wow that's a huge loss in a week for your size... impressive 
Kudos especially because it's obvious you're doing it in a healthy way
Kudos especially because it's obvious you're doing it in a healthy way
This is the time
- Thread starter felici
- Start date
felici
Well-known member
Thank you, Tyly!!
Another nice thing was that my husband gave me a hug and some extra kudos when I ran off for a little swim last night. He also said he'd seen my "before" picture again that day. (I'd left it out because I was rescanning it), and he'd pretty much forgotten what a big change it was.
As for me, it's so fun to be able to run along the beach with my girl while she's still young enough to think it's good I'm there. Great days.
Another nice thing was that my husband gave me a hug and some extra kudos when I ran off for a little swim last night. He also said he'd seen my "before" picture again that day. (I'd left it out because I was rescanning it), and he'd pretty much forgotten what a big change it was.
As for me, it's so fun to be able to run along the beach with my girl while she's still young enough to think it's good I'm there. Great days.
felici
Well-known member
Oh and thank you mal!
I am trying to make it stay healthy - while still adding a bit of extra speed! I think the size of the loss is partly cos of last week's horrible big gain. I guess the part of the gain that was able to happen most quickly was also able to drop off most quickly too. And I have changed my food a bit and my exercise a lot, not just different from Christmas, different from the last few months.
I am trying to make it stay healthy - while still adding a bit of extra speed! I think the size of the loss is partly cos of last week's horrible big gain. I guess the part of the gain that was able to happen most quickly was also able to drop off most quickly too. And I have changed my food a bit and my exercise a lot, not just different from Christmas, different from the last few months.
felici
Well-known member
OK. I don't know the full story at this stage, but I see Randy's diary (This trucker fights back), has been locked. I know how it started. Someone changed his signature from a pro-Steelers slogan to "Steelers Suck". He changed it back. And now his thread is locked. Shades of last January. I can't tell whether the person who mucked around with his siggie, also chose to lock his thread for their own reasons, or whether he asked for it to happen because he was so pissed off at the space invasion. Either way it sucks big time.
I don't come here for this.
I don't come here for this.
daiseeangel
New member
Oh my gosh. My mouth is gaping open.
I LOVE chatting with Randy, and whoever did that needs to GROW UP.
This is total crap.
I'm in shock.
I LOVE chatting with Randy, and whoever did that needs to GROW UP.
This is total crap.
I'm in shock.
Cannon 2006
New member
Yeah, I never have chatter with Randy too much. We've popped into each other's diaries, but we have definitely been ships passing in the night. This is upsetting that somebody would do this sort of thing to a diary.
Miss Ladybug
New member
Ahhhh it is nice to spend time with your children when they actually love being with you. My sons are at that age when they spend a lot of time with their friends and less time at home anymore, and I miss our time together, so savor it, that's all I can say. I will say however, that my sons were in town staying with other friends on Saturday night and three of their friends stopped by and hung out with me and my H for awhile to just shoot the bull, it was nice, or at least good to know that we are still somewhat cool to 18-20 year olds. LOL LOL LOL
I can't believe what has happened to Randy's diary, I guess you got mean and rude people in every bunch. Hopefully, he will start a new one back up and we can just pick up from there.
I want to thank you so much for all the rep, your are super sweet for that, and I hope you know it!!!
Enjoy your day!!!
PS, it's good to see our Hubby's make a comment about our weight loss, it just makes us feel so much better! After all they are the people who see us most.
HUGS
Kim
I can't believe what has happened to Randy's diary, I guess you got mean and rude people in every bunch. Hopefully, he will start a new one back up and we can just pick up from there.
I want to thank you so much for all the rep, your are super sweet for that, and I hope you know it!!!
Enjoy your day!!!
PS, it's good to see our Hubby's make a comment about our weight loss, it just makes us feel so much better! After all they are the people who see us most.
HUGS
Kim
bethann1156
New member
Hi Felici! You are doing an amazing job! Congrats! Have fun with your daughter running--what a great and healthful activity to do together.
I have been blessed that my kids still like to hang with me and do things (they are 28, 26, 20 and almost 19!) I love spending time with them!
Continue to have a good week and thanks so much for stopping by my diary and rooting me on!!
I have been blessed that my kids still like to hang with me and do things (they are 28, 26, 20 and almost 19!) I love spending time with them!
