Cate's Diary

Hmm, it's tricky dealing with negative people. The only thing you can control is how you react to it Cate. Try to shrug your shoulders and laugh it off a bit more.
 
cate said:
I can play on Vets days if I want & that may be an option for me. I don't mind being the only woman. I just really dislike drama.
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Or you could set up golf dates with only the nice, kind, funny, amazing women. Don´t deprive yourself of their company if you don´t have to!
 
Emilyrose said:
Hmm, it's tricky dealing with negative people. The only thing you can control is how you react to it Cate. Try to shrug your shoulders and laugh it off a bit more.
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Very true Em. You're right xo
LaMaria said:
Or you could set up golf dates with only the nice, kind, funny, amazing women. Don´t deprive yourself of their company if you don´t have to!
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& you're right too LaMa.
Absence has made my heart grow a little fonder. A couple of days away helps. I'm just not going to let myself get sucked into the negativity.
Off to Hobart today which will be lovely.
 
In Hobart & have that holiday feeling back again. G & I talked all the drive down & we both are considering joining a different golf club if things don't drastically change. We both feel fine about that.
Had a lovely Thai meal last night & a very healthy GF veg breakfast this morning at a little very buzzy cafe opposite the venue. I think I'll have lunch there later with R. There were so many choices, great coffee & very healthy.
I am really loving clean eating again.
 
:):):) Cateeeee

love your profile pic, you look FABULOUS my dear!!! I hope all is well with you and your family...it's been sooo long.

Sending you a big hug, and I hope to catch up on what everyone has been up to very soon.

Xoxo
 
Popping by since you stopped in on my diary! Bit daunting reading your whole diary so I won't, though 460 pages is pretty damn impressive!!
 
cate said:
In Hobart & have that holiday feeling back again. G & I talked all the drive down & we both are considering joining a different golf club if things don't drastically change. We both feel fine about that.
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Sounds like a plan. It´s always good to be on the same page on these things.
cate said:
Had a lovely Thai meal last night & a very healthy GF veg breakfast this morning at a little very buzzy cafe opposite the venue. I think I'll have lunch there later with R. There were so many choices, great coffee & very healthy.
I am really loving clean eating again.
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I wish that were the norm, not the exception! The "healthy" restaurants around here tend to have mostly raw stuff, often served straight from the fridge so you don´t taste a thing.
 
CaliGirl said:
:):):) Cateeeee
love your profile pic, you look FABULOUS my dear!!! I hope all is well with you and your family...it's been sooo long.
Sending you a big hug, and I hope to catch up on what everyone has been up to very soon.
Xoxo
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Hi sweetie & thank you :) That hug was warmly received xoxo
Rebel lee said:
Hey lady just thought I'd pop in for a visit.
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Hey, Rebel :)
LaMaria said:
Sounds like a plan. It´s always good to be on the same page on these things.
I wish that were the norm, not the exception! The "healthy" restaurants around here tend to have mostly raw stuff, often served straight from the fridge so you don´t taste a thing.
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Hi, hon. Thanks for your messages last night. I really do appreciate your support. You are very intuitive & kind & I do count you as a friend.

I see the forum as a caring, loving & supportive, safe place. At the moment I'm struggling a little to stay on top of a personal situation. Our younger son, R, as some of you know, suffers from Bi-polar & has been down continuously for at least 6 months. I do my best to not go under as that helps no-one, especially myself. We have seen him the last 2 weekends so now I know just how low he is. He is barely functioning. He knows he needs to see someone & get help. I can't do it for him. He has seen 2 different psych's once & not continued with either. A GP prescribed him a strong anti-psychotic last year that just about knocked him for 6 & all he could do was sleep. (He only took that for a week). Short of staying with him & taking him to someone or bringing him home & taking him to someone I feel at a loss.
He knows how much we love him & I think that keeps him going.
We talked about it all again yesterday & he & I had a good cry. I begged him to see someone. He knows he has to. I know how hard that is. It breaks my heart to see him like this. He's 35, gorgeous & absolutely, miserably sad & barely functioning. He manages to get himself off to work4 days a week but goes straight home & stays home with his dog.
LaMa has suggested I talk to someone about it & I will think about that. I am trying not to let this consume me as it won't help him anyway. I don't feel like talking about it to the people here that know us all. Most people seem to think he should just snap out of it. There is still so little understanding of mental illness. If I see someone I will have a good cry, but at the end of the day, it still won't get him to see someone. He really needs some chemical intervention I think. The balance is so tricky with bipolar! If he does see someone & gets medication then who's there to see how he functions on it & monitors it?
He keeps saying he will go see someone.
His house is deteriorating rapidly as well & he does not want to stay there. I think he needs to live somewhere lighter & brighter. There is so much to do to get it the stage where he could sell it. It's all so overwhelming! We could help there & his brother & friends would pitch in if we asked them.
I have exhausted myself just typing all this. I'll leave it at that for now I think. I won't read back or I'll delete it! Don't be afraid to say anything.
Love to all xoxo Cate
 
I'm not bipolar but I do have periods where I just about manage to go to work but otherwise let the world crash around me and don't have the oomph to see anyone or do anything, including normal, tiny everyday stuff I used to do automatically. And I'll know I need help but I'll be too knocked out - and ashamed - to actually pick up the phone and arrange it. If my friend O hadn't "threatened" to physically drag me out of the house and into the therapy center I would not have gone. And if my friends hadn't checked on me every time I had an appointment I'd have found reasons not to go every single time. Not sure if it's any help but it's a data point...
 
