Cate's Diary

I think I would like to move my diary over to the main section. It gets lonely over here! Also I would probably confuse new Cohenites as I am no longer on the weight-loss Cohen's program. Trying to find out how to actually ask to do so, is not easy any more with the new format, other than emailing, which seems silly. Perhaps I flag this post? I'll try. xo Cate
 
Thank you! That was very quick!

It actually is quite freeing to think that I am away from the Cohen's section as I will no longer feel a bit like a fraud. I don't follow the original Cohen's program & I'm doing my own thing these days, eating a balanced, healthy low-fat, low-carb diet(gluten-free) & trying to increase my exercise & get fitter. My weight creeps up when I get slack & it is time to ramp up & cut down the "extras". My social life has increased recently due to our YS (younger son) moving back to our nearest town & taking over a pub nearby, with his best mate. I'm going there after Tai Chi today with my TC friends & then we're going there again tonight for my LH's (lovely husband) 8-ball (pool.)

Life is good and I feel that I am getting my life back on an even keel after a few months of upheaval. I have moved my elderly Mum interstate & into a nearby nursing home after packing up her house & her in 4 days. I had a lot of stress with my older brother, wanting to have her put away whether she liked it or not into a home that he had put her in for respite. Our OS (older son) & his wife split up & our YS had a nasty injury that had him off his feet for almost 3 months. All this happened within 2 days 3 months ago. All's settled now. Our YS is in the business nearby, our OS & his ex-wife are getting on amicably, their kids are coping well & are happy & my Mum is really happy in the home/hostel that i got her into. I see them all often.

Time to re-commit-

It's now time for me to concentrate on getting myself as healthy and as fit as I can, doing things that I like. I love walking so will gradually build my times up. I'm going to use runkeeper on my phone. I tried it out the other day & loved it. I'm 58 & have asthma but I am aiming for 60 minutes exercise every day. I want to lose 5kg by Christmas.

It's time for me to get on the move. I love my Tai Chi. It makes me feel really relaxed & happy & I love my Tai Chi friends.

Much love to all, xo Cate.
 
AHi Cate!
YAY for being able to move your diary to the main section so easily! Hopefully you won't feel so lonely over here.
I think your goals for the moment are fantastic. :) And you're definitely sounding totally recommitted!

xx
 
Hi sweets. I am feeling committed again thank goodness! I had a chicken salad after Tai Chi yesterday & a tuna salad last night & resisted all supper last night at 8-ball. About 8 small home-made pizzas came out, at intervals, along with some party pies. As everything had gluten I found it easier to resist, although at one stage I was sorely tempted to eat the top off a piece, but didn't. Our OS was there when we got there with one of his female friends. I have to admit to feeling a little bit anti. I think she has had a crush on him for a long time & a friend of his thinks she had a role in their break-up. I hope I wasn't obvious. I felt a little bad afterward as I know I wasn't overly friendly. I want him to be happy so will have to get used to seeing him with women again. He has always had lots of female friends & I do think that's a good thing.

I had a really bad experience yesterday which put me in an agitated mood last night. I had called in to see Mum on my way to Tai Chi & she seemed really confused & not quite with it. In the afternoon she rang me in a panic & was saying she needed a taxi but couldn't say why. Frantically trying to think why she said "To get home." "Mum, where are you?" "You know!" "No, Mum.Are you in K......, in your room?" "Yes!" "Where do you want to go Mum?" "I don't know." So I calmed her down & told her I would be in today, with our OGS (older grand-son) to visit on our way to Taekwondo & she seemed ok.

I rang the home & spoke to a nurse who really upset me by saying if she doesn't behave herself she'll be locked away in the secure ward. She said she'd do a blood test & that they had been well away that Mum had been really confused lately & were watching her closely. She made it sound like Mum was on the verge of being shut away & that she had been naughty. I also sensed that she didn't like her much. She was quite abrupt & on the defensive I thought.