Continue to have a good week and thanks so much for stopping by my diary and rooting me on!!
felici
Well-known member
Brandy, Tyly, Cannon, Kim, Bethann. Thanks for your posts. I especially appreciated them just now.
Randy was the first WLFer to ever post in this diary. Mal also said hi. Brandy visited within the first couple of weeks. None of the other people who posted here at first visit this forum any more. Many more have come and gone. Some I still miss.
Randy's encouragement to me to use my diary, was very strong. Overall, a little from him, made a big impact at that early stage - especially as I could see how much he'd already done for himself and how much effort he was still putting in.
Looking back I see myself as essentially the same person, but what a difference some fitness and 27% less weight make! My attitude to food and fitness is so different. I'm so much more confident and knowledgeable. It's interesting to go back and see things like "I'm really looking forward to being able to bend over and tie my shoes or clean the bath without feeling like I'm about to pop my aorta....Well looking foward to, might be putting it a bit strongly but hoping ..." And that little big goal I passed sooo long ago now.
Even longer ago than the first, critical time I felt I'd stuffed up and felt so strengthened by Randy's empathy.
His presence here was fun and entertaining, but so heartfelt on the weight loss side. I'm really grieving for his absence here and for the manner of his leaving.
Randy was the first WLFer to ever post in this diary. Mal also said hi. Brandy visited within the first couple of weeks. None of the other people who posted here at first visit this forum any more. Many more have come and gone. Some I still miss.
Randy's encouragement to me to use my diary, was very strong. Overall, a little from him, made a big impact at that early stage - especially as I could see how much he'd already done for himself and how much effort he was still putting in.
Looking back I see myself as essentially the same person, but what a difference some fitness and 27% less weight make! My attitude to food and fitness is so different. I'm so much more confident and knowledgeable. It's interesting to go back and see things like "I'm really looking forward to being able to bend over and tie my shoes or clean the bath without feeling like I'm about to pop my aorta....Well looking foward to, might be putting it a bit strongly but hoping ..." And that little big goal I passed sooo long ago now.
Even longer ago than the first, critical time I felt I'd stuffed up and felt so strengthened by Randy's empathy.
His presence here was fun and entertaining, but so heartfelt on the weight loss side. I'm really grieving for his absence here and for the manner of his leaving.
Cannon 2006
New member
It really is sad when people leave...moreso how it happenned, but I always take comfort that they were here when I needed them most and their posts and thoughts helped me to continue on this road to well-being that I am on now.
daiseeangel
New member
I'm sad to not see him around, too. We hadn't been friends for very long, but I really enjoyed getting to know him! Once I discovered he is a Steeler fan, we formed an instant connection!
He has a great sense of humor about things, and he was very serious/empathetic/knowledgeable/accomplished when it came to weight loss. I miss chatting with him!
And please, Felici, don't go anywhere! I would miss you greatly. You are always so supportive and kind! This place would not be the same, at least not for me, without you!
He has a great sense of humor about things, and he was very serious/empathetic/knowledgeable/accomplished when it came to weight loss. I miss chatting with him!
And please, Felici, don't go anywhere! I would miss you greatly. You are always so supportive and kind! This place would not be the same, at least not for me, without you!
felici
Well-known member
I have so much buzzing around in my brain about my weight right now. Seeing as it is morning here, the buzzing is off in some far corner and hard to hear thank goodness. This is a "thank goodness" on your behalf as well as my own.
Last night I had so much racket going on up the front where I could hear it, that I did really want to get out of bed and come write it down here. If I'd posted it where it could be seen I really think someone would have found a way to send someone with a white coat to come and get me.
And I bet you think this post sounds crazy. Comparatively, it is not even close!
Still and all, after an evening that finished up feeling like a waking nightmare, I have woken up in place where I see a path ahead that I believe will work.
I fell asleep thinking of things like hope and faith, and this morning they are still there and have been joined by the plan.
Same old plan. Actually the oldest plan of all.
Okay. Back up a bit felici. Or whatever my name is.
Problem: I am a binge eater.
Why this is a problem: Just one or two days of binging can undo a week of careful eating and exercise. Binging does not appear to be something I can control after I have started.
Discussion: Routes in to my binge eating include: hunger, emotional storms, holiday eating and alcohol. Thirst and tiredness exacerbate the other triggers and a combination of the whole bunch has been known to occurr. Yet I managed 9 months straight with only one 1/2 hour binge.
