A new me! (hopefully, with some help)
- Thread starter katehunibun
- Start date
katehunibun
New member
AHi All 
Breakfast: 50g porridge & blueberries
2nd breakfast: 2 small slices of wholemeal toast with light spread and jam
Lunch: Ham, lettuce and coleslaw wholemeal sandwich and a packet of monster munch crisps
Dinner: Roast chicken, dry roast potato, brocolli & cauliflowr cheese, carrots, peas, stuffing and gravy
Snacks: 4 coffee's, a small friut cake and i'm going to have a magnum ice cream in a minute!!!
Total calories = 1530!!!!
Exercise: 10 min walk, 10km run!!!!! (did i mention that lol) and 60 min aerobics!!!
Calories burnt = 1325!!!!!
I am going to be in a whole world of pain tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!! Why oh why did i think it was a good idea to do an aerobic toneing class on the same day as a 10km run.......i'm bloody stupid, that's why!!
She was totally evil and worked us sooooooo hard this evening. We did about a gazillion crunches, shit loads of press ups (no Sarah, you wouldn't be proud, i did pathetic girly ones!) Bum exercises, squats, squats, squats and more bloody squats!!!! oh yeah and the arm exercise to the extent that my arm shakes when i try and drink tea!!!!! I keep trying to tell myself that it's all good but i know that i am gonna be hurting tomorrow. I don't think it's a good idea to go to the gym after work tomorrow lol, i think i'll wait till the weekend.
Had a nice day today. My first wednesday off in 3 weeks. Went for my 10km run this morning (i might have said that already lol) Met Bec's for coffee's, had an hour in bed snoozing listening to music (don't tell Mark lol) Made little fruit cakes in cases (rather than a big one) for the guys lunch boxes (i did have one but that will be it, no more). Then made a lovely roast dinner, went to be tortured at my class and now i am gonna curl up on the sofa with my ice cream and watch a film.
Sarah A SMALL....I know. I wore a pair this evening to class too and the wall in front of us is mirrored. I really can't bring myself to look at myself but i did catch a glimpse and i was like 'OMG' look how skinny my legs are, they don't touch each other!' and i didn't bulge out of the top of them, i can't get over how well they fit
Thank you soo much for your encouragment sweetie, you really do mean the world to me
Cate Yay
I am so blown away that i managed my run pretty easily. Jo, the owner came up and talked to me while i was running, i was about 45 mins thru and i could hold a conversation quite easily with her while i ran. I still can't get over the fact that i can run for such a long time. And SMALL, i know tee hee Loves ya
Love and hugs all
Breakfast: 50g porridge & blueberries
2nd breakfast: 2 small slices of wholemeal toast with light spread and jam
Lunch: Ham, lettuce and coleslaw wholemeal sandwich and a packet of monster munch crisps
Dinner: Roast chicken, dry roast potato, brocolli & cauliflowr cheese, carrots, peas, stuffing and gravy
Snacks: 4 coffee's, a small friut cake and i'm going to have a magnum ice cream in a minute!!!
Total calories = 1530!!!!
Exercise: 10 min walk, 10km run!!!!! (did i mention that lol) and 60 min aerobics!!!
Calories burnt = 1325!!!!!
I am going to be in a whole world of pain tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!! Why oh why did i think it was a good idea to do an aerobic toneing class on the same day as a 10km run.......i'm bloody stupid, that's why!!
She was totally evil and worked us sooooooo hard this evening. We did about a gazillion crunches, shit loads of press ups (no Sarah, you wouldn't be proud, i did pathetic girly ones!) Bum exercises, squats, squats, squats and more bloody squats!!!! oh yeah and the arm exercise to the extent that my arm shakes when i try and drink tea!!!!! I keep trying to tell myself that it's all good but i know that i am gonna be hurting tomorrow. I don't think it's a good idea to go to the gym after work tomorrow lol, i think i'll wait till the weekend.
Had a nice day today. My first wednesday off in 3 weeks. Went for my 10km run this morning (i might have said that already lol) Met Bec's for coffee's, had an hour in bed snoozing listening to music (don't tell Mark lol) Made little fruit cakes in cases (rather than a big one) for the guys lunch boxes (i did have one but that will be it, no more). Then made a lovely roast dinner, went to be tortured at my class and now i am gonna curl up on the sofa with my ice cream and watch a film.
Sarah A SMALL....I know. I wore a pair this evening to class too and the wall in front of us is mirrored. I really can't bring myself to look at myself but i did catch a glimpse and i was like 'OMG' look how skinny my legs are, they don't touch each other!' and i didn't bulge out of the top of them, i can't get over how well they fit
Thank you soo much for your encouragment sweetie, you really do mean the world to me
Cate Yay
I am so blown away that i managed my run pretty easily. Jo, the owner came up and talked to me while i was running, i was about 45 mins thru and i could hold a conversation quite easily with her while i ran. I still can't get over the fact that i can run for such a long time. And SMALL, i know tee hee Loves ya Love and hugs all
overtherainbow
New member
AHelllllloooooooooooo
Well bloody done! 10k?! JESUS! You are a lean keen running machine!!!! That is such a huge acheivement and you should be super proud of yourself, your fitness, and your general awesomeness
Just popping in to say hi! I can't come in completely though as my arse is too big to fit through the door lol.
I having been nosing in on you from time to time.... And I know that you sometimes get downhearted about not progressing as far as you hoped- But from where I'm standing you have done amazingly!!!!! You are size 12 for chrissakes woman!!!!!
Glad your settled into your new job and your hippaty-hoppity- happy
Well bloody done! 10k?! JESUS! You are a lean keen running machine!!!! That is such a huge acheivement and you should be super proud of yourself, your fitness, and your general awesomeness
Just popping in to say hi! I can't come in completely though as my arse is too big to fit through the door lol.
I having been nosing in on you from time to time.... And I know that you sometimes get downhearted about not progressing as far as you hoped- But from where I'm standing you have done amazingly!!!!! You are size 12 for chrissakes woman!!!!!
Glad your settled into your new job and your hippaty-hoppity- happy
jjjay
New member
Kate kate kate, so much to say CONGRATS on!! 10km - I remember how I felt when I ran 10k for the first time...its just...immense!!! Enjoy the feeling, enjoy the buzz and you have OFFICIALLY BEEN CERTIFIED RUNNY!!! -
The photo is beautiful. Interesting to hear your comments a little while ago about not feeling slim, just not feeling bulgy and fat. You may well have lost a load of weight, but the other big challenge is to lose your old perception of yourself and learn to love how you look and how you feel - I know you still have more lbs that you want to go, but you got to start rethinking now about your body image...so you are shaking it by the time you hit your target!!