I got off the phone & was anxious & agitated. I rang my sister & spoke to her about it all & I decided to ring the home back. A woman I know answered & I told her what the nurse had said & she was shocked & asked me if I wanted to speak to her again so I decided I would as I was so upset. I let her know how the conversation with her had really upset me & she said she had been joking & that she has a really weird sense of humour. I said having a sense of humour is fine but that the person she was joking about is my mother, not just someone unknown. At first she got her back up with me but when she realised that I was really upset she softened & we ended up having a good conversation. By the end of it I was crying. *sigh* I hate that! She said she thought Mum may have a urinary tract infection, which often results in confusion in the elderly. She also said that Mum gives her heaps of cheek & seems really happy now, after being very flat when she first moved in. It was a reassuring call & I'm glad I didn't keep stewing over it. Next time I have any queries I'm going in, rather than calling. I rang my sister quickly to tell her after the call. It's back to the drawing board with the confusion though. The nurse rang me back last night to say she didn't have an infection. They are getting the doctor to see her today. It was considerate of her to call & let me know.

I'm back to taking a strong multi B today to see if It will help with the stress that seems to be a part of my life these days.

I'm not going anywhere during the day today (hopefully) & will chill out & also go for a walk. :D

Cheers, Cate
 
Had a really good healthy & active day yesterday. My LH went off to work yesterday & I spent the day at home. Our DIL sent me a msg to say our GS was staying with her last night, instead of us so I didn't have to take him to Taekwondo. I decided to go for a walk after lunch (Pho Bo) & headed off munching on a big apple. Mid afternoon is my danger time for snacking. I started off just thinking I would walk to the letter-box & back but walked past it & up to the top of the hill. Then I saw a neighbour who is not talking to me(apparently!) since I laughed at him as he was leaving a wake 6 months ago as he had told me that he was leaving because I was boring him & I told him that was a change. I have always got on really well with him & never meant to offend him. I certainly wasn't offended. I pulled up in my car a couple of weeks ago to speak with him & he turned his back to me & didn't answer. I asked "Are you officially not speaking to me then?" & he turned & faced me & said "No" & walked off. I was shocked I must admit & said "Fine, that's ok" but was stunned.

When I saw him yesterday I decided not to turn around & go back because I would hate him to think it was because I saw him on the road. I walked towards him & he turned away & walked around in a little circle. Instead of feeling upset I thought it was very childish. I had written him a letter & have been debating whether to drop it in his letter-box or not. I'm still not sure. My LH says it's way too generous & he doesn't deserve it but I told him I feel like being generous. My sister says to be careful he doesn't take it the other way & develop a crush but the thought had crossed my mind before that he already had a slight one so I want to be careful. I'll re-think it.

I walked past him smiling & walked down to the highway. I rang my LH to see if he was leaving work soon, because if he was I would start walking toward our local town & he could bring me home. If not I was going to turn around & walk back.

In the end I walked 5km, mostly up-hill & along the highway. I swear 30 trucks went past me. It was a hard walk but I felt so good for doing it.

Healthy eating + exercise= happy Cate

I rang my mum's nursing home & spoke to a different nurse who said the doctor saw mum yesterday & they are going to half the strength of her pain patch as that may be the cause of her confusion. Unfortunately the nurse had already put one on that morning.

I then spoke to mum who was back to feeling good & calm. I had to tell her that I wasn't coming in but I'll see her today. Hopefully our older son will call in with the 3 kids this afternoon ,as he had planned. I might text him to remind him.

What a gas-bag. I had better stop right now.

Hi to anyone reading my diary. Feel free to say g'day! xo Cate
 
AHi Cate! Yay for doing such a god walk! And it's great to hear that your mum is doing a bit better.
I know that for me to get anyone to read my diary, I had to go out there and spend a lot of time reading everyone else's and writing on theirs too... You should look at the people that comment on my diary and maybe have a look at theirs?
xxx lots of healthy vibes your way!
 
