Byebye Big Bum!

So much positive energy in your journal, jjjay. I loved reading it. I can totally relate to being a new runner. I have been running for about 25 minutes for the last one week and I absolutely love it. Unlike you though, I run outside. Don't really prefer gyms and actually haven't found one where I live I like. You are soooo gonna be in lower 190s soon. Just keep going. I'm here to cheer you on. :)
 
Thanks for the good vibes Juni @D (is that a cyclops smilie?!?)

I am finding running such a buzz - the run outside yesterday was another milestone for me but I found pacing myself really difficult - I found myself speeding up and not have the endurance. I didn't clock watch as much as I thought I would without the distraction of the news on tv etc.. and once I'd got into a rhythm it was the same "keep on running" feeling that I've experienced on the treadmill.

Another good day at this end although I don't know HOW much more work I can do - its literally just firefighting at the moment. I don't mean that I'm a firefighter literally...although that would be rather cool (I'm a negotiator so get paid to argue for a living w00t!! I love my job so much!). I have so much work coming in from all angles that I am trying to bat stuff off of the list and more stuff keeps on getting added. Really really exhausting. Tomorrow is my birthday and I'm meant to be off on holiday for the day but I'm going to have to go in and work :(

I did go to the gym this mornign before work...up at 5am, in the car by 6am, at the gym by 6.40am, at my desk by 7.30 am after a 2.5km / 20 min run. I don't think I'd left enough time since my run last night to recover as I found it tougher than usual but hey, I managed to hang on 20 mins!

Lovely way to start the day - called Mr X first thing as discussed (quite nice to talk to him last thing of the working day, first thing in the morning!), he had to call me back and when he couldn't get through on my work landline, tried my mobile - so he has saved my number from last night's call heheheh. I am quite proud of myself though I was all business-like and not chatty about random other things and he sounded a bit forlorne but brightened up when I told him cheerio then and that I hoped he enjoyed the rest of his day - he was all "awwww thank you". I wanted to tell him it was my birthday tomorrow to see if he sent me a quick email to say happy birthday but didn't get a reason to bring it up.

Good food day apart from a sneaky treat cos it was someone's birthdya in the office:
Brekkie - brown bread toasted cheese and tomato sandwhich (150 cals bread, 200 cals cheese, 20 cals toms)
Skinny latte - 125 cals
1/2 of a mini-chocolate rice crispie bit (35 cals)
1/2 of a mini-doughnut (100 cals)
3 cups of tea (30 cals)
1/2 grilled chicken breast and romaine lettice for lunch (out at a restaurant, ordered caesar salad with no dressing and left all the cheese and croutons) = 250 cals?
1/2 small pear - 30 cals
snack pack of crab sticks (55 cals)
WW chicken lasagne meal (320 cals)

Total = 1315 cals

I'm thinking though: could have eaten pizza or pasta like everyone else in the restaurant. Could have had pudding. Could have had a whole doughnut or several of the crispy mini-bites in the office, could have bought a chocolate bar in the shop on the way back from lunch as did my friends, could have ordered a coffee in Costa near the office, could have gone for free drinks and pizza at a networkign event, could have bought a snack when I stopped at the supermarket on my way home, could have ordered a takeaway rather than cooking a WW meal, could have...could have... OR COULD BE THINNER ON TUESDAY....

YEAH!

Tomorrow will be a test though as I have to take in cakes etc... becuase its my birthday. I plan to pick up some nearly baked cookies from the supermarket (US style - a bit doughy and gooey in the middle) ZOMG I love the white chocolate ones but they are like 250 cals each. I might allow myself one. Carefully rationed throughout the date nibble by nibble..on the premise that I eat a light meal when we go out for lunch to celebrate, don't have any other snacks or coffee all day, eat a light breakfast...although I am going out to dinner to a great place...sigh...life is hard sometimes but lets face it, last year I would have eating biggo breakkie, 3 cookies, chinese buffet for lunch, probablyanother cookie and a latte in the afternoon AND starter, mains and pudding at dinner time!!
 