It seems likely that I do already know how to not binge. I do not think I know how to stop in the middle of binging. Yet, fortunately I never have woken up in the morning wanting to. In fact it seems to be part of binging, for others, not just me, that after a while, the person does stop and is regretful. So despite any feelings of lack of control during the binge there is a time when control can be reasserted.
This is my hope. This is not a vague, "hope you will get what you want cos I like you" kinda hope. This is more like some strong expectation of goodness to come that I heard of once from a Christian.
My faith is my faith in myself. I have done this before. I feel weak and I feel disgusted with myself when I binge. Yet I do not see myself as a weak person. I'm strong. In fact I see that I have to be strong because there are people resting on me. Well perhaps if there are enough people resting on me, and from enough angles, they are maybe not just resting, but also propping me up. Regardless, I have plenty going for me. Emotional issues, holiday issues regardless. (*Leaves out long analogy about strong expensive house with many water related weaknesses*)
I'm not getting into being disgusted with myself here. I skimmed some sites about bingeing last night. I didn't read deeply because there was nothing deep to read. But I see self-disgust is probably more like a contributing cause than a solution, so I'm trying to find something more helpful.
Plan A:
Eat 100% on the old diabetes plan from a million years ago. Only difference - put the egg in at breakfast time. Include all the snacks. Include all the veges. Don't skip any. I'm sure it's possible for me to eat well and yet eat more loosely than that. However, it may not be possible for me to do that right now, and I am sick of bouncing around with this, so I am not taking a chance on that at the moment.
Make the exercise fit the food plan instead of trying to do it the other way around. If I am a binge eater (and I surely am), then that has to be fixed first.
Plan B:
If that doesn't work, reassess. Google some more. Go to the library. Find a psychologist? Find a dietician? Keep the faith. I can't believe it is impossible for me to reach and maintain a normal weight. It must be possible.
OK right I don't really have a Plan B. but I still believe this thing:
Mary Pickford: This thing that we call 'failure' is not the falling down, but the staying down.
Sundry thoughts:
Psychologists: So many sites about binge eating accurately describe my problem and say seek professional help, or else they say they know how to fix it but they won't tell how without me paying them. Is that because they think only one-one counselling works? You know I would be on the phone to a psych now but I know how hard it is to find the right psych here. Nigh on impossible. Then there's the bucketloads of money and the bucketloads of time. Also, in the daylight I can't believe I'm in enough trouble that I need that. Surely at least some bingers can recover without a psychologist. I appear fairly normal. I don't know anyone who doesn't have at least as many emotional issues as me.
Potatoes not Prozac by Kathleen des Maisons was mentioned among the pages I looked at last night. I thought that was a good thing. I read that book 2-3 years ago. I did start doing things out of it. They helped. I think I kept doing more things out of it a bit at a time after I started here. At the time I perceived her book as being about sugar issues, and saw that I fit in there.
Despite realizing now that I fit a binge eating profile, I don't recollect this being part of my own perspective on what I need to come to grips with, until now. When I eat well, I don't fit it. When I eat really badly I fit it to perfection. One site says the signs of a Binge Eating Disorder are:
* binge at least twice a week over a period of several months
* eat and eat even when not really hungry
* eat until uncomfortably full
* eat alone or in secret
* eat continuously without ever feeling satiated
* feel shame and embarrassment about binging
* eat when stressed or faced with emotional challenges
* experience guilt and distress when eating instead of sustenance and comfort.
Well the only thing that doesn't fit there is the first one - twice a week over a period of several months. I did do that in the past. I have not fit that timing for a long while. I will break this now and then I won't fit it.
You think I don't have a problem? I just haven't posted here much when I've been in trouble. Sometimes I was physically unable to. Yet I am roughly the same weight now that I was in September. There is no mysterious plateau needed to account for this. All there is, is binge periods x 3 + one non-bingeing fortnight when I was over on calories. Also I have been sometimes not getting enough calories either before or after the binge period or maybe both.
Further Issues:
Issue 1: I am going camping with friends next Sunday for 3 nights. We are staying in a park up the coast. Getting good food at the right time will be an issue. Alcohol could be an issue.
Issue 2: I am resolved to eat this way starting right now. But I am sick of being the same weight. It is demotivating. I want to be a bit lighter quickly so that I am in new territory. I don't know if I can do that without restarting the binge thing. I haven't even proved I'm over it yet!! Mornings don't count.
