This is the time

Well last night finished badly, or today started badly...

I ate 3 bowls of Sultana Bran before I went to bed last night. Three was what it took to make me feel really full. I have some issues which are preying on my mind and emotions at present. That was the catalyst. I was hungry and felt like having a bowl of cereal would be reasonable, but I guess whatever I ate right then, I would have eaten too fast and wanted too much of. I did deliberately make sure I kept eating the same thing, because it's so high in fibre that I figured I would have too much, more quickly that way. I figured the overeating would stop at that. Turned out that much was right. However, in the morning I was thinking about the calories which I reckoned to be at least 500, and now I have checked and it was 1100.

Bugger.

That was late at night too, so not surprisingly, when I woke up at a normal time this morning I was tired and not hungry. I had a piece of toast (75) and jam (15) and half a cup of coffee (5) then took the girl to school.

Just as well the boy stayed home with me I guess, because when I fell asleep in front of the computer he woke me up and reminded me that I had an egg still boiling on the stove ... I'm not going to let my mind dwell too much on that one ...

Eventually I was hungry again, so I put the egg (80) into 2 slices wholemeal bread (150), and had a whole cup of coffee (5) and a small banana (60).

I went shopping and while I was out I bought 2 dates (110) and ate them, reminding myself how incredibly fast the calories add up on those things and choosing not to buy any more than that.

When my husband came home we went for a walk together in the bush with our dog (About 25 minutes).

Then we came back home and it wasn't time for dinner, but I was hungry so I had a piece of cold grilled chicken (~100). That was very effective at filling me up. But everyone was home, all the computers were full and I was restless as. Really what I wanted to do was fix the issue that's troubling me, but it's not something I can fix, so secondarily I wanted to eat, or muck around on the computer, or read and eat ... I really felt very very clear that my issue was emotional but that my impulse for dealing with that was massively eating orientated. It was a near thing, but I do NOT want to keep going backwards with this.

So I was thinking what I would say if someone else was telling me that this was how I felt, and of course I would tell them they should do something, anything really, just anything other than start eating the junk, and preferably something active, especially exercise, and it occurred to me that I had enough time before I next had to organize food, so I went for a swim in the pool.

Thank goodness. It felt so right. I haven't been there for a while - when the girl is around I tend to go to the beach instead. Also I haven't actually swum freestyle properly in the pool since the day after Christmas when I hurt my neck. Having eaten the chicken probably didn't help but I was still surprised at how much my capacity had dropped. Whereas before Christmas I could easily swim 6-8 laps of freestyle barely stopping, today I ran out of puff after 3/4 of my first lap! I didn't feel all that bad about it though - it was really good to do something that couldn't be done at all without that level of effort. I swam for 35-40 minutes and came home feeling great.

I got dinner for the girl and then watched the newly started Australian Biggest Loser while eating a whole bunch of veges. Cabbage (10), carrot (40), mushrooms (5), snow peas (10), a capsicum (30). Total - 95.

Then I got dinner ready. I had 170 gm grilled veal (187), 90 gm potato smashed (63), ~10 gm parmesan (~40), 4 m/w asparagus (12), 1 m/w carrot (40), 1/2 grilled capsicum (15)and 2 grilled mushrooms (4), with a few capers sprinkled over it. Very yum! Total -351

I had accidentally run out of yoghurt which made me a little anxious because I think I actually manage to eat better if I include that, than if I skip it. I was feeling ok - not hungry not craving anything but I know I'm not really in a good place right now and I've been caught before by the way that these things can tip over and dump on me suddenly. However, my son had chosen some frozen desserts that turned out to be low cal/low fat so I had one of them. (Not a cravings trigger tonight - I don't know if it would be another time or not.) It's called a Boost bliss bar "low fat icecream with 40% real fruit gelati". (78)

I kept watching TV, dozed, woke up, went and got my son from the movies, watched tv and after a while I had nice big peach (55). I felt calm and not fussed about food, still. :)

Total since I woke up 1099 - but combined with the Sultana Bran - twice as much - 2200.