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<3 Awww I love reading the stories with you and Mr. X :D I hear you about recovery time...I tried to shorten my recovery time yesterday and totally caved after 30 secs of running lolol

Hope things at work get done efficiently! I know what a burden having things undone can be...especially when you want everything done like yesterday lol but greeeat job keeping on track with the cals and the work out...you are incredible jjjay! Mr. X is lucky you are so welcoming of him :-D
 
Happy Birthday jjjay!!!!!
I would like to insert a lot of party emoticons, but you won't see them.
Have a great and fun filled day with lots of good cheer and conversation with Mr. X :)<3
 
awwww thanks Xenon. I've had a great birthday! Lots of lovely presents and been made a fuss of!

ok. quite proud of food today as again massively busy even though the girls at work took me out for lunch:
1 english muffin (160 cals)
1 toblerone cookie (257 cals)
1 bowl of mussels in white wine with chunk of bread (350 cals)
1 fried whitebait starter (hmm no idea probably 300 cals)
1 chicken breast with BBQ sauce, cheese and bacon, homemade chips (again no idea but chicken 250 cals, BBQ sauce probably 50 cals, bacon 100 cals, cheese 300 cals...left most of the bacon, most of the sauce and some of the cheese. didn't stuff myself on chips so I'm guessing 1000 calories?)
5 pieces of red liquorice (20 cals each so 100 cals)
half a cherry beer (150 cals)

total - 2317 cals
Which, in retrospect is what I would have probably eaten on a normal day a few months ago without even thinking twice!

No run today! But am planning to get up tomorrow morning and go for one outdoors.

What else? Sorry to disappoint you Xenon, I nearly emailed Mr X today but decided to leave well alone - I had a reason to get in touch but it wasn't a very strong reason so though I'd let him wait until Tuesday and realise how much he missed talking to me!! Difficult because his name pops up on my car handsfree screen as one of the last people I called! jeepers. Tuesday is SO close! I might not see him again after that. It could be months! (although months = time to lose lots of weight so IF I knew I was definitely going to cross paths with him again, I wouldn't mind).
 
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Wow I'm just proud of you I don't know you
but you make me proud. xD
Keep up the work.
Cant wait for the end of your journey.
 
Thanks Shy219, I can't wait to be where you are!! What an achievement - 219 to 143. I looked at your before and after pictures and I found them really motivating so thanks for being an inspiration!

I weighed in this morning expecting horrors after eating yesterday but was only 197.4 so nothing too drastic. I know there is a world of difference between weight of food sitting in your tummy after a big day of eating and the weight that stays on. Problem is that my parents are taking me out for dinner tonight and my dad wants to go to the chinese (not my top choice but what the hey) so I'm trying to think of how I can keep it small and healthy and low cal!! Steamed rice and something plain I'm thinking.

Don't see how I can fit in a run today either....might take my daughter for a long walk instead so at least I'll burn some calories.
 
hmm. I don;t know why but I;m feeling a bit bummed today. I shouldn't be as I had a really nice birthday yesterday and the weight loss is going well but for some reason i feel a bit down.

I'm trying really hard NOT to translate this into eating loads of junk...so far:
breakfast - one scottish pancake (55cals)
15 pieces of red liquorice (20 cals each so 300 cals)
2 pieces of chocolate (20 cals each so 40 cals)
Lunch - 1 english muffin, 1 egg, scrambled and 50g of smoked salmon (160 + 60+30+117 = 367 cals)
4 cups of tea (40 cals)

so far - 802

so not as bad as it could be but I don't want to eat the rest of the liquorice and chocolate I was given for my birthday. So I've decided to come and write and maybe rant on here about feeling crappy rather than go and eat stuff. You have been warned...may want to skip or speed read the rest of this post LOL.

I've been doing like a mini-circuit workout whilst my daughter watches Disney - all in all 50 crunches, 20 pressups, 40 kettle bell squats, 100 bicep curls with 1.5kg weights and 30 tricep curls with 1.5kb.

I think I have withdrawal from the gym syndrome. Plus I'm going to have to go in and spend the day in the office workign tomorrow (Sunday) because I have some really tight deadlines next week plus the all important meeting with X to prepare for and a load of year end financial/appriasal stuff to wrap up. It really sucks. I think I'll be in early on Monday and workign until late as well. Tuesday too. In fact this next weeks SUCKS big time.

Although I'm really quite excited about seeing X but I feel fat and spotty today (its not even ToM coming up. sigh.). I need to feel zippy and zappy and fadabbydosy and full of energy with sparkle in my eyes. Maybe this is beacuse I haven't been running for two days? Perhaps I will go to the gym near work when I drive in tomorrow.

I'd like to have time to get my eyebrows and nails done - that usually perks me up but I cant' see when I'd fit it in at the moment. Sleep would be nice too! I just feel that I'd like to be on the top of my game right now but instead I feel kind of zonked.

On the other hand, I am a bit stressed about this meeting on Tuesday and whether it will go ok. I took quite a risk organising it and persuading those above me that it was the right way to conclude negotiations (it is even if I put aside the whole X thing) and X has promised me that he won't say or do anythign out of line, that he has no intention of derailing anythign, and I do think he is a man of his word. He even said that if he says anything unintentionally that remotely suprises me or that I wasn't expecting, he would be SO apologetic afterwards. However, I won't stop worrying until its over and done with but then I won't get to see him any more unless I ask him to keep in touch and meet for coffee.