Hi Joh, I have read lots of diaries but am hesitant to involve myself when I feel that there is a close-knit group of friends & they may think I'm butting in. I'll get over the hurdle soon. I'm still feeling my way over here. Mum was good yesterday & hopefully her agitated state the other day was not the sign of worse things to come. Today I have started what will be 2 weeks of my original program.(any more than that I would have to do re-feed.) I've been trying so hard to get motivated to do it but had been feeling a bit negative & not mentally strong, with all the stress of the last few months. Now, just like when I first went on Cohen's, I am able to commit to it & am coming from a good head-space. I feel positive about myself again. Once again, it's all about getting the head right! I hope you will get some good news about the flat soon. It looks marvellous!! xoxo Cate


Last night- We had a funeral to go to during the afternoon (elderly mother of a friend-98!) & then a show in Launceston that I had booked & paid for over a month ago so we decided to have dinner in town, rather than drive home in between, in the opposite direction. The show was by Brian Cadd (ex the Groop & Axiom) & Russell Morris & band & it was brilliant! A great rock show, put on by a couple of old rockers who still have got it! We spoke to them both after the show & we bought 2 of their CD's, which they autographed. I told Russell Morris that we saw him in the early 70's at Festival Hall & that he sings now as well as he did back then. It was great to chat with them. We talked to Russell Morris the longest mainly about RocKwiz, one of our favourite tv shows. They ask him to play regularly, but the pay is lousy, but like us, he loves them so does it. They were funny guys & great to talk to. We both had a ball. I got up & danced over at the side by the end of the show, with a couple of sisters, who were sitting the other side of my LH. I'm so glad we went. It's sometimes hard to get the oomph to go to shows in Tassie, because they require a 120km return drive (usually by me), but it is so worth it! We are both really into rock music! It's also good to not only have great rock memories, but also to keep making them by going to live shows. We don't usually go to see old rockers that we saw way back because of fear of disappointment but we knew that these 2 were still singing & playing well because we have seen them on RocKwiz recently, singing live.

On the way home we called into our YS's pub & talked to one of the musos who had played there last night. We were sorry to have missed their show but will see them next month when they come back up from Hobart. We were really enthusistic about our night & one of them is going to look up Russell Morris to have a listen to some of the songs he has recorded. "The real thing" is the one that comes to mind with most people :)

Today- Lazy day today. It has been bucketing down with rain & my LH is not going anywhere. he is currently snoozing in his chair. he over-indulged just a bit too much at the wake yesterday, so much so that he only had one glass of alcohol at the show. It's time to find me a good book to read. I may install a new DVD player that our YS gave me yesterday first though as a movie may be in order later on today. Hopefully it will be a simple job. The DVD player that we have, has never been able to be tuned in, by anyone who has attempted it, so it's time to give up on it. We haven't been able to watch DVD's for years. I just have never got around to getting one. We still have an old tv that needs a set-top box to get digital tv. I know, I know, we're fossils. I hate spending money on things that seem so expendable & not really necessary when there is so much gross consumerism in the world.

I will go have a wander around some diaries, after first checking out Facebook.

Cheers everyone, xo Cate
 
AHeya Cate

I just dropped by to say a huge thank you for the wonderful comments you put on my diary. I proper well up!!! You are so sweet. I can't believe you managed to sit and read thru 3 months of my waffling and ranting!!!!

I brough up you diary with the intention of reading it all but OMG how many pages?!?! i am never gonna get chance to read thru that lots, not in the near future anyway so i read this page and i will keep up to date with your life. I will try and go back to the start but forgive me if i don't get chance to.
Sorry to hear things are pretty stressy in your life at the moment. Sending lots of love and hugs your way. Xx
 