Rather a weird day foodwise. Nice on the exercise. Good for me - I nearly started another binge but I turned away from it.

In other news, yesterday I decided to try my party frock on again. This is partly because I found out that I have something to go to in a week. Hence I no longer had till April to become thin enough to wear it. I thought maybe the reason I couldn't do it up last Saturday was because I was just hot and sweaty from travelling in the heat, and maybe lacked the patience. So I had another try and it zipped up fine.

Then today, as I was at the pool I figured I would weigh myself, even though it was near the end of the day and I usually try to weigh in the morning. I weighed 2 kg (4.4 lb) less than last Saturday. I don't know exactly what is going on. I thought the amount I weighed last week was to be expected. I wasn't so full of food today so it figures I would be down a bit, despite not having eaten or exercised stunningly this week. 2 kgs seems too much though. I wouldn't be surprised if it's up a bit - maybe a kg by the morning. Still the dress does fit!

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Also, today the health club guy rang back, yet again, to see if I was ready to book the start up training sessions from my membership. I didn't exactly feel ready, because I know I should have done more work on my knee, but then again, I don't have any specific injury troubling me right now, and I also felt like I could do with something extra happening - and really didn't want to keep putting this thing off. So he's going to get me a trainer, and I will probably have an assessment late next week.
 
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Well that weight stayed off. Today I weighed 69 kg. It seems unreasonably low but in fact I recall losing 2 kg in the week after I came back from New Zealand and 2 kilos in the week after my Christmas binge, so I guess it's not so strange. My prediction therefore would be that next week I will not lose so much, maybe nothing?

Saturday 9 February 2008

Breakfast 10:00: Slice wholemeal toast (75) with plum and cinnamon jam.(9) A boiled egg (70) with 2 mushrooms (5). Weetbix (107) with soy milk (122) and ½ C tinned peaches (50). C coffee with a little hilo milk. (5)
Breakfast - 418 calories.

Lunch 2:00 : 4 wholemeal Vive crackers (100). 100 gm low fat cottage cheese (90). A small carrot (40). 120 gm bunch grapes (75) Lunch - 305


7:30 Dinner 250 gm corned beef (350). 120 gm m/w potato (84). Medium m/w carrot (50), m/w cabbage (15). Wholegrain mustard.
Boost Bar (78) grapes (90) 200 gm diet apricot yoghurt (84). Dinner - 751

The corned beef had more calories for a given weight than I expected. I was guessing it based on measuring a raw weight, like I do with grilled meat, instead of the cooked weight.

The yoghurt is definitely better at signalling me it's time to stop eating than the Boost Bar is. However one out of a single box of Boost Bars in the house is not terribly dangerous I reckon because there's only 4 in a box - ie one each - and they're very popular.

Total - 1474

So this would have been a good day - except now I've noticed I haven't exercised again. That will end up happening again tomorrow I bet, unless I purposely go out fairly early in the morning, which could be hard to squash in as we have guests coming. We'll see.
 
2kg down in a week, very nice. The saltana bran was probably ok because it weighs less on the scale than say some heavy weight food with less calories. 2200 isnt too bad.

Good on you for fitting the dress! do we get pics? :D
 
Hi Brandy! I see you are the survivor of a much thinned Challenge field!! :D

Thanks wishes. Well I don't feel virtuous about fitting back into the dress, but I do feel happy about it! I chose it in September and I've never worn it It is definitely the most appropriate thing I have for next weekend and I would have felt really ticked off if I couldn't wear it after all. (Who would I have been ticked off with? Well, someone made me eat horribly - the bitch!!)

