Butterfly’s Journey to Health

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I haven’t posted. I’m still here. Wanted to last weekend but was on vacation with no internet connection. Had a nice vacation but a little bit of junk food during vacation. But I’m back on track now. Weight is about the same, 291.9 lbs this morning, previously 291. Still shooting for 285 (as my current goal). Blood sugar has been good for the medication for it has been giving me throat pain. I hope I can continue to stay on it. I will if things don’t get worse. Anyway, here’s yesterday’s food log. Could have been better. I thought too many carbs but My Fitness Pal didn’t seem to think so.

9/1/16

Breakfast-

Protein shake

Peanuts


Lunch-

Tofu scramble


Dinner-

1 vegan pupusa with single serving guacamole

1 organic hotdog with ketchup

Grapes

5 calorie fruit water


Snacks-

Mango apple chia bar (no other ingredients)

Nectarine

Sugar-free gum

1 slice dairy-free American cheese

3 gluten free blueberry waffles

1 gluten free roll with margarine

Estimated calories- 2112

Exercise- 17 minutes of dancing, burned about 86 calories.
 
9/3/16

Breakfast-

Protein shake


Lunch-

Vegetable dragon sushi roll (avocado with fried sweet potato in the middle)

Aged tofu (fried again :()


Dinner-

1 egg and 1 egg white omelette with dairy-free cheese

A few crispy chow mein noodles


Snacks-

2 caramel rice cakes

15 calorie fruit water

2 servings lemon pudding

Single serving chocolate hazelnut butter

1 can canned pears in juice (I did drain a good amount of the juice)

Sugar-free gum

2 hard taco shells (put nothing inside)

3 gluten free blueberry waffles

1 slice dairy-free American cheese

White rice with margarine and brown sugar (really should have skipped that)

Herbal tea

Estimated calories- 2,941

Exercise- 21 minutes of dancing, 6 minutes of weight lifting, 2 minutes of stretching

Estimated calories burned- 113


Too much junk food and too many calories. Also according to MyFitnessPal had 82 extra grams of carbs, 40 extra grams of fat, 1,410 mg extra of sodium, and 29 grams extra of sugar. And says I should have had another 42 grams of protein. Not a good day. I shouldn’t have bought pudding, it’s got 18 grams of sugar per serving. Only 2 servings left, I won’t buy any more.

One good thing that happened this week is I avoided the poptarts I was so tempted to buy. I’ll keep avoiding them.
 
Butterfly88 said:
Too much junk food and too many calories.
Click to expand...

That sounds like a snaccident, something I am intimately familiar with.
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Yes, lol. I'll update you guys later. I'll try to get some exercise in later too since I had too many morning snacks.
 
Love the snaccident mowens! :D
I find I can't eat snacks, especially sweet ones, as once I start I just crave more. I have bigger meals, followed by a small fruit platter, after at least one meal. Occasionally if I am hungry I will eat some jerky or a piece of cheese. I don't buy crisps anymore as they don't just talk to me if they're in the pantry, they yell. If you can avoid having these foods at home that would be best & fill up on raw veg- celery, carrots, cucumber etc.
 
I live with my parents so I can't get all the junk food out of the house because my mom tends to buy it for herself and then sometimes I end up eating some. But yesterday she bought, specifically for me, peanut brittle and 2 gluten-free 2 baguettes. Why? I need to have a talk with her about not buying me junk food. If she buys for herself fine but she needs to stop bringing me home junk.

Another thing with her, last time I went grocery shopping with her I was hoping to pick out some new foods and she got mad at me for spending too much time reading the labels saying she wanted to get home. Well excuse me if I have allergies and don't want to get sick and also want to find the healthier options. I don't drive so I'm going to see if my dad or a friend can give me a ride to the store so I can spend as much time there as I want.

Anyway, gained 3.5 lbs in a week. :( Grr!! I just keep losing motivation.

Yesterday was an okay day. I did eat that whole box (6 servings) of peanut brittle (it yelled) but somehow was still under my calorie goal. Too much sugar though. Otherwise pretty healthy, I didn't have any of the banquettes, which I'm hoping she can return to the store. Consumed about 2,016 calories total. Also danced for 24 minutes and burned about 120 calories.
 
Hey Butterfly! It's tough when people around you don't get it, but you can do it! I don't know about your place but around here I can find a good overview of most stores' products online. And pretty much all companies have lists of ingredients and nutritional value online. Just in case nobody has time to drive you.
 
