Cate's Diary

& have had a beautiful afternoon with the grand-kids & are feeling really loved :beating:
There will always be ups & downs unfortunately.
Coping is so much better than not coping.
*sighs* & sips on a glass of Cabernet/Merlot.(max 2)
Our son is calling in again later. He is currently at "dhome" with the kids while our DIL goes to exercise class & will sleep at "ehome" tonight, via a visit to us. I will give him some of my Pho Bo to either have for lunch at work or when he gets home tomorrow night.
I really enjoyed my afternoon with the kids!
Love to all, xo Cate
PS Also enjoyed seeing my DIL & giving her a big hug & kiss!
 
& we have just had a lovely couple of hours with our OS. He has explained things a bit more & has allayed some of my fears re our DIL. I feel relieved & more hopeful for the future. Life will go on. xoC
 
Cate, Cate, Cate. I don't even know what to say. So many problems in such a short time. It's always so sad when a family falls apart, even if it ends up being for the best. I'm so, so sorry to hear about all of this and especially your DIL's overdose. I hope that she wasn't trying to kill herself and that she's in a decent state to care for the kids. What a sad mess.

And I'm sorry for all the rest... the various health issues, your sadness. {sigh} I'm just cheering you right up, aren't I? Ha!

Anyway, I'm thinking of you. I know that you're probably busy being strong for everyone else. Try to remember to take time for yourself too.
 
Misty, just by being supportive you are cheering me up. It's true that we are usually too busy being strong for everyone else(or trying to be) but I am doing ok now. It really does help me to think that others do care about me.
I needed to talk more with our OS as I need to understand it all better & last night was good. I asked some hard questions and feel better now I have the answers. I don't think our DIL was attempting suicide. She does have mental issues but she is a really good mother & would not jeopardise the kids. That is something I do believe. It has frightened the wits out of her too & our son feels confident she will not do it again. She is going to get some more help for her mental problems. Most stem from her upbringing. Her family are so mixed up & she is the most sane of all of them. She has done well to keep it together for so long.
Their break-up is a very brave thing to do as they realise that they don't love one another as a couple. They do love one another as friends & are trying to do whatever they can to make this ok for the kids. They had considered other options to separation but felt that they may have ended up really resenting one another. It will be so good if they stay as good friends & share lots of time with the kids together. That's the plan. They will do this very gradually.
I must have hope that their future will be good. They do have enough love for one another that they want each other to be really happy in the future. They both hope that the other finds someone else further down the track. A marriage cannot last if both feel that way so it is to be that this marriage is ended but their friendship & support for one another hasn't. That is nice.

Wednesday= Tai Chi day!
Lovely!!

I am sleeping well now which is good so I am waking up feeling ok. I tried typing good, but ok is the truth. OK is ok though. I'll take that for now.
Lots of love & thanks for the support, xoxo Cate
 
I feel even better today. I rang my mum in hospital yesterday & she sounded a lot better. I asked her if she's scared of going home & she said she wanted to go into a home now. When I mentioned moving to Tassie she didn't say anything so I'm not sure if she's gone off the idea totally or not. My brother will be back up there in a day or so & I'll talk to him then.
Our son is still doing things with the kids & called in on his way to work this morning & on his way home last night. It will be a very gradual thing I think. He will always be in their lives. Some kids see their fathers less than they they will see our OS, even when their parents still technically live together.
I'll ring my mum's doctor again today to see if I can find out how she's going.
Time to do some dishes etc. It's cold & the wood heater got a bit low last night & my living room hasn't warmed up properly yet. I'm sitting here with a Mexican rug wrapped around me. It would a funny sight.
Tonight is Taekwondo night & I will pick up our OGS from his 'dhome' and take him & then he'll come back here for the night, which will be nice.
I think it would be better if our OS tells his grandmother about their separation but I may have to just in case she hears about it from someone else. I don't feel like telling her though as I know she will say something against our DIL & I will have to defend her. You have to be feeling very strong to tackle my MIL.

