphug:
G's siblings & spouses are coming for lunch today & we have been getting the house clean & tidy. D & the kids are coming tonight for dinner.
For lunch, we are having roast lamb (our own) with lots of veggies, incl. cauli/brocc au gratin, carrots, potatoes & a pak choy/asparagus combo. All the veg are steamed. For dessert a GF lemon meringue cheesecake. G is making a little veg frittata thingy for our BIL who is vegetarian.
Dinner will be grilled Tasmanian salmon with salad & veg, followed by more lemon meringue cheesecake.
I have to get moving as I still have to mop, set the table (with our hand embroidered tablecloth & napkins we bought in Vietnam), serviette rings etc.
 
I can't put photos on from my phone unfortunately as they're too big! I just took one of the set dining table. I can't be bothered messing around re-sizing photos & wish I could just add them as they are.
We're ready for our visitors!
 
Your menu sounds amazing . It's a lot of entertaining in one day though . I have a big gang coming ion Sunday and I have nothing prepared as yet . Although I have done some shopping . Cleaning will be tomorrow and prep Sunday morn .

Hope you enjoyed the catching up .
 
Hmm. Yes, maybe lunch & dinner in one day is a bit much. The lunch guests are gone & we have done the dishes & D & the kids are arriving in about 45 mins. We had time to sit & drink a pot of tea just then though. I love G's sisters & brother, but they can be quite exhausting.
His brother gets very snappy with his wife & it can get quite tense & uncomfortable.
Dinner tonight will be easier. We're having veggies with the fish as there's still enough left.
The lemon meringue cheesecake is sensational!
 
Glad it went well!! That's impressive you can do back to back guests like that! And nice you got in a pot of tea in between. :)
 
Thanks, Marsia. I don't think we'll do B2B guests again though, especially on one of our birthdays. The day would have been much nicer if the 2 of us had been out to lunch together & then had D & the kids for dinner. We had a lovely time with them last night & played a couple of games of snooker.
G & I both had another terrible night's sleep. We had discussed R during lunch (they were here for 4 hours) & we both stressed out again. If I thought therapy would help us we would go. Us having therapy won't change him having bipolar. I can't see much changing for the better unless he gets on medication & finds the right balance. It's like watching a runaway train.
Yesterday C, R's ex GF ( :() sent me a message, wishing G a happy birthday. We discussed her during lunch and I felt really sad about them splitting up. I still don't understand. I tried explaining to the others what I think happened. I think that she asked him where he saw their relationship a couple of years down the track & he answered, honestly, as he always does, that he could never say where or how he would be in a few weeks, let alone a few years. He is absolutely honest. I am quite sure that they loved one another & I thought they were really good for one another & I find this really such a shame.

G is playing golf today & again tomorrow so I am spending today at home. I am going to attack a few cupboards & do some serious de-cluttering. We have so many glasses that we never use that are filling up our cupboards. Today is going to be a very productive one. I am also fasting.
 
Hi Cate, yeah, I guess therapy would only help if R acknowledged how much trouble he could get himself in, and knew that he needed help with monitoring moods so people could tell him if he was getting too manic or too depressed to make good decisions. If he doesn't have the self awareness or experience to know how bad things can get, it seems like you have to let him get himself into trouble and acknowledge that help is a good thing. Sorry you have to watch him learn hard life lessons like that. It's really not fair. If only we could protect them with our love.

Would his girlfriend be ok with more of the non-committal relationship? If not, maybe she just needs more structure than R can provide in that regard. I can see someone needing more predictability having a hard time with someone who likes to wing their life.

I hope to de-clutter the house a lot this winter, too. I hate cleaning, and the less there is to clean, the happier I will be. This does not include books though. It is worth it to me to clean my big book collection, which I love so much!
 
Hi, Marsia. Thanks for your support. I really do appreciate my forum friends. I was just checking out a mental health carers forum but didn't much like it. This diary helps me as much as anything. I was really talking about therapy for us to help us find ways to cope with his illness. Our son is quite aware of the changes in his moods but feels he has the ability to manage them without medication.
His GF is definitely now an ex. I am mourning that fact I think & I can't see it changing.
It is time I got my backside out of my chair & throw myself into doing something I can control. Look out house- here I come!
I'll be back later, xoxo
 
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I wonder if you could find a forum or irl support group for families of children with bipolar disorder? Have a good time tackling the house!! I love working off frustration by cleaning!
 
Hope cleaning goes well.

I think R is probably very smart and he will hopefully find his niche soon. Be kind to him, he loves you.
 
Hi, Marsia. I did find such a forum & registered, but haven't looked into it properly yet. I decided I needed diversional therapy more & have spent 5 hours cleaning out my glasses cupboard in the kitchen, plus the bar & crystal cabinet in the snooker room. I washed about 100 glasses & packed lots of them away. I have lots of old crystal glasses that seem to be mostly in 2's, so I might pack them up too. There was just no point leaving them out on display when we don't use them.
Hi, Em. I am nothing but kind to R. Love is not in doubt for either of us. Bipolar is a horrible mental illness. Until R becomes stable we will all ride this rollercoaster. It is absolutely exhausting.
I'm feeling much better after my cleaning therapy. Tomorrow I may do something totally different. I haven't decided yet what that might be.
 
cate said:
If I thought therapy would help us we would go. Us having therapy won't change him having bipolar.
Click to expand...
There´s never anything you can do to change other people - you can only change how you react. And for that therapy can be helpful.

Well done on the cleaning! There must be some amazing diy project with beautiful old glasses that have lost most of their siblings, right?
 
LaMa- I know that you are right but I really am too emotionally exhausted to put myself through therapy at the moment.
The old glasses are lovely & I am loathe to give them away, so will most probably put them back in the crystal cabinet. We have SO much stuff!
I'll attack my plastics/ container cupboards & drawers next. There's no emotional attachment there :)
 
This morning I feel physically exhausted as well as mentally. I'll ease into my day slowly. I have a big box of glasses to file away under the snooker table & I think Imay keep the crystal glasses as a lot of them are really pretty. I'll start another section of things I might sell. We have a whisky bottle collection (most are unopened & some still in their original boxes) that we may sell. Some of them will be quite valuable I think. We also have lots of china dishes that we don't particularly like. I just turned one over & it's from a well-known English pottery & is a centenary dish 1851-1951. It's in good nick. Now I'll have to do some research on how to sell them. eBay seems expensive & complicated. I might have another go at it. This could become my new hobby- de-cluttering & making some money. I usually just give stuff away, but I know a lot of it is quite valuable.
I think I'll come up with a cupboard to put things in that we may sell, & also tidy up my saved packaging cupboard.
First I had better take the whisky bottles out of the crystal cabinet & put the glasses back. It will take me about an hour just to rearrange it.
*sigh*
At least it is keeping me preoccupied & distracted. :)
 
My distraction has been very therapeutic. I now have 2 full shelves in a cupboard in the hallway, filled with things to try to sell. I have tidied up my kitchen dresser & the bar, including the cupboard under the bar sink & the crystal cabinet. It all looks marvellous!
I thought I should stop for a break for a nice, healthy lunch.
 
I personally don't have the patience to deal with internet buyers but then I don't own anything valuable enough to make it worth it. Best of luck and I hope you enjoy it!
 
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