I'm just not sure what can help me, if anything, at the moment. I appreciate your offer, thanks Rebel. I do understand what he's going through & short of staying with him & physically taking him myself I just don't know what else to do. I think I know that. I'm trying to avoid him reaching crisis point. My brother committed suicide aged 25.
I sent him this message today-
"Hi sweetie
You will get better. Don't ever give up hope. Dad & I love you very much xoxo"
To which he replied-
"Hey mum. Yeah I know I will. I'm going to find someone to talk to soon. I love you both so much. I can't give up on me because I know you never would."
He knows how much he is loved & he knows how aware I am of the stage he is at. I won't let this continue & will drop everything to get him through this.
 
I can remember when i first went to the doctor to have mine checked out. I was so against it. I had seen people with bipolar on tv and they were really out there. Actors probably kicking up the crazy for the ratings. Going to a mental hospital was out of the question because i had seen what those places were like. Then i had my first manic episode and the ambulance took me to the hospital and they gave me a shot to calm me down. Of course the shot was basically gorilla prozac because when i woke up i was in a very different kind of hospital. I looked out of my room into the main lobby expecting to see a scene from one flew over the cookoos nest. It was nothing of the kind. Just normal every day people talking playing cards coloring reading. It wasn't the horrid place i was expecting. Yes there were locked doors but my room and the lobby was open to me so it wasnt really that bad. Cameras were everywhere except the restrooms but it really wasnt that bad.
The doctor came to my room and the first thing he told me was that he had no idea what i was going through or how i was feeling. Every thing he know about bipolar just came out of a book. He knows about symptoms and medications and basically how im probably feeling. He explained the meds and what they do and how the antipsychotics would zombie me out till my body got use to them. I was there for the longest 2 weeks of my life. It wasnt that anything was bad i just really wanted to go home.
When i did leave it was like night and day compared to before. The meds didnt really fix the problem but it was a good strong crutch.
Just keep being there for your son because most friends and family just make it worse. Im not speaking about your situation but mine. Every time i heard its not that bad or why dont you take up a new hobby or dont worry it'll pass. I guess the one i hated most was just suck it up.
Bipolar depression is like.... If you were in a building and feeling fine was the roof and depression was on the 10th floor bipolar depression would b the basement. I guess thats why most people simply dont understand it. They more than likely have never felt that low and probably never will. Its a strange experience watching the world go by and not b a part of it. I guess its like watching it on a video and cant really react to what you see.
I know this has been really long but hopefully you can use some of this to help your son understand that the psychiatrist and and out-patient program are nowhere as bad a thing as hes probably imagining.
Talk to you soon
Me <3
 
Hello my lovely.
I just popped in to say hi and read your post about your boy. hugs. I don't know what else to say so i'm just gonna send you a great big squishy hug. xoxo
 
Thank you Rebel. That's a really good explanation. I have long thought that I am on the spectrum & I do understand your analogy. I don't think I quite got to the basement.
Do you think actually being in a hospital would be an advantage? I feel that bringing him home might help get him through the initial adjustments. I really don't know. I feel a crisis may just decide for us & I want to avert that. It's scary.
Thank you once again Rebel xo

Hi Hunibuns. Thanks for the squishy hug. They are very special xoxo
 
cate said:
Do you think actually being in a hospital would be an advantage?
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Yea i really do. If he goes to a doctor they will give him a prescription for more than likely lithium. It's one of the first things they tend to try. And see him in a few weeks to see how its going. On the inpatient setting they can adjust the dosage or put him on something totally different if they need to. There are probably 15 different mainstream bipolar meds so they may need to tweak them just for his situation. He will talk to a psychiatrist probably 3 times a week or daily if he feels the need. Its a more hands on immediate care sitiation.
Now they may put him on a antipsychotic drug if they feel it will help. I really hate that name i wish they would just rename them. Major tranquilizers or something since thats what they are. Antipsychotic seem to make the person think something is seriously broken inside them so i just never liked the name. Again with those there is a long list of ones they can try. They prob gave him a newer or atypical one. I do better on the older typical meds. No him feeling zombie like well thats what they do; aleasy at first. Im on haldol now and at first i was a zombie. That makes sense since that is normally what they give to someone in a hospital who has just lost it. So if they give him haldol or something similar to thorazine he can expect that zombie like effect. Being bipolar or brains tend to move faster or is more active than the average person so drugs like that really puts the brakes on our thought process. You feel as if your thinking in slow motion. Its normal but feels strange to us. It takes awhile to get use to.
If yall check him into a hospital they wont force meds on him. Hes there voluntarily so yall will have complete control on what he will b taking.
It will help if you know something about the meds he may b given. So maybe go to something like wiki and search atypical antipsy drugs, typical antipsy drugs, common bipolar drugs.
Here those hospitals are called hmmr or something like that. May be a little different where you live but its just a state or county mental health program.
 
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