Last night I had so much racket going on up the front where I could hear it, that I did really want to get out of bed and come write it down here. If I'd posted it where it could be seen I really think someone would have found a way to send someone with a white coat to come and get me.
And I bet you think this post sounds crazy. Comparatively, it is not even close!
Still and all, after an evening that finished up feeling like a waking nightmare, I have woken up in place where I see a path ahead that I believe will work.
I fell asleep thinking of things like hope and faith, and this morning they are still there and have been joined by the plan.
Same old plan. Actually the oldest plan of all.
Okay. Back up a bit felici. Or whatever my name is.
Problem: I am a binge eater.
Why this is a problem: Just one or two days of binging can undo a week of careful eating and exercise. Binging does not appear to be something I can control after I have started.
Discussion: Routes in to my binge eating include: hunger, emotional storms, holiday eating and alcohol. Thirst and tiredness exacerbate the other triggers and a combination of the whole bunch has been known to occurr. Yet I managed 9 months straight with only one 1/2 hour binge.
It seems likely that I do already know how to not binge. I do not think I know how to stop in the middle of binging. Yet, fortunately I never have woken up in the morning wanting to. In fact it seems to be part of binging, for others, not just me, that after a while, the person does stop and is regretful. So despite any feelings of lack of control during the binge there is a time when control can be reasserted.
This is my hope. This is not a vague, "hope you will get what you want cos I like you" kinda hope. This is more like some strong expectation of goodness to come that I heard of once from a Christian.
My faith is my faith in myself. I have done this before. I feel weak and I feel disgusted with myself when I binge. Yet I do not see myself as a weak person. I'm strong. In fact I see that I have to be strong because there are people resting on me. Well perhaps if there are enough people resting on me, and from enough angles, they are maybe not just resting, but also propping me up. Regardless, I have plenty going for me. Emotional issues, holiday issues regardless. (*Leaves out long analogy about strong expensive house with many water related weaknesses*)
I'm not getting into being disgusted with myself here. I skimmed some sites about bingeing last night. I didn't read deeply because there was nothing deep to read. But I see self-disgust is probably more like a contributing cause than a solution, so I'm trying to find something more helpful.
Plan A:
Eat 100% on the old diabetes plan from a million years ago. Only difference - put the egg in at breakfast time. Include all the snacks. Include all the veges. Don't skip any. I'm sure it's possible for me to eat well and yet eat more loosely than that. However, it may not be possible for me to do that right now, and I am sick of bouncing around with this, so I am not taking a chance on that at the moment.
Make the exercise fit the food plan instead of trying to do it the other way around. If I am a binge eater (and I surely am), then that has to be fixed first.
Plan B:
If that doesn't work, reassess. Google some more. Go to the library. Find a psychologist? Find a dietician? Keep the faith. I can't believe it is impossible for me to reach and maintain a normal weight. It must be possible.
OK right I don't really have a Plan B. but I still believe this thing:
Mary Pickford: This thing that we call 'failure' is not the falling down, but the staying down.
Sundry thoughts:
Psychologists: So many sites about binge eating accurately describe my problem and say seek professional help, or else they say they know how to fix it but they won't tell how without me paying them. Is that because they think only one-one counselling works? You know I would be on the phone to a psych now but I know how hard it is to find the right psych here. Nigh on impossible. Then there's the bucketloads of money and the bucketloads of time. Also, in the daylight I can't believe I'm in enough trouble that I need that. Surely at least some bingers can recover without a psychologist. I appear fairly normal. I don't know anyone who doesn't have at least as many emotional issues as me.
Potatoes not Prozac by Kathleen des Maisons was mentioned among the pages I looked at last night. I thought that was a good thing. I read that book 2-3 years ago. I did start doing things out of it. They helped. I think I kept doing more things out of it a bit at a time after I started here. At the time I perceived her book as being about sugar issues, and saw that I fit in there.
Despite realizing now that I fit a binge eating profile, I don't recollect this being part of my own perspective on what I need to come to grips with, until now. When I eat well, I don't fit it. When I eat really badly I fit it to perfection. One site says the signs of a Binge Eating Disorder are:
* binge at least twice a week over a period of several months
* eat and eat even when not really hungry
* eat until uncomfortably full
* eat alone or in secret
* eat continuously without ever feeling satiated
* feel shame and embarrassment about binging
* eat when stressed or faced with emotional challenges
* experience guilt and distress when eating instead of sustenance and comfort.