Finally, I'm not saying anything other than SMALL>>>>>>SMALL!!!!!! Wow.
The photo is beautiful. Interesting to hear your comments a little while ago about not feeling slim, just not feeling bulgy and fat. You may well have lost a load of weight, but the other big challenge is to lose your old perception of yourself and learn to love how you look and how you feel - I know you still have more lbs that you want to go, but you got to start rethinking now about your body image...so you are shaking it by the time you hit your target!!
Finally, I'm not saying anything other than SMALL>>>>>>SMALL!!!!!! Wow.
katehunibun
New member
AHi All
Breakfast: 50g porridge & blueberries
Lunch: Chicken salad with coleslaw and graze box and a yoghurt
Dinner: Chicken salad with coleslaw and cous cous
Snacks: 3 coffee's, 2 kiwi's, pine apple and 2 graze snack boxes
Total calories = 1207
Exercise: Rest day!
I am in all kinds of aching I don't know what to complain about first so i won't whinge too much other than to say 'OMG it hurts my stomach to chough, sneeze and laugh'!!!!! And my IBS is playing up today too which hasn't helped. I am feeling rather sorry for myself and desperatly want chocolate to make it all better lol.
Breakfast: 50g porridge & blueberries
Lunch: Chicken salad with coleslaw and graze box and a yoghurt
Dinner: Chicken salad with coleslaw and cous cous
Snacks: 3 coffee's, 2 kiwi's, pine apple and 2 graze snack boxes
Total calories = 1207
Exercise: Rest day!
I am in all kinds of aching
I don't know what to complain about first so i won't whinge too much other than to say 'OMG it hurts my stomach to chough, sneeze and laugh'!!!!! And my IBS is playing up today too which hasn't helped. I am feeling rather sorry for myself and desperatly want chocolate to make it all better lol.
Cate
Long term member
Ooh- OUCH! Poor Kate! What an achievement though! 10km!! The toning class afterwards sounds like a bit too much on top of it, but I know that exhilarated feeling you get after exercise & how hard it is to stop, so I understand why you went. What upset your IBS do you think? Hope you feel better in a couple of days sweetie. I hate to think how much you'll hurt tomorrow! It was so awesome though- 10km!!! Gentle hug from me xoxo Cate
scbibhouse
New member
AHey ya Kate! I think chocolate is tempting the entire world right now! It has been so long since I've had any that I actually don't crave it any more, but I so remember the days of eating a small entire bag of Hershey kisses...and now, I'm maybe eating a small bag of cherries! What a difference our lives have taken since we started this journey! I'm sorry you are hurting from all that exercise...I agree with Cate...I'm betting the toning class is the culprit! I plan to run again this weekend..thanks to you!!
Have a great weekend Kateand continue to make those good choices!
Sarah
Have a great weekend Kateand continue to make those good choices!
Sarah
katehunibun
New member
AI had a really really bad food day yesterday and am disgusted with myself but more so with the thinking process that went with it.
I will come back later and explain all but right now I am going to go to the gym to try and undo some of the damage and 'think'. I need to straighten my head out.
Sorry I've been neglecting ya all.
Love and hugs Xxxxxx
I will come back later and explain all but right now I am going to go to the gym to try and undo some of the damage and 'think'. I need to straighten my head out.
Sorry I've been neglecting ya all.
Love and hugs Xxxxxx
scbibhouse
New member
Hey ya Kate...You might want to write down those thoughts and "thinking process" that went along with your bad choices...just to see it on paper may help you avoid it next time! Glad you got the exercise in and are getting back on track...emotional eating...what a mind game! Love ya and here's to some great choices today...today is what we have...we cannot change the past, only learn from it...write it down sweets and learn from it!! OK, enough of my bossy self there!!
Sarah
Sarah
katehunibun
New member
AHeya
Sarah sugested i write down what my thoughts and 'thinking process' down and seeing as i was gonna try and explain to you guys what led me to my fail yesterday, i thought i wouild write it down on here.
Please don't feel sorry for me, pity me, or shout at me for my self loathing rants. I hope you can laugh at me as i know i am totally irrational when i am like this I am not really depressed, i am fine, just a bloody head case
Right, here goes. Yesterday started as a normal day and mid morning Steve (the practice manager) said he was popping into town and did anyone want anything 'oooo, ooooh can you get me a bread roll' (i had soup for lunch and thought it would be nice to have a roll with it) 'what sort?' he asked and this is where it went wrong!!! 'Ummmmmm, oh just get a selection of 4 for a quid (£)' as i really wanted a fancy one. He came back with a bag of 4 delicious bread rolls, they are large, one was a chiabatta, one with pumpkin seed all over it, a wholemeal one and one that had onion and sundried tomato in it. OMG they looked amazing. I put them in my drawer and tried to decide which one to have with my lunch........I had eaten the tomato one by mid day I had the pumpkin one with my soup, yum yum!
I then had a moment where i was stood in the toilet and saw myself in the 3/4 length mirror in there and thought 'why not stop where you are, you are never going to manage to lose anymore weight' and i even thought 'who do you think you are thinking that you have a right to be proper slim!' And then went and ate the last 2 rolls, one after the other. I think i told myself that as an excuse to eat them. Then for the rest of the afternoon i was doubting myself and what i was doing. I had read a post that Jjjay had put on here saying that it was time for me to learn to lose the old perseption i have of myself and learn to love how i look and feel now and i realised that i genuinely don't think i will ever be able to do that....ever. I have always been fat....ALWAYS!!!! and i don't think i can think like a slim, fit person. Like i said earlier, please don't feel sorry for me. It's just who i am. I thought a lot about it last night along with eating cakes, chocolate biscuits, 2 chiabatta's with stuff in for dinner and i know i was punishing myself (please let me be making sence)
When i went to bed i still hadn't got my head round it all and i woke up this morning feeling really low, lost and above all, bloody angry. Should i stop where i am? Could i maintain? Hell, look at what you managed to shove in your face yesterday, of course you can't bloody maintain! Oh god, what is going on in this freaky head of mine?!?! I sat in the garden this morning with my morning coffee and cigarette and just stared into space. It was like i couldn't get my brain to produce a rational thought about it. Mark and Jack were going down the theatre for a few hours this morning so i decided to go to the gym and see if i could figue this out.