Perhaps this is because I've been workign towards this mini goal for the last 6 weeks and now its nearly done with? Plus, I am up for promotion so if the meeting goes belly up, that may well do too. Actually, thinking about it, it is a pretty stressful time at work at the moment. Maybe that's it.

BAH.
MEH.

Sorry for the rambling and not particularly upbeat thoughts today.
 
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I think you're getting what Americans call "cold feet" :p Well maybe not all out cold feet, but having apprehensions. The time is coming up and you are getting anxious about things. I also think the chocolate, liquorice (<--this is spelled wrong?!) and gym withdrawal are making it worse. You'll be fine jjjay *hugs* I'm sure the meeting will go well. I used to have a stress and paper filled job in the financial industry with a zillion deadlines, so I know that can take it's toll as well. I really loved the job though!
 
Thanks Shy219, I can't wait to be where you are!! What an achievement - 219 to 143. I looked at your before and after pictures and I found them really motivating so thanks for being an inspiration!

I weighed in this morning expecting horrors after eating yesterday but was only 197.4 so nothing too drastic. I know there is a world of difference between weight of food sitting in your tummy after a big day of eating and the weight that stays on. Problem is that my parents are taking me out for dinner tonight and my dad wants to go to the chinese (not my top choice but what the hey) so I'm trying to think of how I can keep it small and healthy and low cal!! Steamed rice and something plain I'm thinking.

Don't see how I can fit in a run today either....might take my daughter for a long walk instead so at least I'll burn some calories.

Don't eat too much steamed rice, there is 500 calories per cup! I LOVE panda express but the rice just has so many calories, you could get a shrimp dish or a veggies dish! :)
 
aww thanks for the hugs Xenon. Logically you are right - it will all be fine. Its a lot of responsibility on my shoulders - its a big deal and has been 2 years in the making and it will just be me and my client in there with X and his assistant.

Its been a really interesting day actually - a typical day when I would have just binged on food and I've managed to keep it relatively in check.

So, I've been thinking of positives and have some goals (long term and short term) that I'm going to set out that are weight related but are a result of losing the weight rather than counting actual pounds. I think all too often we set ourselves targets like "lose 10 lbs by end of May" and it all becomes about the lbs rather than thinking WHY do I want to lose weight, what is it stoppign me doing, how might my life change... So this is my list to focus on that stuff. Some of this is little stuff that I can tick off in the next couple of months, others are probably quite long term.

1) Be a UK size 16 - top and bottom
2) Fit into the two work shirts I bought from Next that are too tight on the arm and I've never worn!
3) Fit into the silk nightgown and dressing gown that my mum bought me for Xmas 3 years ago and have never worn!
4) Run 5km
5) Go a whole week without eating any chocolate
6) Look good in swimwear by my august holiday
7) Keep in contact with Mr X beyond the end of the deal - by phone or meet for coffee
8) Start rock climbing again
9) Walk into a nightclub FEELING good about how smokin' I look!
10) Fit into UK size 12-14...so I can buy some motorbike leathers...and will THEN buy a motorbike again (this is the big target!! and the big reward!! I refuse to be a "big bum" on a motorbike!)
 
Don't eat too much steamed rice, there is 500 calories per cup! I LOVE panda express but the rice just has so many calories, you could get a shrimp dish or a veggies dish! :)

ooh thanks for the tip. I might go for a big bowl of broth soup - but not eat all the noodles in it! I'm not a huge rice eating person - I like meat so that will be the challenge, not eating lots of meat. Although I fancy a bit of steamed fish. The problem will be that it will be a mix of dishes that we all share I think so I will just have to eat a very very small portion.

Reporting back: went to Thai restaurant instead, much much better.

I had a couple of bites of someone's mixed starter (probably about 200 cals worth - i.e. a taste of their crab cake and a bite of chicken satay), then ordered a starter of ginger steamed scallops (3 little scallops) and a plate of steamed vegatables (no sauce) as my main - it was delicious and very very healthy. I had 3 pieces of chicken (like a 1/4 of a chicken breast) from my mum's left over chicken with cashew nuts but no rice, no crackers, nothing else. Pretty sure that I kept under 600 calories.
 
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Good and bad things today...had to go into work (YUK), but got offered a free trip to the football to watch the last game of the season so did that in the afternoon.

Food:
1 egg and cress sandwich (280 cals)
200g of strawberries (56 cals)
1 ham and salad sandwich (285 cals)
1 hot dog (bad I know!!! 300 cals)
1 small bottle of cider (150 cals)
1 WW chicken lasagne meal (320 cals)
4 cups of tea (40 cals)

Total - 1431 cals

Another day when I didn't get to the gym (3 days in a row now :(( )
Will try and fit it in tomorrow...if I can get up really really early and do so before work. I have a conference call at 8am so this would mean up at 5, leave at 5.30, in gym by 6.30, out by 7.30....doable...just!