It is tough when those around you don't understand what you are trying to do. Sometimes we don't know the exact path ourselves. Fresh fruit & veg don't take long to buy sweets. They are way less complicated :)
 
Mowens and Cate, thank you for checking up on me. I lost 1.8 lbs but have otherwise not been well. Been very paranoid and not coping well with life. Still turning to food sometimes but more often turning to hurting myself or shopping for things I don’t need. I don’t know what is worse, I’m not seriously injuring myself, I’m not in debt, but I am obese. I know hurting myself or shopping is not the answer though. Was in pain last night (not where I hurt myself) from what I think is another is another urinary tract infection so going to the doctor. Maybe if that’s cleared up my paranoia will improve a little? I hope. I did finally manage to get to yoga last week though! It was good, hopefully going back next week. Not up to it today. As far as other exercise goes I haven’t really been doing any. I’ve been thinking about weight loss a lot and I’ve decided for now I’m going to work on maintaining my current weight while trying to stop hurting myself and stop overspending, I just don’t want any serious injuries or debt. My fitness pal says with no exercise I could have 2,610 calories a day to maintain, which is actually a lot if I eat the right foods. My fasting blood sugar has been high, which scares me. Will try to cut back on sugar too. I’ve been eating more fruit but perhaps 5 servings a day is a bit much for someone with insulin resistance? As far as money I’ve got a bunch of old stuff I don’t need that I can put on Ebay. Some probably isn’t sellable but enough is. And must open a new savings account, stupid bank was charging me for the old one so I closed it. I’m sure I can find another bank willing to give me a free one. Not so sure how not to hurt myself though, maybe the yoga can help? Will talk to my therapist more about this. Hoping I can still post here while I maintain my weight. I guess that’s allowed? But hoping to go back to losing after this stupid UTI (or whatever is going on) goes away. I’ll try to log what I eat. Sorry for rambling.
 
Hi, honey. Of course, it is fine to post here, while you maintain your weight.
Re a possible UTI. That can cause all sorts of side-effects. When the olds got down in the aged care home my Mum was in, the 1st thing they checked for was a UTI. I have had one recently & have been on antibiotics for a week now & am feeling heaps better mentally as well as physically.
5 servings of fruit may be a little high with insulin resistance. I have 3 per day.
I would be interested to know how you go selling stuff on eBay. I have so much stuff I would love to sell, but every time I look it up it sounds so complicated that I give up before I start.
I really feel for you with the self-harming. I won't say that I understand it, but it hurts me to think that you would do this. I hope your therapist is a good one. I sometimes think that I sound corny or trite, but I really do feel that we all should be caring for ourselves & loving one another. You deserve love, I deserve love, we all deserve love. Take care of yourself butterfly please, xoxo Cate
 
Thank you Cate! I'm going to the doctor next week to see about a UTI. I'll try to stick to 3 fruits a day. Ebay really isn't that hard, it's setting everything up that is the hardest part. You don't sound corny or trite, not at all. I'll do my best to take care of myself. My therapist is pretty good.

Weighed in and down 0.9 lbs! Yay, when I wasn't even aiming to lose. Already did 19 minutes of yoga and stretching today, burned about 79 calories (better than nothing). Maybe I'll dance later.
 
Hi Butterfly.

You have a lot going on. It can be really overwhelming when your coping mechanisms are mainly negative - overeating, overspending, self-harm. I am guilty of all 3 also at times, with my particular brand of self-harm being alcohol and cigarettes.

But you know what I had to do? Instead of saying to myself, 'Wow, I have so many problems, it's too much and I feel completely stuck', I kind of had to turn it around and say, 'Wow, I have so many problems, but so what?' Let those problems exist and still book in an hour's walk every day or a regular gym session or whatever it is you like to do.

What also helps me is to plan out my meals and snacks for the day and say to myself that anything extra is fine, but I am definitely making my healthy breakfast, bringing my healthy lunch to work and cooking my dinner when I get home. I find that there's not a lot of extras I want if I do stick to my plan.
 
I try my best to exercise but sometimes my depression gets the best of me. I am also limited on what exercises I can do due to vertigo. But I try my best. I will try meal planning. Meals I am pretty good with, it's the snacks that get me. So snack planning it is.
 
Depression sucks and it can be SO HARD to do the things you know would make you feel better. So kudos to you for keeping at it and doing the things you can do when you can do them.
 
Depression does really suck. I know it's hard to push yourself to exercise when feeling low, but for me it's the best medicine. Just getting outside lifts my mood a lot. Sending you a big hug butterfly xoxo
 
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