I came away from the gym in the same kind of mood as i arrived. I did do lots there and it felt good but it just felt flat again when i came home. I did figure a few things out.
1. I have an eating disorder. Food is reward, punishment, comfort, stress relief, rebelion etc etc. Everything in my day pretty much evolves around food. I think about what i can and can't eat, when i can eat etc etc pretty much all day when my brain is able to. I think the reason i did so well in the first few months of my weight loss was that my obsession became exercising. Maybe now that i can do that, quite easily, it's not something i think about. Maybe i should really change things, like really upping my speed, interval running etc.........I'll think on that. Any ideas?
2. i don't like myself. It's simple as that. From time to time it differs, sometimes i accept myself and other times i completely digust myself. This is completely a physical thing, does that make me vain? I think i am a nice person, caring and loving, putting everyone first but i think that i do that because i feel that i am beneath everyone (again, dont feel sorry, pity or shout i am fine, i'm just trying to be honest) I don't know how to change this feeling as i don't know why i feel like this. It's just me, who i am.
I said to Mark this morning that i felt like a huge great big fat failure and he said 'You are so not!, you had a bad day. One bad day is nothing, you know what you did and you are cracking straight back on it. You are not a failure!' Bless him
When i got to the gym I was talking to Shaun (who works there) and i said that i had had a failure and he said 'shut up you look great' I told him that i had eaten my body weight in bread the day before and he laughed and said that our bodies do that to us sometimes and it's it's way of getting what it need 'what half a ton of bread?' which made him laugh again. 'Don't stress it, you are gonna run it off now aint ya?'
Ok, rant over. I am still 'lost', that's the only way i can describe it, but i am just going to see how i do over the next few days. I am going to carry on. I am not giving up, i can't, all i know is diet or binge, there is no imbetween with me.
Today
Breakfast: 2 small slices of wholemeal toast with light spread and marmalade
Lunch: Ham, lettuce and coleslaw wholemeal sandwich with a bag of low cal crisps
Dinner: Quiche, oven chips, salad and coleslaw.
Snacks: 4 coffee's
Total calories = 1081
Exercise:
30 min run
20 min walk
200 reps on abs machine
3x12 fly peck
3x12 back extentions
3x12 chest press
3x12 inner thigh abductions
3x12 outer thigh abductions
An hours housework
Calories burnt = 887
I did good today Hopefully i feel better tomorrow
Sarah sugested i write down what my thoughts and 'thinking process' down and seeing as i was gonna try and explain to you guys what led me to my fail yesterday, i thought i wouild write it down on here.
Please don't feel sorry for me, pity me, or shout at me for my self loathing rants. I hope you can laugh at me as i know i am totally irrational when i am like this
I am not really depressed, i am fine, just a bloody head case Right, here goes. Yesterday started as a normal day and mid morning Steve (the practice manager) said he was popping into town and did anyone want anything 'oooo, ooooh can you get me a bread roll' (i had soup for lunch and thought it would be nice to have a roll with it) 'what sort?' he asked and this is where it went wrong!!! 'Ummmmmm, oh just get a selection of 4 for a quid (£)' as i really wanted a fancy one. He came back with a bag of 4 delicious bread rolls, they are large, one was a chiabatta, one with pumpkin seed all over it, a wholemeal one and one that had onion and sundried tomato in it. OMG they looked amazing. I put them in my drawer and tried to decide which one to have with my lunch........I had eaten the tomato one by mid day
I had the pumpkin one with my soup, yum yum! I then had a moment where i was stood in the toilet and saw myself in the 3/4 length mirror in there and thought 'why not stop where you are, you are never going to manage to lose anymore weight' and i even thought 'who do you think you are thinking that you have a right to be proper slim!' And then went and ate the last 2 rolls, one after the other. I think i told myself that as an excuse to eat them. Then for the rest of the afternoon i was doubting myself and what i was doing. I had read a post that Jjjay had put on here saying that it was time for me to learn to lose the old perseption i have of myself and learn to love how i look and feel now and i realised that i genuinely don't think i will ever be able to do that....ever. I have always been fat....ALWAYS!!!! and i don't think i can think like a slim, fit person. Like i said earlier, please don't feel sorry for me. It's just who i am. I thought a lot about it last night along with eating cakes, chocolate biscuits, 2 chiabatta's with stuff in for dinner and i know i was punishing myself (please let me be making sence)
When i went to bed i still hadn't got my head round it all and i woke up this morning feeling really low, lost and above all, bloody angry. Should i stop where i am? Could i maintain? Hell, look at what you managed to shove in your face yesterday, of course you can't bloody maintain! Oh god, what is going on in this freaky head of mine?!?! I sat in the garden this morning with my morning coffee and cigarette and just stared into space. It was like i couldn't get my brain to produce a rational thought about it. Mark and Jack were going down the theatre for a few hours this morning so i decided to go to the gym and see if i could figue this out.
I came away from the gym in the same kind of mood as i arrived. I did do lots there and it felt good but it just felt flat again when i came home. I did figure a few things out.
1. I have an eating disorder. Food is reward, punishment, comfort, stress relief, rebelion etc etc. Everything in my day pretty much evolves around food. I think about what i can and can't eat, when i can eat etc etc pretty much all day when my brain is able to. I think the reason i did so well in the first few months of my weight loss was that my obsession became exercising. Maybe now that i can do that, quite easily, it's not something i think about. Maybe i should really change things, like really upping my speed, interval running etc.........I'll think on that. Any ideas?
2. i don't like myself. It's simple as that. From time to time it differs, sometimes i accept myself and other times i completely digust myself. This is completely a physical thing, does that make me vain? I think i am a nice person, caring and loving, putting everyone first but i think that i do that because i feel that i am beneath everyone (again, dont feel sorry, pity or shout
i am fine, i'm just trying to be honest) I don't know how to change this feeling as i don't know why i feel like this. It's just me, who i am.I said to Mark this morning that i felt like a huge great big fat failure and he said 'You are so not!, you had a bad day. One bad day is nothing, you know what you did and you are cracking straight back on it. You are not a failure!' Bless him
When i got to the gym I was talking to Shaun (who works there) and i said that i had had a failure and he said 'shut up you look great' I told him that i had eaten my body weight in bread the day before and he laughed and said that our bodies do that to us sometimes and it's it's way of getting what it need 'what half a ton of bread?' which made him laugh again. 'Don't stress it, you are gonna run it off now aint ya?'