Thanks Kate. I think you're very sweet too & I love your sense of humour. I've been posting in my diary for well over 3.5 years & I am such a chatter-box. I wouldn't expect anyone to read my diary in it's entirety, not unless they had nothing at all to do & you have a busy life! Once I started my diary & began to really open up & share my feelings it had multiple benefits. It made me look at how I thought about myself & the self-esteem issues I had. When you put things out there for public scrutiny you also analyse them yourself. I got such warm & encouraging feed-back & found it helped me to feel better about myself. It gives you the chance to express who you really are & I have carried that through into my everyday life. I'm no longer afraid that people will not like me if they see the real me. I think that most of us have similar self-esteem issues, albeit very different circumstances & lives. I will continue with my dairy because it is now a part of my life. I often delete things when, by typing them, I realise they are not such an issue & it helps me overcome problems. I'm not feeling so stressed today. The stress with my mum is only so if I continue to let it. It's something I have to learn to let wash over me. She is in a safe place & she is much better off where she is than where she was. I feel guilty when I don't feel like visiting her but I see her at least 3 times a week. Hopefully it will get easier & I will adjust. With me sometimes it feels like a light switch turns on & my attitude changes. Hopefully that will happen soon. Thanks for visiting my diary Kate, sending you a big hug right back, xoxo Cate

Weight!!

I followed my original program for one day & lost 1.5kg. I was 85.5 but didn't want to admit it. That's another reason why I have been feeling down lately. I had to put a stop to the scales creeping up so decided to have a drastic day. I was ravenous all day & thought of nothing else but food. I don't think I can keep following the program 100% because the portions are too low to be really active & being active & getting fitter have really high priority for me these days. When I first did Cohen's I was so over-weight that I didn't feel capable of exercising for fear that I would have a heart attack. Now it's more like fine-tuning.

By having a really limited eating day & knowing that I ate that way for 6 months has made me realise just how much more I have been eating than I should be. I think I had started to throw out all my self-imposed rules. That's a big mistake. By really restricting what I eat again for a while I will regain my good habits. I won't say I'm on day 2 because it's more like I'm on day 1,398 as my weight-loss journey started back in early 2007 & will continue until the day I die & that's ok too. Life is good!

Lots of love to anyone reading my diary, xoxo Cate
 
AAh, yeah, I remember when I started cohens, the first week was HELLLL!!!! And then I did it again before we got married, and it was so hard to get back into it... I think it's great that you've done it for a day and it has made you really think about your eating, and making the conscious decision to value your exercise and fitness regime - I think this is really smart. Yay for you!

Are you weighing in once a week, or... what's the plan?
xx
 
My plan is based around my original one, but with about 14 day re-feed quantities & including some of the extra veggies, like carrots & broccoli, but none of the "extra' carbs, until I get below 80kg & I am aiming for 1 hrs exercise each day. I'm going to have another crack at My Fitness Pal & see what that says as well. I hadn't even read over my Cohen's book for ages & it is amazing how much I have forgotten. No wonder I have put on weight! I've been eating sweet potato, thinking it's much better than pumpkin. Ouch! & pears! ouch! I know that following their maintenance guidelines I would never have put 10kg back on. I know it. I will weigh myself when I feel like I've lost a bit more, when I've had a BM, when I'm feeling on top of it, when the moons & stars are in alignment etc lol but will try really hard to wait a week. I want to make sure I'm losing though as I'm tweaking amounts & included foods at the moment. I think I like the sound of what a lot do here, using fitness pal so you can vary it a bit, depending on how much exercise you do. Just so long as I don't feel I can then eat things I shouldn't really. I would rather feel like that switch has been turned on & then I'm a much healthier eater. Once I'm below 80kg I'll slowly re-introduce some of the carbs that I am temporarily excluding. I feel committed to getting down though Joh. Day 1 was a real test & a good lesson. I had decided I could eat 2 eggs this morning but with extra veggies(zucchini, mushroom & tomato) but when i saw one egg with the veggies I though "Whoah- that's enough!" Wouldn't have happened 2 weeks ago. I would have eaten 2 eggs, veggies & a slice of gluten-free toast. As it is, I'm feeling really full.