Well the only thing that doesn't fit there is the first one - twice a week over a period of several months. I did do that in the past. I have not fit that timing for a long while. I will break this now and then I won't fit it.
You think I don't have a problem? I just haven't posted here much when I've been in trouble. Sometimes I was physically unable to. Yet I am roughly the same weight now that I was in September. There is no mysterious plateau needed to account for this. All there is, is binge periods x 3 + one non-bingeing fortnight when I was over on calories. Also I have been sometimes not getting enough calories either before or after the binge period or maybe both.
Further Issues:
Issue 1: I am going camping with friends next Sunday for 3 nights. We are staying in a park up the coast. Getting good food at the right time will be an issue. Alcohol could be an issue.
Issue 2: I am resolved to eat this way starting right now. But I am sick of being the same weight. It is demotivating. I want to be a bit lighter quickly so that I am in new territory. I don't know if I can do that without restarting the binge thing. I haven't even proved I'm over it yet!! Mornings don't count.
wishes
Coffee Addict
apon reading that binge eating page, it seems that most people would really fit that profile.
I mean by no means would i have been a binge eater, but i would have over eaten regularly. The difference being that somebody gave it a wanky name and label and a very vague description that applys for most people, so they can use an excuse to be fat and overeat.
If you were a binge eater (like addictive type they make out) i doubt very much you would have only been 96kg or been able to loose weight.
Dont stress about getting past the plateau or the camp, 70kg is curvy, 96kg is fat. You are already there, the last 12kg is just the icing on the cake
I mean by no means would i have been a binge eater, but i would have over eaten regularly. The difference being that somebody gave it a wanky name and label and a very vague description that applys for most people, so they can use an excuse to be fat and overeat.
If you were a binge eater (like addictive type they make out) i doubt very much you would have only been 96kg or been able to loose weight.
Dont stress about getting past the plateau or the camp, 70kg is curvy, 96kg is fat. You are already there, the last 12kg is just the icing on the cake
Happychubette
Banned
I am very happy that you are so stoked about your exercise and weight loss. It gives me hope.
It doesn't seem fair that simply hunger can lead to a binge - do you ignore your inner signals to stop when you are that hungry? How did you get that hungry?
It doesn't seem fair that simply hunger can lead to a binge - do you ignore your inner signals to stop when you are that hungry? How did you get that hungry?
felici
Well-known member
Thanks wishes.apon reading that binge eating page, it seems that most people would really fit that profile.
I mean by no means would i have been a binge eater, but i would have over eaten regularly. The difference being that somebody gave it a wanky name and label and a very vague description that applys for most people, so they can use an excuse to be fat and overeat.
If you were a binge eater (like addictive type they make out) i doubt very much you would have only been 96kg or been able to loose weight.
Dont stress about getting past the plateau or the camp, 70kg is curvy, 96kg is fat. You are already there, the last 12kg is just the icing on the cake
You're right those last two things are just issues. They don't have to be big stress things. I have picked myself up after binges already and I'm sure I can now.
I think you were partly saying that there's no point trying to shelter under the idea of a label that excuses inappropriate behaviour. Labeling can be a bad thing when it leads to a sense that there is no need to try and/or no sense in trying.
That is a real risk.
I googled that term last night because I was hoping for ideas somewhere of thoughts that might pull me out of the sense of no control I had, because I had let myself get to a stage where I couldn't think of any. I guess my reading backfired! I think the thing about bingeing is that for some people including me, there is a stage when it gets way out of control. I have the impression this doesn't happen to everyone. I haven't actually tried it in "search" at this site yet, but I have a few more ideas of my own now.
Hunger is sometimes a pathway into overeating for me. Ordinary hunger doesn't do it. It's only if I don't eat or can't get any healthy food and get very hungry and then eventually eat something that is virtually just sugar. It has happened when I've been away from home. Unfortunately, food like that, is available almost everywhere even after all the real food has disappeared. If I do that though, my first sense is that I'm not controlled because I'm eating something I don't normally have, and probably bolting it from being so hungry, so it feels like a mini-binge. Then my blood sugar levels start spiking up and down and that makes me feel like eating more sugar. It does not necessarily lead to any full on binge. It can make it harder to eat right though.