I haven't felt like posting pics as I've had no change to show for such a long time. Today I have horrifically red eyes from staying up much too late last night. However, I do like this dress. I guess it is fairly sedate really, but compared to what I would once have worn, it has a bit of a "look at me" factor which I would have avoided like the plague before I lost that weight so I might try to get a picture when I'm getting ready for the party.
 
Sunday 10 February 2008

Breakfast 10:00: Slice wholemeal toast (75) with plum and cinnamon jam.(9) A boiled egg (70) with a small tomato (20). Weetbix (107) with soy milk (122) and ½ C tinned peaches (50). C coffee with a little hilo milk. (5)
Breakfast - 458 calories.

Lunch/afternoon get together 3:00 : A few slices of olive and onion ciabatta (150). 2 (?) slices turkish bread (50) with a little EVO oil (50) and spices. A little light french onion dip (20) Probably about 30 gm white castello cheese (100). A few marinated olives (30). Lots of snow peas (15), 1/2 capsicum (15), a carrot (40), a little celery. A few capers and 1/2 gherkin. ~ 1 measure of brandy with soda (70) . Green seedless grapes (100). Total - 640

Fuzzy total. Everything needs ? s tonight because I didn't count how many of things, and I can't check the bread weights or recipes. I do have a fair memory of how much I served up and how much of that I ate myself though. I think it's helpful to make these estimates.

Dinner 7:30 : A drum and thigh of roast chicken from Red Rooster (300?), from which I removed the skin and any obvious fat. A can of 4 bean mix (285) with a chopped small tomato (15), and a chopped cucumber (10). a capsicum (25), a small carrot (40), and about 20 snow peas (20). 200 gm diet apricot yoghurt (84). Dinner - 779

Total - 1877


I'm quite happy about that dinner. In the recent past I've bought chicken for my family and for my own "fast" meal I've eaten some tinned tuna, beans and lots of salad, but despite how much I like that, I think it sometimes left me tonight I would have felt a little deprived. Also, I've sometimes figured that after an odd meal where I wasn't sure about calories and things, and in a time when I'm still wishing I hadn't put myself backwards with a recent binge, I might have made the serves of protein and carbs very small, and maybe ended up hungry and confused. Whereas right now I just feel comfortable about what I've eaten and what I've done.

I am a little rueful now I've checked the amount of beans. I can't get the 1 serve size of beans right now and this is the second time that I've forgotten that the bigger tin has 2.4 serves, and that the calories in a serve of beans is higher than in a serve of bread. Drat. They are very satisfying though, which is good, because chicken by itself is not I find.

Also, I was happy that this was not a routine day, but I could roughly predict how many calories I was getting as the day went by. I did underestimate though. Not a great day but maybe not too bad considering that we had people over and that I hadn't thought things through much in advance. A C looks ok if you've recently been scoring D and E's. :D

No exercise again. I did walk back and forth inside the house a lot!

Tomorrow is my first day teaching after about 3 months. I'm kinda looking forward to it, just a little anxious that a busy day today might have meant that I've forgotten to prepare something and will be rushing too much. Also my girl is going to walk home from school afterwards and will have to wait a little while for me to get here, so she is nervous about that. She wants to do this because she feels old enough, and there is little to genuinely threaten her, but she's anxious right now about whether it will feel too scary when it comes to the crunch and can't sleep. So of course I am not too comfortable either!
 
Hi Felici! How old is your daughter? what grade do you teach?

I have a 15 year old daughter and a 17 year old son.
 
Hi. My girl is 12 in a month's time. I also have a 14 year old boy.

I do relief teaching. I don't have a class of my own, though I tend to go back to the same schools and grades a few times during the year. This coming week I will teach two preprimary classes and a mixed kindy/preprimary class, all at the same school. I tend to teach the younger primary children, but I sometimes take older primary classes too.

I liked your old avvie, but this new one is pretty cute too! :D
 
haha thanks! I love Josh Holloway, I feel inspired to look better when i look at his sexy face!!

good luck tomorrow teaching! do you bring your lunch?
 
