Cate's Diary

Thank you LaMa. I know that you are right. I worry way too much about everyone else. You were spot on!
Thanks, LJ & Butterfly. I appreciate all of the support I get in here. It's my safe place.

I fasted yesterday & got through it fairly well with my FD soup & 2 boiled eggs. I did have some yoghurt when we got back from a meeting, but still came under 500 cals for the day. My Tuesday will be easier now. It's a full-on day when there's Vet's golf during the day & 8-ball & night & then I play golf tomorrow. Monday is a much better idea. So far, so good, this week. I also had a nice walk yesterday & did a little wood gathering with G.

I'm going to try to not thin about when this op is going to be as yesterday I got myself into a state. I listened to the voice memo of the visit to the Oncologist & I think it may not be for another couple of months. He said some conflicting things re dates & I think it's more in the hands of the hospital, than him. It stressed me out listening to it & I need to get it out of my head. There was about 2 minutes that I listened to over & over. I was so agitated! I must stop.
 
I know LaMa. I think I'm getting worse with not knowing what is happening & when. I have always liked to know "what the plan is". Knowing that I really have no control over what's happening is doing my head in. I am not functioning as I should & would love to just tune out to the world(except for here).

I had another massage today & am booked in again in a fortnight's time. She said a month. I decided on a fortnight. I'm not going back to the crunching chiropractor. I am going to make an appointment with the nice woman doctor very soon. I am aching from head to toe.
OK. I followed my own advice, for a change & am booked in for next Tuesday! I had better take a list.

G is playing in an 8-ball final tonight & as much as I would love to stay home I will go & support him. At least I don't have to drive as we are being picked up. I had to drive G's old flat tray Ute around today. It's like a Mac truck & is manual & hard to handle & long......& I hate driving it. I told him I shouldn't as I think I am likely to crash it. My car was being serviced. It's a little, auto Kia Rio. Nothing fancy, that's for sure, but very easy to drive.

I had better go do some stuff xo
 
Oh, LaMa! I'm not sure if you know how close you get to just how I feel sometimes. Even just breathing is not as easy as it used to be. I will follow your advice & keep busy. I get more than my fair share of hugs already, but I won't knock any back.
I had a good night. Will tell you about it in the morning. I'm not aching as much. Maybe it's because I relaxed? I have no idea really.
 
I find that when my life gets abnormal doing normal things helps me stay centered. Don't let a few events that you have no control over prevent you from doing the normal healthy things that you can. I am a praying person Cate and I just prayed for you. Keep fighting the good fight.
 
Thank you, brawny.
I am having trouble relaxing & it is really hard to make yourself relax. I had a really nice night last night & that was good. G's team was playing off to get into the grand final on Saturday & it was a very close competition. They needed to win the last 3 games & did. It was really good pool & good friendly competition. The team we played we get on very well with. It's a pity we can't meet them in the final.
I stayed home from women's golf today. I really just didn't feel up to it. I always come home cranky & out of sorts. I also am still aching all over.

G & I have quite a few things we need to do so will attack them today. It's the time of year of AGM's & getting ready for next year. In his case he is handing over the Captaincy of the golf club so needs to have everything ready for a clean handover. :D
With me, I'm secretary/treasurer of the Vet's & I have to do a Financial statement for the year & get everything ready for the AGM. I have never done this before. I have never been a secretary on a committee before. I am going to use the KISS principle & try not to get bogged down. If anyone is not happy with how I do anything I will happily hand it all over. I don't think there will be a queue.

I had better make a start!
 
cate said:
I have always liked to know "what the plan is"
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I drive my wife absolutely insane with this. We don't go anywhere or eat anything without the words, "So, what's the plan?" slipping out of my mouth. I can be a spontaneous person, but I can't stand not to be on the same page with everyone else. I'll wrack my brain otherwise.
 
I can change plans at will, (as long as it´s not "o, no, we´re not going hiking after all; let´s spend the first sunny day in weeks watching Formula 1 in a darkened room") but I do like to know the when. Just so´s I can plan my introvert recuperation time around it :p
 
cate said:
I am having trouble relaxing & it is really hard to make yourself relax.
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Have you thought about a new hobby? I know when I need to divert my focus, I like to work with my hands - assemble something or make a fishing lure. Just a thought.
LaMaria said:
watching Formula 1 in a darkened room
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Funny you mention that, J and I watch MotoGP regularly - the two-wheeled version of F1 - though we record it so we can watch at night, say, AFTER that daytime hike.
 
