A new me! (hopefully, with some help)

Kate -


May I just say that I am so impressed with you? Truthfully...you are an inspiration. I just spent some time reading through your diary and I cannot stop being impressed with how conscious of your journey you are. The mental part an be the most difficult part to conquer (as I myself am currently experiencing a bit), but to see you be so honest about it is wonderful. It can be easy for me to lie to myself sometimes, but you've motivated me to start being more honest. So thank you!!!


Oh and my goodness, your exercise! That is another habit I need to adopt from you. We are such similar weights that I am finding myself challenged to keep up with you (in a good way!)! I plan to definitely keep tabs on the rest of your journey... :) :)


Thank you so much for writing all of your thoughts down here. They are so valuable.


~Ava
 
AMorning all :)

Sorry i didn't post yesterday......i kinda just slobbed on the sofa snoozing and watching TV. I was really tired.

Breakfast: 50g porridge and jam
Lunch: Butternt squash soup with 2 small slices of wholemeal bread, yoghurt & grapes
Dinner: 5 tiny breaded chicken strips, salad, coleslaw and cous cous
Snacks: 4 coffee's & 3 kiwi's
Total calories = 1208

Exercise: Rest day including snozing :)

I had a good day yesterday. Good food and feeling ok mentally. I had my appraisal (spell check) at work and they are really happy with me. They said that i have slotted in brilliantly :) Also, Steve said that he can see 'untapped talent' in me, he siaid he couldn't put his finger on what it was but he said it was creative. He asked what i enjoyed doing and i said about photography and my pathetic attempt at trying to write (which i haven't done for bloody ages) and he beamed and said that i really should just go for it if i enjoy it. Bless him :)

I'm off to the gym in a bit. Not sure how long i am going to run but i am going to aim for an hour doing the random setting. but might have a go on the cross trainer and bike.

Ruthie I'm the kinda person who would just ignore what the trainer said. If i was told not to run and do other stuff it would really piss me off, i love running :) (still can't believe that those words come out of my mouth......I LOVE RUNNING!!! :) ) Even when my fat arse breaks the treadmill :eek: I had that split second thought when i was on it last week, when it started making a funny noise, of 'oh fuck, i'm too heavy for it' then thought 'oh yeah, i've lost loads of weight!!' It really is weird that i still forget that i'm not that big anymore :smilielol5:

Ava OMG :blush5: :blush5: :blush5: :blush5: You really did make me blush and actually say out loud 'really?' Such lovely words. I still don't get that i inspire others. I kinda see my writing on here as therapy and i just write what's going on in my head...........And i am embarassed with how it can go from utter childish joy one day to the depths of depression the next.
Thank you so so much for such lovely words, you're lovely :grouphug:
 
We are all just a lovely bunch here, I think :)


Isn't it amazing what positive encouragement at work can do for your mindset? I find that it my favorite kind of praise to get...from my boss and co-workers! It makes all your hard work extremely worth it. Oh, and I totally agree with him...go for it! I bet you would be wonderfully surprised by yourself.


Rest days are good. I have taken a few too many lately :blush5: I think my one "rest day" turned into a rest week...lol....It is encouraging to see someone incorporate one the right way and then get right back in the game, so thank you for that.


Have a wonderful day, dear!


~Ava
 
AYou need to do some writing! I love reading your posts :) You do all that stuff for the theatre as well, I agree, you have got untapped creativity!

Another good day, your going to have a nice loss this week :)

I wish I could just ignore him, but I'm too scared dammit, to scared. Probably should tho cos.... 1. He is slightly overweight himself 2. He said that I shouldn't have apple on porridge in the mornings because it will hinder weight loss (!) 3. He didn't show me how to use any of the other machines, only the stepper and cross trainer. It wasn't a very good induction at at... Oh yes, he also sad "Don't do sit-ups, they will just add inches to your waistline, and you won't be able to see the increased muscle definition because of the fat." So yup, sit ups make you fat, apples make you fat, and the running machine won't help you lose weight lol. I actually came home from my induction FUMING!!!!!!

Have made a pact with myself to never have more than one rest day in a row Ava.... Even if its one day on, one day off its still three workouts a week. I usually do two days on one day off though, its so easy to break out of the habit, I've done it time and time again in the past.

It doesn't matter if you have ups and downs, its normal and nothing to be ashamed of! The most important thing is sharing all your feelings. A few days ago I put spyware on the computer as the bf had just topless pictures with him stroking his tummy on the computer.... I was worried he had joined a casual sex website again. What I found he was messaging to people cracked me up so much.... He has been going to the gym and getting bigger, but he was totally lying to this guy saying that he ate 6 body building type meals a day, and that the only carbs he ate were new potatoes, when the only change he has actually made is eating more fruit. It bloody pissed me off. Anyway, that's probably irrelevant, but I just couldn't understand it- why not tell people your ups and downs... So much better than pretending everything is perfect all the time.
 