I have gained 3kg in the last 2 weeks which is a pain but I know why really. I have hardly drunk any water & have not eaten as well as I usually do. Perhaps the gluten-free bread is doing it as well as now that I have a nice one I have been eating it more often. It's probably a combination of all of those things. I know I haven't been eating enough vegetables. The default crackers & cheese have got me through quite a few days when I felt like skipping meals altogether but have probably contributed to fluid retention.
Time to get rid of it. I feel much stronger emotionally again so will concentrate on eating better & drinking water.
Instead of getting off the computer & into the dishes I will hop on my exercise bike!
Bye for now, xo Cate
 
& I did! 15 mins on my bike & then 2 sets of weights (8 reps each). 12 weights x 2x8=192 reps. YAY! It felt great & so do I now. Obviously my rock work has kept me strong. :D
xo Cate
 
cate said:
AnnaG, that is so sweet of you to think of me. I had been feeling a little sorry for myself but am now feeling really supported by my forum friends. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I have 2 of my 3 grand-kids with me right now while their parents have an appointment re income support. I feel more in balance today thank goodness.
Better go. Lots of love Cate
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So glad you are feeling better!!
 
cate said:
& I did! 15 mins on my bike & then 2 sets of weights (8 reps each). 12 weights x 2x8=192 reps. YAY! It felt great & so do I now. Obviously my rock work has kept me strong. :D
xo Cate
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Exercise will keep your mind relaxed! Good job!!
 
Exercise is essential for my well-being these days. It is the best mood lifter. I had woken up feeling good yesterday anyway & that inspired me to exercise. I also took my dogs for a walk in the afternoon & we all loved that. It was cold though! Took my OGS to Taekwondo last night & had another lovely evening with him. I always call in at my MIL's on Thur night & put her bin out & have a hot drink with her. Last night felt like the right time to tell her about the separation. It went well as I think I put it well. I didn't cry & she actually showed me some empathy. She said there's nothing I can do to change it & was more worried about me, after first making sure that the kids are ok. I was impressed actually as I really expected her to be very critical, especially of my DIL. Mind you I did say that I don't blame either of them. I feel that I put it to her well. I said that they didn't love one another enough to stay married & live happily ever after. I also said that our son had told us that they knew that they didn't share the sort of love that my LH & I feel for one another. I added that she & I have been very lucky to have the love that we have had. I felt really strong telling her & am really impressed with how she took it. I told my LH that she has really redeemed herself because she has has shown very little sympathy for my mum's plight recently.

Our GS is here until his mum picks him up a bit later. It's school hol's here. Time for me to do some housework.
Lots of love to all, xoxo Cate
 
I'm feeling really good at the moment. Our YS rang yesterday & spoke to me for about 20 mins without even mentioning the business he wanted to buy into. It seems it's on the back burner & he thinks he might sell his house so that if another opportunity comes up he will have some money of his own at hand. He isn't living in his house any more anyway & is about to rent his room out. He cut his ankle badly last Monday & didn't tell me as he thought I had enough to worry about as it was. 22 stitches-OMG! It was really thoughtful of him not telling me as it happened same day Mum went into hospital!
I just got home from going into our local town. I went to the library to pick up a couple of books ordered & the librarian couldn't find one of them & was so embarrassed. I said not to worry & that I would call back next Wed.
I went to the local park to eat a tub of yoghurt before going for a walk around the river(2.5k) & who should I spot but my OS & the 3 GK's so I talked to them for 15 mins & we went for a walk together. Nice!
When I got home there was a phone message from the librarian saying she found the book & was coming out my way & could drop it off. She gave me her mobile number so I rang her back to say that would be great & gave her directions. It turns out that she is having a house built up the other end of the road where we live.
I love living in the country & in a small community. Little things like this are such a part of my life. She has just been & gone. They are also building a solar passive home. She's very nice.

I have had a lovely day. I am about to ring my Mum in hospital to see how she's feeling. My brother took her for a CAT scan yesterday. I have to ring him too.
Love to all, xoxo Cate
 
Hi Cate :grouphug:! I was just catching up on you, and I'm sorry to hear of the seperation in your family. It sounds like each passing day, you are coming to better terms with it. I commend you for that. Your strength is increasing day by day as well as I see.

You are completely right, though. If two people are wise enough to acknowledge that they love each other as people, yet not have the love that for example, you and your LH share, then, yes. It's best for the children as well to split. I remember that I loved my mother and my father more for doing so. I enjoyed them in a light I would have never had the chance to see if they had not. They were in true peace & joy. They translated that to my brother & I. It was alright.

