Camy's diary

I feel ill... my muscles hurt and I have no hunger. I do not feel sick to my stomach (nothing hurts in my tummy, no nausea vomiting or diarrhoea), but I do not feel well to my stomach either.

All day I had 2 glasses of water and a vegetarian california roll sushi (just veg and rice). Probably I have eaten about 250-300 calories... sad but true.
I may eat something for dinner, or I may not, I am not really sure. I do feel like I could stomach rice and maybe some green cooked vegetables (maybe zucchini or spinach...).
I have barely any energy, which is not strange considering I barely ate anything yesterday and didn't eat almost anything today.
Yesterday's menu: breakfast: a glass of water, then later some melon an a few grapes
Lunch: a few pieces of oven baked potatoes (maybe 5 or 6 smallish pieces) and maybe 4 salad leaves
Snacks: 1 gluten free muffin
and dinner: 1 bowl of leek and potato soup.
I am going to calculate grossly and I would say I was near 1000 calories (considering the muffin had like over 400 cals... I have no clue how many it really had), because the soup was about 200 cals and the potatoe and salad leaves can't have been more than 300. the melon was 50, and the grapes maybe 30.

It is justy crap when you feel sick-ish, but not sick enough to stay in bed, because when you stay in bed at least oen day it is gone andyou can continue your life, while I just "sickle" along and I am sure my muscle pain has done nothing but increase in the past 4 days. I feel weak and my head aches.
But on the good hand: my trousers definitely fall off my hips. Even with a belt on they just don't fit anymore. I know that after this disease or whatever phase, I may put on some weight again, but it is still wonderful.
Again someone told me how slim I look. Great!
And I got an extension for the essay (another 2 days yey!) and my first essay had quite a good feedback, which I honestly did not expect.
So that is all folks, Camy
 
I still weigh in at 65 kg, so I am not changing the ticker.
I have huge huge problems at the moment, I was just so stupid and I cannot believe it, I spent the whole night crying and trying to find some answers online but there is little I can do on a sunday...
So I will explain:
we are a student household and we therefore do not need to pay council taxes. So when the council sent me letters to remind me to pay my taxes I first called them and told them we were students and they told me that was fine and I just need to send my student status in. But because I am a doofus I completely forgot (not even that, I just couldn't be bothered for a while, then forgot, then it was too late or too early to post stuff... etc!), and we kept getting letters from them, everytime we did I was like "oh yeah the council tax! I need to send that stuff tomorrow!" and my two flatmates gave me their statuses, so I could send it all together. Which I never did!
So yesterday I got 2 letters from the bailiff, saying that if I do not give them 400 plus pounds (and the second one says 800 plus pounds), they will start taking our stuff.
I then went through the mail I had put away as "junk mail" and found 2 letters from the council, one summoning me to court to settle this and one saying that since I didn't come to my summoned date they would use the bailiff if I didn't get in touch quickly. These are from january. We owe the council 2 years of tax, but not really because we are tax exempt. But they don't know this!

Tomorrow I will talk to the council and bring (or fax) my statuses and all, I will also talk to the bailiff people once I have (hopefully) settled on something with the council people, and maybe maybe all will be good. BUt probably it won't. I am afraid they will say that because so much time has passed and the bailiffs have been called, there is nothing they can do and I have to pay the 800 (or is it 400... or even worse 1200???) pounds to the bailiff.
I do not have that much money... and I do not want my parents involved! My mother would freak out!
I am so afraid, I have talked to some debt advisor person online and he said that they should be able to take the tax back, but I will have to pay the legal fees, my friends say I shouldn't have to pay anything, it was just a mistake, and I do not know WTF to do!!
Clearly if anyone has to pay in my household it is just me (because the guys gave me their status ages ago, it was my fault it didn't reach the council), and man... I have just managed to put away some savings, for things like holidays and stuff... I would hate to dig into that for a reason as incredibly stupid as this one.
I feel sick to my stomach, haven't really slept all night and have one asthma attack after the other. I never thought this would happen! I never thought this could happen to me!
I know I have a lot of things, I study full time and I work 2 jobs and I take care of all house hold things (bills, rent etc.. for all 3 of us), but I just cannot believe this.
I want to curl on the floor and cry!