Feeling a bit ill and fat and spotty which is a real shame. Need to do some exercise to blow out the cobwebs I think.
 
w00h000h000...big day tomorrow!
back down to 196lbs - perfect timing, feeling good.
Still not been to the gym for my run - worked all sunday, did a 15hour day today and no time for gym tomorrow before all my meetings kick off. On the upside, no time for snacking!

Wish me luck for tomorrow! I have a kick-ass outfit all lined up! So glad I lost 15lbs since I last saw Mr X...all worth it right now. Just wish it was more!
 
Good luck with everything tomorrow jjjay! Please be sure to check in to let us know how it went!!!!!
 
LOL. Sorry, I was working until 11pm in the office and then drove home and was going to write a big post but I was SO knackered I gave up!

Firstly, the weight loss news... I am officially 194lbs!! ZOMG! How cool is that! Things can only get better from here on in! I'm on a roll, feeling smaller and more lithe and nearly time to do an update photo for my before/during pics! Not been to the gym for 4 days but not had time to even think, let alone eat loads - just 3 good meals a day and a bad hot dog and bottle of cider at the football on sunday. Since then though, I've done great - even ordered a salad when everyone else working late last night got pizza in. The button in my head that reads "eat less, be healthy, feel great" has been well and truly switched on!

Yesterday could not have gone better. I was wearing what was one of my smallest (and smartest) suit and a tight shirt which I've never been able to fit in (I have it in a larger size that I usually wear!) and which was really flattering. I just looked "on the top of my game right now" and people at work were commenting in the mornign that I looked great today. More to the point, I FELT good.

I popped out for coffee and breakfast and I got a call from Mr X on my mobile saying he was here nearly an hour early so I told him he couldn't come that early hehehe. He was laughing and said he'd start walking slowly from the station. I then wriggled things around so we could start early and texted him back saying so, and he replied by text and signed it very casually with his shortened version of his name - the first time he's used this with me and the first time we've "texted" each other, he's usually quite formal indeed with everyone (I've been trying to get him to use my shortened name but he's doggedly sticking to my "business" name so far!!).

It was great to see him again. Def something there in the "looks" between us and the smiles. He was charming in the meeting - just the right level of professionalism and friendlyness. I pinned him down on a couple of things that I had to be tough on and on one of them I got a right "look" from him accompanied by this funny little smile that said "bugger. I should have seen that coming, she's got me there.I've got no choice now but to agree." - it was very funny especially as no-one else at the table got this undercurrent.

He behaved exactly how he promised me. We've wrapped up our deal but I said I'd be in touch as there's something I wanted to ask him. I'm quite intrigued about getting to the point where we are in "text" mode with each other because that's definately something that goes beyond how a person in his position would communicate with a person in my position.

However, the even better news is that my boss has asked me to convince Mr X to do something jointly with us in the future. Not even my idea - how serendipious life can be sometimes! All I need to do now is set a date for a few months away and lose even more weight!
 
Oh my god I am squealing like a little girl reading this!!!!
How very exciting and motivating and...just..wonderful! :hurray:
I am so proud of your amazing wieght loss but oh my goodness you saucy minx with Mr X being all in control, I LOVE it!
Good for you jjjay! You must be walking on air.
Please keep us updated!
 
Urgh. Not a great day yesterday (weds) but only because I have so much work on - another day where I was in hte office at the crack of dawn and didn't leave til 10pm. The result of which was:
Breakfast - toasted cheese and tomato sandwich (400 cals)
Lunch - very healthy plain grilled chicken salad no dressing (350 cals)
180 cals bag of hula hoops
230 cals bag of chocolate (how could I ?!?! the first naughty vending machine things in ages! I am so ashamed!!!)
Dinner - 5 chicken strips from McDonalds on the long drive home (610 cals yikes)
Total - around 1800 cals

This was like a "mini binge" ie. rubbish stuff but in little quantities (no fries. no soda etc...). Oh well - I did have a major legal deadline and lost 2 hours of work in the evening when my computer crashed and a file corrupted - not the best day ever.

I'm really missing the gym as well. Roll on next week!

Going to call Mr X today or tomorrow (maybe tomorrow - I like calling people on a friday because they are happier!) and see if he was happy with the way things went (and if he is mad at me re the thing I forced him to concede to!!).

On a positive note, my stomach is starting to get much flatter - not "flat" in the overall pattern of things but not bulging out into trousers like it used to be. AND I don't see a huge amoutn of loose skin so I'm feeling quit optimistic.
 
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