I'm off to see Mum this morning & will take her up the street,

Lots of love to all, xoxo Cate
 
Started using My Fitness Pal today. Have set a goal of only 1lb a week loss(recommended) & have put what I have eaten today in. I'll try to keep it up. Oonce I've spent more time on it, it will get easier. I have had a very stressful morning in town this morning (Mum, OS, YS, MIL) but will go do something physical- gardening perhaps to snap me out of it. I felt really depressed when I got back home! It's a beautiful, sunny day & should not be wasted either stressing-out or being inside.

I think I will learn to like MFP. I tried it once before but gave up too soon I think. It's a whole new concept for me, but it makes lots of sense. It says I still have 683 cals left, without having done any exercise at all! I feel REALLY full as I ate the last of my Lemon Vaalia yoghurt, after having had mozzarella & tomato, cucumber & celery for lunch on crackers! I felt like chocolate! (or alcohol :blush5:)

Bye for now, xo Cate
 
I found MFP really useful for looking back when I hadn't had such a successful week and realising why! It helped me track some of the longer term patterns between what I ate and when I lost weight. I wish I was better at keeping it up to date though - I used to just do it every day automatically.
 
I'll try to keep it up jjjay as I think it will be very helpful. I will have to spend a lot of time setting up my foods but it should get easier as I go. I quite enjoyed it but feel it may give me an excuse to eat more toward the end of the day. I'll have to get used to that & get over it. It will be interesting to see if what I think I'm inputting into the system matches the scales. It will take time to get quantities right as I will have to do some guessing when I'm out. Life's like that & this may stop me being so scared to eat some things. Time will tell. Thanks for visiting my diary Jay xo Cate

We just got a call from a very old friend who is travelling around Tassie. He & his partner stayed with us for a few days about a year ago & we all got on really well. It should be fun catching up & we are meeting them for lunch at our YS's pub. He has never met our son. Unfortunately we have a funeral to go to at 2pm. Knowing him he will probably stay there for the afternoon. They are heading back to Victoria on the Spirit Of Tasmania (ship) tomorrow night. He is one funny guy. I'm looking forward to it.

Lots of love to all, xo Cate
 
AHeya hun

I use myfitnesspal all the time. It has made it so much easier for me as i don't have to look up cals for everything, if i have something new i just 'search' it and it totally amazes me that MFP always seems to have it in it's memory. I don't put my exercise in there though cos i am the sort of person who would say' oooh, i have burnt 500 cals i can now eat my own body weight in chocolate'

Hope you have a great time with your friends and i hope the funeral isn't to bad
 
Hi Kate, You made me laugh! I can understand your reasoning there :smilielol5:I'm being very tentative about it so will not think too much about how many calories it says I can have for the moment as I really want to kick a few kilos fast. I want to do it as a long-term thing so will try getting into the habit. I like it so far. I must admit it surprised me having the Tassie yoghurt I eat, but then there would be so many people from all over the world inputting their local food info into the system, which is great!

It will be fun to catch up today & the funeral will be sad but the man had lost a lot of his quality of life & that's always sad to see. I love 2 of his daughters & they have had a tough time the last couple of years with some horrible stress. It will be nice to see them, even under the circumstances & give them both big hugs. Love to you Kate & to anyone else reading my diary, xoxo Cate
 
It's so good to be back on track! Yay! I feel much happier today after a good day yesterday. Everyone around me has not been in a happy head space lately & yesterday things seemed to fall back into a happier place. I'm happy for Joh & her flat & it was just lovely catching up with old friends. You are immediately at ease with really good, old friends. Catching up with the women that I really love at their Dad's funeral was also nice. On one bad note my MIL was bitten by a dog(poodle) in a shop, where she was visiting a friend, who is also a nursing sister & she took her to the doctor. We called in after the funeral where we heard about it & she was quite shaken up. Her friend came to re-dress it as she hadn't been too impressed with the dressing. The wound looked yucky. Poor old thing! She will pat every dog she sees. She is not a timid person, by any stretch of the imagination. I don't think this will frighten her long-term. Mum was so much cheerier yesterday as well & much more switched on. It was such a relief! I didn't weigh this morning. MFP says I need more calories but I guesstimated my lunch yesterday as I had it out & it probably had more calories than I could see. I will see what happens today & will weigh tomorrow. Love to all, xo Cate
 
Another good day. I struggled to come even close to how many calories I'm meant to, according to MFP but do admit I'm hungry. I'm trying not to mix my proteins & I really want to lose some weight fast but I'm trying to be sensible & eat more than my brain tells me to. I can't wait to weigh tomorrow. I'll try not to!