Other than that... well there is no life other than that right now, I am not eating because I feel sick, and I only had a coffee this morning. I also ate some gluten yesterday (by mistake, it was so stupid too), so the sickness could come from both sides.
If I just could turn back time and make my fat ass go to post that letter 3 months ago... but I can't and nnow I have to deal with this. Also I am terrible dealing with stuff like this, I cry easily, am not very good at finding counterarguments when on the phone to people I am afraid of, I just sound like an idiot and ... well tomorrow will be a terrible day in all senses!
Now I need to finish that essay and then do some more homework.
*Crycrycry*, Camy
 
This week is so not my week!!
I am terribly cranky, I slept only 3 or 4 hours, then went to the council, got treated like crap, have to go back this evening to bring in some more papers, then rushed to university, printed the half of my stuff I hadn't printed before to hand in and now my friend who has the other half of the work we have to hand in today (she borrowed it) is like over an hour late, so I am not only missing my deadline, but the class (because I don't want to go and face the prof. without my homework). I'm so mad at her for this. If you borrow someone's work make sure you get to school on time. And if the trains aren't coming or whatever, you fucking come by taxi!
I am so mad and so tired (2 nights of next to no sleep) and just wanting to cry.

I have lost no further weight from Wednesday, but my goal for in 2 weeks is another 4 pounds down, so I really have to work hard this week. I am going to go to the gym tomorrow, wednesday and friday! Finally I can go back to it, because of work and uni I was unable to even make it once a week for the past 2 or so weeks.

Today I had water and a nut bar for breakfast and I will probably get salad for lunch. For dinner I am gonna make fish! Yum! I am looking forward to that. I finally feel a bit better, and I am going to celebrate by having lovely lovely fish.
Camy
 
Ok here I am again...
I have put on like another pound and I am frustrated. But I know where my mistakes lie and I will try to not do them again:
1. I ate too many nut-bars (like cereal bars but with nuts)! They do not say the calories on them, so it doesn't stop me from eating them like 2 or 3 times a day!!
2. I ate gf-bread for breakfast when I know I prefer fruit and my body prefers fruit! I dd it cause there was nothing else in the house!
3. I have done NO EXERCISE!!

So the next 2 weeks I have to do more exercise and shun myself from nut bars!

Yesterday food:
Breakfast: 2 gf toast with margarine on them, 1 nutbar
Snack: 1 rice triangle
Lunch (at 6 pm): tapas (and a lot of them were very greasy! )
Before bed snack: tin of artichokes

I also had a 250 ml apple juice and a 250 ml vodka pop (I had a fight with my man and drank some alcohol.. I never ever drink, this was the first time I bought a drink and it was not worth it! Expensive and tasted like juice and had tons of sugar in it).

Today:
Breakfast: fruit salad and 1 banana
Lunch: sushi (it was yummy!), 1 prune
Snack: 1 apple
Dinner: (still to come) but i am guessing either salad or soup

I am also going to the gym today. In fact I am going after roaming the forum some more. I need to do strength training for my legs and abs (I am planning on doing this every day I can, if possible every day to make snowboarding as easy as possible), some elliptical (20 minutes) and swim 20 lanes.

Oh yeah, my doc send my results of my last blood draw and my thyroid levels are off (so are my cholesterol levels). He now thinks I have hypothyroidism and wants to start me on a low dose of thyroid medication. This will probably aid my weight loss, but I do not want to take medicines just because I think it will make me skinny, so I am getting a second opinion.
That's all from me folks, Camy
 
I did go to the gym and in fact I am in pain now!
For dinner I had some rice (with a squirt of ketchup...), broccoli and corn and a small side salad. And for pudding grapes and some pineapple.
I am now going to bed, Camy
 
OK, I broke all my rules... argh!
I ate 1 nut bar and I didn't go to the gym. My legs ached too badly and I didn't find the time to do it, had 6 hours of class and then met a random friend who spoke non-stop for about 2 hours (I kid you not and funnily enough I couldn't even remember her name!!!).

My food was alright:
Breakfast: melon (est 70 cal), banana (est. 120 cal) and a tea (0 cal, non sugar non milk)
Lunch: sushi (this time it had the cals on it and they were 300) and the nutbar (hmm... well I just looked it up and it was 250 cal)
Snack: a juice (140 cals) and 3 dolmades (rice in vine leafs, they were offered to me and I didn't want to be rude, hmm... I am really lost here... lets google, well around 100, they were pretty darn tiny)
Before dinner munch: 3 corn waffles (90 cals)
Dinner: ratatouille with haddock ( 300) and 1 glutenfree, dairyfree shortbread (80 cal)

So my estimated total is 1470 cals. That is quite OK I think. I was tempted by another nut bar, but didn't! Good for me!