Ok, rant over. I am still 'lost', that's the only way i can describe it, but i am just going to see how i do over the next few days. I am going to carry on. I am not giving up, i can't, all i know is diet or binge, there is no imbetween with me.
Today
Breakfast: 2 small slices of wholemeal toast with light spread and marmalade
Lunch: Ham, lettuce and coleslaw wholemeal sandwich with a bag of low cal crisps
Dinner: Quiche, oven chips, salad and coleslaw.
Snacks: 4 coffee's
Total calories = 1081
Exercise:
30 min run
20 min walk
200 reps on abs machine
3x12 fly peck
3x12 back extentions
3x12 chest press
3x12 inner thigh abductions
3x12 outer thigh abductions
An hours housework
Calories burnt = 887
I did good today
Hopefully i feel better tomorrow
overtherainbow
New member
ADon't beat yourself up bout this, please. If Steve hadn't bought you such lovely rolls, and they were all plain and boring ones, I bet you wouldn't have eaten three of them. And you didn't just eat them without thinking.... You did think about it, you looked at yourself in the mirror and acknowledged you were making the wrong choice.... You felt bad about eating them. And that's good! You weren't just mindlessly stuffing your face without thinking about it.
I know exactly how you feel about not being pretty enough EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE!!!!!.... It angers me and saddens me how superficial people are, apparently even parents let less good looking kiddies run further away from them on the street than good looking ones. I hate the way I look, everything about myself. I have 10 different things I want done to make my face look better, and that is just my face and after all that I will still have tiny eyes and a head shaped like a rugby ball. I know that whatever I say it won't make you feel any better, and you won't believe it.... I just really hope that one day soon you will accept yourself just the way you are. You have amazing friends and family who accept you and love you the way you are... Please just try and be a bit kinder to yourself. You are your own worst enemy. I am aware that I a being a total hypocrite by the way.... But its different when its someone else
Its going to take some time for your mind to catch up with your body.. But it will. I know that sometimes when people get a great new job they can't quite get in the right head space about it and they don't feel worthy, almost like a fraud, and I reckon its the same thing with you and your lovely new body. It will happen sometime... And when it does you will be joining the people who say they could never imagine you overweight. Your new body will become normal, and the old you will seem like someone else. x
I know exactly how you feel about not being pretty enough EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE!!!!!.... It angers me and saddens me how superficial people are, apparently even parents let less good looking kiddies run further away from them on the street than good looking ones. I hate the way I look, everything about myself. I have 10 different things I want done to make my face look better, and that is just my face and after all that I will still have tiny eyes and a head shaped like a rugby ball. I know that whatever I say it won't make you feel any better, and you won't believe it.... I just really hope that one day soon you will accept yourself just the way you are. You have amazing friends and family who accept you and love you the way you are... Please just try and be a bit kinder to yourself. You are your own worst enemy. I am aware that I a being a total hypocrite by the way.... But its different when its someone else
Its going to take some time for your mind to catch up with your body.. But it will. I know that sometimes when people get a great new job they can't quite get in the right head space about it and they don't feel worthy, almost like a fraud, and I reckon its the same thing with you and your lovely new body. It will happen sometime... And when it does you will be joining the people who say they could never imagine you overweight. Your new body will become normal, and the old you will seem like someone else. x
Irishprincess
New member
Loving the new profile pic giiiiiirl stunning xxx
stunning xxxAw Kate, sounds like you are in a bad headspace right now!! Why not pick something else to focus on health- wise instead- You are SO close to your goal right now, why don't you switch it up? Get a proper strength training routine and focus on that, building muscle and burning some fat and take some of the focus off weight and more changing your shape and getting stronger. Because you are near your goal as well, maintenance WILL be hard... You'll be doing all the work, but not having the satisfaction of losing weight and seeing that number change at the end of every week. Having fitness goals like a certain weight you want to lift, a certain distance you want to run in a period of time, can be SO motivating! Or even getting your BF% done and watching that drop because of it. Of course you CAN do all of these things while you lose your last few pounds, but you need to be thinking about afterward as well!
Does your gym offer free appraisals and workouts?? Usually you get one when you sign up and you get a new one every 6-8 weeks to check your progress and up the difficulty... Something I'd look in to! They can track your measurements and everything else for you too.
Does your gym offer free appraisals and workouts?? Usually you get one when you sign up and you get a new one every 6-8 weeks to check your progress and up the difficulty... Something I'd look in to! They can track your measurements and everything else for you too.
Cate
Long term member
Kate, I agree with everything Luzdafuzz said. Great advice!! You will get used to thinking of yourself as a slim person, but it takes quite a while. I know how you're feeling as, I too, have gone through exactly the same. It has taken me about 5 years!! I'm not yelling or lecturing sweet thing. I will always keep a limit on what I eat & that will be my "diet." We think the same & I think we are very similar. I can't say that i love myself either, but I do think that I am loving & caring & a good person & I think that you see yourself that way too. You are punishing yourself sweetie, for no reason. You'll come through this Kate. Life has been in turmoil for you & you have made many changes in the last year. There will always be setbacks & sometimes we cope with them easier than other times. We know the true Kate. You have told us the truth about yourself & we love you Kate. Sending you lots and lots of love & hugs & kisses sweetie xoxo
scbibhouse
New member
Hey ya Kate, Thanks for sharing your thoughts about what accompanied your "food fail"...I can relate...food has, at times been my reward and my punishment..and I think that goes back to when I was a kid...cookies when I was "good", nothing when I was "bad"! Today, I take responsibility for this..I don't blame anyone...I am in complete control of what goes into my mouth! You may have been setting yourself up for this bread thing...by asking Steve to get the bread..not just 1...4! If you're like me with bread (or sweets), 1 is too many, and 4 is never enough and it starts our minds out to get us and start beating ourselves up (like what happened to you in the bathroom mirror). 
Here are some thoughts on things that might help you...it helped me just to make myself think about it! (see there you go again, helping others!!!