As for exercise! Cate, yes, exercise is the key to peace of mind, freedom of thoughts, foundation of strength, & enjoyment of life! I'm so happy that you are making the time for the best part of enjoying your temple! :grouphug:

Cate, you are so admirable. The way you handle situations, and find the best in everything. It constantly makes me aware that if we are in the appreciation mode, we attract people into our lives who have golden nuggets of wisdom. We just have to listen & be ready to pick them up. Thanks Cate, I can't tell you how many of those you have provided just by the person you are!

Stay strong, my Aussie girl! :beating:! Keep on enjoying your books! I love new books & I miss the library! I go sit in the bookstores, but I really do miss the old texture of mishandled books. LOL!!! :D! LUuuuuuuuuuuuBBBB YOU, Cate!!!
 
Alta, you are such a darling & I love you too!! I just got back from a one hour, strenuous hilly walk to find this message. SWEET!! I feel fantastic after it. I really didn't feel like going & I pushed myself & went. I forgot to mention that after I left my son & the GK's yesterday I went for a very brisk 2.5km walk. Getting back into exercise mode. YES!! Thanks for that post Alta. You have made me feel really good about myself.
Big hug back to you, xoxoxo Cate
 
Cate, I'm so sorry to hear about all the drama and sadness in your family right now--Things never happen on at a time, do they?! Just wanted to pop in and let you know that I'll be thinking of you and that I admire how strong you're being.
Best, Hana xx
 
Thanks Hana, That's sweet of you. No- that old saying "It never rains, but it pours" is very true. Life goes on & I'm ok. I appreciate all the love & support I'm getting from the forum. It really is lovely xoxo Cate
 
& the support continues :D. Thank you Trusylver-I really do appreciate all the support I'm getting xoxo Cate

My walk yesterday was 3.6 km & was very hilly. It was a good work-out. Today my LH & I have been getting wood for about 1.5 hours so am feeling quite fit. Happy about that. Exercise & healthy eating & I are now quite good friends :)
Love to all, xoxo Cate
 
Hang in there Cate.

Remember... happiness is up and down every day. Deep inner joy is something no-one can take from you.

You are sad because your son & daugher in law will separate. Be joyful that you've raised an honest son and have lovely grandchildren, and that they are trying to handle it maturely and lovingly.

Your are sad because your Mum is old and ill and alone. Be joyful that she is a lovely mum that you DO love and that she has given you that lasting legacy. We can't do anything much about the awfulness of old age, but we can give back some of that love to them as they become more helpless.

Sadness is OK - let the tears come, and then be joyful for all that you see around you.

Love Niyahxx
 
Hi Niyah, The sadness has lifted & I feel ok. My mum is still an issue but I have her best interests at heart & now it's a matter of making sure that she is looked after. At the moment that means watching my brother & making sure he doesn't organise her into the home that she does not want to go into. It would be very convenient for him to do so but she has always expressed a strong view against this place.
I had a great day yesterday with my LH & then got a call from my brother last night that almost undid the lovely day. Almost. I was very angry with him but contained myself & said for him to put himself in mum's shoes & imagine going in there. He thinks she is just being devious. I still don't think he believes she is getting dementia.
I have shed so many tears about the separation & now it's time to move on & help make it work well. I think I can see our OS being more like his old self again which is lovely. He has a lovely soul & it has been weighed down for quite some time.
It's nice to have you visit Niyah. I hope you & your family are ok. I know that it can never really be easy for you. Sending you back some love, xoxo Cate.

Today-
There's a thick frost & the sky is blue, blue , blue. :D
I'm going to ring my mum's doctor in a sec but then hop on my bike, literally & do my weights. My LH just headed off to golf.
Life is good. I'll feel better when I feel mum is taken care of but I'm doing what I can from a distance. I think my sister will be able to go up if mum is coming out of hospital & I can make some calls, depending on what the doctor tells me.
Love to all, xoxo Cate
 
Hi Cate

Just letting you know I am thinking of you. I'm glad to hear you are feeling better.
Family situations are never easy....I can attest to that with my horrible year last.
But things do improve and life does go on. But remember amongst it all to look out for you...which is something only you can do.

Love and best wishes
Sam:)XX
 
Oh Sam, You're a sweetie! I came on here to fill in 15 minutes that I have to wait until I ring the hospital where my mum is & sound "firm & assertive" with them. I'm trying to work my way up to it!! I have been on the phone for hours!! When this all dies down & mum is sorted I will take some me time I promise! Arrggghhhh!!!!
Much love to you Sam xoxoxo Cate
 
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