So here is a picture of me as of today, 11 pounds later... more or less. I feel fatter than the past few weeks, I don't know why. Tomorrow I will gym, so at least I don't feel this guilty.
I am so much looking forward to a time in the future when I post a pic where I am truly happy about myself in with the words: I have done it!
But until then, this is me today, not feeling so happy!
Camy
 
Unfortunately I have found out that my scales were very off. I had been thinking they might, but now I know they are. I have weighed myself at the gym and at my man's wonderful super-modern electric scales and yes definitely, my scale at home is rubbish.

This is very sad because I weigh 3.5 kg more than I initially thought, but probably I started off higher than I thought too. I will change my ticker (with 1 crying eye), and this time I will be true to myself.
Sad but determined, Camy
 
Today the department invited us for lunch and I had the world biggest lunch!
A bean and artichoke salad (there I was still doing well), lamb tomato and potato (there I was very full but still ok) and a sticky rice pudding (which honestly I didn't need because I was full! And now I am uncomfortable full!!!).

My legs hurt like hell, I did legxercise yesterday (5x20 up on my tippy toes and 3x 20 squats and 20 kick squats). I will now go and do some more at the gym, but my lunch is still firmly loged into my oesphagus!!
My supervisor ate a ton too and then she said: "I am a bulimic, I just forget to vomit!" which made me laugh so hard! I love it! She is chubby too!
Camy
 
lol, oh boy you have been going through a hard time, I know how that feels when everything just gets on top of you and you just want to cry.
My scales also were 3kg wrong when i started, it was gutting to be 3kg heavier. Your pic looks good, like me you only have it around the butt and hips etc lol - i hate that girls get that.

Chin up though, you can do it! Ill make a point of comming in and being your cheering squad :)

I love that bulimic joke :D
 
Oh thanx wishes! I really need a cheering squad I think!!! Yeah I know I am not huge, but I am not exactly skinny either and I feel this is the moment of my life when I can do it, I have no huge responsabilities, I have enough time to go to the gym every now and then, and I had to change my diet anyhow, so why not in the most positive way!
Which brings me to my food yesterday... as I was doing badly enough before the gym, being too damn full, I then finished the worst eating day of the last 2 months with a visit to a mexican place.
My friends were going, the man even went (although he gave me hell all day about not wanting to come... that man needs a kick in the bum!), so I went. I didn't drink, just had a diet coke while they were having drinks (I don't like diet coke... but there wasn't an alternative other than tap water...). Then I had a salad. But being a mexican place 1.) the salad had cheese and cream in it! and 2.) it came inside a giant taco.
I only ate about 1/5th of the taco (which they told me was gluten free) and then spent the whole of this morning on my toilet getting the taco out of my system. I will have to be more careful with gluteneizing!

I did go to the gym yesterday, but I only did 15 minutes of elliptical and then sit ups (2 x 50), legcersices (3x20 of tippy toes and that machine where you have to get your legs apart), core exercises, for balance etc... and stretches.
Today I won't go because of the sickness this morning and because I have to work from 2 onwards, but tomorrow if all goes well I would like to rollerblade for like a few hours.
My legs are sore and they still will be tomorrow, but I'd rather have them sore all week this week, than having them like this next week on my snowboard-trip. I am determined to be strong enough to do all the pists without having to rest in tears (like on x-mas).

Snowboarding is my new-found passion. I had only doen wintersports once before I turned 18 (when I was 12 and my school took us on a skiing trip which was hell for me, as a shy, not very sociable, precocious bookworm).
Then I got together with the man (at 19) and he told me he snowboards so to impress him I forced my parents and siblings to go on a winterweek with us between x mas and new years. And we all loved it! My mom and sis are total couch potatoes (very skinny ones though) and still we had the best time. My mom would just walk through town and read a lot, my sis, bro and dad learned to ski and I learned to snowboard.
Since then I am hooked. I went again with my in laws that march, then in south america in the andes in august, and then again on x mas with my family and in march with his etc... (for the past 4 years now). So by now I have been quite a lot of times.
I am not very good, but I can now finally curve (that took me ages) and do rather small jumps. Going with my family is fun, but this year I was so out of condition that I only did half days and spent the rest of the time nursing my legs in the sun. And with the man it is more fun, because we do real day trips (like 5 or 6 hours worth of snowboarding on not so crowded pists), and he spoils me a bit (I am quite high maintenance!).