You might try some simple positive mantras...stick some yellow poste-it's on your mirror, inside your purse, inside your desk drawer..."I am becoming a beautiful fitter person". "The fitter thinner person inside is coming out" "The caterpillar is gone, I am now the butterfly...watch me fly"!
Sounds corny
, but it might just be the thing that keeps your sane for 1 day or even 1 hour!
Since you are working with a trainer anyway, ask him to set you up with a strength training routine and see if he can do a % bodyfat evaluation...if not, get one of the % bodyfat scales (I say that like I have one...I don't, but I have ordered one!). Try to focus on the positive side of the tremendous things you have accomplished...might also try to read some motivational books like 'Norman Vincent Peale's "The Power of Positive Thinking" This may help you in other areas of your life too!
You might also try to see what it takes to become a personal trainer..
.with your weightloss success story and ability to relate to people who looked like you when you started, I'm guessing you would do great...and it would keep you motivated to keep at it yourself! Just a thought...something else to do in your spare time?!!:biggrin:
Your brain is telling you you don't deserve to be beautiful...your body is telling you you are, we,the people on this forum are telling you you are beautiful...we, and your are right!! You are beautiful! Bottomline is you have done an awesome job of losing the weight!
Luzdafuzz is so right...she has been there done that! It will be hard to get your last 9 pounds off to get to your goal. (Hell it's hard for me to get my last 35 pounds off!!)
Luzdafuzz is telling you straight...you're not getting the immediate feedback of looser pants and tops these days and you're focused on the scale. I think she has excellent advice...focus on % bodyfat and change your game to do strength training to build some muscle mass...muscle is what is burns fat and we all will naturally lose muscle mass as we age...unless we build it up! Focus on you and not "the number"! Easier said than done I know...honestly not sure I can do it either, but I know it's the right thing to do!
I'm a firm believer in the saying "You are what you think about" Kate... we all know you as an awesome role model and someone who inspires us...and I really meant what I said in my diary...you are very inspiring for me...I wouldn't have been running today without your encouragement and proving to me I can do it!
Sorry to have hijacked your diary today dear...just had to share my thoughts though...take what you like and leave the rest!
Love ya,
Sarah
Here are some thoughts on things that might help you...it helped me just to make myself think about it! (see there you go again, helping others!!!
You might try some simple positive mantras...stick some yellow poste-it's on your mirror, inside your purse, inside your desk drawer..."I am becoming a beautiful fitter person". "The fitter thinner person inside is coming out" "The caterpillar is gone, I am now the butterfly...watch me fly"!
Sounds corny
, but it might just be the thing that keeps your sane for 1 day or even 1 hour! Since you are working with a trainer anyway, ask him to set you up with a strength training routine and see if he can do a % bodyfat evaluation...if not, get one of the % bodyfat scales (I say that like I have one...I don't, but I have ordered one!). Try to focus on the positive side of the tremendous things you have accomplished...might also try to read some motivational books like 'Norman Vincent Peale's "The Power of Positive Thinking" This may help you in other areas of your life too!
You might also try to see what it takes to become a personal trainer..
.with your weightloss success story and ability to relate to people who looked like you when you started, I'm guessing you would do great...and it would keep you motivated to keep at it yourself! Just a thought...something else to do in your spare time?!!:biggrin:Your brain is telling you you don't deserve to be beautiful...your body is telling you you are, we,the people on this forum are telling you you are beautiful...we, and your are right!! You are beautiful! Bottomline is you have done an awesome job of losing the weight!
Luzdafuzz is so right...she has been there done that! It will be hard to get your last 9 pounds off to get to your goal. (Hell it's hard for me to get my last 35 pounds off!!)
Luzdafuzz is telling you straight...you're not getting the immediate feedback of looser pants and tops these days and you're focused on the scale. I think she has excellent advice...focus on % bodyfat and change your game to do strength training to build some muscle mass...muscle is what is burns fat and we all will naturally lose muscle mass as we age...unless we build it up! Focus on you and not "the number"! Easier said than done I know...honestly not sure I can do it either, but I know it's the right thing to do!
I'm a firm believer in the saying "You are what you think about" Kate... we all know you as an awesome role model and someone who inspires us...and I really meant what I said in my diary...you are very inspiring for me...I wouldn't have been running today without your encouragement and proving to me I can do it!
Sorry to have hijacked your diary today dear...just had to share my thoughts though...take what you like and leave the rest!
Love ya,
Sarah
katehunibun
New member
AHeya
Breakfast: 2 small slices of wholemeal toast with light spread and marmalade
2nd Breakfast: 2 small slices of wholemeal toast with light spread and a thin slice of cheese
Lunch: Cous cous, salad and coleslaw
Dinner: Pork loin, carrots, peas, cauliflower cheese and gravy
Snacks: 3 coffee's and a danish cinnamon whirl!
Total calories = 1291
Exercise:
8km run
90 mins gardening
Calories burnt = 1117
I have had a better day mentally today
Today was my weigh day and i just didn't feel it this morning so left it for this week. My bathroom scales say that i'm 1lb up (better than the 10lb up i was when i weighed on friday evening after my binge ) but i didn't want to officially piss myself off lol
I still felt pathetic when i woke up this morning but going on my run with Jane was good for me. Not just the run but the therapy we always manage to give each other. She is struggling at the moment too. I felt much better after talking to her. We jokingly say that our sunday morning run is 'coffee & therapy' we just happen to be running instead of sat drinking coffee, it is definitely therapy.
Had a bath when i got back (after my second breakfast, of course ) to ease my aching legs, i have run for the last 3 days straight!!!! Actually, i have run 33km since last sunday!!!!! WOW!!!
We then went to the allotment and dug up potatoes, pulled up garlic and onions then picked raspberries and goosberries and pulled up rhubarb.