That is a sexy face for sure!! :D

Thanks for the luck. I expect to enjoy my time at school. I've been there a lot before. It's just the before and after that gets difficult!!

Yes, I take my lunch. The schools here don't always have canteens, and it can be awkward to find out what the process of using them is along with everything else at a new school. I don't know what I'll take tomorrow. I often take cottage cheese, wholemeal crackers, veges and fruit, but tomorrow I might take a corned beef sandwich, seeing as there's some in the fridge. I have to be a bit careful with the lunches because I never know how long a lunch break I'll end up with. 40 minutes if I'm superlucky, but quite possibly 10-15 minutes.
 
sounds good, my therapist always says, "If you fail to plan, you plan to fail!"

I have my teaching degree but chose to stay home and provide childcare, I only have two little babies right now and one little boy in the am..but they keep me busy for sure!!!

Have a wonderful rest of your sunday!! :biggrinjester:
 
Thanks Jillzy. I live in Western Australia, so I am off to work now! I have enough breakfast here to eat slowly and happily for about 40 minutes and about 7 minutes time to eat it in!!

Have a nice evening!! :)
 
felici said:
Thanks Jillzy. I live in Western Australia, so I am off to work now! I have enough breakfast here to eat slowly and happily for about 40 minutes and about 7 minutes time to eat it in!!

Have a nice evening!! :)
Click to expand...

how was your day!!???
 
School was fun!

Also while I was there I heard about a part time job that I might perhaps do there. I wasn't looking for anything like that, and it's quite possible that the position has already been filled, but it did add a bit of interest. Even if I ended up doing it, I'm not sure that it would be 100% wonderful for me, but it would probably help me end up in better position later on.

However the weather has turned hot as and humid as, and I've found out we can expect a week of too much! Also, the cold that started last night (personal, not weather), has started to make me feel like I have a weight clamped on the front of my face. And a friendship issue that I've been dealing with lately continued it's downward slide.

I left myself without enough time for a swim this evening, but there is more good news! I stood in line at the checkout and faced down the chocolates that were calling me, and although I ate more than I should have after school, I then ate less than I might have at dinner time, and when I wasn't sure about eating more I roughly counted up my calories and worked out that it was time to stop. And stopped, despite the crappy aspects of the day.

For me these calories are a little high, but I can handle that. All my thoughts about what I'm doing right now are bent towards avoiding the binge issues I've had recently, and to me this looks like a day that might have been the start of something bad, but wasn't. :D

Monday 11 February 2008

Breakfast 10:00: Slice wholemeal toast (75) with plum and cinnamon jam.(9) A boiled egg (70) with a small tomato (20). Weetbix (107) with soy milk (122) and ½ C tinned peaches (50). C coffee with a little hilo milk. (5)
Breakfast - 458 calories.

Snack: 1/3 banana (25) (supposed to be a whole banana! but banana's don't always travel all that well!).

Lunch: 2 small sandwiches made with wholemeal Vienna bread (150) and 50 gm corned beef (105). A small carrot (40). A few grapes(50). Lunch - 345.

4:00 200 gm diet yoghurt (84) .

5:15 Apricot delight roll. (A bakery bread roll - supposedly hi fibre, low GI etc) (234)

5:30 50 gm corned beef (105).

Slice wholemeal bread (75).

Afternoon calories - 498

Dinner: 50 gm corned beef (105). Slice wholemeal bread (75). Lots of salad veges - A capsicum (30), 1/2 small tomato (10), lettuce, a piece of broccoli , snow peas (15), cucumber (8), mushroom ( 2). 3 fresh dates (165). Diet apricot yoghurt ( 84). Total - 494

Lots and lots of diet drinks and soda water.



Total - 1795
 
Hi Felici!

I am so glad that your day at work went well and you "slew the dragon" with the chocolate! :) That is great!!!!!!