But I have lost some weight, I have exercised and I have a new (beautiful) wardrobe (for the first time I have real boarder-clothes, with professional trousers, a professional jacket and all), so these 5 days will be amazing!
Camy
 
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Hi Camy

- you have been having problems over the past week since I last managed to visit your diary.

I hope that you got the council tax business all sorted out. I know someone else that all happened to and they had to not only get in touch with the council but they had to ask that they ask the court to amend the records so that everyone knew that the court case had been a bit of a mistake. It may be worth checking with the credit reference agencies after you have done that and left a bit of time for it to happen (I think that they are experian, equifax and call-credit) to make sure that word gets through to them that court judgement was all a bit of a mistake. Things like that can have a lot of repercussions. Try not to panic about it - but on the other hand - do not ignore it and let more problems build up.

You seem to get quite ill - I am sure that this is based on the fact that you need to have a specialist diet and accidentally eat things that do not agree with you. You need to take better care of yourself. Having days where you feel so ill you can hardly bare to eat is not good for you. Treat your own personal health as you would a module of your course. Research what food you can and cannot have and plan and organise yourself so that you always have plenty of good stuff available. Plan your menus as if a lecturer would check it and ensure that it is nutritionally sound. Make sure that it has sufficient protein, fibre etc. I am sure that you will want to exercise more as your diet becomes more consistent. I actually think that you will benefit regarding your ability to work and study.

Having said that - well done for going to the gym.

Also - your picture looks lovely. I am actually more concerned by how ill you often sound than whether or not you are losing weight. You look great. Thanks for posting that. You should have more confidence about your current appearance.

Take care
Love
Margaret
 
Hello!
I am new... well actually old, but returned! :)
I have heard snowboarding can be kick ass exercise. It is great to be involved in a winter sport rather than hibernating like we often do! I would like to try snowboarding. I keep saying that I will go for lessons, but here we are into March and I have yet to do it!
Anyway hope things are starting to shape up for you.
Keep up the good things, and don't beat yourself up about the not so good things. Tomorrow is a new day!
Drink your water!
 
oh ive never been snowboarding. In fact ive never even been skiing :O
We dont get snow anywhere nearby, but we have a cool new place called Snow Planet which is just a huge big indoor downhill snow thing. Its not overly expensive to get into, just the hiring of the gear! :/

I bet thats a great and fun way to stay in shape anyway :D
 
Wow, I went from no visits to tons, yey!!

Thank you very much for all your comments!
Omega, yes I do get sick a lot, but in comparison to the years before it is actually next to nothing (I would be ill throwing up every week and have diarrhoea every day or every second day!). It was very frustrating, because 1. it would make normal life very difficult and secondly because nobody believed me how sick I was. The doctors kept saying it was psychosomatic etc...
I have been slacking in taking care of my gluten, but I will try to be more careful. I think the first year will be the hardest. At some point you get used to it. I can already feel it, I do not need pastry when I have coffee. UNthinkable before but now it doesn't even cross my mind when I go to have my coffee.
I also have to figure out my thyroid issue. I will go to see the specialist in April, so only a month to go. I hope they will know what to do with me. I have lost my confidence in Dr.s a bit.
I am also going to look into taking supplements. I am not a big fan, I think they are more harm than good, but in my situation and with my limited food it may actually be a good idea.

Paulette: thank you for stopping by and welcome back. you are almost halfway there! Yey! I know a lot of people who quit snowboarding after a day or so because it is very very hard exercise (you need like a day just to learn to stand up, and you fall a lot and it does hurt when you fall...), but those you get past the first 2 or 3 days and still want to do it... man they love it forever!

Wishes: I didn't notice you were in NZ til just now. Wow, you are at the antipodes from us!! We don't have snow here in England I go to northern Italy to snowboard, but there is a snowdome (the thingie you described) not too far from here. I am planning to go sometime in May there with a few friends just to have fun, but it is the same, hiring is overly expensive! I am happy I have most of the clothes now, but still shoes and board, won't be cheap!! My man and I considered buying me shoes, because I have tiny feet (UK size 5) and snoboard shoes tend to be big. And mroe than once my thin small foot (yeah my one thin part!!!!) slips out of the shoe midpist and that is really dangerous.
So the man thought if we bought really small and well fitting shoes, that could be avoided. But I do not feel like spending so much money on shoes I will only use once or twice a year!

