Hello. It's been a very long time since I have been on here. I would love to say I had good news, that I had made it to my goal, was super fit, and feeling confident. That unfortunately is the furthest thing from the truth.
I now weigh almost 200 pounds, which is the heaviest I have ever been in my life. That was scary to write even though I've weighed this much for a while now. I am super unfit, aside from walking my dogs I get no exercise at all. Doing a 2 min jog at agility class gets me totally winded. I can't fit into any clothes so spend most of my time in sweat pants and sweaters.
I am showing my standard poodle now and it makes a much less pretty picture when I'm jiggling around the ring with him looking horrible (crammed into spanx). My mom is taking the family on a cruise next January, and I live in a lake community so would also like some confidence to go swimming and just wear tank top and shorts.
I no longer go to Meetups because I was pretty known at the time as being the 'fit girl' and could not face seeing the same faces now that I'm the 'obese girl'.
So I'm here trying to get started again. I managed some slight self control today in my eating, and even though I felt tired I made myself take the dogs for a walk. Tomorrow I think I'll try to do a Jillian Michael's DVD and again try to limit eating. I'm not sure if I'll immediately start on myfitnesspal again or if I'll just try to cut back on snacking and bad food first to get things going, then once I'm in the groove more I can be a bit more restrictive. Since I have so much to lose now I have more leeway to not be exact with my cals, which I will need to be as I get closer to my goal and have less to lose.
Tomorrow morning I will try to weigh myself to get an exact weight, and I will also take pictures. I will absolutely HATE the pictures, but I remember last time I lost weight I didn't take pictures of my before and I did regret it later cause I couldn't see my whole journey and how far I had truly came.
It may take me a while to get into it enough to start responding to other people's diaries, but hopefully once I'm really committed I can start checking on other people's progress. I already was happy to see some familiar faces still around (or having come back). I saw that MrVee hasn't come on in a couple months and hope that he is going well still!