Victoria's Journal

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GW1: 138 lbs
Next GW is 135 lbs. my plan is to eat salad with chicken for lunch and dinner.
 
137.8 lbs. I'm eating one turkey sausage flatbread a day( except today I'm taking an extra one on a hike)
 
Do not give up! You can do this. I suggest you do not focus that much on the numbers. Just focus on diet and exercise to begin with. This worked for me every time I lost motivation and/or showed bad results on the scale. I am 6ft1 and started at 243 lbs Three years later I am 180 lbs. I know you can do this!!!
 
142.0 lbs. okay so I'm bulimic. I've been so for 17 years. I always tried to get out of the cycle. I get so hungry even after I eat so I would just eat.
Anyway yesterday was the first day in years that I didn't binge or purge. Today I ate and didn't b/p. It feels so good.
Yesterday I ate a turkey sausage flatbread from dd. and I had 4 wingettes and a lettuce salad. A ripe tomato and half an eggplant. I went and did the cybex for 50 min. Today I was sabotaged by my sister who brought me spaghetti, turkey ground, and corn. I also 5 wingettes. 1 iced coffee with almond milk. I went to the gym twice today. Cybex: 60 min

Day 3 I am going to have only one iced coffee with almond milk from dd. the rest of the day I plan on drinking water.
I plan on going to the gym twice tomorrow and do the cybex.
 
Hi Victoria, it's good that you have acknowledged that you suffer from Bulimia. Have you had counselling ? I really recommend seeking professional help. Our YS was bulimic for many of his teenage years & suffers badly from low self esteem, along with other issues. He has only just seen a psychologist for the first time this week. He is now 32. 17 years is a long time to struggle with this, virtually on your own. He is only now accepting he needs help. Don't delay it too long sweetie. It is not wrong to seek help. Starving yourself is not the answer either. Building self esteem is such an important aspect of having a good life in my opinion. We must learn to love ourselves.
Please think about seing someone professionally. I'm not sure where you live so don't know what is available for you. Sending you lots of love, xo Cate.
 
Well thanks for the support Cate. No I am not seeking help.

Another day b/p free! It is getting easier to say no to the cravings. I am now 144 lbs. yesterday I was 145 lbs. I had a sausage, egg, and cheese croissant for breakfast. A little spaghetti and salad for lunch. Dinner was a salad (just lettuce and red onions) with Sweet Vidalia onion dressing.
I also did the Cybex for 30 min.
 
142.8 lbs. I did not b/p today. I had a salad with 0 cal honey mustard dressing and sardines. I ate the whole can! I am making 5 cal broth right now. I also had 2 glasses of diet coke with blueberry lemonade rum. I hope that is all I will eat.
 
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151.0 ugh! I want to get back to the 140s. I can't really diet until my mom leaves on jan 12.
 
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