I ate not very sensibly today... it is just a bad week (I tell myself).
Breakfast: nothing (other than dinner in reverse... eugh!)
Lunch: small amount of sushi, without raw fish, just veg and rice (there is a small sushi place where you just pick and mix little packs of sushi right next to my college, I get my lunch sushi and my snack sushi from there)
Snack: some chips and half the meat of a burger (it was the eldest boy's birthday, of the kids I watch, and I just ate a little here and a little there while I tended to the 11 kids at the party)
Dinner: lovely lovely sushi (this time at a real restaurant... a lovely one I didn't even know!), not too much actually, the right amount and tons of green tea

I will now do my legxercises and then I think it is bedtime!
Camy
 
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hehe my doctor took 2 years of telling me i had conjunctivitis in my eye and giving me tons of medication for it before *I* told him i was allergic to cats!

Same happened with lactose intolerance, anytime i had heated dairy products, i would be in the loo feeling sick as a dog all night. That was a harder one to spot though, because hard cheese or yogurts were fine because it was something to do with the heating of the dairy products and the sugars etc :/
 
hey sorry to hear you are not havng a good week. i just concentrate on maintaining on weeks like that rather then losing. and then when you feel up to it you will get back on track and start losing again.

hope you have a better week

x
 
Thanx angel! I did maintain... it is always such a bummer when I don't lose, but I mean it is still better than gaining!
I weigh myself in on sundays and yeah I am stuck on the same as last week. But fair enough! I do have to be more careful.

Today I was going to detox (my body really appreciates the once a month detox day), but I have a day full of work (both uni and actual work) in front of me and I don't think I can do it. Part of detoxing is having a very quiet day and long walks. I detox by drinking like 4 to 5 l of water and green tea (and fruit tea) and eating only fruit until the evening when I eat some raw vegetables. Plus of course soem very light exercise, like walking in the park.
I will do it in 2 weeks when I come back from skiing. Right now I am sitting in my library with a backpack full of water, fruit and some little sushis (rice triangles with seaweed inside them).

Margaret you will be happy to hear that I went to boots and bought myself some immune system boosting supplements. I am planning on taking them for 30 days (since there is 30 one day tablets in there) and reevaluate. I also bought echinacea because I read that you take that before the cold or flu really hits you and you don't get sick! So since my throat felt funny this morning I bought some! I cannot afford to get sick any more... and I don't want to either ;)!

So today I will just study, then work from 5:30 to 9 or 10 and then linger in front of the TV I think... or maybe study some more. I should try to be ahead of all my work this week so I do not feel pressured to do stuff while on vacation next week!

So yey! Camy
 
ugh uni work sucks!! that is what i'm doing right now. well trying to anyway! what are you studying? i finish this year...can't wait! lol.

that detox sounds good. i should give it a go one day. i seem to have chocolate evryday though. might be good if i can resist it for one day hehe. ;)

x
 
ooo thats a good idea, i should take some echinacea too. its just about winter and i cant afford to get sick!
 
Angel: I study a master in medicine, to be precise in foetal medicine. It is part of my training as Ob/Gyn (well a part I chose to be part of my training). I find it very different from medical school, much better in fact, but it is a lot of work.
What do you study?

Wishes: yeah I took it today for the first time the echinacea... in fact my throat is a bit sore... we will see if it works. I am skeptic, I always am with plantsy stuff, but I am going to try to believe in this one, then it will probably help. My mom swears on homeopathy, but apart from being quite yummy (the little balls in homeopathy are made out of sugar) I do not feel it does a lot to my system.

I am still debating myself if I should go to the gym... I think I will... otherwise I will feel like a loser all day!
Food... oh well I was invited to a classmate's house and we rolled sushi and then she made curry as well, so I had a ton of sushi, plus extra veg, plus a small bowl of chicken curry, plus oranges... oh dear!
So today's food:
Breakfast: pomegranate juice + fruit salad + 40 cal hot chocolate
Lunch: sushi + almost a whole cucumber + about 5 surimi sticks + small bowl of chicken curry
Snack: did I really need one?? I had lunch over the course of like 3 hours! But I did have 1 orange + 1 piece of marzipane choc
Dinner: (still to be eaten) a salad or a soup... probably a salad though!

I am going to the gym, my plan is to do 25 minutes on the elliptical and legcersizes... and sit ups! Off I am, to this fabulous gym plan of mine!
Camy
 
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