AHi all

I had a bad day yesterday afternoon/evening :( Mark and Jack went out as soon as they got home from work/school so I was home alone and I was weak!!!! BUT it is over and I'm doing good today :) I am quite impressed with how I coped with yesterday's semi fail (I had about 1800 cals) and was straight back on it. It involved tiger bread and I threw three quarters of the loaf in the bin so I wouldn't eat any more!!!!! Jack wasn't too impressed when they came home from drama and he wanted some, hey ho! I think there wouldn't have been any left if I hadn't thrown it away anyway lol.

I'm giving blood tonight straight from work. A lot of the time I feel totally fine afterwards but sometimes I feel proper rubbish so if I don't get on tonight to post my diary I will catch up tomorrow.

I'm at work at the moment......there is no dentist in and there is 2 of us on reception with nothing to do..........soooooooo bored!!

Love and hugs.

Xx
 
Ah! I love that even though you had a hard day you are able to move past it and get on with things. Reading your experience going through that helps me keep in mind that all progress is not thrown away from one rough day. Thanks for the inspiration :) :) Hope giving blood goes alright!!! Have a great rest of your day :)
 
A:iagree:

1800 calories isn't bad at all... Don't worry!

NO MORE BREAD THO!!!!!! I mean it... buy some sweaty mouldy value bread :) Not nice ones.

I have never given blood, I am a terrible person! Think I will look into it now tho... as its a brilliant thing to do. If nobody did it then so many people would die needlessly each year.
 
Hey Kate! Glad to see your "semi-fail" ended well and you're "back on track". I'm going to the US for a week, so I won't be around much...just know I'm thinking of you and knowing you are doing well! Good job on giving blood by the way!!


Sarah
 
Hi Kate. Hope you felt ok after giving blood. I used to feel funny after giving blood too, but I always make sure that I have eaten well beforehand now & always drink lots of fluid(not coffee) that day & now feel good every time. Do you drink much water? I notice that you don't input water into MFP. I find that starchy carbs are so moreish so steer pretty well clear of them. Eating gluten-free (wheat-free really) has taken away much of that carb craving thank goodness. It's also a good excuse to say no to cakes etc when I'm out. The occasional GF treat is good though. I don't miss that out-of-control bread craving/bloat one little bit! You should try to stop thinking of yourself failing, as eating under maintenance calories on any given day is by no means a failure. Please try to stop giving yourself such a hard time my lovely. I think feeling out of control when you're alone may have been the cause of that, but you did bin the rest. Don't forget that. Try going gluten-free for a while & see what happens. You won't be so tempted. Lots of love sweets, xoxo Cate
 
Hi Kate
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Bread is a bit of a menace for me as well. I looooooooooooove bread! I have some Italian loafs in my fridge actually as I type this. Nothing better than throwing a wad of it in a oven for a few minutes to get it nice and crispy, then lathering on butter, etc.. oy.


The temptation can be quite something, so I understand and empathize.


Though I'm proud of ya for not even wincing and getting right back on track afterward!
smile.gif
Good on ya!


Giving blood is so noble. I admit I haven't done anything like that for a while. I think the last time I did, my mother was still alive.


However, it might be a bit precarious. My friend, who is a nurse, took my blood pressure not too long ago and was kinda shocked. Apparently, I might as well be a zombie with the ridiculous number that came up. It was hovering under the 100's if I recall correctly. He seemed a bit alarmed, which I guess isn't good :(


I may need to increase some things in my diet!


If I were to give blood now, I'd probably need a platter of cookies, brownies, and a tall glass of chocolate milk by my side! tehe :p


That sounds pretty good right now actually
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Hope all is well with you right now, Kate, and have a good day tomorrow!
 
AHi all

Yesterday

Breakfast: 50g porridge
Lunch: Homemade butternut squash soup with 2 small slices of wholemeal bread, yoghurt and grapes
Dinner: Mulligatawny soup with 2 small slices of wholemeal toast
Snacks: 4 coffee's, 2 kiwi's, banana, granola bar. (buscuits when i gave blood but they dont count as they make you eat them cos you have just donated :) )
Total calories = 1265

Exercise: None

Managed a good food day :) and feeling much better mentally. I'm really trying to look at myself in comparison to how i use to look.
I did feel a bit rubbish when i got home from giving blood so just slobbed on the sofa like a good girl and watched TV.