Everyday presents challenges and when we meet and conquer even the smallest ones, it is a very BIG thing in this journey to find healthier ways to eat and manage our weight (and lose weight!)

I love reading your blog...and the differences between Austrailia and the states.

How did your daughter do? I am sure once she will adjust...but unsettling the first time in that situation.

Hope you are having a good day!

Beth
 
I'm glad school went well! Great job on passing on temptation. A good substitute teacher is worth her...make that my weight in gold :)
 
Bethann - Hi! Thank you for your thoughts. It seems big to me. I guess I have a lot of responses that I used for a long time, and they can go quiet for a quite a while if they're ignored long enough, but once I let them get back it's like I have to start all over again retraining myself.

I forgot about the daughter after school thing. It was so much on my mind, and then once it wasn't today's problem any more it blipped off!

Actually I came home asap and she wasn't here! She didn't want to come into the house by herself so she walked the longest way home she could, a detour I guess, but a very safe one. Though I didn't know that, so I was a little concerned and went straight back out again, finding her face predictably, and not far away, and smiling!

Cannon - thanks.

I don't how great I am - I can cope well with the unexpected or not having things left for me. In general am vastly better than when I started!! But I know I have limits to what I can do well. However I have learned heaps from all the relief work I've done, because mainly I work from other people's programs, so I get to try out heaps of things, and see many different ways that they do things. I like that. And I do enjoy the children, especially the littlest kids.

Today I had a little boy do finger painting for the first time. (So he's like 3-4 yo). I said cheerfully, "Put your hand in the paint" - a blob of blue paint - and his little face just instantly crumpled up! So he started with just one fingertip in the paint. That worked out fine.

But then there was the girl that told me another girl had spat at her ... and I did a great inquisition (getting nowhere), before finally I remembered other similar conversations (first day back is my excuse), and I said, "Was it an accident? Did you just spit a bit without meaning to while you were talking?" Finally I get the head nod.

Or there was the other little brand new cherub who puts his hand up to answer a question, and I say "Yes, K" and he just smiles at me, and after a bit I say "Do you want to answer the question?" and he says "Yes," and I wait again and he smiles and I say, "Are you going to tell me the answer?" and he says "Yes" and I wait and then I say "What is it?" and then he says, "Well my Kofee sometimes he tells me things and he told me what that is called," and I wait, "What did he tell you?" and about then some other child calls out "Knuckles," "Knuckles," says my cherub. I thought Kofee must be some South African name for Grandpa or Uncle or something but I found out later it is his cuddle toy!
 
Tuesday 12 February 2008

Breakfast 10:00: Slice wholemeal toast (75) with plum and cinnamon jam.(9) A boiled egg (70) with a small tomato (20) and a mushroom (2). 2 Weetbix (107) with 1 C soy milk (122) and ½ C tinned peaches (50). C coffee with a little hilo milk. (5)
Breakfast - 460 calories.


Lunch:
11:30 Zucchini and ham frittata. (200) (I bought this out so I am guessing calories and ingredients but they did say it was low fat, I know it had egg, zucchini, carrots, and ham in it.)

12:00 Apricot delight roll. (234)

1:30 2 apricots (20)
2:00 3 fresh dates (165)

Lunch/snack - 619


Dinner: ~ 150 gm lean grilled lamb (190). Slice wholemeal bread (75). 2 slices beetroot (15). Lots of salad veges - A capsicum (30), carrot (55), celery (10), 1/2 small tomato (10), cabbage (10), a piece of broccoli (10), snow peas (10), cucumber (8), mushroom ( 2). Boost smoothie on a stick (85)

Dinner - 510

Lots and lots of diet drinks and soda water - again!

Total - 1589.

Exercise: 4:50 45 minute walk with dog in the bush. It was hot but I thought not too bad, with a little breeze - from the land though, not the sea, but I've since found out we had our maximum about then, 36.8 C (98 F).

So a fair day as far as food and exercise goes.
 
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