We stopped at the supermarket on the way home to get some preserving sugar to make jam and they had loads of cakes and doughnuts etc in the reduced section!!!! NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Mark...... please don't do this to me!!!!! But to be honest they were such bargins that i couldn't say no. We bought 2 bags of those massive 350 cal each cookies (5 in a bag) for 38pence per bag (normally £1.50). 2 packets of cinnamon danish swirls (2 per pack) for 20pence per pack (normally £1.50), a pack of 4 luxuary scones that was 23pence per pack (normally £1.75), a box of mini ring doughnuts for 20pence (normally £1.50) a cherry pie and a rhubarb pie for 20pence each (normally £1.45 each) such bargins huh!!!! I was kinda scared to have these things in the house so i decided to get something for myself and i got a punnet of grapes and some natural yoghurt
We came home and unpacked the shopping and made a coffee. I took a look on MFP to see if the danishes were in there and they were.....270 calories! so i put everything i was going to be having for dinner in MFP and checked out what calories that took me to and decided to sit in the garden with Mark and have a coffee and danish Sarah you were in my thoughts while i ate it (and i actually enjoyed every last little bit of it, i ate it slowly instead of shoveling it in to get rid of it) i had made a choice and to me it was a good choice. I had decided to have ONE of them. I realised that i need to eat normal things and if i have the calories then i am not doing anything wrong by having it Sorry if i sound weird by saying this but that was a really big step for me. It was my choice and it was controlled
I know that there are cookies and more danishes but i have had mine so i'm cool with them being in the house. Mark and Jack with scoff them soon enough (actually i think Jack has alreadt troughed the mini doughnuts lol) and i have my grapes and natural yoghurt if i fancy something this week while they are eating cookies I will not have any of them.......So not worth it.
I made raspberry jam and rhubarb and goosberry jam and some spicy butternut squash soup too. I made the soup to have for lunch at work with no bloody bread roll lol I am going to take 2 slices of my pathetic low calorie bread and have that. I have most definitely learnt my lesson there. I am going to ask Steve to not even ask me whenever he goes into town lol. It's weird, when he does a 'bun run' on a thursday i never ask for a cake, i always have a banana or an orange.
I am so sorry for being so pathetic yesterday and your kind words really picked me up when i read them. You are all such a lovely bunch of people, you really are. I was kinda lost for words
Ruthie Firstly YAY!!!! That bonkers Londoner is back. Missed ya girly
Thank you so much You are so right about the bread rolls. I am a bread snob and would have only had one if they were boring ones. I know i shouldn't have asked him to get any, let alone 4 but i can't resist a bargin (38p each or 4 for a £1) lol see above lol. It is something i will learn from and never do again. I think i was kinda building up to a 'crash' mentally really and that was just the little thing that did it. If i had been in a better headspace i would have been like 'guess what this little piggy ate today' and laughed about it.
I hope one day that i will be happy with my body, who knows maybe i'll get there. I just thought when i lost loads of weight i would like it but i still don't. Hey ho.
Irish Aaawww thank you sweetie
Lucy Hello my lovely. I really have neglected your diary and i am really sorry. I will catch up this week Thank you so much for your advice. I will speak to them at the gym and see what they can sort for me
Cate Hey Mom 5 years shit...i am being impatient ain't i!!!!! 
Ok, you will just have to put up with my occasional meltdowns for a bit then Knowing that with time (a lot of it!!) i will get use to it makes me feel better. Thank you so much for your love and support. Loves ya
Sarah Aww sweetie. Thank you so much for taking the time to write so much Were you proud of my 'danish moment'? I hope so. It was you saying 'make good choices' that made me realise that i have to learn to not see food as evil, i just need to keep the calories down and make the right choices . If i fancy something like that then i can have it....within reason!!!!
[COLOR=FF00AA]The catterpillar is gone......i am a butterfly......watch me fly[/COLOR] I am going to use that one, i love it!!!!
I will try and be............no, i WILL be more positive and try and embrace what i have acheived. I will see this weekend as a mental blip.
Thanks again you are awesome!!
Breakfast: 2 small slices of wholemeal toast with light spread and marmalade
2nd Breakfast: 2 small slices of wholemeal toast with light spread and a thin slice of cheese
Lunch: Cous cous, salad and coleslaw
Dinner: Pork loin, carrots, peas, cauliflower cheese and gravy
Snacks: 3 coffee's and a danish cinnamon whirl!
Total calories = 1291
Exercise:
8km run
90 mins gardening
Calories burnt = 1117
I have had a better day mentally today
Today was my weigh day and i just didn't feel it this morning so left it for this week. My bathroom scales say that i'm 1lb up (better than the 10lb up i was when i weighed on friday evening after my binge
) but i didn't want to officially piss myself off lolI still felt pathetic when i woke up this morning but going on my run with Jane was good for me. Not just the run but the therapy we always manage to give each other. She is struggling at the moment too. I felt much better after talking to her. We jokingly say that our sunday morning run is 'coffee & therapy' we just happen to be running instead of sat drinking coffee, it is definitely therapy.
Had a bath when i got back (after my second breakfast, of course
) to ease my aching legs, i have run for the last 3 days straight!!!! Actually, i have run 33km since last sunday!!!!! WOW!!! We then went to the allotment and dug up potatoes, pulled up garlic and onions then picked raspberries and goosberries and pulled up rhubarb.
We stopped at the supermarket on the way home to get some preserving sugar to make jam and they had loads of cakes and doughnuts etc in the reduced section!!!! NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Mark...... please don't do this to me!!!!! But to be honest they were such bargins that i couldn't say no. We bought 2 bags of those massive 350 cal each cookies (5 in a bag) for 38pence per bag (normally £1.50). 2 packets of cinnamon danish swirls (2 per pack) for 20pence per pack (normally £1.50), a pack of 4 luxuary scones that was 23pence per pack (normally £1.75), a box of mini ring doughnuts for 20pence (normally £1.50) a cherry pie and a rhubarb pie for 20pence each (normally £1.45 each) such bargins huh!!!! I was kinda scared to have these things in the house so i decided to get something for myself and i got a punnet of grapes and some natural yoghurt
We came home and unpacked the shopping and made a coffee. I took a look on MFP to see if the danishes were in there and they were.....270 calories! so i put everything i was going to be having for dinner in MFP and checked out what calories that took me to and decided to sit in the garden with Mark and have a coffee and danish
Sarah you were in my thoughts while i ate it (and i actually enjoyed every last little bit of it, i ate it slowly instead of shoveling it in to get rid of it) i had made a choice and to me it was a good choice. I had decided to have ONE of them. I realised that i need to eat normal things and if i have the calories then i am not doing anything wrong by having it Sorry if i sound weird by saying this but that was a really big step for me. It was my choice and it was controlled I know that there are cookies and more danishes but i have had mine so i'm cool with them being in the house. Mark and Jack with scoff them soon enough (actually i think Jack has alreadt troughed the mini doughnuts lol) and i have my grapes and natural yoghurt if i fancy something this week while they are eating cookies
I will not have any of them.......So not worth it.I made raspberry jam and rhubarb and goosberry jam and some spicy butternut squash soup too. I made the soup to have for lunch at work with no bloody bread roll lol I am going to take 2 slices of my pathetic low calorie bread and have that. I have most definitely learnt my lesson there. I am going to ask Steve to not even ask me whenever he goes into town lol. It's weird, when he does a 'bun run' on a thursday i never ask for a cake, i always have a banana or an orange.