I did the bar at 8-ball tonight & worked quite hard (no pay). I took some Vita Wheat crackers & ate an apple on the way home & didn't have any supper! There was pizza, home-made mini pasties, multi-grain sandwiches, Ciabbati (?) with bacon & cheese & chicken nuggets. We organise it & then get money off our players. Our players seem to like junk but we try to balance it out a bit. I am going for a Mammogram tomorrow (80km return journey) & have a bit of shopping to do. Not much money unfortunately. Whoops- it's after midnight. Pumpkin time!

Love to all, xo Cate
 
AHeya sweetie.

I struggle to eat all my cals too most day. I have between 50 and 250 left at the end of the day most days (ok, not today lol) and i'm fine with that. I am not usually hungry (ok, not today lol) How many does it say you can have? I can have 1200.

Glad the funeral went well and you got to catch up with people you care about and that's great news about your mum. :) Hopefully she will be ok now and it was just a blip.

AND OMG!!! well done you on not eating any of that gorgeous sounding food :hurray: :hurray:
 
Hi Kate, I just got side-tracked (not at all unusual for me :blush5:) going for a look at MFP to see how many calories per day they say & got a shock when I saw 1480 so I changed my goal to 2lbs a week, instead of their recommended, & now it says 1200. Then I put in what I had eaten for breakfast( I was ravenous!)- 2 eggs, 1/4 zucchini, 1.5 small fresh mushrooms, 1/2 a tomato, cooked in about 1 teaspoon of olive oil & a little garlic salt. I ate it with 4 squares of Salada originals. Oh Yummy that breakfast was nice. I now have 842 cals left so that should be about right I reckon as I'm also going for a walk. I got such a shock when I got on the scales this morning. They absolutely MUST need new batteries. I don't quite believe it.

82.5kg!! 3kgs down since last Saturday- 5 days!!!!

Oh boy, I really can't believe that. I even had one stubby of Mercury Light cider last night at 8-ball. My body is so carb sensitive obviously & when I cut out the really starchy carbs my weight drops. This may have to be a permanent thing I think. When I do re-introduce the starchy carbs like bread(gluten-free) rice etc I will closely monitor the effect of each one, separately. I know it's not sustainable forever.

I know the scales should not affect your mood but boy, oh boy do I feel great!!

I'm meeting our OS for lunch in Devonport today as I have a mammogram & he's taking his car to get fixed & seeing a movie & we're going to meet afterward, just the 2 of us. That will be nice. We're having Thai food. That will be interesting to try to keep track of that but I will. No wine helps too. I may have just one. I am in no hurry to get home today as I don't have to take our GS to Taekwondo. He has been ill since his camp- a bad cold & will come out with my LH & spend the night with us. If he's still sick tomorrow I think I'll take him to the doctors. I'll ask our son today if that's ok. I think his mum thinks he's putting it on but I saw him yesterday briefly & he looks awful. It is so hard to work out where the kids are on which night. It would be easier if they had them week about I think but it's nothing to do with me. Our son has let me know lately that he doesn't know what he would do without our support. That's nice. It's not an easy time but we'll all get there.

Time to do the dishes & head. I'm now looking forward to my day as I don't have to rush back by bus time. In fact I don't have to be home until about 6.30pm. Nice. I'm taking my runners with me & plan on having a big walk around the beach. :biggrin:

Lots and lots of love to all, xoxo Cate
 
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