I think the when is the most important thing with me. I actually rang the Oncologist when G was out in the paddock, but the office was closed for the day. He told us G would be on the "Category 1" list, but when the notice came from the hospital it said semi-urgent. I just want it clarified.
I kept myself very busy yesterday & got suitably distracted. The financial stuff took me umpteen hours! I balanced the books & got them in order & will be able to file most of it away after the AGM. I got handed 16 years worth of paperwork in no particular order when I took over this "job" part way through the year. I am going to put it all in a box, label it & "file" it out at the golf club in the office. I am only going to keep the relevant stuff that I need & am getting that sorted out nicely.

I think going for a walk is the best thing for me. I have a plan to go through my house & sort everything out & try to sell some stuff we don't need. We have too much. Usually, I give it away to a charity shop, but I think it would be good to actually get some money back for it. Getting such a big scare with G made me realise that I need to be a bit more careful with finances.

I am going to do more paperwork today so that I am ready for the AGM. There is a lot more to this job than I realised!
 
There always is... More paperwork, I mean. My dad took over the books of his bee club from his one-time book-keeping teacher and there was just nothing there except for an unsorted pile of receipts :eek:
 
I have done it & I can actually say I am ready for the AGM. It didn't help that I somehow threw away the scrappy draft minutes from the last meeting!! :eek: Luckily the sane(?) part of me had saved a draft on my laptop & G had a list of the players that day, who all attended the meeting. I do not like being secretary!

Earlier in the day I got a very stressful letter from the lawyer. I swore, I cried, I yelled, I shook etc. Then I rang them, then the actual boss lawyer rang me back. To cut a very long story short she has agreed to do what my brother & I had wanted to do, even though, in the letter, they told us we couldn't. We had a big heart to heart. More tears on my part!
I have tried ringing my brother but he's not answering. I wanted to tell him that the info in the letter no longer applied, before he gets a chance to go off his rocker!
I will never be an executor of a will for anyone ever again!
The junior lawyer gave us incorrect info & the boss realised it.
I am so exhausted, but I will attempt to give myself some credit for achieving a lot today!
 
Sorting out someone's estate can be exhausting depending on the size of the estate and if things were in proper order. Makes you think about doing it again for sure. Give yourself the credit you deserve. I know here in Canada even with a will and things in order and the will not going to probate it still took a year to clear up everything with my mother in law's estate. Hopefully it won't be that long for you. Take care!
 
Thanks, cowboy. I think Mum thought she had it all sorted & I know I thought it was too, but there have been too many "altercations" with the lawyer for my liking. I was given incorrect advice early on by them. It's too complicated to explain really. It will get sorted & I will just have to hope that something doesn't come back to bite me one day. The advice they gave me may cause a rift with one of my siblings, which would be very upsetting for both of us. It was all over my mother doing something wrong & me trying to right it. I'm not some supreme being & I should stop trying to right the world. I hope I learn a lesson from this. I could have handled it better, but I don't think I was thinking straight. With G being diagnosed with cancer just after my mum dying I think it was all too much for my brain to cope with.

I'm feeling a lot saner today. Unfortunately, I have to talk to my brother :(
I spoke to G this morning about wanting to phone the Oncologist to clarify which list G is on. He told us "Category 1", but when the notice came from the hospital it said "semi-urgent". Every morning I go over & over this in my head (plus during the day). I wanted him to agree to my ringing so asked him if he minded if I did. I don't want to upset him needlessly. He thought it should be ok. He hates "bothering" people. I picked him at a weak moment ;)

It's a beautiful day here today. Spring has sprung for sure. There are birds absolutely everywhere. The Welcome Swallows have arrived & have decided to nest on the South side of our house, instead of near our entrance on the North side :D It's the side we face looking toward the mountains, so we see them flitting about all day. I love them. They herald Spring to me.

Time to get moving. We are going to the tip today but have dishes to do first. Not exciting at all, but a day without too much stress hopefully. I'm feeling much stronger today!
 
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