I am so sorry for being so pathetic yesterday and your kind words really picked me up when i read them. You are all such a lovely bunch of people, you really are. I was kinda lost for words
Ruthie Firstly
YAY!!!! That bonkers Londoner is back. Missed ya girly Thank you so much
You are so right about the bread rolls. I am a bread snob and would have only had one if they were boring ones. I know i shouldn't have asked him to get any, let alone 4 but i can't resist a bargin (38p each or 4 for a £1) lol see above lol. It is something i will learn from and never do again. I think i was kinda building up to a 'crash' mentally really and that was just the little thing that did it. If i had been in a better headspace i would have been like 'guess what this little piggy ate today' and laughed about it. I hope one day that i will be happy with my body, who knows maybe i'll get there. I just thought when i lost loads of weight i would like it but i still don't. Hey ho.
Irish Aaawww thank you sweetie
Lucy Hello my lovely. I really have neglected your diary and i am really sorry. I will catch up this week
Thank you so much for your advice. I will speak to them at the gym and see what they can sort for me Cate Hey Mom
5 years shit...i am being impatient ain't i!!!!! Ok, you will just have to put up with my occasional meltdowns for a bit then Knowing that with time (a lot of it!!) i will get use to it makes me feel better. Thank you so much for your love and support. Loves ya Sarah Aww sweetie. Thank you so much for taking the time to write so much
Were you proud of my 'danish moment'? I hope so. It was you saying 'make good choices' that made me realise that i have to learn to not see food as evil, i just need to keep the calories down and make the right choices . If i fancy something like that then i can have it....within reason!!!![COLOR=FF00AA]The catterpillar is gone......i am a butterfly......watch me fly[/COLOR] I am going to use that one, i love it!!!!
I will try and be............no, i WILL be more positive and try and embrace what i have acheived. I will see this weekend as a mental blip.
Thanks again
you are awesome!!
overtherainbow
New member
AOoooh, I never find bargains like that any more! There is no way I could have all that in the house tho, it would drive me barmy with food lust.
Glad your coffee and therapy helped Well done on another good day
Butternut squash soup is beautiful.
Glad your coffee and therapy helped
Well done on another good day Butternut squash soup is beautiful.
noparsnips
New member
Fantastic, re deciding to have the danish, and fitting it into a planned day's eating, and enjoying every single bit of it!!! Yes, yes, yes... food is for enjoying, not for covertly stuffing into oursleves as if we're ashamed of it, and not enjoying it at all. I think this is blinking brilliant!
and re the soup -- I make one with cummin seeds, pumpkin (and onions etc) and cummin, and then zapped up in the blender. very easy and very good.
and re the soup -- I make one with cummin seeds, pumpkin (and onions etc) and cummin, and then zapped up in the blender. very easy and very good.
katehunibun
New member
AHi all
Breakfast: 50g porridge with home made rhubarb and goosberry jam (pink porridge )
Lunch: Home made butternut sqush soup with 2 rice cakes, yoghurt and grapes
Dinner: Pork loin with cous cous, salad and coleslaw
Snacks: 4 coffee's, pineapple, 3 kiwi's, rice cake and a banana
Total calories = 1237
Exercise: 20 mins cross trainer, 20 min run and 10 min walk
Calories burnt = 737
I've had a much better day mentally Ya know what, i think it was deciding to have that danish yesterday evening and eating it 'controlled' that made me turn the corner. How weird is that, bread freaks me out and tips me into the depths of dispair and a freaking cake makes me realise what is going wrong mentally!! . I realised that i need to be in control to keep focused. The problems i have is when i lose control, i feel worse about myself and i let everything kinda get away from me. So i will work on 'control' I know being a control freak is not really a good thing but i really need it right now to keep me focused and motivated.
In my old job i had my own surgery which i use to be OCD about with keeping everything in order etc. I don't have that any more so maybe that has contributed to my downfall and the fact that it's still kinda new. Sometimes it feels like i have been there for ages but other times i really do still feel like the newbie.
I had a lovely day at work today. The hygienist i use to work with on a monday (not Rachel) is now on maternity leave and a lady called Karen started cover today. She is really lovely and we got on great straight away we had a really good laugh today Sharon was nice but i really clicked with Karen. Only down side is she makes cakes and bloody awesome ones by the sounds of it....And she brings them into work. She has covered Sharons maternity before and would bring in cakes every bloody week!!!! One of the other nurses came into the surgery today complaining that she hadn't brought any this week!!! I have told her that under any circumstances is she to let me have ANY!!!!
I have made decisions today. Firstly was regarding food......Everything that goes into my mouth has to be accounted for and eaten in a controlled way. If i am going to shovel it in then i am to not eat it. I need to make myself stop and think, look up the calories etc before i eat it.
Secondly i am going to shake things up with my running. I use to do the 'random' setting on the treadmill which is a program that gives you inclines along the way. I have no idea why i stopped using it but today i decided that this week i will do it on level one, which gives me slight inclines and each week up it by 1 and then i will be able to eventually go running around the town with out dying. Where i live is really hilly. I would love to be able to just go for a run and not worry about where beacuse it's too hard.
I am looking forward to this challenge I did level one today but only had time to do 20 mins as i had to get home. The gym was really busy when i got there and there wasn't a free treadmill so i did 20 mins on the cross trainer while i waited for one (actually, this will make you laugh.......One of the treadmills is 'out of order' there are only 4. Anyway, while i was doing my 10km run last wednesday i thought the treadmill i was using was starting to make a funny noise and i said to Jo about it.........It's the one that's now out of order!!! I think i was the one that broke it Me and my fat arse huh )
Oooooooooh, regarding all the goodies that we bought yesterday.......Well, i have had none (cue smug mode ) Yay!
