Cate's Diary

Cate I did a lot of that during the summer . I ventured into the world of online selling but really didn't do to well . I ended up taking lots to the recycling.

After decluttering my parents home and getting rid of a lot of their China and glasses , keeping lots for myself and now gone through the decluttering of it all again together with our own stuff I really like the minimalist feel .
The one thing I'm very conscious off is to not leave loads of stuff for my children to have to clear .
 
Cate, it's nice to see you find some enjoyment in the de-cluttering. I think getting into a mode where you sell stuff online is a good idea. You can make a few bucks on the side while clearing out the excess. It's the two-birds-with-one-stone scenario, actually three because you also can have some fun doing it. Wins all around!
 
Hi, Petal. I may not do too well either, but I'll try. eBay may not be the answer as I find it so complicated trying to work out how to sell. It's very easy buying!
I'm not so concerned with leaving stuff for our kids to sort. It's more we have so much stuff & we have hung on to it for them, but we need to think a bit more about ourselves. I would rather have some money instead of having so much stuff in the house. It's mostly old whisky bottles, Toby jugs etc.
Hi, Jack. I actually love de-cluttering, but getting some money for it would be excellent. You can hardly see where I have been really, but I know how much cleaning I did, so that makes me feel good. Housework & in particular cupboard cleaning is not that visually rewarding. You only really notice if it's not done.
G & I are still losing sleep over R buying this block. I haven't gone into the details really. He bought it without seeing it. It has no actual access onto it & the legal access apparently, is from the top which is very, very, steep & I can't imagine putting a driveway there. There is only room for 2 cars to park just off the road at present, less if a driveway does manage to get put in. There is no water, no power, no toilet & no privacy from the neighbours.
The settlement is this Thursday (his birthday) & we are not even sure that he has had legal advice (title search etc). It could be one very expensive mistake. He is on a high at the moment & logic goes out the window. I so wish he would push through with BiPolar medication. I would love to see him living a more stable existence. I think his biggest fear is losing his creativity & excitement.
I'm waiting to get a call from him & we're going to ask him if he has seen a lawyer. I hope he doesn't get too upset with us. It is actually making us sick with worry.
 
I "chatted" to R on messenger (his phone is inoperable again) & he reassures me that he had the title checked by a surveyor & that he is going to be very careful about spending money on it straight away. He is just going to camp on it for now.
I have decided that I am going to see if I can get some counselling under my health plan. I need to find ways of learning to cope with R's illness & build some more emotional strength & resilience. I will make an ap't to see my Gp now to ask her.
I have been putting more songs on my itunes to put on my ipod. I think I have had enough of that for today, but it is good therapy.
 
The stigma surrounding mental health care can make it awfully hard for people to decide to start medication. Quite apart from the fact that our brains are complex and it's often not possible to get the meds exactly right.
 
R doesn't seem to care who knows he has BP, which is a good thing. Medication for anything, let alone the balance required to try to manage the conflicting ups & downs of Bipolar disorder is bloody daunting. I understand why he is so wary.
I have had a really good day. I have planted our 10 tomato seedlings, repotted 2 pots, 2 hanging baskets, redone my iPod & G & a younger friend helped the shearer shear our 13 sheep.
A very good day!
 
Sounds like an awesome day! I can see why you'd be concerned about your son - that property doesn't sound appealing. But, maybe it's affordable, and he wants to put sweat equity into it? It's a difficult situation, for sure.
 
Thanks, Jack. It was a good day & I had a good sleep again, so feeling much better. He loves the island that it's on & hopefully will enjoy his time on it. It should be re-salable if he changes his mind. The island is really taking off. I am going to try very hard to be positive about it.
It's G's golf day today & I'll do the bar for him & do some shopping in between.
My sister had a scan last week as she has had breast pain for quite some time & she got the all clear. I'll ring her when I sit by the river, which I do most Tuesdays for an hour or so.
 
Thanks, LaMa. I struggled through my day I'm afraid. I am so stressed at the moment & I must do something about this.
 
Maybe it would help to try a little deep breathing where you let the stress out on the out-breath and breathe deep into your stomach on the in-breath? Also maybe try paying attention to where you are holding the tension in your body and see if you can tense up those muscles and then really release them. It really helps me to do things where I am in my body when my mind starts doing stress loops. So stuff like all the cleaning and de-cluttering you are doing really calms me down, but I also need to figure out how to reign in the worry. I try to remember that what I am worrying about hasn't even happened, and generally life does not unfold anything like what I pictured. Maybe with the camping on the land, you can picture it as at least knowing where he is and knowing he has friends there to help him? I'm glad you are finding support! It's such a hard situation and it would be so good to get all that frustration off your chest!!
 
Thanks, Tru, Marsia & LaMa. I will go see someone soon, but just don't feel up to the inevitable tears when I talk to my GP, let alone talking to a stranger. I will probably have to wait a couple of months for an appointment, but this time I will still go, even if I feel better by then.
" I try to remember that what I am worrying about hasn't even happened, and generally life does not unfold anything like what I pictured. "
This is what I need to remind myself. I know this, but when I get in this anxious loop, it's very hard to get out of it.
It is worse when I am in bed. I have racing thoughts & I try to stop them by deep breathing but am not very successful.
We have been feeling that it will soon be time to make the decision about our little old dog. She is blind & deaf & has doggy dementia, & has lots of "accidents" but has also been a bit anxious lately, especially when we have visitors. She walks into things a lot & walks around & around in circles. We have had her since she was a little 6-week old pup & she is now over 17 years old. She doesn't have much quality of life.
OK. I just made an ap't to see my GP (long ap't) on the 4th Dec. That's a start.
I had better get going. We have just decided we will go to town to do some shopping we were going to do tomorrow for the golf tournament. I am not playing golf today as it rained all night
 
Glad you are going to try out therapy! I hope it goes really well and helps a lot!!!

Sorry to hear about your dog. That's so hard, but as you say, if the quality of life isn't there, there's a point where you are keeping them alive more for you than for them.

Hope you like your new hair cut!!
 
It is always hard to make that decision to end the life of a family member, What breed of dog is she ?
 
Thanks, Marsia, Petal & Tru. We had a good day today. I had my favourite short, razor haircut, bought 4 pairs of cotton pants & a cotton top( super sale), we went out for a light Chinese lunch & did the shopping for the golf tournament next week. The did us both lots of good.
Our little old dog is an Australian Silky terrier. She has always had a sweet nature. She is not in any pain at this stage & I think we are preparing ourselves to make the decision in the next few months.
Because we did our shopping today we can now stay home tomorrow :)
 
Aww sorry to read about your dog. :( We had to make that decision with our 15 year old dachshund this past spring. It's soooo hard, but I knew she had no quality of life anymore. She didn't want to eat and all she did was sleep. When she completely stopped eating, I knew it was time. Even though I knew it was the right thing to do, it still killed me to do it. So sorry. It's really hard.
 
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