Today

Breakfast: 50g porridge
Lunch: The last of the homemade soup with 2 small slices of wholemeal bread, yoghurt and grapes
Dinner: 3 small peices of breaded chicken, salad, coleslaw and cous cous
Snacks: 3 coffee's, 2 kiwi's and a granola bar
Total calories = 1229

Exercise: None

I've had a really good day mentally :) I stood in front of the mirror when i went to the toilet at work today and made myself look at my reflection in a positive way and had the thought 'yeah, i'm kinda happy with that' :) I'll get there, probably slowly but i'll get there :)

Oooooh It was Dan 'the feeder' s last day today and he brought a huge awesome looking, sticky chocolate cake in!!!!!! AND.......I didn't have any at all :hurray: :hurray: :hurray: I was really proud of that :)

Also when we went to tesco they had a shit load of cookies and pastries on stupid money offers again and we got some but mark had one in the car on the way home and i didnt have anything :)

It is Dan 'the feeder' leaving BBQ tomorrow night so there will be loads of food and drink :eek: I will try and be good but i am not going to stress it too much. I did think about not going because i didn't want to eat or drink but i realised that i can't hide away from everything because i am trying to lose weight. Everything in moderation huh!

I've also got a lot going on over the next month or so. Camping trips, trips to the beach etc I will do well if i manage to maintain lol.

I have got loads to do tonight so dont have time to reply personally but love you all, i'll try and reply tomorrow afternoon. Love to all :grouphug:
 
AJust remember that there are lots of skinny people who stay skinny over the summer, there is no reason why you can't :) (This coming from the woman who ate a box of chocs yesterday :eek: ) Maybe the lighter food will compensate for a few drinks. BBQ's aren't too bad, all the fat drips down and is sizzled. Just enjoy yourself, that's the main thing.

Dan "The Feeder" lol, you crack me up :D
 
Hey lovely, just stopping in to say hey. Seems like you're doing well! I'm back now so will try and catch up on your diary soon!!! <3
 
AHi All :)

Yesterday

The BBQ was great, we didn't leave until 1.30am!!!! I ate pretty well, not much at all but i did drink alot, probably about 2 bottles of wine!!!

Today

Breakfast: 4 small slices of wholemeal toast with light spread and jam
Lunch: Prawns mayo & lettuce wrap
Dinner: Vegetable crustless quiche, tiny peice of pork pie, salad, coleslaw and cous cous
Snacks: Coffee, granola bar & an oaty bar
Total calories = 1455

Exercise: 2 hours of gardening
Calories burnt = 584

I didn't go for my run this morning as i was very hung over and the weather was so so hot. We went straight to the allotment instead.
I had my period today and i feel rubbish, my stomach and legs really ache :(

We both snoozed on the sofa all afternoon.

Hopefully i'll feel better tomorrow and catch up with everything. I'm gonna curl up with some painkillers.
 
Hello, Kate! It's my first time onto your diary, and I've just read this page, but I can see that there's a whole novel's worth of great reading to come.
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Yes, for sure you are a brimming with creativity (and your work appraisal people sounds great, that they are encouraging you in it, not just looking at you with blinkered eyes, seeing only what the workplace can wring out of you).


Good for you, being a blood donor! (I am too, but due to bouts of malaria etc they'll only take my plasma, which makes me feel very second-rate, but there you go, it all helps). I'm very glad to hear that the biscuist they give you don't count! (Come to Australia, -- you could visit Cate, and the blood people here give you crackers and cheese as well - once upon a time you could have a beer as well, but they cut that out :biggrin: ).


I'm sorry you were feeling so seedy, and I hope that you're feeling better when you read this. :hug2:
 
AHi All :)

Breakfast: 2 wheetabix
Lunch: Vegetable crustless quiche with salad and coleslaw, yoghurt and grapes
Dinner: Jacket potato, veg quiche, salad and coleslaw
Snacks: 4 coffee's, granola bar, oaty bar and 2 kiwi's
Total calories = 1397

I've felt really fat and bloated today :( I think it's a combination of my period, drinking like a fish saturday night and the heat. The weather has gone from being bloody cold and raining all the time to baking hot!!!!!
Today at work has been busy and i didn't get chance to get to the gym afterwards cos i had to sort loads of stuff and get some food for tomorrows day at the beach with Jack and his friends. These next couple of weeks is really busy or i am away. It's nice having loads on and holidays coming up but i just don't seem to get time to do everything i need or want to do......like catch up with you guys. Hopefully i will get some time tomorrow.

Parsnip Heya. Cheers for stopping by and thank you so much for your lovely comments. :)
 
Hiya Hun, don't worry about catching up with us sweetie. You are a busy woman & we understand! Soon you will be on hol's? Nice. Time to catch up & take some time for yourself sweet pea. Lots and lots of love from me, xoxo Cate.
 
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