Ruthie We hardly ever get bargins like that, hence buying such a rediculous amount of them lol. I am seeing it as a challenge having them here. I know i wont eat any, i am in control again (i keep telling myself that )
My soup was just scrummy and i didn't have any bread at all with it, i had rice cakes and they went really nice with it, i even dunked them and that was yummy too
Parsnips Heya, thanks for stopping by my totally crazy woman diary You are totally right about the danish. Actually enjoying it made such a difference. Things like that are supposed to be enjoyed not rammed in as quickly as i can (which is what i have been doing lately) in some kind of stupid attempt to make it have not happened. It's eating for all the wrong reasons and that is what i need to change AND i am going to try my hardest to get this part of my eating iradicated. Control freak Kate has landed
Oooooh, cummin! We have cummin seeds and ground cummin and i have never know what to do with them but will definitely try that next time. I put chilli flakes in this one. I love it, it's got a bit of a kick lol. Thanks again for stopping by
Breakfast: 50g porridge with home made rhubarb and goosberry jam (pink porridge
)Lunch: Home made butternut sqush soup with 2 rice cakes, yoghurt and grapes
Dinner: Pork loin with cous cous, salad and coleslaw
Snacks: 4 coffee's, pineapple, 3 kiwi's, rice cake and a banana
Total calories = 1237
Exercise: 20 mins cross trainer, 20 min run and 10 min walk
Calories burnt = 737
I've had a much better day mentally
Ya know what, i think it was deciding to have that danish yesterday evening and eating it 'controlled' that made me turn the corner. How weird is that, bread freaks me out and tips me into the depths of dispair and a freaking cake makes me realise what is going wrong mentally!! . I realised that i need to be in control to keep focused. The problems i have is when i lose control, i feel worse about myself and i let everything kinda get away from me. So i will work on 'control' I know being a control freak is not really a good thing but i really need it right now to keep me focused and motivated. In my old job i had my own surgery which i use to be OCD about with keeping everything in order etc. I don't have that any more so maybe that has contributed to my downfall and the fact that it's still kinda new. Sometimes it feels like i have been there for ages but other times i really do still feel like the newbie.
I had a lovely day at work today. The hygienist i use to work with on a monday (not Rachel) is now on maternity leave and a lady called Karen started cover today. She is really lovely and we got on great straight away
we had a really good laugh today Sharon was nice but i really clicked with Karen. Only down side is she makes cakes and bloody awesome ones by the sounds of it....And she brings them into work. She has covered Sharons maternity before and would bring in cakes every bloody week!!!! One of the other nurses came into the surgery today complaining that she hadn't brought any this week!!! I have told her that under any circumstances is she to let me have ANY!!!!I have made decisions today. Firstly was regarding food......Everything that goes into my mouth has to be accounted for and eaten in a controlled way. If i am going to shovel it in then i am to not eat it. I need to make myself stop and think, look up the calories etc before i eat it.
Secondly i am going to shake things up with my running. I use to do the 'random' setting on the treadmill which is a program that gives you inclines along the way. I have no idea why i stopped using it but today i decided that this week i will do it on level one, which gives me slight inclines and each week up it by 1 and then i will be able to eventually go running around the town with out dying. Where i live is really hilly. I would love to be able to just go for a run and not worry about where beacuse it's too hard.
I am looking forward to this challenge
I did level one today but only had time to do 20 mins as i had to get home. The gym was really busy when i got there and there wasn't a free treadmill so i did 20 mins on the cross trainer while i waited for one (actually, this will make you laugh.......One of the treadmills is 'out of order' there are only 4. Anyway, while i was doing my 10km run last wednesday i thought the treadmill i was using was starting to make a funny noise and i said to Jo about it.........It's the one that's now out of order!!! I think i was the one that broke it Me and my fat arse huh )Oooooooooh, regarding all the goodies that we bought yesterday.......Well, i have had none (cue smug mode
) Yay! Ruthie We hardly ever get bargins like that, hence buying such a rediculous amount of them lol. I am seeing it as a challenge having them here. I know i wont eat any, i am in control again (i keep telling myself that
) My soup was just scrummy and i didn't have any bread at all with it, i had rice cakes and they went really nice with it, i even dunked them and that was yummy too
Parsnips Heya, thanks for stopping by my totally crazy woman diary
You are totally right about the danish. Actually enjoying it made such a difference. Things like that are supposed to be enjoyed not rammed in as quickly as i can (which is what i have been doing lately) in some kind of stupid attempt to make it have not happened. It's eating for all the wrong reasons and that is what i need to change AND i am going to try my hardest to get this part of my eating iradicated. Control freak Kate has landed Oooooh, cummin! We have cummin seeds and ground cummin and i have never know what to do with them but will definitely try that next time. I put chilli flakes in this one. I love it, it's got a bit of a kick lol. Thanks again for stopping by
overtherainbow
New member
AYEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAA!
Stoopid fabulous cake ladies.... why do they always emerge in times of dieting?!
I really want to go running at the gym, but the personal trainer guy said that I shouldn't go on the treadmill, I should focus on building muscle on the cross trainer.... I nodded, and agreed of course even though my brain was screaming "Noooo, nooooooo, but I hate cross trainers, I love treadmillssssss", and of course, he is in there every bloody time I go.... So I limit myself to a 4 or 5 minute fast run in the hope he won't catch me lol. And the random setting sounds so exciting! RANDOM!!!!!
You and your huge great big fat bum breaking the treadmill, I don't know Sigggghhhhhh.
I can't find the recipe I used for butternut squash soup, but It definitely had yellow mustard seeds in it. It really is beautiful. Rice cakes is a brill idea, I might try that as I hate soggy bread.
Stoopid fabulous cake ladies.... why do they always emerge in times of dieting?!
I really want to go running at the gym, but the personal trainer guy said that I shouldn't go on the treadmill, I should focus on building muscle on the cross trainer.... I nodded, and agreed of course even though my brain was screaming "Noooo, nooooooo, but I hate cross trainers, I love treadmillssssss", and of course, he is in there every bloody time I go.... So I limit myself to a 4 or 5 minute fast run in the hope he won't catch me lol. And the random setting sounds so exciting! RANDOM!!!!!
You and your huge great big fat bum breaking the treadmill, I don't know
Sigggghhhhhh.I can't find the recipe I used for butternut squash soup, but It definitely had yellow mustard seeds in it. It really is beautiful. Rice cakes is a brill idea, I might try that as I hate soggy bread.